[open] my soul is the color of ice and snow

[calmness]

CHARACTERS: lan xichen and YOU
LOCATION: around the ship
DATE: all after february 21st
CONTENT: simulation of cloud recess with totally not real rabbits that wear headbands, magical healing music, and a bit of sad time drinking. everything is about poorly coping.
WARNINGS: will update as i go, post-mission sadness ahead

time on the back hills (pets are forbidden)

[for an afternoon, those wishing to step into the simulation room will find it occupied and the scene before them as they step through the doors a pathway that leads them through a compound in the mountains. here winter turns to spring, blossoms bloom on trees still surrounded by sporadic piles of snow.

xichens them at the head of the path that leads them down past a waterfall and a pool, winding through the compound.] Come. Let me show you something.

[once on the way, xichen leads the two them through winding pathways and down a narrow path through a thick tree-line until they emerge on a grassy hill that is seems empty and covered in small patches of snow. the only notable thing there is a large rabbit-hutch standing under a tree, providing shade for the sunny field. xichen makes his way to the hutch, where he's left a basket full of vegetables -- carrots, lettuce, beets.

anyone approaching will soon realise that some of the white puffs of snow are not snow at all, but white rabbits of various sizes. some of them, surprisingly, wear a similar headband to the one xichen wears across his forehead.] Join me? [xichen calls over his shoulder, motioning them closer to the hutch.] They're friendly and easily won over, but I must warn you, they have a poor sense of boundaries. [he tips his head toward the basket of food, bribes for the rabbits.]

I used to take my nephew to this place after a difficult time. [he says after a while, in lieu of explanation for why he's created this particular vision for them all. rabbits are great for stress, you see. and that he equates some of you as needing the same soothing as a toddler once did.]

the song of clarity

[in the sunlight room, soft chords can be heard by anyone who passes through or wishes a moment of calm. xichen settles in a shady spot with his guqin, newly acquired and not quite tuned in the way he'd like. not that anyone unfamiliar could tell.

he sends a quick message to the network before he begins playing, a warning and also an invitation.] I am playing a song of Clarity the sunlight room, for those interested. If you have been feeling anxious or ill-at-ease, or unable to rest, the music is infused with Qi and will help ease your mind. I will play for anyone who needs it.

[the music floats through the room, the notes of the qin accompanied by sounds pulled forth by pale blue energy as he strikes each chord so it seems like he is accompanying himself with his flute. he has rested enough, slept most of the days since their return, that his energy levels are returning to their pre-mission state. not normal, no, but good enough that he can play. it helps too, serves as a distraction from the way things ended in scorpion's bend where the left a man to his seclusion.

that is a future xichen knows well, though he is pushing those exact thoughts out as he plays.

company is welcome and xichen plays the song all the way through regardless of when company joins him. as it comes to a close, he opens his eyes and looks at his companion.] Do you feel alright?

late nights musings and moping

[as it was for many, the mission was not an easy one for xichen. the conclusion, knowing that ford is left alone and the orb acted for its own entertainment leaves a hole in xichen's heart.

it makes anger boil in his chest, leaves him tossing and turning after exhaustion fades away. so instead of resting, he wanders the halls of the ship in the night. sometimes he is found on the observation deck, looking out at the stars with the corners of his lips pulled downward in a frown and brows creased in muted anger.

other times, deep in the night, he wanders to the kitchens and brews himself a cup of tea as he bends himself over a book that he is not truly reading. if pulled from his reading, he looks up at whatever poor soul enters the kitchen at this hour.] Would you like a cup? [there's still a good amount of tea in the pot next to him, a special blend from braccia for those who may recognize it. after a moment, he speaks again.] Or something stronger?


wild card!

[ooc: feel free to throw some variation of these my way or let me know if you'd like something else at grimm#9436 on discord or on plurk!]

Comments

blending prompts together bye

[construing]

[ gwen stops banging cabinet doors, blinking owlishly over. ]

I was looking for food. [ something she could take back to her room to snack on to be precise.

venom has been insisting a little more on feeding times. apparently, despite their supply of rations back in scorpion's bend, it learned "hunger" for the very first time and it is not a fan.

she peers curiously at his book. ]

What you reading?

works for me!

[calmness]

[xichen turns toward gwen after glancing at the book he's reading.] It's called Water Margin. It's one of the classics.

[and inspired some works by fans of the original that were later banned in polite circles. but what is the point of classical literature if not for some salacious late night reading?

he closes the book. better not share the page he had it opened to, once he gets a better look.] Having trouble sleeping too? [he hasn't seen gwen most nights he's been up but, well, the station isn't exactly small.]

