ximilialog | Feb Log

... Like you're the only one, there.

[ He mutters back, returning that with a less needy, more gentle (but still firm!) kiss. Same sentiment, only in Yzak's still choppy way of expressing it in words. He does hope Blue can adjust to this over time ... even if he still has a lot of adjusting to do himself, still.

Feeling lucky to know him back feels like an understatement. Where would he be now otherwise, if he hadn't? Still void of all of these feelings he barred himself from having. Glad for them now.

... he's also just a liiiiiiiiiiiittle selfishly glad Blue can't hear his thoughts right now. Because he idly wonders to himself, do Mu have their own kind of courtship rituals? Haha what a thought haha maybe he'll ask about that later haha maybe he's having this thought for a reason haha. ]

[it may still be daunting, but there's a different kind of comfort in connecting to Yzak in this way with the absence of psionics. trusting his heart to be true in action and word, believing in those convictions by merit of the past and present. losing himself this way now is...interesting: responses from Yzak are more of a guess and surprise one way or another, especially when Blue eventually parts and scoots back to lie down, keeping hold of Yzak's hand.]

Lay back with me?

[ Yzak hardly needs to be asked; when Blue shifts back and makes no move to let go of his hand, he twists himself and lets it easily be pulled along, as if magnetized.

Still, Yzak lets out an affirmative little sound and nods as he properly slides back to comfortably settle himself down next to him. He reclines onto his back, remaining there for now and turning his head to look at Blue. ]

Does it usually last long? When this happens. [ When the psionics flicker out. He doubts it's on a schedule, but wonders how often he's left with and without it. ]

[Blue shifts, turning himself to face him after pulling some covers over them in a faint echo of what Yzak did when they were last sharing the bed.

afterward:] ...I don't remember. Waiting out the last times, I...I can't tell how long they were. Some of them...I didn't think were really happening, but...they must've been.

[he unlaces their fingers to wind his arm across Yzak's waist and scoot closer.]

[ Yzak makes a few careful movements himself when Blue presses against him. Still on his back, he shifts up the tiniest bit, so one arm can wind under Blue's neck and around his shoulders to pull him in closer still, bring his head to rest on his chest (sorry for! the speeding heartrate!). He places his other hand over the arm around his waist. Even though he's shared space with Blue like this since they've been back at least once before, compared to Badrock ... he's glad to feel this warmth against him again. ]

Well. Hopefully it won't be for long this time.

[it doesn't take much coaxing to bring Blue in, his ear to that insane drumming in Yzak's chest. he draws a slow breath, letting it out just as slowly as he wills his body to relax out of the achy tension it involuntarily curls up into when left idle. his mouth quirks a bit when he feels the little reaction that comes from splaying his fingers along Yzak's side. it'd be better if it was just his skin, but this is fine enough.

he hums a gentle affirmative to the hope, hesitating before shifting a little again. he doesn't mean to have to fluff around, but he's an achy, bony person. eventually he shifts, propping himself up on both hands on either side of Yzak, smiling apologetically with a warm face. by now his hair's gotten some of its body back, but it's kind of mussy from the scattered handling.

his excuse for this:] I can't see you...like that. [so he lowers himself back down, slowly folding his arms on Yzak's chest and resting his chin atop them.] Is this alright? For a little while. [he'll inevitably get fidgety again.]

[ ........ cute.

Even if the way when Blue shifts and squirms, he can feel the occasional bony knee against his leg or elbow against his arm when he starts to settle himself down again. It's nothing to him, though, he simply accommodates, fine with it until Blue's comfortable.

That also just makes his chest hammer more, and he's back to his normal bullshit now, so he's going red. But once Blue's situated, he tips his his head down to look back at him, expression softer than usual. A hand comes up to rest in that slightly disheveled hair of his, the other resting on his lower back, still careful not to brush against an injury. ]

O-of course it's fine. However you want.

... for a long as you want.

[Blue smiles a little broader, face flush.]

Not too long, I think. When you touch my hair like that...it just makes me want to kiss you more.

[even without psionics he can be this blunt.]

[ This is feelings terrorism. Still red, one of those fingers in his hair twitch. ]

Like I'd ever stop you from doing that...

