Open | RIP Sebastian + catch all

[singlelogbridge]

CHARACTERS: Wei Wuxian, a giant dead crab, and you!
LOCATION: The kitchen/mess hall
DATE: September 17th
CONTENT: Eating crabs
WARNINGS: None at the moment



A

[The day after their return from Xrisora, Wei Wuxian can be found having taken over one of the stoves in the kitchen. Lying on the counter next to him are two crab legs—that is, two giant crab legs from a Titan Crab. How did he get them here? It is a mystery. Anyway, he’s taken over a part of the kitchen with his crab shenanigans and is slowly but surely beginning to cook one of the legs up. After a while, he makes the executive decision to freeze a leg and a half because there is absolutely no way they’ll be able to eat all of it.

Anyway, he is cooking so much crab.

At some point he is absolutely burning some of the crab. Maybe someone can supervise? Please come save the crab.]

B

[Somehow, most of the crab gets cooked without being burned or ruined in some other way, which means it is time to season it! Do you like your crab spicy? Obviously you do, why wouldn’t you? Who doesn’t like spice? Only crazy people, that’s who!

Thankfully, Wei Wuxian is friends with Itachi which means he’s aware that some people on the station can’t handle spice. This means that most of the crab is boring and only has some melted butter on it, and absolutely zero eye searing red flakes and spices.

Everyone should help themselves to crab. Their options are terrible, boring, (perfectly fine) normal crab, or delicious, stunning, wonderful (hope you didn’t need your tastebuds or your esophagus!) spicy crab.]

C
[And at some point, a text across the network.]

I’m making crab!

[That’s it, that’s the text, he doesn’t have time for this network nonsense, his pan is on fire!]

D

[Wildcard it! Crab related or other!]

Comments

B

[laviny]

[Yelena is drawn to the kitchen by the smell of spicy. Real, spicy, hot spice. She’s intrigued. She can’t help it. When she gets there she is somewhat startled by the sheer amount of food.]

Holy shit, this is a lot of crab.

[Anyway, she is going to do her part in helping to consume it by heading straight for the spicy crab and grabbing some for herself. And she wastes literally no time digging in.]

Oh, yes. This is amazing.

[singlelogbridge]

[[In between cooking batches of the giant crab, Wei Wuxian takes breaks to cool down and rest his arms (cooking for so long is actually exhausting, who knew?) and also to see if people are actually eating it. So it's to his natural delight when he spots Yelena enjoying the only crab that matters and his face lights up in response.]

Thank you! It's good that way, right? So many people can't handle a little heat!

[laviny]

Yes, it’s perfect.

[She takes another bite, enjoying both the flavor and the heat.]

They can’t handle it because they are weak. Is that why you left so much unseasoned?

[singlelogbridge]

Yes! [Said in happy exclamation, an agreement and confirmation of her guess.]

I had to or else there's no way it would all get eaten. Glad to know I'm not the only one here with taste. [He winks.

And then because he's seen her around but never actually introduced himself.] Wei Wuxian, resident spice enthusiast.

[laviny]

Yelena Belova, spice and mac and cheese enthusiast.

[A beat.]

And vodka. And coffee.

[Another beat.]

And desserts.

[She is enthusiastic about a lot of things, actually.]

[singlelogbridge]

[He raises his brows at that list, a smile of interest already forming.]

Vodka? [He knows coffee and he definitely approves of desserts, but he hasn't heard of that one.]

[laviny]

Oh, you don’t know it?

[She supposes it’s not popular everywhere. And worlds without vodka exist.]

It is a distilled alcohol that is popular in Russia, where I am from.

A

[adept]

[ Yuri may have strolled right on by the kitchen, minding his own business, were it not for the distinct and unpleasant odor of something burning. It's enough to make him pivot and march right into the room, taking little time to spot what looks like... An enormous, smoking crab leg.

He stares in wide-eyed astonishment for a hot second before hurrying over and turning the burner down. At least in his tenure, he's learned how to work the appliances.

With that out of the way, he hastens to find something to handle this crab leg with. ]

I think you've got the heat a little too high, friend.

[ Yuri had no idea crabs even came in this size, but he certainly thinks he recognizes the section of limb for what it is. ]

[singlelogbridge]

[Wei Wuxian looks over at the newcomer from where he was busy melting some butter (what is paying attention to cooking? He's great at this, really) and his eyebrows go way up as he wanders back over, the smell of burnt crab finally reaching him.]

...huh. I guess I did. [He grins at Yuri.] Thanks! [And then begins to poke at the seared portions of crab. He should probably just throw it out, it's not like there's a shortage, but...]

What do you think, is this still edible? It's fine, right?

[adept]

[ As someone both loath to waste food and who prides himself on redeeming less than appealing ingredients, Yuri gives the question some honest thought. He eyes the crab critically with a hum. There's not much one can do about overcooked crab texturally, but... ]

The meat on the outside here's charred, and chances are it'll be rubbery to chew. But there's so much here, if we cut that away, some of it may be salvageable.

[ With the meat in the center taking the longest to cook, there's a chance at least. ]

Especially with this sort of thing, you want to keep a close eye on it once the color starts changing.

[ Just in case he needs to know for next time, of course. ]

[singlelogbridge]

[He listens to Yuri with interest, and quickly grabs a knife and cutting board, taking the charred pieces out and beginning to do as instructed. When it comes down to it, spicing tastes aside, he really isn't the worst cook in the world, he's just a somewhat forgetful one. Which is all to say that he slices that bad parts away with easy efficiency and what's left behind is perfectly consumable crab meat.]

Oh, you're right, that looks much better. [He beams at Yuri.]