[construing]

[ she snorts. ]

If by "too" you mean "for the last four years", then yeah. I have trouble sleeping too.

[ fetching herself a bowl of cereal and milk, gwen turns to the table. she slumps into a chair opposite xichen, and digs into her meal.

she points to the book with her spoon. ] What's it about?

wabbits

[firstroar]

I can stand.

[Blue, who had to be carried here, unwinds his arm from around Xichen's shoulders to just hang onto one for support as he's set on his feet. he takes Xichen's arm for the help walking the remainder of the way - a slow and plodding pace where the both are in no hurry, though Blue is inclined to be impatient with himself just on principle.

this pace slows when he sees the little fuzzballs, eyebrows lifting. granted, he didn't know what he was expecting, but he wasn't expecting they look...faintly familiar. Rain was small and fuzzy, too, but...]

[calmness]

Where would you like to sit? [xichen asks, looking around. the sun in here isn't real but it is bright and they have options under a large tree in the shade.

he moves carefully at blue's side, worried and trying to ensure no more injury to the other man. he knows what happened on bedrock after all, but xichen is no stranger to men coming back from the dead anymore. it isn't quite as fantastical as it should be, though he worries still.

he notices blue looking at the rabbits, smiles softly.] Have you met a rabbit before?

[firstroar]

[before he can get an answer to where to settle, Blue's leaning forward a little with an intention to get a bit nearer to the creatures, to better see them.]

No I...I don't believe I have...

[he hesitates, sobering with the recollection that they're merely simulations, not the real things; there's no presence to be perceived from them.]

I don't mind...sitting here a while, then.

bunnies!!!

[hatejakku]

[ Admittedly, Finn doesn't like the simulation room. He never did, what with it creating places that weren't there, scenarios that weren't real, no matter how similar it was to the Sunlight Room for those same reasons. But he does like that it offers them the chance to see into each of their homes. He can experience his friend's worlds, their cultural, their lives, sometimes even their families.

This is no exception by any means.

He follows Xichen until he spots the tiny animals, his mouth hanging open as he watches them all wiggle their noses and hop around. He can't feel them, of course, so the approach he should take here feels unclear. But he does very very carefully step closer. ]

They're so- [ CUTE ] -fuzzy. I can-?

[ He points into the middle of them, looking at Xichen as if he's asking if he can sit amongst them. But even while he's 'asking,' Finn steps closer and kneels down.

He really wishes he could feel them. ]

[calmness]

[this is the sort of reaction that has fondness swelling in xichen's chest. it makes him feel a little lighter, like he can bring some good into the world after such a crushing blow.

he watches finn for a moment, then nods.] Of course. They are Lan rabbits, very well behaved. [while the fact they are lan rabbits is true and some are wearing headbands, the well behaved bit is debatable.

some of the rabbits hop away, more interested in seeing if xichen has food for them while the ones near finn hop closer to see if he has anything tucked away that he is willing to share. if finn finds one trying to get into any of his pockets, well, it's just curious.

xichen walks over to where the basket of vegetables is and brings it over, offering and offering it out to finn.] They like the carrots best.

[hatejakku]

[ Finn knows they're not real. He knows this. As soon as one goes digging in his pocket, it no longer matters. ]

Hiii. [ He's cooing at the prodigy dumpster diver but okay. With both hands, he carefully lifts the tiny rabbit - with its tiny headband - and tucks it near his chest. Another struggles to get on to his lap with a few more just crowed around, curious, adorable.

Then he looks up the Xichen and carefully takes a carrot. ]

Thank you. [ He holds the leafy bit out to the rabbit in his arms before it quickly starts to munch away. The one on his lap takes advantage of the other end accidentally being near his face.

Xichen, do you never feed these babies? For shame. ]

How do they keep the headbands on?

late nights

[ruinously]

[ It shouldn't be surprising that it's Dean who wanders in - he's as bad as everyone else on this station, unable to sleep and plagued by nightmares when he does. ]

I don't think tea is gonna cut it for me, man.

[ It's a nice idea, the aesthetics of it are chill and all, but Dean is a black coffee drinking managed alcoholic, and he needs... hell, he doesn't even know what he needs. ]

There any liquor in here?

[calmness]

[that's alright, really, xichen had been hoping that 'stronger' would be the answer when dean walked in. they are, after all, drinking buddies.]

