Clara Oswald (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bossily) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ximilialog2021-10-23 01:41 pm
bossily) wrote in ximilialog2021-10-23 01:41 pm
open ; catch all for October
CHARACTERS: Clara Oswald & OPEN
LOCATION: Around the station
DATE: 10/17-10/21
CONTENT: Clara pops back onto the station after a canon update
WARNINGS: Mentions of death
I. Twice Returned
[Time is such a funny thing, really. In her time spent traveling with the Doctor, she's come to understand that it can be such a meaningless thing. Except for when it's important. And in the series of events that have just unfolded for her, time feels incredibly important. Vital, even.
The thing is, she remembers being on the station before. Remembers her friends there, and the missions. And she remembers the orbs. It had all been one big adventure before. But then she was sent back, gone in a blink of an eye. For those close to her, it's not likely they even will notice she's gone. For her though, time passes more slowly. Hours turn to days away, and days to week. Before she knows it, years have passed. Time spent aging and growing, developing into a different person. Clara Oswald has a home on Earth maybe, but she no longer feels the same sort of attachment to it that she once had. With the loss of Danny Pink and the intensity of her connection growing stronger with each adventure after, Clara's left more and more of her life on Earth behind.
Sure, it's fine to tap in and out of London to check in on people like Rigsy. People who are friends. People who -
Well, people who Clara's willing to die for. Her reckless streak has finally caught up to her in the form of a chronolock. One that's recently taken her life. Or maybe it took her life billions of years ago, things are a bit fuzzy at the moment. She recalls coming back, recalls learning the Doctor spent billions of years in a personal hell because of her dying. She recalls stealing her own TARDIS, recalls making the one person she loves more than anyone forget everything about her.
She had done it for his own good, and the good of the universe. It's a bit hard to justify staying together when you know an entire prophecy was written as a warning to keep you apart. It won't do to have their relationship bring on the hybrid.
Which is exactly why she's confused as she's pulled back into the station and has to try and sort things out. Is the Doctor still here, she wonders. Have billions of years passed here too? Only a few days? Weeks?
Time had started to feel meaningless for her.
That was before the raven swooped in and changed everything.
Now it feels increasingly important to pinpoint exact moments in time. Her fingers press against the inside of her left wrist as she slowly navigates the hallways. There's a heartbeat there. But there shouldn't be. When she bumps into someone as she walks she owlishly blinks up at them, her fingers slipping away.]
How long has it been since the last mission?
II. Sunlight Room
[For those that know her well enough, it's easy to tell that something is a little off. She looks a little older in her face, her eyes holding a maturity that she had previously been lacking. She's seen and been through so many things in her time away that being back here almost feels surreal. It doesn't feel like it should be possible.
But she's the impossible girl, or at least she once had been. She knows from experience that anything is possible. Usually she's the one forcing the impossible to happen. There's almost something comical about the fact that she finally was in full control of her own destiny. She had the ability to be the Doctor in her own right, traveling whenever and wherever she wanted. She could face her death when she was ready and go back to it the long way around.
She finally had all the control she wanted, only to have it torn away from her again. But she knew now she had a distinct purpose for being here. She couldn't remember her regret from before, but knew that it couldn't be as important as the one she wanted to undo now. She would do whatever it took to protect the Doctor. Even if it meant rewriting time itself.
She stands in the sunlight room, head tipped so she can peer up at the artificial light. It's almost like she's looking for something. She hears the sound of someone walking past and reaches out to grab hold of their hand. There's no words at first, no sign of what she wants. Really, she's just desperate for some kind of contact right now. A reminder to anchor her to the reality of being back and having a purpose again.]
Do you think this station had a purpose before we all arrived here?
III. Kitchen
[Apparently coming back to life and getting her heartbeat back means that the threat of being caught between her last heartbeat and death doesn't have to be an immediate threat. What is the immediate issue is that no amount of food seems to be enough. Clara's typically anxious over the amount of supplies on the station and worrying about whether or not everyone has enough. She started her hydroponic garden to help ensure the children have plenty to eat. But now that concern is far from her mind as she camps out in the kitchen and eats.
