ximilialog | Feb Log

Little by little. But I may hit a threshold soon... [his eyes flick down to the board as well.] I don't have very good foresight in my own regard; I tend to sacrifice myself more than defend.

[fitting, really: it's how he'd fight, thrusting his power outward to spare others the need to.]

I prefer to opt for more of an offense myself, in hopes of a quick win. But depending on your opponent, it gets easier to read their playstyle and adjust accordingly as a game goes on.

[ He nods to himself as he speaks, and then uncrosses his arms almost right away since now he wants to consider the game they just played. ]

I think I remember you moved like this... [ Here's a fun bullshit chess strategy explanation that is in-depth and makes so much sense, as Yzak points around the board. ] See? If you'd done that, you wouldn't have lost the knight, which could have helped you here.

Knowing the places where you lack is a good thing. It means you can keep it in mind and work on it!

[Blue nods, both listening...and not entirely listening? rather, his focus is skewed more toward Yzak and the act of explaining than the details kept within. what can really be said: he's just more invested in Yzak than a board game!]

Later, rather than sooner... I think I have reached my limit of strategy for a little while. I hope you don't mind. But I am glad...for the opportunity.

[ He is a lot cuter to look at than a chess set, it's true. ]

Whenever you'd like to play again, just contact me. In either case, [ Yzak speaks as he starts to clean up and put the pieces away. ] if you do end up ever playing with Athrun in this way, I want to hear all about how you kicked his ass the first few times! ... and how long it takes him to come up with a way to play against you like I just did. [ So he can compare, and then gloat if he figured it out faster. ]

[Blue leans a bit to the side to rest his shoulder on the headboard, relaxing his weight off his hands and resting them in his lap.]

He'll have the same forewarning...as you did. And the disadvantage...of some of the experience I've gained facing you.

If he's as good as he claims to be [ He has not claims about this at all. ] then I'm sure he can catch up! I'm not slowing down for him.

[ All haughty hot air as he finishes gathering the rest of the pieces and putting them away. Yzak then grabs for the board to fold it up and slip it in next to them. ]

There.

[ He's feeling pretty pleased after getting his competitiveness satiated like this. ]

[all the while, Blue is just...smiling at him. y'know. just peacefully chilling in the moment, trying to impress it into his lasting memory.

an observation:] You've been very kind. For spending so much time with me.

I'm grateful, you know.

[ He pushes the box to the side on the table, and sends a glance back to Blue.

Stares back at him.

Looks the slightest bit nonplussed at his words all of a sudden. Random kind words like that still hit him the same way. ]

I did tell you I'd come by if you wanted.

...

And it's not like I mind it at all myself.

[ I prefer it, even. ]

[a little color makes it to Blue's face, pleased by what is said and unsaid.]

I'm glad. I wouldn't classify myself as...very engaging company. But I'm glad you don't mind.

[ Almost like a chain reaction, he too starts to go red because Yzak can't help a few more thoughts slip by when he thinks about it. They just spent, what, like nearly a month and a half in each other's company? Especially most nights? And then a bit of that sharing a bed, even? He'd be lying if he said he didn't get used to that, especially later on. That just got him all the more attached to Blue after he realized he felt ... this way he felt for him. So now when he goes to sleep he can't help but think about how it's not as comfortable or warm there without Blue next to him and oh god he's starting to think like some kind of ridiculous romance novel please somebody stop him.

He tries to stop himself because god damn it why do thoughts like this just happen without him being in any control of them!? He blurts out loudly as if it's going to somehow drown all of those thoughts out: ]

It's fine you're fine!

[given the speed of Coordinator brain and the penchant to fluster, Blue startles and sits up a little, blinking a few times in the face of the psionic blowback and volume, hand over his heart. goodness.

blinkblink. much of that was too fast to catch, too! how can Blue know what's being brushed off so aggressively this way?]

Are you...sure? I think I...hit a threshold here...

[ Quickly: ] I'm sure!

[ And then, slower: ] I'm sure.

[ He barely even needs the extra help to rile himself up like this, he's doing it on his own just fine at this point.

Redder now, he scrubs at his face and looks away because god, he's so embarrassing - why can't he properly handle feelings like this like he can so many other things? His heart just gets so overwhelmed when those sorts of thoughts bubble up, unused to intensity quite like this. ]

It doesn't matter to me how engaging someone is if I just like being [ close to ] around them, either way.

[Blue's smile softens, sympathetic. Yzak tries so much for his sake...struggling with his own feelings as much as the ones Blue brings forth so openly; the more credit Blue gives him, the more he flusters!]

I see. [with a little nod, letting his hand fall away to his lap.] I'm glad, then. I've gotten used to your company... It would've felt sad...if there was suddenly so much less of it, even though there's no more cover story to back it.

[ He can say that same thing so easily...

Though maybe that's a good thing here. Yzak is still coming down from that competitive high he loves to hit, so hearing Blue say those words makes that part of his brain kick in nearly automatically - whenever anyone does something better than he does, he has that want to raise his own level. So it seeps through the tiniest bit now. ]

Y-yeah... [ And it wouldn't just feel sad like Blue says, but ... lonely, too.

