ximilialog | open ; catch all for October

Entry tags:

open ; catch all for October

CHARACTERS: Clara Oswald & OPEN
LOCATION: Around the station
DATE: 10/17-10/21
CONTENT: Clara pops back onto the station after a canon update
WARNINGS: Mentions of death

I. Twice Returned
[Time is such a funny thing, really. In her time spent traveling with the Doctor, she's come to understand that it can be such a meaningless thing. Except for when it's important. And in the series of events that have just unfolded for her, time feels incredibly important. Vital, even.

The thing is, she remembers being on the station before. Remembers her friends there, and the missions. And she remembers the orbs. It had all been one big adventure before. But then she was sent back, gone in a blink of an eye. For those close to her, it's not likely they even will notice she's gone. For her though, time passes more slowly. Hours turn to days away, and days to week. Before she knows it, years have passed. Time spent aging and growing, developing into a different person. Clara Oswald has a home on Earth maybe, but she no longer feels the same sort of attachment to it that she once had. With the loss of Danny Pink and the intensity of her connection growing stronger with each adventure after, Clara's left more and more of her life on Earth behind.

Sure, it's fine to tap in and out of London to check in on people like Rigsy. People who are friends. People who -

Well, people who Clara's willing to die for. Her reckless streak has finally caught up to her in the form of a chronolock. One that's recently taken her life. Or maybe it took her life billions of years ago, things are a bit fuzzy at the moment. She recalls coming back, recalls learning the Doctor spent billions of years in a personal hell because of her dying. She recalls stealing her own TARDIS, recalls making the one person she loves more than anyone forget everything about her.

She had done it for his own good, and the good of the universe. It's a bit hard to justify staying together when you know an entire prophecy was written as a warning to keep you apart. It won't do to have their relationship bring on the hybrid.

Which is exactly why she's confused as she's pulled back into the station and has to try and sort things out. Is the Doctor still here, she wonders. Have billions of years passed here too? Only a few days? Weeks?

Time had started to feel meaningless for her.

That was before the raven swooped in and changed everything.

Now it feels increasingly important to pinpoint exact moments in time. Her fingers press against the inside of her left wrist as she slowly navigates the hallways. There's a heartbeat there. But there shouldn't be. When she bumps into someone as she walks she owlishly blinks up at them, her fingers slipping away.]

How long has it been since the last mission?

II. Sunlight Room
[For those that know her well enough, it's easy to tell that something is a little off. She looks a little older in her face, her eyes holding a maturity that she had previously been lacking. She's seen and been through so many things in her time away that being back here almost feels surreal. It doesn't feel like it should be possible.

But she's the impossible girl, or at least she once had been. She knows from experience that anything is possible. Usually she's the one forcing the impossible to happen. There's almost something comical about the fact that she finally was in full control of her own destiny. She had the ability to be the Doctor in her own right, traveling whenever and wherever she wanted. She could face her death when she was ready and go back to it the long way around.

She finally had all the control she wanted, only to have it torn away from her again. But she knew now she had a distinct purpose for being here. She couldn't remember her regret from before, but knew that it couldn't be as important as the one she wanted to undo now. She would do whatever it took to protect the Doctor. Even if it meant rewriting time itself.

She stands in the sunlight room, head tipped so she can peer up at the artificial light. It's almost like she's looking for something. She hears the sound of someone walking past and reaches out to grab hold of their hand. There's no words at first, no sign of what she wants. Really, she's just desperate for some kind of contact right now. A reminder to anchor her to the reality of being back and having a purpose again.]

Do you think this station had a purpose before we all arrived here?

III. Kitchen

[Apparently coming back to life and getting her heartbeat back means that the threat of being caught between her last heartbeat and death doesn't have to be an immediate threat. What is the immediate issue is that no amount of food seems to be enough. Clara's typically anxious over the amount of supplies on the station and worrying about whether or not everyone has enough. She started her hydroponic garden to help ensure the children have plenty to eat. But now that concern is far from her mind as she camps out in the kitchen and eats.

She spends hours grazing her way around the kitchen, only pausing when she catches sight of someone else entering. Her mouth is usually full when this happens, and she swallows what's in her mouth to try and awkwardly smile.]

Right, so...I can explain.