She spends hours grazing her way around the kitchen, only pausing when she catches sight of someone else entering. Her mouth is usually full when this happens, and she swallows what's in her mouth to try and awkwardly smile.]
Right, so...I can explain.
[She still thinks supplies are an issue and she should apologize for just stuffing her face this way.]
IV. Personal Quarters - closed close CR
[Clara spends as little time as possible in the room she shares with the Doctor. She finds herself not really wanting or needing to sleep those first handful of days back, only getting some catnaps here and there around the station. But when she finally feels disgusting and in ready of freshening up, she makes her way back to her quarters at long last.
After cleaning up and getting a change of clothes, she spends an extraordinary amount of time looking in the small mirror hanging on the wall by her bed. Typically her ego doesn't see any issue with admiring her reflection. Her purpose for looking today has little to do with how amazing her hair looks or how on point her eyeliner is. No, she's far more concerned about something else. It's easy to pretend like she hasn't been gone at all with the others. When it comes to the Doctor...well, she has her concerns. He'll be able to tell she's different immediately, just from the look in her eyes.
But it's the number that's tattooed on the back of her neck that she's worried about. Is it even still there? Clara gathers up her short hair to lift it up and turn in a way she can look at what she's afraid will be there. And sure enough, the numbers 001 are there, taunting her. There's no escaping the chronolock. Even here in another dimension and possibly even another universe entirely it follows her. It's a reminder of what she has waiting for her. Of what she has to hide from the man that's willing to tear the fabric of the universe apart if it means protecting her.
No matter what happens, the Doctor can never know her fate.
She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the door open at first. Her close friends know they're always able to just come inside, and it's likely the Doctor could pop back in as well. As soon as she realizes she's not alone her hair is dropped, hopefully masking any sign of the fact she's marked with a permanent countdown. She forces a smile, though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. She's able to keep her tone as fond and teasing as ever, which is a win. Banter is exactly what she needs to cheer up right about now.]
Let me guess. You want me to come see something you've done that shows how amazingly clever you are?
LOCATION: Around the station
DATE: 10/17-10/21
CONTENT: Clara pops back onto the station after a canon update
WARNINGS: Mentions of death
I. Twice Returned
[Time is such a funny thing, really. In her time spent traveling with the Doctor, she's come to understand that it can be such a meaningless thing. Except for when it's important. And in the series of events that have just unfolded for her, time feels incredibly important. Vital, even.
The thing is, she remembers being on the station before. Remembers her friends there, and the missions. And she remembers the orbs. It had all been one big adventure before. But then she was sent back, gone in a blink of an eye. For those close to her, it's not likely they even will notice she's gone. For her though, time passes more slowly. Hours turn to days away, and days to week. Before she knows it, years have passed. Time spent aging and growing, developing into a different person. Clara Oswald has a home on Earth maybe, but she no longer feels the same sort of attachment to it that she once had. With the loss of Danny Pink and the intensity of her connection growing stronger with each adventure after, Clara's left more and more of her life on Earth behind.
Sure, it's fine to tap in and out of London to check in on people like Rigsy. People who are friends. People who -
Well, people who Clara's willing to die for. Her reckless streak has finally caught up to her in the form of a chronolock. One that's recently taken her life. Or maybe it took her life billions of years ago, things are a bit fuzzy at the moment. She recalls coming back, recalls learning the Doctor spent billions of years in a personal hell because of her dying. She recalls stealing her own TARDIS, recalls making the one person she loves more than anyone forget everything about her.
She had done it for his own good, and the good of the universe. It's a bit hard to justify staying together when you know an entire prophecy was written as a warning to keep you apart. It won't do to have their relationship bring on the hybrid.
Which is exactly why she's confused as she's pulled back into the station and has to try and sort things out. Is the Doctor still here, she wonders. Have billions of years passed here too? Only a few days? Weeks?
Time had started to feel meaningless for her.
That was before the raven swooped in and changed everything.
Now it feels increasingly important to pinpoint exact moments in time. Her fingers press against the inside of her left wrist as she slowly navigates the hallways. There's a heartbeat there. But there shouldn't be. When she bumps into someone as she walks she owlishly blinks up at them, her fingers slipping away.]
How long has it been since the last mission?
