Feb Log

[coordination]

CHARACTERS: Yzak and whoever!
LOCATION: All over the station
DATE: Various
CONTENT: We goin thru it
WARNINGS: ??? will note



Various OTA and closed prompts for all of our post mission needs! Wildcards are fine if you wanna hit me with something. Contact me at gaignun, Tara#1768 or PM me here if you'd Iike a custom starter and I will knock something out!!

Comments

Aftermath (OTA)

[coordination]

[ The end of that mission was full of so much chaos, trauma, sadness, and thanks to that orb, anger, that Yzak's barely had any time to properly process anything. That's what he's used to, though, as not only a mobile suit pilot but a leader, to hold it together in those dangerous, do or die situations so he nor his team end up hurt or worse. And if things did start to take a turn for the worst, he'd at least be focused enough to mitigate as much additional damage as possible.

And boy, did this mission take that turn.

So despite everything, somehow, Yzak manages to keep it together until they're all pulled back to the station, and that orb (a good show? Fuck right off with that) is claimed by Degar. His face is stinging beneath the bandage over the left side of his face where he was wounded earlier, but thankfully he didn't really take much damage beyond that. Others, though ... like Blue who had...

The rush to get those who need to be moved to the infirmary is like a blur to him at that point, and when those frantic moments in the immediate aftermath of their return pass, Yzak is able to start back ... somewhere, his room, probably. And he manages to make it as far as one of the windowed hallways looking out into near blackness (Really, where else would a Gundam character do this) before he stops and leans back against one of the windowsills. Now that the rush is wearing off, those frantic in-the-moment reactive feelings that he had no choice but to repress are roaring back to catch up to him and hit him all at once.

So he leans over, slumping down some and bracing his elbows on his knees, pressing the balls of his hands against his eyes (not as hard on his left, where he's hurt). He pulls in a few short, shaky breaths almost like he's gasping for air, feeling his blood pound in his ears and his heart quicken in his chest. It ain't pretty, but it'll pass.

He doesn't like having these moments, especially somewhere vulnerable like this, anywhere not in the privacy of his room. But, sometimes you just have no control over this sort of thing or where it happens! And he hopes nobody happens to pass by at this moment.

(which means somebody for sure will) ]

[construing]

Hey. What's going on?

[ one such passersby is also the type who cannot just pass by. gwen speaks up before reaching yzak. she doesn't reach out to touch him, unsure if it will be welcome, but she also can't do nothing.

crouching by him, she frowns. he's hurt, obviously; but she doesn't believe the root cause here is physical. she remembers him (hard to forget him) from those first days here on the station. a far cry from his state now. she bites her lip, worried. ]

[coordination]

[ He hears Gwen's footsteps before he hears her voice, and by the time she speaks up he's ... well, trying to play it cool (he's failing) but he can only forcefully do so much to look okay when he was unable to hold himself together until he got back to his room in the first place.

Shit.

He really hates this. ]

—Nothing! Nothing, I'm fine!

[ That would sound more snappy if he had his breath back, but it comes out weaker than intended. And the way his expression shifts, mouth dipping, makes it clear that even he knows how bullshit that came out. So he amends, still trying to make it sound not as bad as just 'I'm freaking out a little'. ]

... Just, dizzy. [ A small tilt of his head to bring attention to the bandage that covers one of his eyes. ] My depth-perception's fucked up like this.

[oiorpata]

[ unfortunately for yzak, andy knows exactly what she is witnessing. she's wandering in and out of the infirmary if only to help anyone that might need the help moving in or out themselves, but despite being covered in blood, she has no reason to get checked out herself. she's heading out for a change of clothes when she stumbles upon yzak in the hallway, and she debates for a moment whether or not to slip by and leave him to it. ]

[ but she can't quite bring herself to. ]

Hey. You should sit down.

[coordination]

[ Being perceived like this is exactly why he was trying to get to his room in the first place. Because it just triggers a panic to try to be cool on top of what he's already being hit with because he's so god damned stubborn. Yzak usually has his shit together pretty well, but ... the end of this mission completely sucked to put it the absolute lightest.

So when Andy speaks, his head snaps up - he's not crying though he looks like he's having a hell of a fight not to. And just as snappy as he looks up, his voice, still somewhat breathless, replies: ]

—I was on my way to!

[ There's the slightest shift in expression when he notes the way she's covered in blood, a flash of concern that actually does help pull him out of his own mind for a couple of beats.

But then he looks away and down, grimacing. ]

I just got ... dizzy. Vertigo. My wound.

[ Absolutely a true story and nothing else is wrong here at all. ]

[bijective]

[The entire endeavour down in Scorpion’s Bend was a harrowing experience. None like the bombastic tension from a crumbling skyscraper in Braccia or the corrupt royal blood in Gyeongje. The spirit of a lone man, yearning for the return of his loved ones, left to the dust and soot of the desert planet.