Thank you. I don't suppose you want to help me with some of this? [He gestures to the mountain of crab he still has to cook behind him.]

[adept]

[ The way the guy handles a knife is enough to tell Yuri that he knows his way around the kitchen. This undertaking, he thinks, is just too much for one person to contend with. ]

I can give you a hand. I'm already here, after all. [ He smiles back, a lopsided thing, before glancing toward the meat. ] You planning to feed the crew?

[ The sheer volume of crab here is much more than one person could eat, and once cooked, it's best consumed straightaway. ]

[singlelogbridge]

What else could I do with all of this? [He laughs in response, vaguely gesturing to the massive amounts of crab. There's more in the freezer too—a lot more—but this is more than enough for now.]

You've been here a while, right? I've seen you. My name is Wei Wuxian. [He shoots the man a charming smile.] We haven't been introduced.

A

[bindsthedead]

No, not like that!

[Sabriel is using the crab shell to make a broth- but she leans over, leaving her own project simmering as she hastily pulls the crabmeat away from the heat.]

You'll burn it! Besides, isn't crab supposed to be steamed?

[Or smaller crabs are, at least. Sabriel's not sure about one that's bigger than a person.]

[singlelogbridge]

[He starts at her correction, moving out of the way for her as she pulls the crab away.]

Hey! [He pouts at her.] I couldn't find a steamer, will it really make such a big difference?

[Suffice it to say, he was not the cook in his family.]

[bindsthedead]

Yes, it will! Steaming helps keep the flavor. There's no point in cooking a crab if all you get at the end is something that just tastes burnt.

[Steamers, steamers.... sorts through the cabinets, tossing aside implements she'd only seen in etiquette textbooks, and some that she can't even imagine how to use.]

Can you keep an eye on the broth? I want to try making a bisque for Yzak.

[Steamers, steamers... wait, what's this? It's a steamer, probably made for cooking lobsters by the size of it.]

Will this work?

[singlelogbridge]

[He moves over to the broth and...stirs the pot. That's hopefully what she wanted out of this because he doesn't know what else it could be. When she calls out, he looks over and grins.]

Sure! [He would not know if it couldn't, but thankfully it does seem to be similar to the steamers he's familiar with.]

Do you do a lot of cooking, Sabriel? You're good at this aren't you?

[bindsthedead]

Well... I didn't, actually, before I came to the Ximilia. But there aren't any servants here, and there isn't that much need for magic between missions. So I decided I'd learn a useful skill.

[Especially since nannybot already did the cleaning. Sabriel fills the base of the steamer with water, before putting it on the stove.]

[singlelogbridge]

[Her answer generates a warm smile from Wei Wuxian and he nods in understanding.]

Certainly a good use of your time, and I'm definitely grateful. [And then, because it's one of the first things he's learned about her—not her magic or her world but just her—] Did you grow up with servants?

B

[oiorpata]

[ excuse her, what is that smell luring her into the kitchen? not that it's difficult, she goes into the kitchen on even the smallest whim, but it smells like real seafood - you know, the human kind, not the underwater varieties which were perfectly adequate but do not compare to the massive set up in the kitchen. ]

[ andy looks it over, then helps herself to some of the spicy crab. there's a lot of it, so she doesn't feel guilty about piling her plate. ]

[ does she use silverware to eat it? no way, are you kidding? she just picks up a piece with her hand and bites into it, humming with delight as she savors the taste and the burn of the spices. ]

Fucking delicious.

[singlelogbridge]

[Andy-dajie! He knew he liked you for a reason! Wei Wuxian slides into a seat across from her and grins, eyes bright with delight.]

It's good, right? So many people here can't handle just a little bit of flavor! What's the point of eating food that tastes bland and boring, we're people, not rabbits! [He pauses.] A giant metal men I suppose. [What even are the transformers, he doesn't know.]

[oiorpata]

[ andy just... loves food, so fucking much. and it's nice to taste the crab without saltwater. ]

[ she shoves another bite in her mouth, though she does chew and swallow most of it before she speaks up again. ]

Exactly. We eat the rabbits. And I know some people have to build up a spice tolerance, but it's not going to happen if they don't try it in the first place. [ she's just lucky for all the extra time she's had to simmer hers. ] I don't even know what the metal men eat. You made this, I'm assuming?

[singlelogbridge]

Exactly! [He half shouts in agreement, delighted to have found someone with similar tastes.

He nods in answer to her question.] I did, but I had help. [The various people who wandered in to keep him from burning or otherwise ruining the crab.]

I'm not much of a cook, really, my sister was the cook in the family, but something like this isn't so hard. [His smile goes soft and his eyes drop to the table. For a long time he tried not to talk about Yanli at all or even make reference to her, but it's nice actually, to remember her love of cooking.]

What about you, do you cook?

[oiorpata]

[ his delight is adorable. she grins, half from his exuberance and half because, again, the crab is really fucking good. ]

How else are you gonna learn without help? [ she and her family have always helped one another figure out how to make each other's favorites. she notes the way his eyes drop and starts to wonder after his sister, but she doesn't want to make the conversation go south. ]

I can. But my brother enjoys it more than I do, so he cooks more than me. I can be pretty lazy about it. [ why make a fancy dish when she can just make a sandwich, especially if she's in a rush?? ] It's more fun to do it with others anyway.

[singlelogbridge]

It is. [He agrees, thinking back to those rare times when he, Shijie, and Jiang Cheng would all work together. Mostly it was Shijie doing all of the hard parts and directing them what to chop and when to add something into a pot, but they had fun working together like that.

And then there was baking all day with Itachi and Gwen for Qixi, a memory that lacks the bittersweet edge of the one that came before.]

Is your brother younger or older?