II. Sunlight Room
[For those that know her well enough, it's easy to tell that something is a little off. She looks a little older in her face, her eyes holding a maturity that she had previously been lacking. She's seen and been through so many things in her time away that being back here almost feels surreal. It doesn't feel like it should be possible.
But she's the impossible girl, or at least she once had been. She knows from experience that anything is possible. Usually she's the one forcing the impossible to happen. There's almost something comical about the fact that she finally was in full control of her own destiny. She had the ability to be the Doctor in her own right, traveling whenever and wherever she wanted. She could face her death when she was ready and go back to it the long way around.
She finally had all the control she wanted, only to have it torn away from her again. But she knew now she had a distinct purpose for being here. She couldn't remember her regret from before, but knew that it couldn't be as important as the one she wanted to undo now. She would do whatever it took to protect the Doctor. Even if it meant rewriting time itself.
She stands in the sunlight room, head tipped so she can peer up at the artificial light. It's almost like she's looking for something. She hears the sound of someone walking past and reaches out to grab hold of their hand. There's no words at first, no sign of what she wants. Really, she's just desperate for some kind of contact right now. A reminder to anchor her to the reality of being back and having a purpose again.]
Do you think this station had a purpose before we all arrived here?
III. Kitchen
[Apparently coming back to life and getting her heartbeat back means that the threat of being caught between her last heartbeat and death doesn't have to be an immediate threat. What is the immediate issue is that no amount of food seems to be enough. Clara's typically anxious over the amount of supplies on the station and worrying about whether or not everyone has enough. She started her hydroponic garden to help ensure the children have plenty to eat. But now that concern is far from her mind as she camps out in the kitchen and eats.
She spends hours grazing her way around the kitchen, only pausing when she catches sight of someone else entering. Her mouth is usually full when this happens, and she swallows what's in her mouth to try and awkwardly smile.]
Right, so...I can explain.
[She still thinks supplies are an issue and she should apologize for just stuffing her face this way.]
IV. Personal Quarters - closed close CR
[Clara spends as little time as possible in the room she shares with the Doctor. She finds herself not really wanting or needing to sleep those first handful of days back, only getting some catnaps here and there around the station. But when she finally feels disgusting and in ready of freshening up, she makes her way back to her quarters at long last.
After cleaning up and getting a change of clothes, she spends an extraordinary amount of time looking in the small mirror hanging on the wall by her bed. Typically her ego doesn't see any issue with admiring her reflection. Her purpose for looking today has little to do with how amazing her hair looks or how on point her eyeliner is. No, she's far more concerned about something else. It's easy to pretend like she hasn't been gone at all with the others. When it comes to the Doctor...well, she has her concerns. He'll be able to tell she's different immediately, just from the look in her eyes.
But it's the number that's tattooed on the back of her neck that she's worried about. Is it even still there? Clara gathers up her short hair to lift it up and turn in a way she can look at what she's afraid will be there. And sure enough, the numbers 001 are there, taunting her. There's no escaping the chronolock. Even here in another dimension and possibly even another universe entirely it follows her. It's a reminder of what she has waiting for her. Of what she has to hide from the man that's willing to tear the fabric of the universe apart if it means protecting her.
No matter what happens, the Doctor can never know her fate.
She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the door open at first. Her close friends know they're always able to just come inside, and it's likely the Doctor could pop back in as well. As soon as she realizes she's not alone her hair is dropped, hopefully masking any sign of the fact she's marked with a permanent countdown. She forces a smile, though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. She's able to keep her tone as fond and teasing as ever, which is a win. Banter is exactly what she needs to cheer up right about now.]
Let me guess. You want me to come see something you've done that shows how amazingly clever you are?
no subject
The stars, huh?
[ he smiles a little, like it's somewhat fitting for her. closing in on the room, he steps ahead so he can open it up for her, peering inside first to check if kirigan might have come back. finding it still empty, he gives a gesturing nod to invite her inside. ]
The doctor talked about traveling space and planets and, I'm guessing from the way you seemed pretty familiar with them, your history probably goes past this station. Travel together?
no subject
But since they're discussing her favorite subject, the thing that she's most passionate about, it's probably a good thing no one but him can hear her. She's about to sound like a nerd.]
