[open] my soul is the color of ice and snow

[calmness]

CHARACTERS: lan xichen and YOU
LOCATION: around the ship
DATE: all after february 21st
CONTENT: simulation of cloud recess with totally not real rabbits that wear headbands, magical healing music, and a bit of sad time drinking. everything is about poorly coping.
WARNINGS: will update as i go, post-mission sadness ahead

time on the back hills (pets are forbidden)

[for an afternoon, those wishing to step into the simulation room will find it occupied and the scene before them as they step through the doors a pathway that leads them through a compound in the mountains. here winter turns to spring, blossoms bloom on trees still surrounded by sporadic piles of snow.

xichens them at the head of the path that leads them down past a waterfall and a pool, winding through the compound.] Come. Let me show you something.

[once on the way, xichen leads the two them through winding pathways and down a narrow path through a thick tree-line until they emerge on a grassy hill that is seems empty and covered in small patches of snow. the only notable thing there is a large rabbit-hutch standing under a tree, providing shade for the sunny field. xichen makes his way to the hutch, where he's left a basket full of vegetables -- carrots, lettuce, beets.

anyone approaching will soon realise that some of the white puffs of snow are not snow at all, but white rabbits of various sizes. some of them, surprisingly, wear a similar headband to the one xichen wears across his forehead.] Join me? [xichen calls over his shoulder, motioning them closer to the hutch.] They're friendly and easily won over, but I must warn you, they have a poor sense of boundaries. [he tips his head toward the basket of food, bribes for the rabbits.]

I used to take my nephew to this place after a difficult time. [he says after a while, in lieu of explanation for why he's created this particular vision for them all. rabbits are great for stress, you see. and that he equates some of you as needing the same soothing as a toddler once did.]

the song of clarity

[in the sunlight room, soft chords can be heard by anyone who passes through or wishes a moment of calm. xichen settles in a shady spot with his guqin, newly acquired and not quite tuned in the way he'd like. not that anyone unfamiliar could tell.

he sends a quick message to the network before he begins playing, a warning and also an invitation.] I am playing a song of Clarity the sunlight room, for those interested. If you have been feeling anxious or ill-at-ease, or unable to rest, the music is infused with Qi and will help ease your mind. I will play for anyone who needs it.

[the music floats through the room, the notes of the qin accompanied by sounds pulled forth by pale blue energy as he strikes each chord so it seems like he is accompanying himself with his flute. he has rested enough, slept most of the days since their return, that his energy levels are returning to their pre-mission state. not normal, no, but good enough that he can play. it helps too, serves as a distraction from the way things ended in scorpion's bend where the left a man to his seclusion.

that is a future xichen knows well, though he is pushing those exact thoughts out as he plays.

company is welcome and xichen plays the song all the way through regardless of when company joins him. as it comes to a close, he opens his eyes and looks at his companion.] Do you feel alright?

late nights musings and moping

[as it was for many, the mission was not an easy one for xichen. the conclusion, knowing that ford is left alone and the orb acted for its own entertainment leaves a hole in xichen's heart.

it makes anger boil in his chest, leaves him tossing and turning after exhaustion fades away. so instead of resting, he wanders the halls of the ship in the night. sometimes he is found on the observation deck, looking out at the stars with the corners of his lips pulled downward in a frown and brows creased in muted anger.

other times, deep in the night, he wanders to the kitchens and brews himself a cup of tea as he bends himself over a book that he is not truly reading. if pulled from his reading, he looks up at whatever poor soul enters the kitchen at this hour.] Would you like a cup? [there's still a good amount of tea in the pot next to him, a special blend from braccia for those who may recognize it. after a moment, he speaks again.] Or something stronger?


wild card!

[ooc: feel free to throw some variation of these my way or let me know if you'd like something else at grimm#9436 on discord or on plurk!]

Comments

[calmness]

[biography of several orbers and war porn that inspired lots of fan fiction, yep.

he tilts his head, for a moment confused. ] What do I play? [he's played for enough people here and on the missions that it takes him a moment.] Ah. I play the flute and the guqin. A zither. [an ancient, seven string guitar of sorts.]

