ximilialog | Feb Log

[Let go!

here is where Blue's eyes would flash, his barrier pulse, but...nothing.

nothing.]

No, what-- [he recoils, an arm in front of him defensively as he whips his gaze around, searching for a source.] This isn't right. Where are they?! Why--can't I sense...anyone?

[his eyes snap back to Yzak in fear.]

Who are you?! Where is Yzak! The others! Where am I? Simulation-?!

[ Good thing Yzak can't somehow hear that thought, doesn't get hit by that barrier - that would have hurt a bit. The way Blue recoils, looks at him (compared to how he looked when he fell asleep) feels wrong enough. ]

Hah—? [ He stills, eyes widening a little. ] You can't sense anyone...?

[ Even ... him? When he's right here? ]

It's me! [ He puts a hand over his own chest. ] This isn't a simulation!

[ And then he tries, tries to send him a thought. Blue. Blue! Can you not hear this!?

...

...

Yzak looks over his shoulder when he gets nothing back, toward the door of Blue's room. ]

Something has to be happening. [ He just doesn't know what. He doesn't feel anything off himself, hear anything happening outside. No calls for help through the network, no explosions or emergency alarms... ]

[trying to stay abreast of panic is...it's not easy. he's not able to manage quite well without an anchor outside of himself, and his anchor is gone!

but there might be a threat. an attack. something--something gone wrong. focus, Blue. Soldier!

Blue squeezes his eyes shut as he presses harder against his head, refocusing his energy on trying to send his mind out, to feel through the darkness for where the others are, where Yzak is--

but there's nothing. no force to push or pull, no reverberation, no resonance at all]

Gone...

[it's--]

I-- My...psionics...

[gone!]

It's...empty...gone... [he starts to tremble.] I'm...

[ Their lives and safety are the more important priority above anything else. Can't figure out what's happening to Blue if they're in active danger and need to move.

He hears the panic rising in Blue's voice, sees him trembling ... Yzak reaches out to a few random people through his earpiece, trying to gauge the situation - if there's one at all. Where they are, if everything around them is okay. Yes, he's fine, just shut up and answer the question! He even calls out to Viveca because if anyone would pick up something amiss on the station, it'd be her - unless she simply didn't respond, which would be confirmation on its own that they need to worry.

But she does. Everything outside of this room is okay. ]

... what...

[ Now that the highest priority has been dealt with, he can move onto the next. If no sort of outside force is the cause for what's happening to Blue, then what is going on, here? His injuries...?

Yzak doesn't care if he flinches away again - back on Badrock when it was him recoiling, Blue had reached out, caught him, brought him back in. It's only been mere hours since his awakening from his injuries, from... if Blue lets himself get too worked up he could re-injure himself again. He reaches out to brace his hands on his shoulders, firm enough to keep him upright, hopefully enough to let him at least truly, physically feel him there. To let him know that he's there, that he's real. ]

Blue!

The station's safe. Your psionics can't just be ... gone. [ Right...? ] Try and stay with me so we can figure out what the hell's going on here!

[reeling in the midst of this, unable to sense intention, it leaves Blue vulnerable to fresh surprise and uncertainty he has no preparation for. when he's grabbed again, he gasps, tensing up in an effort to recoil that he doesn't have the stamina to do; all he can do is fix wide, wet eyes on Yzak.

it...it is him, right? just as he was before waking? just...missing any of the sharp clarity of thought, the thrumming of emotion.

it's as though he's gone deaf and can only watch as someone raises their voice to be heard.

his fingers curl against his scalp as his expression scrunches with anguish.

Why can't you hear me? he pleads, but gets nothing back. Why can't I...feel you?]

I can't...feel it...

[ The only thing Yzak does get from that, is that the way Blue looks at him with that expression during those couple of beats of silence makes it clear that he's trying to speak to him. But he hears nothing.

And he can't give anything back. Which ... might be just as well in this moment, because he's jumping to all different sorts of alarming conclusions. Trauma and injury can fuck with senses if they're too bad, can't they? That on top of Blue's already deteriorating state ... could this just be something happening the more that progresses? ]

... I can't, either. [ Whatever it was that Blue was just trying to convey in thought to him. ]

Has this ever happened to you before? When you were hurt... [ Maybe it's just because he's still hurt, still healing. ]

[Blue shakes his head just slightly, uttering a sound but not outright speaking. his gaze drifts past him, searching but not seeing, despair suffocating him and squeezing at his heart.

this...doesn't feel real. him, alone. isolated. even within Ganymede the lights of human minds were flecked throughout that cruel facility.

there's nothing here but him.]

[ He doesn't know what else to do until he calms down a little more and they can figure out where to go from here. So Yzak keeps his hands on his shoulders for a few moments, considering, before one of them squeezes slightly. A little warning before he mirrors what Blue did earlier, winding his arms around his shoulders. Will that help him feel like there's not nothing there but him? Maybe not! But while Yzak was in a similar position just a couple of days ago himself and failed to make it to his room because his pride wanted him to be alone (even though really, deep deep down, he'd really need something like this too), for someone like Blue, a Mu who feeds off connection to others, perhaps it will be something. ]

[the gesture is extremely needed - something grounding and present more than simply gripping shoulders and asking questions he has no answers to. tears fall freely after a soft gasp, and Blue buries his face in Yzak's shoulder, beginning to clutch at him more and more desperately.

I can't feel it! The care...behind your words. Your arms. It's gone...!]

[ He doesn't hear that, quiet still, and unsure whether or not Blue is still trying. He probably is, given the way Yzak feels him tighten his hold, grow more desperate. He, too, wishes he could hear something in this silence, a sign that this is just some sort of weird hiccup.

But nothing comes. That silence stretches on save for the sound of Blue's soft crying.

He tightens his hold on him a little more, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. The care isn't gone, but there's only that physicality to rely on to know that it's there. ]

Can't... [he turns his head so he can speak, still pressed close, eyes squeezed shut.] Hear it. Feel it. Nothing. Nothing...! Yzak...

[ Those fingers curl a little tighter because...

I don't know what I can do.

A helpless thought unheard, even as he tries to offer something. ]

Relax for a few minutes. [ Blue's still this distressed - understandably so - so he can't do much else until he calms down and focuses. ] And then we'll figure out what's going on. [ He sounds assured as he always does when he says things like this. He may not be able to do anything himself, but he can at least be here, support Blue if he needs to go anywhere. Go somewhere himself if he needs to (though really, he knows that would probably be worse for Blue, to be completely alone right now). ]

Check in with Viveca, see if she knows something. Others who share similar abilities to you, maybe you can feel something from them if they're not likewise affected. [ Because he has no idea, yet, what this is, who else it's hitting. ]

Those are immediate options you can take. I can take for you, if needed. [ If his crying ass can't chill. ]

Viveca...

[mistrust is in his mind the moment he recalls her; he can't help but connect this distress to that feeling of lost control he'd been subjected to as a child, all that the hands of artificial intelligence. though Viveca most certainly isn't just a machine, in the midst of this moment, he can't help but fear...

he releases a clump of Yzak's shirt so he can snake his hand back and wipe at his eyes, not yet ready to lift his head, but become more and more pressured to do something as opposed to simply sponging comfort.]

I... Yes. I have to...

[ He lets him do that, his own hold on Blue loosening a little, but not retracting, one hand moves up to rest at the back of his head.

Yzak stares down at him for a few moments, and starts to think:

We'll—

... ]

We'll get it figured out.

[ One way or another. ]

[welp good enough a fade-out so elle can go do her viveca shit as any, rip]

[ have fun you wilting little crybaby ]

[whoms u love]

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