The Doctor and I -
[She hesitates, because it feels incredibly strange to be discussing the man she loves with someone that she has come to care for deeply in a short period of time. In a way, her connection to Takeshi feels very similar to how things had begun with Danny. Simple flirtations turned quickly to something more. Only now that she's older and wiser, she knows not to expect a happily ever after in this circumstance.
There aren't any happy endings for living dead girls.]
We've traveled together for years. We've been to planets across countless galaxies and dimensions, and I never seem to be able to get enough. You meet so many different people, and get wrapped up in trying to help them all. Course, that comes with plenty of trouble, but...well, I'm not ever gonna turn away when there's people out there that need help.
[She wraps her arms around herself at that admission, smiling half heartedly. Her desire to help Rigsy had cost her and the Doctor everything. She tries not to question herself on whether or not it was worth it.]
You'd think I would've learned to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, but I'm not sure I can ever give up recklessly running into the unknown.
no subject
with the door shut, he steps across the room, listening to her speak, and sets upon his bed, his hand reaching back out for her, gently tugging her to coax her to sit at his side.
for a moment, he thinks of quell — i wanted to be an explorer. see other worlds with my own eyes, but ... one life isn't enough time to see the stars, so ... — not surprising since the memory had arisen when the doctor spoke of similar things, of exploration and travel of the universe. but there's something more in listening to clara describe it.
because everything she says clicks together, even without the specifics or details; the way she throws herself into it, evidence of that in the way he's witnessed her so willing from the moment he'd met her, ever curious and ever determined. plenty stubborn too, but considerate as the time she'd tended to his wounds without a second thought. bossy but with a good heart.
no wonder he likes her. ]
Well, since you're here, that's plenty of proof of that. [ of running into the unknown. he means in making the deal that's brought her to the station, but maybe he partly means his room too.
but he thinks back on her words, on when she'd just come back and he looks to her with a steadiness in his gaze. ] You said ... you stopped believing this was one big space fairytale adventure. [ his voice is quiet when he asks, almost hesitantly like he's not sure she'll even answer, ] What happened?
no subject
I died.
[She quietly answers, not bothering to lead into it with a story or soften the blow. Admitting something like that feels like a weight coming off her shoulders. She's joked about death with Erik, but this is different. This is a confession, two words whispered with the certainty that he'll continue to make her feel safe despite the weight of what she's just said.]
It feels like I've lived a thousand lives sometimes. And technically, I have. I split myself apart for him, you know. The Doctor. Jumped right into his timestream without a second thought so I could save him. I can still remember my echoes every now and then, ones that were born so that they could die saving the Doctor. And I guess maybe, in the end, it was always meant to be my fate too.
[Except she didn't die saving the Doctor, but she doesn't want to get into that now. She made the choice to take on the chronolock because it felt like the right choice to make, and maybe also because she knew she'd never allow the Doctor to do it. If he had been the one there in the moment, perhaps he might have. And she never would've forgiven herself for letting it happen.
She was born to save the Doctor.
And this life she has now is just borrowed time. That makes moments like this one, hidden away here with him, all the more special. She realizes that maybe this second chance means she could save herself. Her hand clings hold of his a little tighter, as she leans against him like he's going to save her from herself.]
My being here again only matters if Viveca can help me change my contract.
no subject
what she talks about, about the doctor and timestream, he can imagine they carry plenty of more context and details than what she's saying, that it isn't a scenario he can technically piece together to make sense in its entirety, but she says more than enough — she made a sacrifice and it led her to death. she tried to be a savior but then couldn't be saved.
he swallows. it's a tale he knows too well, the sort of tragedy that comes to those who least deserve. it's because she's clutching to his hand so tightly that he knows she won't be able to feel it tremble.
instead, he leans into her, his lips finding the top of her hair, burying his nose there as he breathes steadily — she's alive, she feels alive — his other hand sliding to cover both of their connected ones. ]
You ... you're trying to make a deal to change it? [ her fate. ]
no subject
The orbs will want me to pay a price. It may be something I'm unwilling to pay. I don't think I could keep going if the Doctor forgets who I am. Not again.