I have a special wine from home and I am sure there is something harder in the cabinets. [xichen pushes himself up from the table, shutting the cover of his book before going toward one of the cabinets to look through it.

first thing, he pulls out a white, round bottle from the cupboards and then looks at the other options. which, really, he has no actual idea what's what so don't leave him hanging and staring in there too long.]

the song of clarity

[spacedisaster]

[ He wasn't going to come, not really interested in socializing or being seen. Mostly because Peter still looks like hell warmed over even after escaping leaving the infirmary. There are dark bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep, his jacket hangs looser on him because of the lost weight, and he can't lift his left shoulder properly. The wound Kaneki caused after biting him is still healing, and Peter's sure it will leave a scar. And yet, somehow, he's managed to climb one of the sunlight room trees and rest against the trunk, staying hidden by the branches as he listens to Xichen play, his eyes closed.

Peter has never seen an instrument like the guqin before, but he likes the calming sounds. He's not sure if it's because of Xichen's talent at playing it or the magic imbued in the notes, but he feels more at ease. It is as if the barbed wire squeezing his heart after the misery of the last month is loosening slightly. He is almost lured to sleep by the soft music. Almost. He doesn't immediately answer, at first only humming when Xichen speaks. ]

You are a very good player. What is it called? The instrument?

[calmness]

[xichen is happy to play, fingers gliding over the strings with practiced ease. he is not as strong on the qin as his brother, no, but he is still a talented player.

this song is not an easy one to master.

that's why he'd been so proud when jin guangyao had picked it up so easily, when he hadn't known the man had bastardized it and twisted it into an ugly thing. the thought is what has him sliding his hands over the strings to stop them from vibrating when peter finally speaks.

xichen smiles softly, happy to see that some of the tension has left his friend's shoulders. peter looks worse for wear since they've returned, haunted. they all do, of course, but he can tell that the loss is hitting something different in peter. xichen feels to it, after speaking to ford, but a few days of rest and recharging his spiritual energy reserves mean he at least looks like he's gotten the sleep he's been lacking.] A guqin. [he answers softly, keeping his voice quiet.] I looked into it and apparently this is what leads to your futuristic guitar.

Would you like for me to keep playing? [and then, worried.] You look like you could use some more rest, Peter.

give me the BUNBUNS

[coordination]

[ Yzak came to the simulation room for other reasons, so he's taken aback when it's already occupied. At least the environment is pretty, peaceful, because he's not in the mood for anything else right now. ]

Rabbits?

[ When he follows Xichen and spots the little balls of puff, his eyebrows shoot up. ]

I don't think you've mentioned a nephew, before.

[calmness]

[xichen lets out a soft chuckle and nods, glad that yzak seems to have a good reaction to the rabbits. his mood is not worse and for that, xichen is grateful. that was his aim.] Lan rabbits, yes.

[only the ones with the headbands, at least.

he walks over to the basket of vegetables, leaving yzak to explore as he calls out.] My brother's son. I used to bring him here when he was a boy. Time here is scarcer now that he is grown.

late nights musings and moping

[cruelyethuman]

[Returning to the station was always a shock to the system. The same system that expected wood beams and ugly statues, the familiar sound of boots on marble or packed dirt. It was silly to expect it, still, but the Darkling found himself doing it anyway.

This time, the jarring sensation in his bones - offset by the piecing pain in his shoulder- had been far worse. The fate of the sole survivor of Scorpion's Bend weighing on him, for reasons he was far too sober and still too raw to think about.

Instead, the Darkling made his way to the kitchen, a bottle of kvas hanging from his fingers as he steps across the threshold. It's another jarring thing, to have people around constantly again and he stops, one foot inside the door.]

What do you have in your cup?

[Appearances can be deceiving and as for the second question, he holds up the bottle of translucent liquid.] Thank you, but I brought my own.

[As he enters, riffling through the cupboard to find a glass before taking a seat.]

[calmness]

This is tea from Braccia, a jasmine like blend. [good for winding down, not likely to keep him awake if his mind allows him some rest. that is unlikely, when laying in bed brings nightmares and thoughts of the inevitability of seclusion.

xichen is not made for loneliness. neither was ford, he thinks.] I was waiting to finish the cup before something stronger. [he taps the side of a bottle that's on the table next to him with his index finger. he hasn't opened it yet but its contents will replace his tea.

he tilts his head as he sees the other man pull out the bottle, brows raised. it seems he's not the only one who is up late and seeking a drink.] What is your pick of poison?

play that funky music quiet boy

[oiorpata]

[ she doesn't know what the song of clarity actually is, nor is andy feeling particularly anxious, but she has been curious about xichen's music and a little worried about his state of being, so when his offer goes out, she makes her way there. ]

[ so she comes and sits, easily relaxing as the music plays and fills the room around her. she closes her eyes and just... lets herself enjoy it. she thinks of quynh and some of the times they spent in china, and it's nice to have the memory be welcomed with the atmosphere of calmness rather than the ache of absence. ]

[ he finishes and speaks, and andy doesn't quite move, quite comfortable in how she's lounging in the grass. she does open her eyes at least. ] I do. You play beautifully.