[ The hand doesn't move, though. In fact, his fingertips gently move in little circles against his scalp. This smooch house is open for him 24/7. ]

Hmh...

[he closes his eyes, tilting his head a little toward the touch, almost akin to a happy cat. the tingles it sends down his spine, even under the weight of that other arm...it's nice. safe. even in the absence of intention, the intent is still there. this is just...how humans interact fully.

or should... he can't say anything like this gets around to happening in such a sterile society curated by efficiency-minded machines.

that notion's far from the forefront for now, because eventually Blue does unfold his arms to scoot in and kiss him again, feeling his own chest tighten with the feeling.]

[ Even though Blue can't feel it the normal way, hopefully he can feel through Yzak's ease now that he's glad he seems to be feeling a little better despite his psionics going on the fritz.

He pulls in a deep breath and melts into the kiss with a tender reciprocation. Though, he thinks to himself, it is a little wack that the psionics being out means they can't talk like this.

Still, Blue being, staying content is more important than that, so Yzak's willing to help there how he can. Maybe he is able to do something after all. ]

[yes, it is wack. no banter or commentary mid-makeout? tragic. it's not a complete killjoy to be sure, but still!

there's a benefit to being so light in this case, so laying partly atop him like this is so inoffensive, which means more makeout time and everyone wins. Blue's slender fingers glide and curl against the sides of Yzak's neck, but don't roam too far this way or that while his arms are locked in to keep him upright atop him.

eventually a parting for breath and some accidental bumping of noses here and there leads to a couple apologetic-but-playful kisses at his cheek and chin before trailing along his jaw and to his neck juuust to mix it up.]

[ It's barely close to a killjoy at all. But at least it's the only thing Yzak himself lacks here, so he's not even very fussed - how can he be, like this? He knows Blue is lacking a lot more in comparison right now ... still, his actions feel like he's at least pepped up a little bit. Enough that Yzak's lips ever so slightly quirk upward despite himself, barely realizing it, part relieved that Blue seems a bit better, part relieved that he feels like he's helping with that.

On the subject of happy cats, the attention to his neck from both strokes of Blue's fingertips and the softness of his lips get him to tip his chin up, letting out a contented little breath as fingers in his hair coil to reflect the feeling. This feels nice ... idly he wonders if Blue feels anything close to that resonance he mentioned earlier, like this, as different as it might feel. He knows he feels whatever form of it he can. ]

[one finger-curl too many and Blue shivers, squirming a little atop of him and puffing out a tickled breath against his neck.]

That must really...be my weakness... The feeling makes me...excited and drowsy...at the same time, somehow.

[perhaps it's not so strange: Physis used to stroke his hair to help him relax whenever he had a headache or was particularly low. it stands to reason that such care here would still translate in a familiar way, even in new circumstances.]

[ Yzak is filing this bit of information away for future use.

He feels that shiver against him, and for now the movement ceases. He's a little unsure if he should keep that up in that case - Blue couldn't even stand up in the shower earlier! Yzak is trying to be considerate! Though after a moment of quiet where he simply enjoys the heat of that breath against his neck, he asks: ]

Do you want more of it...? I'm not sure which out of those two you're feeling more - or even prefer to be, right now.

[he knows what he would prefer, but he knows he's already at a limit; he's exhausted.

after a faint hum:] I may just... fall asleep. If that's alright. Even if... I'd rather not.

It's hard. Staying awake. [his eyelashes flutter closed against Yzak's skin as exhales, willfully relaxing again and going still.]

Of course it's alright. [ Softly, but also like, duh. HE'S A GENTLEMAN. He had no specific intentions coming here, anyway, aside from just satisfying this yearning for Blue's company. ]

... We probably still have a bit of downtime before our next mission, anyway. [ An offer, because yes, he is down with doing this again, coming over. As many times as Blue wants, he doesn't even care if Blue shows up at his door out of nowhere, he just ... likes this feeling.

Really likes this feeling.

Yzak simply keeps his hand gently on Blue's head when he relaxes. Once or twice he'll slowly, idly, run his hand over his hair not to coax but to soothe. ]

Feb Log

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