[And that's exactly what she's so afraid the price will be. Her voice is more thick now as tears slip free from her eyes, and she turns her head so she can bury it against his arm. She's not a child though, and she has to face her fears. Including discussing the possibilities of what the cost of changing her contract may be. It's with a shaky exhale that she sits back up, finally able to look him in the eye. Let him see her tears. They won't make her weak in his eyes.]
I may have to accept the fact that once my time here on the station is done, that's all there's ever gonna be. I have to go back and face the end eventually.
[And for all the bravery she has, for all her bravado, the thought of there just being nothing other than this terrifies her.]
no subject
it's all thoughts that run through his mind during his own silence, while she curves her body into him and he could hear the shake in her voice even before she looks up at him to show the presence of her tears.
it differs so much from the girl he'd met, the one trying to put on a brave act. it's even different from the girl who'd slip into his bedroom the last time, so desperate to clutch onto that bravery when she talked about needing to believe they have that chance.
and now he knows why. ]
Hey — [ he shakes his head, eyes looking directly at her tear-stained ones, bringing up a hand to cup her cheek, feeling dampness against his thumb. ] That's not gonna happen.
[ for a man who's known to be a realist, and even more often, a fatalist, he speaks without a second thought, like in his mind, he's already certain about finding a way to make sure of it, to make sure she doesn't have to give up something she isn't ready to, to make sure she doesn't face this end. ]
Remember what I said? We'll figure it out. [ he leans down into her, forehead pressing gently to hers, an arm embracing around her as he keeps a touch of his palm to her cheek. ] You and me. Together. This doesn't change that. I promised you.
no subject
But at the same time, having someone there to carry the weight with her feels like an immense relief. More tears fall, and she can only nod her head in response at first. Her cheek leans into his touch as a soft sob escapes her throat, making her lips quiver. She hates crying, but the tears don't seem to stop right away. All the emotion she's kept bottled up since arriving comes pouring out now, until she's left bare in a way that has her feeling at her most vulnerable.
She's not weak. She refuses to be weak. But she can let him be there for her in this.]
Together. [She finally speaks, turning her head to press a kiss to his palm.] I won't forget you promised.
[She takes a second to try and compose herself without removing herself from the situation, eyes closing as she takes a steadying breath.]
Sorry. I shouldn't have just dropped that on your lap. But I had to tell someone, and I trust you. The Doctor can never know, though. Neither of them can.
no subject
together. and as she turns and gives him that kiss to his palm, it's a sealing of the promise, one that he knows he can't back out of now, one that he won't back out of. in truth, he has no idea exactly how he'd going about it, or even what he could do to make the change, to grant her the guarantee of changing her fate so that she doesn't need to give up anything for it, but he's already determined to make it happen, one idea already floating in his mind that he'll get to asking viveca about later —
for now, his focus in on comforting clara, to make sure she knows she's not alone, that she's safe, that she can trust that he won't let her die —
that'll be a change for you, he hears quell say, the voice of her ghost finding its way back into his head. in moments he's with clara, he can typically push away the hallucination of his old love, like clara can keep him in the moment, drawing him in to where he doesn't lose himself in past regrets. but right now, his failures taunt at him, trying to shake him from the confidence of his promise.
but he won't allow it. ]
I won't tell them. [ another promise for him to keep. he can do that. he leans in, lips soft to her forehead, lingering there. ] And you ... [ he draws back, trying to catch her eyes. ] I got you.
[ another set of words he'd spoken to her once. ones that he didn't realize at the time would carry so much more. but he doesn't regret it. ]
You don't have to carry all of this by yourself anymore.
no subject
Thank you, Tak. For being here.
[She whispers, her words slightly muffled as she leans in to press her lips against his. It's a sweet, heartfelt kiss. She's so grateful to have him, and that he's willing to be there for her. She has the Doctor, and she loves him. But she thinks she can't ever have this with him. That he isn't interested, and it's better to protect him. If she could move on here on the station, maybe this is her chance.]
Do you mind if I stay again?
no subject
and with the way he's found himself feeling in her company, somehow breathing easier, he knows he needs to do whatever it takes to keep her alive.
sighing with the sweetness of her kiss, he nods lightly at her question. ]
Yeah. [ he kisses her again, another sweet thing, soft to her lips. ] Come on.