[ a beat. ] My question is more are you all right?

[calmness]

[xichen wonders if she's asleep for a moment, as he slides his hands over the strings and forces them to finally still. the air around them is calm, the sense of peace settling into their space.

even as the one playing, the song leaves him feeling lighter than he after they'd returned to the station. he'd felt raw then, lost. rest had helped, but not for long.] Thank you. I have had a bit of practice. [at least with this song. he frowns at that, shaking himself out of a sudden thought.

he wonders what it would have done for mingjue, if it would have prolonged his life a few more years if jin guangyao had not been playing a twisted version for him when xichen was not present. andy's question pulls him from those thoughts.

the precepts demand honesty and while xichen is good at sidestepping those, he doesn't this time.] To say I am fine would be a lie. I am processing it all still.

The end was... [difficult. horrible. a view of his future.] Cruel. To Ford, to anyone who may fear loneliness.

late nights musings and moping

[cheapbastard]

( billy's already hunched over a bottle of something when xichen walks. billy gives him a cursory look before he goes back to his brooding or sulking or sullen silence. he recognizes him just from the close quarters of the ship but billy's pretty sure he hasn't spoken to him.

time to change that? maybe. he doesn't know. but, he doesn't get a chance to initiate the conversation before the other guy's asking him a question. )

Cup of what? Is that tea? Everyone tries to offer me fuckin' tea.

[calmness]

[xichen glances his cup and nods.] Tea from Braccia. Jasmine. [the last of his reserves, honestly, so be flattered.

he looks up at the man with a hint of amusement in his eyes, though he is trying to be polite.] There is wine and plenty of alcohol, if you'd prefer something stronger?

Moping

[morethan084]

[When Daisy couldn't sleep, which was often, she found herself wandering around the station late at night. And with access to actual food, a lot of time lately has been spent raiding the kitchen for whatever she was craving. Entering, she was expecting it to be empty as it has been the previous times, so when she spots someone else in there she has to quickly fix her expression so she doesn't look as distraught as she feels.]

What?

[It takes her a second to put together what he was saying as she was preoccupied by her thoughts.]

Oh, uh--

[She doesn't normally drink tea, but there have been times where she would be up late talking with Jemma and she'd brew tea for them.]

Sure, thanks.

[Grabbing a mug from the cabinet, Daisy moves to where he's sitting.]

What are you reading?

[calmness]

[xichen doesn't actually expect most people to say yes to the tea, so this turns into a pleasant surprise. he has a teapot full of brew next to him, so when the other joins him he is happy to pour her a cup.

it's a warm blend he got from braccia. close to what some might consider lady early grey if it existed in other worlds.

he glances down at his book.] More staring at than reading. [he has to admit.] It is called White Nights. [he slides the book, a dostoevsky novel, across the table for her to see.] I meant to read it before we left for Scorpion's Bend and now I am considering burning it. [not particularly because of the topic, though the theme of loneliness hits home, but dostoevsky is a poor read when already down.]

late night

[winscenario]

[ Insomnia is a hard beast to beat. Sometimes exercise helps, or reading a book to distract himself. Often, if he has Bones there, just talking things out does the trick, or having sex to simply get his mind off things. Alas, tonight Bones is pulling a night shift, and Jim isn't in the mood to get into training gear, and he's stared at the same page of the same book for too long before realizing that he can't focus on a single word there.

So he wanders, just like Xichen does. Through the hallways and rooms, finding one or two other people keeping busy, and ends up in the mess hall where he finds Xichen sitting, bent over a book that he's reading with about the same amount of focus as Jim with the book now abandoned on his nightstand. ]

Definitely something stronger.

[ But he doesn't need Xichen getting that for him; he heads over to the cupboards himself, digging through what little alcohol is still left there, then grabbing two glasses and bringing them over to the table. While pouring them both a drink, he adds. ]

Looks like you're needing something stronger, too.

[calmness]

[jim earns a smile as he enters the kitchen, a dip of his head in greeting as he picks the answer that he'd wanted to hear. xichen appreciates that, watches as jim moves to the cupboard and pulls out a bottle of alcohol that he does not know.

not that xichen is familiar with many varieties, though he has been learning. scorpion's bend was eye opening on many fronts.

he takes the opportunity to close his book as jim sits down in front of him, sets it aside for now.] Very much so. Sleep has not come easily since we returned, not after the first few nights.

I see, I'm not the only one. [he shakes his head, offering a sad smile.] What are we drinking?