[She still thinks supplies are an issue and she should apologize for just stuffing her face this way.]

IV. Personal Quarters - closed close CR
[Clara spends as little time as possible in the room she shares with the Doctor. She finds herself not really wanting or needing to sleep those first handful of days back, only getting some catnaps here and there around the station. But when she finally feels disgusting and in ready of freshening up, she makes her way back to her quarters at long last.

After cleaning up and getting a change of clothes, she spends an extraordinary amount of time looking in the small mirror hanging on the wall by her bed. Typically her ego doesn't see any issue with admiring her reflection. Her purpose for looking today has little to do with how amazing her hair looks or how on point her eyeliner is. No, she's far more concerned about something else. It's easy to pretend like she hasn't been gone at all with the others. When it comes to the Doctor...well, she has her concerns. He'll be able to tell she's different immediately, just from the look in her eyes.

But it's the number that's tattooed on the back of her neck that she's worried about. Is it even still there? Clara gathers up her short hair to lift it up and turn in a way she can look at what she's afraid will be there. And sure enough, the numbers 001 are there, taunting her. There's no escaping the chronolock. Even here in another dimension and possibly even another universe entirely it follows her. It's a reminder of what she has waiting for her. Of what she has to hide from the man that's willing to tear the fabric of the universe apart if it means protecting her.

No matter what happens, the Doctor can never know her fate.

She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the door open at first. Her close friends know they're always able to just come inside, and it's likely the Doctor could pop back in as well. As soon as she realizes she's not alone her hair is dropped, hopefully masking any sign of the fact she's marked with a permanent countdown. She forces a smile, though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. She's able to keep her tone as fond and teasing as ever, which is a win. Banter is exactly what she needs to cheer up right about now.]

Let me guess. You want me to come see something you've done that shows how amazingly clever you are?

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[There's a soft 'oof' of confusion as she pulls him in for a hug, and the face he makes over her shoulder reflects that same sort of off-guard confusion as he stands there in surprise. His brain catches up a moment and he moves to wrap his arms around her back; even if he isn't quite sure what's up, he still gives her a patented Newton Hug that reflects her own eager energy. Obviously! (While still holding pringles in one hand, of course).]

Uh...! Yeah! Or no? Wait, has it really been that long?

Shit, Clara, I'm sorry. I don't know — I've just been crazy busy with wrapping up some tests and projects, and I knew you were okay, so I didn't check in more like I should've. Time just kind of flies by me; I don't know what I was doing, there.

[If that sounds guilty, that's 'cus it is. That's just way too long not to come visit. He'll be totally pissed at himself if he made her feel unwanted or easy to put on some backburner.]

[She doesn't bother trying to hide things from him, or hint at what's going on for her. She simply pulls back enough to fix him with a look that says to stay quiet for a few seconds.]

You don't have to check in on me.

[But there's a hint of a smile there that says she's glad he does.]

Would you believe it if I told you that whoever is in charge here sent me back home for a while?

Of course I have to check on you! We're soulmate friends. Soulfriends.

[He's been trying to figure out decent shorthand, and that's gonna have to do. But then she says that and completely distracts him from offering some pringles, and instead he stands there dumbly with the small container in his hand. He looks one part worried, one part curious. Worrious. Curried.]

... You went back home? It glitched you out?!

[And he didn't notice?

He's a terrible friend, verified.]

Don't say glitched.

[Clara huffs a little, if only because it makes it sound like she's some kind of mistake. Or bringing her back here was a mistake. It's a bit of a touchy subject, given she shouldn't even be alive right now. So yeah, maybe she's a glitch.]

But I was sent away then pulled back, yeah. On my end, I was gone years. For people here? It seems like I was only gone minutes, so your status as soulfriend remains intact.

[The corner of her mouth tugs upward as she reaches over to yoink the can of pringles from him. She's been craving some junk food lately.]

[That's nonsense, Clara. You're never a mistake. But beside that — he looks her over, still a touch concerned. She doesn't seem hurt or mentally or emotionally tormented... Maybe those years were good years? He can only hope...!]

Well, I am the best soulfriend a soul or a friend could have, so...

[Forget for a moment that he was super worried he just blew his role. He very easily allows her to swipe the can of pringles, because he's a great pal who brought those just for her.]

This place is nuts. Years! What'd you do for years?! Cool space stuff?!