The instrument does not matter as much as the music if it's infused with qi.

[construing]

[ she shakes her head, smiling helplessly. ]

Sorry, lost me again. You're going to have to explain to me like I'm five. [ or american. either works. ]

What's qi?

[calmness]

[he doesn't know what an american is but five, well, he's raised a toddler.]

Qi is energy. It flows through everything, makes up all life. Everything. [a pause.] Like the Force if you've heard of that? [some from similar worlds as gwen seem familiar enough and that makes explaining this easier.]

[construing]

[ has she heard of that? asked of the girl who spent a good chunk of childhood and adolescence, and therefore more than half her life, harboring not so tiny crushes on padmé amidala, anakin skywalker, and, of course, ewan-mcgregor-as-obi-wan-kenobi. ]

Yep. I know the Force. Cool. [ cool cool cool cool cool cool. very cool. her nerd heart isn't crying. ]

So, you manipulate it through music?

[calmness]

It is like the Force. [it is only somewhat like the force.

he nods.] My style of cultivation, manipulating qi focuses on doing some through music but that's not the only way. [to demonstrate, he turns palm up on the table and for a moment a faint blue light glows from the center before retreating back.

not what he's supposed to do with it, no, but a demo!] I can channel it into talismans or just send it out as a silent spell.

[construing]

[ so definitely not exactly the force. but. very cool.

she smiles. ]

Music's powerful. Just makes sense it'd lend itself well to something like that.

[calmness]

Yes, it can heal and destroy. [and he's capable of both.] I can play songs that heal the body and ease the mind.

[which is a lot kinder than saying 'i could manipulate your mind and actions if i wished' but true.]

[construing]

[ gwen digs back into her forgotten cereal. ]

I don't know that it'll do much for my sleep, [ not a knock against his skill, just that she has a whole mental disorder, ] but I love music. I'm a drummer. Music's how I make the world make sense.

[calmness]

Worth a try? [xichen offers, optimistic for the sake of optimism.] I've played for Newton and a few others. It has helped.

[it's meant to help, to force it a little. he smiles at that, appreciating and knowing the sentiment.] Music is how I make sense of things as well. Have you been playing long? Your drums?

[construing]

Years now. My dad finally relented in middle school and bought me a drum kit. [ gwen laughs. ] I think he seriously considered soundproofing the entire house for a bit.

[ as always, memories of her dad are half-joy, half-missing him. she turns the spoon in the bowl. ]

[calmness]

How long had you been asking? [a while, he thinks, given her reaction.

he notices the subtle shift, realizes that parents can be a difficult topic and he can relate to that.] My flute was my mother's influence. It isn't traditional for my Sect and, for a while, I am sure my uncle wished he could block out the sound.

[construing]

[ over a flute??? ]

Remind me never to play where he can hear. [ or considering who he was as a person, wei wuxian would definitely be sic’ing her and her drums on uncle lan.

hi, julia, remember to app xoxo ]

Do you have your flute with you?

[calmness]

Probably best. I cannot see him appreciating the drums. [it might stress his uncle out enough to trigger another episode of qi sickness, which no one wants. or some loud scolding.

also unwise.] I do. [and then he pulls out a little white pouch which was hanging off his belt, opens it and from the hand-size bag pulls out a flute that should in no way fit in there.

magic.]

[construing]

[ oh, now we're showing off our bags of holding. #rude. ]

I've always had this urge to shove an anchor inside one of those and then upend it when no one's expecting it. [ you know. exactly like the cartoons.

there's a beat. ]

I'm saying my thoughts out loud again, aren't I?

[calmness]

[xichen lifts a brow at that, his expression shifting toward amusement and then like he's trying to hold in a laugh.

he's used to more subtlety but this is also refreshing in a way.

so he looks more amused when he nods.] You are. Does that happen often?

[construing]

[ she will get a full belly laugh out of you one day, man. just wait. ]

Just often enough to keep myself humble.

