ximilialog | Feb Log

[Blue watches him, admiring the way in which Yzak's thoughts shift and work in tandem with his curious and competitive nature and mood.]

So you're thinking...it's a challenge you're keen on taking on yourself. [or subjecting Athrun to in order to goad? por que no los dos.]

Exactly! I'll take on any challenge to better myself!

[ He says that, a little too loudly for being in an infirmary with sleeping and recovering people. One of the little cleaner bots turn, rolling over to Yzak and bumping against his foot. ]

—Hey!

[ And then it rolls away with a low little hum that almost sounds like a 'shhh'. Yzak's face twists, scowling, but embarrassed because he just got owned by a tiny robot. ]

[the abruptness startles Blue a bit, and he brings his other hand to his face to shield his smile for a moment - but only for a moment.]

A challenge...better faced in another place, I think.

[ He SAW THAT. ]

Obviously...!

[ After sending a parting glare to the machine, he looks back at Blue. And ... drops his voice some, eventually moving to thought so he doesn't get chastised again. ]

So, you should consider learning how to play! I'm a great teacher.

... though, I guess Athrun wouldn't be a bad stand-in, if I'm ever busy. [ Plus, he thinks, if only he gets better and Athrun doesn't, that won't be fun anymore, to lack an actual challenge in him. ]

Take my word for it, it's a great way to pass the time and to really put one's mind to work.

I believe you. [Blue's expression warms with fondness as he sends the hushed thought back, squeezing Yzak's hand again, enjoying that moment for a beat before he's reminded again of where they are.]

...Would you help me? Get out of here. If I have to lie down somewhere...I'd rather it be in my room. [with those snowflakes and the windchime.]

I'd prefer the same in your position. [ He's technically been in that position before, bouncing as soon as he felt good enough to finish what rest he needed in the comfort and privacy of his own room.

There's a touch of worry that Blue's moving around too soon after waking up, with those injuries. But the station is small, the walk isn't bad, and like he just said ... he gets it. ]

So, sure.

[ That squeezed hand gives a small warning tug before it draws away and Yzak can stand up properly and help him as needed. ]

[it's not really even a dig on the infirmary's current convalescing residents, either! Mu enjoy the company of others, after all...but it's the setting that stinks. the tubes, the monitors, the oppressive feeling of being out of control of your own body...

at least elsewhere Blue can pretend.

once he's gotten help getting his legs over the side of the bed, Blue peels off and pulls the IV needle out - not very gracefully or painlessly either, given how he sharply hisses at the sting and quickly clutches his hand to stamp out the pain. he shakes his head while he exhales to stave off any spiking concerns - it's fine - before reaching to take the help needed to get on his feet, something more staggering an effort than simply pulling on things is.

his body feels like lead to his senses, and he has to lean heavily on Yzak to stay upright. still, he has to do this, he knows; the longer he doesn't, the more ability he loses!]

Let's go, then...

[ There is a spike of concern- it's less even about the sting from the IV being yanked out as much as it's just a visceral reaction to seeing Blue respond to it, hearing the hiss he lets out, still all too emotionally raw himself from what he recently had to witness that he can't help it.

But like the sting, it passes, and Yzak holds his arms out to help Blue climb to his feet, brings one leg back to brace himself a little when Blue leans so hard against him - though really, despite that he doesn't really feel much of that weight difference. Careful that he's not accidentally brushing or hitting the areas the other was shot and grazed, his hands are gentle yet stable while he nods and lets Blue ready himself to start moving.

And when it comes to actually moving, he'll let Blue lead, taking his own movement as cues to keep him supported. ]

[he can't help some of those little wounds he causes in simply being frail, in being determined to move; he can't safely make himself walk any faster, be any sturdier... Blue knows he leaves little wounds in Yzak's heart because of all he lacks and will keep lacking in, but it makes his steadfast presence all the more valuable and worth holding onto while he's here to hold it.

the windchime tinkles faintly when the door opens, and light catches off some of the glitterbombed paper snowflakes pasted around the room. it's already a comforting sight - these little gifts and signs of love from the people he loves so dearly - and Blue exhales with a bit of relief in crossing the threshold.

while being helped to sit down on the bed:] Would you stay? A little longer. Or are there others to see right now.

[ He answers as he leans to set Blue down lightly. ]

I have no immediate plans.

[ He's all yours Blue.

And Yzak notes how much more relaxed Blue looks once he's back in his room. He understands, having felt the same way when he got back to his own. (after, you know, he sat there and just blue-screened for a while) ]

Much more familiar and comfortable than that shit we had to deal with, huh. [ Rooms and inns that were just illusions for the dirty, uncomfortably disgusting setup they had to make do with. ]

Much.

[that said, he does insist on having Yzak sit next to him, but even if he doesn't, he's going to manage to pull him close enough so he can wrap his arms over his shoulders.]

I'm sorry. For scaring you. I do that quite often, it seems...

[ He barely needs the insistence - once Blue simply asks him to stay, he's ready to settle down and does so easily next to him. Because after the last few days he is ready for a hug. (or rather, specifically, a Blue hug) ]

... it's not as if it's your fault or like you're aiming to do that on purpose.

[ It feels surprisingly good, too good, to feel those arms around him after those moments where he had to consider that he never would again. His own arms move to carefully slip around Blue's waist, and he doesn't wind them too tight because pulling him all the way in would probably hurt. Those words are muttered against his shoulder as Yzak dips his head down against it. ]

Mno, but even so... [even so.

he sighs, resting one hand against his neck, under his hair, tilting his head against Yzak's. embraces like this have become more sustaining than food or water to him - just being able to better impress some bit of the connection he feels innately onto someone who doesn't means he's done something other than decay.]