[ he gives a gentle nudge to her back, just to urge her to lift up for a moment so he can draw back the sheets of his bed, giving her the room to slide in before he gives a tug to his shirt to pull it off (never too comfortable to get into bed with one on), kicking his boots off to the floor. ]
no subject
[She lifts up for a second but hops off the bed a moment later. She has to actually unzip her boots to kick them off, and she makes quick work stripping out of her jeans and sweater. She doesn't really think anything of being in any varying state of undress around him now, and is quick to climb back into bed to be alongside him. Of course, she has to make herself look ridiculous by stumbling over her own boot along the way. She winds up tripping up and hopping on one foot back into the bed, laughing softly as she hurries to tuck herself in close against him.
The way she slips right in and fits perfectly at his side isn't lost on her. But it's also not something she needs to focus on anymore either. It just feels natural and right.]
I want you to know that no matter what happens, even if we're not able to figure out a way to change things...I'm so grateful to be back. Getting closer to you, it's happier than I've been in a long time.
[It feels important for her to let him know that much, so he doesn't do something reckless or stupid in order to help her out. Just him being here can be enough for now.]
And I'm not sure what that means, but I also know it doesn't have to mean anything. Not if you don't want it to.
no subject
from there, it feels as natural as it had the first time, even more so now where it doesn't even require the intimacy to end up together like this. he can't remember the last time he slept by someone's side just for the sake of sleeping without seeking anything else.
but he doesn't expect the words she adds, his eyes watching her quietly as he thinks about what she's telling him,as he tries to piece together the idea of anyone being happier around him.
for a moment, he doesn't say anything at all; holding a conversation usually isn't a difficult task, but with words like that,he isn't sure of what to make it. ]
Clara, I — [ his thumb gives a gentle stroke to her shoulder, lips slightly parted as he peers down to her eyes, like a point of inspiration to better stitch his words. ] I'm not really ... someone who's good with any of this. And chances are, I'm the last asshole whose bed you should be in right now. But —
[ he's definitely no good with this. but he swallows, eyes earnest even in the darkness. ]
I ... like this. With you. [ he raises his fingers, giving a gentle tuck to her hair, combing it back behind her ear. ] Whatever it is.
no subject
[There's no reason to define it. No need for labels, no pressure to figure things out right away. She's not good with things like this, and failed her last relationship spectacularly. This isn't any sort of official relationship, but it's still a chance to be happy in between missions and the fallout that comes along with them.
She shifts just enough that she can press a kiss to his lips, soft and tender. Her fingertips touch at his cheek as she does, thumb working along his jawline. There's a dimpled grin on her face as she pulls away, something that makes her look incredibly pleased with herself.]
And maybe eventually we can figure out what this is.
[It's accented with another peck of a kiss.]
no subject
and now, here there's someone to sleep beside, to breathe a little bit easier with, to quiet down the ghosts, to share in a kiss with like he's already transfixed by the taste of her lips.
no, he really shouldn't make this a habit. but what he's learned fast about clara is that she makes it too easy to not want to say no. ]
Okay. [ he answers quietly, sighing when the stretch of her smile coaxes him to relax. sliding his fingers over hers, he tilts his head to press a kiss gentle to the end of her thumb. ] Consider that an open invitation to my room anytime you want. Which says a lot because I really can't stand having people around.
[ there's a lighter playfulness in those words, his lips giving her a slight smile. ]
no subject
You keep saying things like that, but your actions with me never quite match up to the words.
[She smiles in return, being cheeky enough to actually wink.]
Which is to say, my room's available too. If you're ever feeling up for a change of scenery.
[Are they...casually discussing where to stay like they've been in an established relationship for months? It sure feels that way. she should be unsettled by how easy and quick it is to fall into these habits with him. But it's hard to be anything but at peace.]
no subject
it doesn't matter that he barely knows her, he usually doesn't have to; he has good instincts about people, that envoy intuition of his or something even more innate that he's always carried, telling him the things often unspoken, the things he can just see in someone. and he sees it in her — someone worth protecting, someone worth saving. ]
Well, you're not just "people".