I'm so jealous; you're supposed to take me along on one of those for fun, y'know!

[Her laugh is a little awkward, and she reaches out to press her finger against his lips. She had almost forgotten how much he could talk.]

I have my own spaceship now. We can have all the adventures you want, once we're able to choose when we leave this place.

[She can just imagine the two of them in her tardis, going through all of time and space. He'd be absolutely brilliant. It's that thought that puts a warm smile on her face as her hand drops away from his mouth.]

So yeah, suppose you could say I was up to cool space stuff.

[Newt is bright-eyed and eager to listen to her, honestly; space travels! Time shenanigans! Ever since The Doctor and she had mentioned it, he’d been imagining all kinds of wild scenarios. And — yeah, okay, daydreaming about rocking out with big rockstars. Sue him.

Grinning, he more than happily wanders to go flop down on the edge of her bed (which he is way too acquainted with).]

Man, I wanna hear all about it! It wasn’t too stressful or anything? If you got anything you wanna talk about, we can share and care together. I kinda had something weird I wanted to tell you about, too.

Gimme one of those chips!

[He motions grabby hands; sure, they are absolutely for her, but he’s gonna pilfer one or two while they’re in his line of sight.]

[In response to that, she opens the container and pulls out a stack of pringles. Instead of offering them to him, she pops them all into her mouth and makes a show of munching on them. Once she's done, she closes the container and tosses it over to him.]

You tell me your weird thing first. Then I'll tell you everything. But fair warning, it's a lot. We might be here all night.

[The full-length drama that his expressions go through at her betrayal belongs on Lifetime, I'm tellin ya. But no — no, Newt, focus! He waves his hands, re-centering his thoughts.]

First off — rude!

Second...! Okay — okay, but only because mine's probably way shorter. [He gets himself a little more comfortable, which means he's literally gonna shimmy up the bed and roll onto his stomach with his elbows propping him up like a teenaged girl at a sleepover.] Wait, how much did I even tell you about home? I told you I jumped into an alien's mind to learn secrets that would help save humanity, right?

[He's very proud about that, it's clear. Who wouldn't be, c'mon!]

[She has to admire him lying there in her bed like a teenage girl. He's so ridiculous sometimes that she can't help but smile and indulge in similar behavior. With a nod of her head, she goes over to join him on the bed. ]

You might've mentioned that, yeah.

[It's fond as she says it, even as she reaches over to try and swipe the pringles container from his hands.]

[He smoothly dodges her hands, juggling the can from one hand to the other.]

How about the second time I did it with Hermann? Did I mention that? We both totally got top secret Kaiju intel and helped the team kick some major ass! I didn't think Hermann would, but he was — awesome. It was a totally hot move, okay? Don't tell anyone I ever said that.

[You're his one single confidant regarding his secret pining for a posh asocial scientist!]

[As annoyed as she is trying to grab the can he's juggling, she pauses momentarily to make a motion of zipping her lips. She won't tell a soul. She will, however, attempt to disarm him by leaning down to press a kiss to the tip of his nose. If it distracts him long enough that she can grab the can, she'll take full advantage of that.]

You didn't mention that. Sounds like a very romantic date night.

[Oh, it distracts him completely. She couldn't have picked a better method, and the can is successfully stolen away while he's busy being twitterpated in the friendliest sense of the word.]

HEY!

[But ugh, okay, you win. He leans his hand on his cheek and looks pleased.]

Yup! He felt kinda bad sitting out the first try, so we drifted with this other kaiju, one that tried to eat me a few times? But anyway, we drifted. You know what that does to a person? It's... I dunno. It's like you make that first connection, but bigger. He saw a lot, I saw a lot, but — the point is, when you drift with someone, things are just... different.

You can ask Raleigh about it sometime; he's a Jaeger pilot from home that showed up recently. But yeah...! After that, sometimes people who drift together kind of... collect some traits from their drift partners?

Wait. Someone else from your world is here now?

[She laughs in near disbelief.]

Newt, that's wond...wait, no, shut up. [An eyebrow quirks as she holds up a hand. Is that a good thing? And are you trying to say poor Hermann has absorbed some of your less desirable personality traits?