I told you before. I wanted to find out...how to make you happy. Remember? Not hurt.

[ He turns his head slightly so his voice is muffled less, frowning. ]

Of course I remember, I have a great memory...!

[ Not to mention this entire mission just sucked. Is anybody better off, after it? Yzak doubts it.

...

Well okay he got a couple of not so bad things out of that mission. It's why he's sitting here, like this now. But it still sucked otherwise! ]

You've ... done that plenty already. R-right now, too. [ Here it comes, that small bit of flustering, even though he's still got his head pressed against Blue's shoulder so he can hide it. (his tone totally gives him away though) ] Way more than anything that hurts!

That kind of thing just ... happens anyway. I think there are even a bunch of sappy ass quotes about it.

[at that fuss, Blue gently rubs at Yzak's back a little in an effort to be soothing. he's grateful for it - that admission, the honesty...even the struggle it takes to admit at all. the effort matters.]

Are there? [with a gentle, amused tone:] I don't think I know them.

I wouldn't mind hearing them.

[fuss and all.]

[ He had to open his big fuckin mouth didn't he.

He hears that amusement in Blue's voice, too. He knows what's going on here. Yzak's face heats up more, a tiny little strained sound in his throat. ]

I don't know them verbatim! Okay? But things like ... caring at all makes your heart vulnerable to hurt just as much. Two sides of the same coin; you can't have just one without the other. The more you— care about someone [ He almost said That Other Word. ] the more it hurts if they leave you or if you see them in pain ... that kind of shit, and I bet there are a million more of them!

[ #soromantic ]

[romantic indeed! the lengths at which Yzak goes for Blue's sake - so many different avenues and causes where his pride and heart are on the line... Blue can't help but be endeared and grateful.

as Yzak explains, Blue eases his hold and pulls away to look him in the eye, which may or may not KO the poor guy. he smiles, wearing his affection plainly; the hand that was on his back has drawn up and now rests on his shoulder.

with a gently quirked eyebrow:] No light without shadow, right?

[ Blue is out here choosing violence. ]

Yeah ... that, too.

[ His pride and heart get intimidated by the stupidest shit, but at the very least Yzak is too stubborn to ever let himself look like a complete coward, so ends up ... here, as a compromise.

Though right now, he can gaze back at him without much of a KO because he's just relieved that Blue's still here at all. ]

You get what I mean, then! So, don't worry so much about it.

[ Easier said than done, even he knows that. One of his own arms unwind from his waist to come up, giving him a light flick to the side of his head, soft against his hair. ]

And instead remember that I obviously want that too!

[the flick is something of a surprise, not used to being handled so playfully by Yzak of all people... but it's not a bad surprise. he double blinks, then smiles again, a light laugh in his voice:] That's true; I'd know better otherwise, wouldn't I.

[not unless his powers vanished which HA HAAAAAAAA why would that happen.]

[ HAHAHA WHY INDEED!!

Also look, if he manhandles Blue like, say, Athrun or Dearka, that would not end well for Blue's frail-ass body, especially right now. This is a middle-ground. It's not playful, it's serious emphasis for his serious words that should only be taken seriously. ]

You should.

[ Yzak lets his hand briefly rest there against his head, fingers curling into soft hair. ]

[Blue's expression sobers a little, still soft and affectionate, but aware of the insistence Yzak means to convey. he tilts his head against that hand. he likes having fingers in his hair - Physis, James, Yzak... it's nice. comforting.]

I do. [he closes his eyes.] You won't have to worry...about your sincerity being lost on me. I can feel it.

[ He's silent for a few moments, staring at him. He's calmer, Blue seems more at ease now that he's resting somewhere familiar again. They're out of that infirmary, alone now, thus Yzak doesn't have to Be Weird about PDA ... so he leans in to kiss him. Gentle, but fringed with echoes of that relief borne of anguish that he can do this, as fingers more thoroughly comb through Blue's hair as he tips his head into his hand. ]

Good.

[the kiss meets no resistance - just the faintest hesitation in accepting it and the pleasant flutter it causes in him. Yzak may be right and justified in treating him like porcelain, but Blue still presses in a bit more certainly if only to make a point: he's here and wants his attention...even if he's still quite drained and only able to accept so much.

so it's only a handful of gentle kisses he can supply before he has to withdraw a little, lingering by way of resting cheek to cheek, bangs and eyelashes grazing Yzak's skin, not willing to completely break the spell of the moment. it's too precious.]

[ Attention is exactly what he'll get when Yzak feels him press into the kiss a bit more firmly, returning it easily, eagerly, brief as it is.

But brief or not, he doesn't care because he's just glad he didn't lose him. It always feels like he's destined for that in some shape or form. So right now the way Blue's eyelashes and bangs brush against his warmed, reddened skin feels that much more prominent, every little sensation setting deep into his heart. He stays comfortably there for as long as Blue'd like - Yzak can feel the slight shift in the way he moves, knows he's still pretty tired. ]

[he can't sit up for too long before the weight and ache of weariness presses in too much. what - he thought he could be asleep two days, get up without stretching and march around a bit and just be fine? perish the thought.

with a sigh, he withdraws, head dipped low to obscure the disappointment in his expression before moves to lie down.]

Forgive me. Just a little while...

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