[ she's something else entirely.
his brow quirks up at her invitation in turn, genuinely surprised. ] You don't have roommates? [ he hasn't actually been to her room and he's never asked about her living arrangements, though he realizes he had walked into her room when they met, to which she made quick work of rejecting him moving in, in her typically peppy clara fashion. ]
no subject
I technically have the Doctor as roommates. But neither ever step foot inside the room unless I ask them to.
[She actually has the decency to grimace after saying that, because she knows that other people could use the beds. But there still seems to be enough to go around, even with her lucking in to having roommates that never need to sleep.]
no subject
[ not that he's necessarily surprised. considering all their history, it makes sense that if anyone's sharing a space, it'd be them, especially if the choice is there. his rooming with kirigan was more of an accident than anything, since he and the other man aren't particularly close.
but from what else he's gathered about clara and her relationship with the doctor, there's a bit of hesitance as he looks at her, eyes visibly caught in thought. ]
And that's ... not a problem? Me being there ... with you.
[ it's a bit of multi-directional question. is it fine with the doctor(s) that he'd be with her? is it fine with her to be with someone else there while she ... has the relationship that she has with them? ]
no subject
[She tries to figure out a better way to answer his question beyond that. But her relationship with the Doctor is so layered and complex, she couldn't possibly put it into words.]
I was with someone before. A man named Danny Pink. We weren't together long, but long enough I actually thought I might have a chance at a happy ending. I know better now, obviously, but -
[She has to pause to get out a shaky sigh.]
The Doctor hated him, but when Danny died...he let me manipulate him into trying to save Danny. The Doctor and I, we're close. He's willing to go to hell and back just for me. But it isn't like that. Not in the way you're thinking. I'm not sure it ever can be, or that they ever want it to be. So your being there with me isn't a problem because I want you to be there. Besides, they're married to River. She's here on the station with us.
no subject
but he was the same once too. he thought he and quell could have some kind of future together, even if, at the time, they were already deep into a war where they were already prepared to be sacrifices. it was the only time he thought happy was in the cards for him.
this thing with clara, it's many things, something without a definition as they've both agreed, but whatever he thought was complicated about it, every word she says only seems to add another layer of that. ]
Wait, they ... have a wife?
[ that's ... the first he hears of it. another complexity in whatever he's tried to shape out from what clara's detailed of her relationship with them. but he falls back on certain words in particular — i want you to be there.
(you're the person who's here. so you stay.) ]
As long as you don't make me sleep in their bed, I can work with that.
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[She laughs, amused by the fact he'd even think to bring that up. But about two seconds later, her nose wrinkles up and she almost sounds offended when the next words spill out of her mouth.]
Why would I make you sleep in their bed? I have a perfectly good bed. Honestly.
[Like she'd let him sleep anywhere else.
She hasn't even gotten to the whole Doctor having a wife bit yet. It's complicated, and she's not sure she's ready to dive into what little she knows about River & The Doctor's relationship. She'll just stay in the land of acting like she's truly offended he'd dare suggest he sleep in the Doctor's bed.]
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but she's a distraction with her pout, with her nose all crinkled in faux annoyance. it's easy enough to be reeled back in by it, lips smirking as he brings up a hand to gently pinch the tip of her nose. ]
Don't know, but I got long legs. [ ones that he curves in close against hers, nudging against her thigh. ] Might get in the way. You might wanna steal all the extra room for yourself.
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Trust me when I say that if your legs ever get in the way, I'll be sure to eject you from the bed.
[She's far more likely to either steal all the blankets, or ditch the blankets in the name of intense cuddling. But the ridiculous threat is still out there in the open all the same. And she's sure he completely believes her.]
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[ though, considering the way he answers that with a smirk, there's very little terror from the threat of her kicking him out to the floor. even if a part of him is entirely convinced she really might have the eager fierceness to get those shorter legs to beat his body off of the mattress.
as she grazes a touch along his wrist, she twists his body to lay more on his back, his other hand sliding against his shoulder blades to coax her towards using his chest as a pillow if she wants to get comfortable, even using the tangle of their legs to trap one of hers between his own. ]
You can always trap 'em down. Make sure they don't bother you.
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