Hermann’s visit to the infirmary is quick. In and out so that they can care for the rest of the crew. The mechanic whirs against his ears are a welcomed sensation. No longer at the mercy of the two suns and a lack of a proper air cooling system. His footsteps down the halls of the station are cautious, feeling the blisters underneath the balls of his feet. A proper shower will do the trick.

It is then that he notices a figure squatting down by the window. He can spot that shade of white hair from a mile away, listening to the slight hitches in his breath.

Well aware that it isn’t his place to disrupt Yzak being absolutely vulnerable, and yet he cannot seem to find it in his heart to let the young man go at this by his lonesome. So Hermann tries something he picked up from his days teaching the young (now perished) students in Scorpion’s Bend: He carefully kneels to Yzak’s side and gently rests his hand shoulder. And if the young Gundam pilot wishes to, he can fall in for a hug.]

[coordination]

[ When that hand falls on his shoulder, Yzak's head snaps up immediately, stubborn reactiveness kicking in and trying to override everything else. And by now Hermann knows how strong that stubbornness is; there's a quick, deeper intake of breath, Yzak's hand likewise snaps up to grab at his arm - but when he realizes it's Hermann, the actual grab isn't as rough as it was about to be.

Shit.

Someone he likes or not, his opinion about being seen like this stays the same - he's not here for it! So he's trying to play it off - badly - but still in hopes that it will be politely ignored. ]

I'm ... just tired!

[ #nailedit ]

[morethan084]

[Daisy's on her back to her room when she spots him, looking around to see if there are others nearby she then makes her way over to him. Having dealt with panic attacks of her own before, it's easy to assume that's likely what's going on with him now.]

Hey.

[She doesn't touch him but she does crouch down a little,]

Why don't we sit for a second?

[coordination]

[ Sometimes you just experience a death/rezz of someone you're having serious feelings for after dealing with desolation and malnutrition for longer than you'd ever like. It happens!

Yzak immediately tenses when he hears Daisy's voice, bullheadedness reflexively kicking in because he really doesn't want to be seen like this. His head snaps up, no tears or anything to further humiliate him, but he still doesn't look great.

He doesn't say yes or no, but he's not moving, as he answers. ]

I'm good. I'll be fine.

Using too much Charter magic ... it's draining.

[ Yeah that's totally all it is, buddy. ]

For Blue

[coordination]

[ You know what's worse than feeling some pretty powerful attraction to a dying psychic? Actually watching him die. Twice, even. Twice, and yet despite everything (and mostly thanks to Sabriel) here Blue is, still alive somehow! A good thing, if not traumatic for Yzak who had to feel his hand slip slack from his, watch his breath stop, body still, as if it were some sick preview of what to expect in the future that he didn't need nor ask for.

(a reminder, because he did choose to go down this path, after all, what else did he expect?)

((maybe he's the type who still hopes beyond hope anyway, because if he keeps down this path it's only going to get worse))

That said, while Blue rests in the infirmary, Yzak is there a lot. Not JUST for him, but absolutely a great deal for him, in case he wakes, he has no shame there. He don't give a fuck, after that! He's sitting at a chair at his bedside right now, one hand with uneasy, fidgeting fingers drumming against the armrest while the other thumbs through a thin book about ethnology in his lap that he's only half taking in, because he's trying to stay busy (distracted) with something. ]

[firstroar]

[he may not be cleaned up from the dust and drama of the mission, but being on IV fluids for the couple days it takes to rehydrate and start to recover does bring a bit of haleness to the Mu's features, looking less on the precipice of death as he had in those moments leading up to the finding of Ford.

the exhaustion, anger, and misery of the outcome hangs in the station (and infirmary in particular) like a miasma, making it difficult for Blue to resurface from lucidity - to say nothing of the on-again off-again flickerings of his own psionics, making his sleep that much heavier upon him.

when he does come to, he's brought to the surface by the thrumming of anxiety nearby; Blue's eyes slowly blink open before he draws a slow breath, breathing it back out with a faint sound in his nose.]

[coordination]

[ Blue's very own anxiety-powered Coordinator alarm clock. And the Coordinator part means that his ears pick up on that slightly different-sounding draw and exhale of breath, so Yzak's eyes quickly move from the book in his lap to Blue himself.

...

Finally. And thank goodness. Even though Blue was pulled back to life, Yzak wasn't sure of the extent of the damage done to him, if he'd even wake up at all. The last couple of days? Have not been great for him in that regard! That much will be obvious to Blue (or, will it?), even though his expression tries its best to not very clearly reflect that - but it still reflects clearly enough, because Yzak is just like this.