Hearing him agree, feel the same way that Yzak does ... that has an affect on him, too. ]

Thank goodness we don't need any ridiculous cover story anymore!

[ Because back on Badrock, that was the reason they had to spend that time together in the first place. He enjoyed it obviously. OBVIOUSLY. But it was obligatory, almost. Now, though... ]

Downtime here doesn't keep us that incredibly busy. [ Even though Yzak finds ways to busy himself. ] So I can come by any time. Even if it's just ... to sleep. Or anything simple like that!

[the smile broadens a bit, warmed by the assurance.]

After I clean up, then... [...] Though...you should eat, too. You've been here a while, right?

[ He blinks. ]

Really?

[ Already? Tonight? As if he didn't just make it completely obvious that it was something on his mind, something he was beginning to long for when he made that offer. ]

[slight headtilt.]

Yes, of course.

[ Here he is, somehow. Yzak Jule, once-elite soldier turned Major, leader, most likely soon-to-be rising politician, ~~war criminal,~~ getting jazzed over a sleepover. Despite all of those accomplishments, he's this excitedly needy over something like this. That's why it surprises even him to feel this way at all. ]

... Fine. Okay.

[ He stands up, maybe too quickly, grabbing for the box with the chess set in it, trying not to look as aflutter as he feels (but, he can't hide the feeling itself). ]

I'll do that! I ... need to return this, too. And I have a couple of other things I can take care of.

[ Clearing his throat again, he turns and moves to the door, but stops before he opens it, looking over his shoulder at Blue. Because he is still polite and Blue is still pretty limited when it comes to moving around. More than ... usual, anyway. ]

Do you need anything? Later, when I come back.

[Yzak's surprise and delight...it tickles at Blue, whose eyes crinkle and face colors with warmth.]

I should be alright, I think. No need for anything but yourself and...whatever you wish.

[though he may eat those words later when he's still sitting on a stool in the shower, mustering the energy to even get up safely. gonna need to install some railings in here...]

[ This turbovirgin energy will probably never leave him, so good thing Blue enjoys it!

He nods. ]

Alright.

[ He'll at least bring back a couple of water bottles later because, again, he is thoughtful! (even though making the decision to do that hurts a little, because he doesn't have to consider bringing Blue even a little something to eat) But he chills out for the rest of the evening when he has some dinner, goes to nosily see what Athrun's up to, heads back to his own room to take a shower himself, throws on something more casual than his uniform (which, for "casual" still means something like a button up and some slacks, too fancy for some simple t-shirts and sweat pants over here), and grabs his shit (like his soft pink pjs) before returning later.

Of course that whole time the back of his mind is still buzzing with a bunch of thoughts, both good and bad. Because this is ... nice, isn't it? Mutually reaching out and wanting the same thing without the attachment of something like a mission forcing it. (you seem pretty sure that you want to keep this up, huh?) Wondering what comes next, because at this point Yzak can hardly say he's still being pulled in. He wants to keep this, hang onto it. Keep going. (even if you feel more assured that you might not want to keep the plans laid out for you back home, this is still not going to be worth chasing later, one way or another)

... He's glad he's coming back here in the midst of these thoughts. Because he needs to feel more of that light to stave off the creeping darkness that tries to grow along with those feelings.

Once back, he knocks. Despite his presence being expected. Despite Blue not having a lock on his door. (... maybe he should kindly suggest one, even voice activated, h-hm,) ]

Hey. [ He reaches out. ]

[there's no answer to the knock, but the call is responded to eventually.]

Ah.

You can enter, Yzak. Please give me some time... I'm having a little difficulty.

[ ?????? ]

Difficulty? Are you okay?

[ He asks as he enters, expecting to see Blue.

He doesn't.

He hears the running water from the bathroom, though, which immediately gives him an answer to his own question. ]

Oh.

That's fine. Take your time.

[ He drops his stuff down on the end table, taking a seat in the chair next to Blue's bed.

Patiently. ]

[the water does get shut off because telekinesis, but Blue doesn't have enough telekinesis to hoist himself up. it just leaves Blue sitting there, a bit wearied by hot water and steam, rubbing at his wet face and watching water drain out under his feet.

were he alone, he could just...maybe...wait...get cold...but at least the floor would dry... he'll float a towel over to at least dry himself off where he sits.

after a few minutes, realizing the futility at-hand:]

I could...use a hand back to my feet. If you don't mind.

[ He turns his head to the bathroom door.

...

And he can't help but go red, even though he does reply, quickly, assured, because the Major Override to be of service kicks in within him. ]

I don't.

[ Yzak stands, and assuming the bathroom door is as unlocked as the entrance to Blue's room, he cracks the door open and peers in to let Blue know he's there before pushing it open to step in. ]

...Anything else?

[ While Uneasy Because He's Him (come on Yzak it's not anything you haven't seen before chill), he does take this chance to see how Blue's wounds are healing. ]

[Blue sits up a little, obscured and covered by towel and the way he's sat. he's still dappled with bruises - the most egregious being those impact sites from the bullets. it looks worse than it may actually be, given how thin and fair his skin is, but still...not the prettiest look.

while holding out his arm for the help up:] No, I just... Sorry. Getting back on my feet without slipping...

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