Open | RIP Sebastian + catch all

[singlelogbridge]

CHARACTERS: Wei Wuxian, a giant dead crab, and you!
LOCATION: The kitchen/mess hall
DATE: September 17th
CONTENT: Eating crabs
WARNINGS: None at the moment



A

[The day after their return from Xrisora, Wei Wuxian can be found having taken over one of the stoves in the kitchen. Lying on the counter next to him are two crab legs—that is, two giant crab legs from a Titan Crab. How did he get them here? It is a mystery. Anyway, he’s taken over a part of the kitchen with his crab shenanigans and is slowly but surely beginning to cook one of the legs up. After a while, he makes the executive decision to freeze a leg and a half because there is absolutely no way they’ll be able to eat all of it.

Anyway, he is cooking so much crab.

At some point he is absolutely burning some of the crab. Maybe someone can supervise? Please come save the crab.]

B

[Somehow, most of the crab gets cooked without being burned or ruined in some other way, which means it is time to season it! Do you like your crab spicy? Obviously you do, why wouldn’t you? Who doesn’t like spice? Only crazy people, that’s who!

Thankfully, Wei Wuxian is friends with Itachi which means he’s aware that some people on the station can’t handle spice. This means that most of the crab is boring and only has some melted butter on it, and absolutely zero eye searing red flakes and spices.

Everyone should help themselves to crab. Their options are terrible, boring, (perfectly fine) normal crab, or delicious, stunning, wonderful (hope you didn’t need your tastebuds or your esophagus!) spicy crab.]

C
[And at some point, a text across the network.]

I’m making crab!

[That’s it, that’s the text, he doesn’t have time for this network nonsense, his pan is on fire!]

D

[Wildcard it! Crab related or other!]

Comments

[adept]

Hm...

[ Yuri's none too sure what the refining part means, exactly, but that probably goes to the point. It makes him wonder, if only for a moment, how others from home would take to the concept.

But that's hardly something he can confirm. Instead, he turns his attention to the spices. ]

I don't mind a little heat. Most food from my country's considered bland, but I'm from a border territory.

[singlelogbridge]

[A little heat?? Hmm. Wei Wuxian portions out some of the crab—the portion that he'll eat—and quickly begins to add the various spices along with a few drops of chili oil that he'd had sitting out on the counter. When he's done, the crab is strikingly red and even staring at it for too long is bound to burn someone's eyes.]

This is more than a little heat. Try it and tell me what you think! I can do yours the same if you like it!

[RIP Yuri's tastebuds, tonsils, and esophagus if he does.]

[adept]

[ That...certainly is a heavy hand with the seasonings. Yuri carefully moves the meat nearest to him aside, sparing the burner a glance to ensure that he's turned it off.

He's pretty sure he knows what he's in for here, eyeing that reddened meat critically. ]

...You might breathe fire if you eat it like that.

[ So he's making a bee-line to the fridge to retrieve the milk he'd spotted there earlier and collecting glasses for it as well. ]

That normally how much you use?

[singlelogbridge]

[Letting out a laugh and shaking his head] Of course it is, spicy food is the best! Come on, at least just try it!

Back home, the region I'm from is known for spicy food. I still like it more than most people I know though. Even my...ah, even my brother thinks I'm crazy.

I can't help it if I have good taste!

[adept]

[ Yuri sets down the glasses with a pronounced clink against the counter, trying not to question how the man's stomach has survived if this is routinely how he eats.

But he does sound absolutely serious about it. ]

Against my better judgment I'll give it a shot, but I'm ready for the inevitable.

[ He taps the rim of the glass nearest to him. Well-traveled as he is, Yuri has crossed paths with at times surprisingly spicy food more than once. This, he suspects, is well beyond that. ]

[singlelogbridge]

[Delighted, Wei Wuxian uses a clean set of chopsticks to portion out a piece of the extremely spicy crab for Yuri to taste. In the meantime, he eats a section for himself, and tough his face does turn a little red, he is very clearly enjoying it.]

You'll thank me, it's great! [He won't, and it's not. Wei Wuxian just has an unhealthy addiction to spice.]

[adept]

[ Yuri likes to think of himself as a realist. And so, he's quite sure he's about to set his mouth on fire.

His expectations are met — even exceeded — when he forks a small bite. Immediately, his eyes burn, and he grabs the milk he'd brought over. Only once he's gulped that down does he try to speak, his voice somewhat choked by the experience. ]

You've got some fortitude, I'll give you that.

[singlelogbridge]

[Wei Wuxian bursts into good natured laughter and leans over to slap a hand on Yuri's shoulder, shaking his head.]

Aiya, well at least you tried! [It's more than he can say for most!]

Alright, alright, you have your boring flavorless portion and I'll have mine. Come on, let's go eat. [He grins an nods at one of the tables for them to go and take a seat and dig in.]