The buzz of anxiety and relief mix together as Yzak gives him a couple of moments to wake and at least orient himself before he speaks, voice quiet because he does remember where he is for a change, edged with that anxiety yet because Blue's awake, but that's still a pretty low bar to clear. ]

Blue...

For Athrun

[coordination]

[ So not only would Valentine's Day be depressing for the station already since it's literally the day after their return and half the crew is either in the infirmary, malnourished, traumatized, or a mix of any of those, but even if their mission had gone well, today wouldn't exactly be great for Yzak or especially Athrun anyway! Because today is more well known as the Bloody Valentine where they're from, the event that prompted many of them, Yzak included, to enlist in the military. Athrun, too, for a more personal reason considering he lost his mother there. So from that alone, Yzak would be here.

BUT, the mission did in fact suck! Not to mention that Athrun is also most likely still dealing with that final confirmation that Cagalli really is gone now that they're back. And honestly, Yzak himself needs a distraction - Blue is still unconscious, resting in the infirmary, Sabriel isn't doing well, his injury still stings, he's pissed off at this latest orb and what it said to them (a good show? Literally fuck you). He doesn't know what else to do with himself right now to get his mind to stop running in circles.

So his focus moves to Athrun, because he's probably in his room moping by himself and needs a distraction, too. He knows how he is! (and he might be! a little! concerned!)

Yzak knocks. ]

Open up.

[ He's got a small box tucked under his arm, voice casual but with that firmness he always has. ]

[egraegis]

It isn't locked.

[Athrun's answer comes after a few moments of quiet, lost in whatever he'd been up to. The door will open without issue when Yzak tries it, and he'll find the room dimly lit, with Athrun kneeling on the floor in front of a makeshift shrine pieced together with a set of stools and whatever he'd managed to scrape up to make it look decent and respectful. A few candles are burning in an arrangement around the center, with incense filling the room with a subtle scent. He has no photos here, no imagery of the losses they'd suffered back then or even now, so in the center of the shrine is his ZAFT jacket, folded up with the emblem facing upwards. It isn't much, but it's the best he can do.]

[coordination]

[ As he's opening the door: ] Anybody can just walk right in and hassle you, like this!

[ And somebody just did! (though he !!OBVIOUSLY!! didn't mean himself when he said that)

Once Yzak steps in - thankfully free of a full on bandage on his face, just a couple of steri strips over the wounds near his eye by this point - he pauses as his gaze fall on the set-up.

Ah.

A few beats of silence, before his voice, almost reflexively drops a little (for now). ]

... I shouldn't be surprised, that you did something like this.

[ He wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't this. ]

anotha

[firstroar]

[the price of renewal... cost owed to the orbs for Sabriel's efforts. Blue may never understand magic, but it's about as good an explanation as he's likely to get. the matter of undoing the damage, though? that's for whatever i get from viveca thread.

at least now the panic is over - doubly so as the return of his psionic senses settles in like an old, familiar coat around him. Blue doesn't tremble or recoil, and instead has...embraced something of shame, in a way. he's never been sorry for his gifts, only what cost they came at and the divides they created between himself and those without. having been without was...jarring.

people really do just...live in their own heads like that. he knows, he can sense it. but to have experienced it in the silence of himself...

terrifying.

thank goodness for company.

it may seem showoffy, but telekinetically nudging the pieces of the chessboard on his side is just that much more reassurance that he's not utterly lost for good - and any time Yzak tsks at the sight is comforting in an amusing way; Blue's so glad he can sense the vibrancy of his thoughts and moods again.

and besides: Yzak did say he'd be up to challenging himself against a psychic, so...that comes with the telekinesis. Blue sits on the edge of his bed near the headboard, hands propping him up on either side of him, legs dangling over the edge while Yzak sits parallel in the seat so often occupied by a shinobi.

this company will do just fine, though.]

YEA

[coordination]

[ Blue's not the only one relieved about his senses returning. Yzak doesn't have to be a psychic himself to tell how every moment, even the calmer ones after the initial panic passed were agonizing for him. But Blue's explained it before, it's an extra sense for him, and losing something like that... Not to mention becoming accustomed to it himself over time, Yzak can better imagine that a sense that connects to others so deeply would hurt to lose. Because even non-psychic connections to him are so important.

Still, it's odd. Yzak asked him once, to share what he was thinking, feeling, to put them on more even ground because he's so constantly seen in every way by Blue. And now that he occasionally lacks his psionics ... that puts them exactly where Yzak'd like, yet this wasn't how he imagined it. And it doesn't feel as good this way.