[ her demeanor contrasts the joke: with certain exceptions, gwen prefers to make herself small. shoulders hunched, head low. she dips the spoon back into the cereal, watching the corn flakes circle idly. ]

I'm usually in my head a lot. A lot of thoughts. [ a lot of intrusive thoughts. uncomfortable, she hops on her tried and true method: another joke. ] Guess they need an outlet before they eat me from the inside too.

[calmness]

[it is possible, it has happened before. rumor has it, even once on this ship.

while he would have chuckled at this joke, xichen instead notes gwen's demeanor. he stays quiet, listening intently and carefully. sometimes silence helps others have a chance to speak, to fill the space.] I know that all too well.

[he says after a moment, nodding as he looks down at his own abandoned tea and then the young woman before him.] If you're willing to try something a bit magical, there is a song among my sect's teachings which is meant to help with just that. It eases a troubled mind and promotes inner peace.

[construing]

Sure. [ wait. ] Do I need to do something? Like, lie down or…

[ this isn't psychodynamic therapy, gwen. ]

[calmness]

[xichen realizes belatedly that he's repeating himself a bit, isn't he? a sign that it's time for the song on his behalf as well.

he shakes his head, chuckling.] Just sit comfortably. Though if you think you'll fall over when sitting up, we can move somewhere for you to lay down. [he'd catch gwen if she fell, though, don't worry!]

[construing]

Okay, give me two seconds.

[ cereal finished, she picks up the bowl, and downs the leftover milk. task complete, she sets it aside and sits up in her seat, feet flat on the floor, and hands on her lap. ]

All right. Ready.

[calmness]

Take your time. [the way gwen bounces between loudly speaking what's on her mind, to this diligence faintly reminds xichen of jingyi, in a pleasant way that makes him miss home at the same time.

he finally pulls his flute, liebing, out of the bag and sets the bag aside.] Alright.

[and then he lifts his flute to his lips, starts to softly play a tune. blue light floats into the air, a gentle wave of cool air fills the space that brings a sense of calm with it. it is like stepping into a cool pond, it washes away any distractions or thoughts that persistently cloud the mind.

if only for a short time.]

[construing]

[ the musician in her focuses first on the sound. it is unlike anything she usually listens to, yet she leans forward, drawn to it. as the notes fall around her like snow on a winter day, she finds she can breathe more easily. why he suggested they might find a place for her to lie down is clear: if she closes her eyes, she could fall asleep right here. most surprisingly, her mind is strangely, blessedly quiet.

gwen, however, is never alone. nor is she the only one with a special love of music.

it appears first as delicate black threads that lie against gwen's brow and cheeks, across her slender throat. as the music washes over them, they band together, thicken—black ribbons where there had been threads around her torso, forming a black halo behind her head, curling like magic in the air.

meet venom. ]

[calmness]

[xichen continues to play, focused on the movement of his hands across the strings.

it takes him a while to glance up, to notice that as he plays there is a presence growing around her. xichen has not met venom, nor heard mention of the symbiont. alas.

so suddenly he stops, the music ending suddenly.] Gwen?! [she looks relaxed still, but there is panic in his voice and he's not sure what he's caused.]

[construing]

[ gwen startles out of her reverie. ] What? What is it?

[ spider-sense isn't warning her so she doesn't immediately place the cause for alarm until she looks down to the black tentacle circling her.

she breathes a little, ] Oh, [ expression relaxing, then turning apologetic. ]

Sorry. This is Venom. It…likes music.

[ venom who likes music, at the cessation of said music, sinks closer to her. it lies slick over her arms and drapes over her head like a liquid hood. the edges bubble as it recedes back inside her skin, though not completely. black ribbons wind around her arm when she lifts it, her hand held parallel to the floor. the ribbons pool on her palm and disperse into delicate black spiders. ]

[calmness]

It--- are you alright? [xichen doesn't know what to make of venom, who looks like a restless spirit encircling the young woman before him.

it's unnerving, and then--- then there are spiders.

the precepts say do not hurt insects and such creatures, but they say nothing about liking them. xichen may shudder.] Venom is the spiders? [he quirks a brow at her outstretched hand, then tries to look at gwen and not the spiders.]