That being said, Yzak did take the opportunity to offer his presence any time Blue's powers flickered out, just an earpiece call away. And he did in fact get to teach him the basics of the game - though not going easy on him at all at the start because Yzak himself never wants that. It gives one the determination to learn so they can catch up. At least when he teaches, he's humble, whereas is he were playing against Athrun and annihilated him he would gloat like nobody's business.

Blue playing against him with his psychic powers is sure different, though. He can only think ahead so much ... because planning one or two moves in advance means he can simply read it and move accordingly to ruin it. So when Yzak makes his moves, he has to make them fast, without plan but still with some consideration. Still, he's good at chess, he's not a Major because he has bad split-second judgment, either. Strategy and action in the moment is something he can pull off. But the balance is still something he's getting used to like this.

His thoughts as a result are speeding around.

Pawn there, rook there, some openings available. But if I move my rook there—

Damn it, no! Don't think ahead! Just move! Move something!

Move... move...

The knight!

Here! ]

Mmmmmmmmmmghh...!

[ Strained little noises leave him as he makes a move, looking over the board.

... Another problem is that when he looks at the board, he looks to see what openings Blue has, which ... basically helps him, too.

Shit I need to start looking away from the board after every move fuck. ]

[firstroar]

[Blue's eyebrows lift, watching Yzak struggle with this new obstacle he's set up for himself in the Mu's regard. he's already been assured multiple times this is fine, and yet the suffering persists.

does...Yzak enjoy this kind of pain...? interesting.

in a bid to be helpful:] Should I focus my attention on something else while you take your turn? I could grab one of the books you lent...

For Bones!!

[coordination]

[ After those few days pass where Bones is properly back on his feet and back to work, and Yzak himself is also in better spirits, he seeks the doctor out one day at the infirmary as suggested. After the last mission, he wanted to check in on everyone, especially after that whole ... not really eating thing.

Which didn't really take much of a toll on Yzak. Not only was he with the third group that arrived on Badrock, but being a Coordinator means he was able to withstand that better than a baseline human. So he has no lingering effects or troubling health concerns.

He's also here because while the injury he picked up right after the town's illusion shattered is healed enough that he doesn't require any additional care (it'll just scar), he figures he'll make complete sure of that for his own peace of mind. ]

Doctor McCoy?

[ He calls out after he peeks in to make sure he's not busy with a patient that might still be in the infirmary or anything else. ]

lol

[coordination]

[ Downtime after that last mission was greatly needed! However, all good things must come to an end before the start of a new month and eventually, a new mission. But before whatever adventures and potential bullshit await them all, Major Yzak Jule is on another kind of mission.

Or rather, he will be shortly, as right now he's going through his regular motions of the day. Wake. Breakfast and coffee. Choosing between some training exercise or some reading (he picks reading today). Lunch. And at some point, checking in with a certain withering space psychic to see what he's up to. ]

Blue? Where are you?

[ He tries to reach out with his mind first. ]

[firstroar]

Hello, Yzak.

[thankfully, psionics have flickered back! it was only a few minutes ago, which makes Yzak's call that much more reassuring an occurrence.

where is he? honestly...only three options at this stage: infirmary, sun room, his room.]

I am in my room currently. You are welcome to visit, of course. [because he is not stuck in the shower, nor is he entirely unconscious! just sitting up resting.]

[coordination]

[ Only a 1/3 chance of getting a horrible answer to that question! ]

Do you need anything?

[ Every now and then Yzak has taken to hitting him up to see if he needs something; glass of water? A book? Game of chess? To simply bask in Yzak's presence? (or, you know, help because he's fallen and he can't get up) ]

Sabriel! ♥

[coordination]

[ On the 14th (since the 13th was busy with mild freak-outs and trying to rest), Sabriel will get a light knock at her door. ]

It's Yzak.

[ Theoretically he could wait longer to come see her. But Yzak ain't like that. Once he's collected himself, his next priority is seeing her.

... he's actually got a lot to do today. But the rest can wait for now. ]

[bindsthedead]

Come in.

[Sabriel looks... well, like a wreck. She's on her bed, trying and failing to read a book.]

You... want to talk, don't you. About what happened.

[Because 'resurrecting the dead' is something that raises questions, even if you already admitted to being a necromancer.]

[coordination]

[ He steps in, unsurprised to see her like this. That doesn't stop his mouth from dipping into a deeper frown, though, as the door shuts behind him. ]

Only if you want to.

[ Yzak moves across the room, either leaning against the nearest wall or taking a seat in a chair next to her - whichever is closest. (because he is a gentleman and would never assume to even sit on the edge of a lady's bed!) ]

But first and foremost I wanted to see how you were doing. Even though I'm sure I can guess.

[ It wasn't hard to assume before he came, and it's clear now anyway! ]