[She's teasing. really. There's a grin on her face as she pops some pringles into her mouth before tossing the can back over to him. He can have the rest. She's not totally heartless.]

Yup! Super hot pilot named Raleigh. We met one time back home, totally bitched him out first meeting. But we're best pals now! Got muscles and a chiseled jawline, the usual unfair fanfare we've got around here.

[He's eating a chip like a hamster, just to do it.]

Hey!

Whaddya' mean, less desirable? Every inch of me in bursting with desirable traits!

He came to me the other day, desperate for some junk food. And I'm pretty sure I've heard him call someone dude. And he's less anal about being tidy around the lab.

[... Are these all... desirable traits, Newton...????]

[Squints.

Clara wonders if any of those are desirable traits. But since this is Newt and she adores him, she thinks they're all precious traits for him to have. It's incredibly hypocritical of her.]

So you're saying he's become identical to one of my seventh year students. Good on you, Newton.

[She tries her best to keep a stern and critical face, but fails miserably. She winds up shifting so she can slouch and lay next to him, turning to her head to make conversation easier.]

Does he know about...you know?

[Your feelings, Newt. Does he know about your feelings for him.]

[He scoffs in the most dramatic way, the sort of 'bah!' that would make Ebenezer Scrooge proud.

It's better than being soft and vulnerable, right? Right.]

No way! My covert operation skills are totally impeccable. He doesn't have a clue. But even if I were the most obvious person in the world, he probably wouldn't have noticed it.

[He slumps into his palms, fingers nearly covering a blush that starts up in his cheeks.]

... We did, like.

Cuddle.

... On a blanket, under a star simulation.

[His fingers nearly cover up that blush. But she spots it all the same and has to hide her grin behind her hand. She's incredibly happy that Newt's feelings for Hermann are progressing in the right direction, no matter how long it takes.]

Sounds like a date to me.

[She feels like her own chance at happiness with someone is long gone by this point. After Danny's loss, she put her entire being into her travels with the Doctor. And no matter what her feelings for him may be, her own tragic ending means she has no right to barge back into his life the way she's doing here.

She's being selfish by even considering it.

So she'll just have to live vicariously through Newt and his love life.]

I'd say I was jealous, but I'm too happy for you to even consider it.

[And that's the truth.]

It wasn't a date.

[He says it in an attempt to be miffed, but he sucks at it, so he relents:]

But I can totally pretend it was one. [He taps his fingers against his cheek, quiet, like he's trying to decide whether or not he should add to that.] ... Sam told me, back on Braccia... That maybe I should go for it. I mean, he doesn't know who it is; he thinks it's someone back home, but, uh. Anyway. I don't know. I keep going back and forth. It's something to think about.

[He nudges her after a moment. Yep, he's totally gonna speed past that last bit.]

But hey! Tell me about some of your travels! I wanna hear some of the stuff you've done! The whole universe and all of time at your fingertips and all that, right? You said after I said my thing, you'd 'fess up some stuff you've been up to.

[Oh, he's pressing to hear what she's been up to. There's a moment where she seems to go a little pale as she tries to think of lies. Anything to cover up the truth. She can't let him know. But then she realizes that she's so fixated on the trauma that's recently happened to her, that she can't think past it. Of course there's other things she can tell him.]

Well, I wound up engaged in a bank heist. And met a mummy on the Orient Express. Um...the one that travels in space. Obviously.

[She carefully selects happy stories to start out with. It's better if Newt thinks she's had nothing but fun, carefree adventures and that everything is just fine.]

[... Oooookay, something about what she'd just said seems kinda off. When you're soulmate friends with someone, that just comes with the territory. After a moment, he lets it go — for now. As much as he'd like to do his usual thing where he just jumps to the obvious weird struggle she'd had internally, he's been trying to be, uh. Better about bluntly speaking his mind? Being a nosy bitch? Both of those two.]

A mummy? Boris Karloff style? He wasn't an asshole, was he?

They always seem to be assholes in movies.

Exactly Karloff style. Major asshole, kept killing people. I'm pretty sure the Doctor blew up the train in the end to save me.

[She laughs fondly, casually leaving off the part the Doctor also joked about killing everyone else on board the train because only she was worth saving in his eyes.

There's a moment of quiet where she's still, looking down and frowning.]

Newt. Can I tell you something...um...well, let's just call it intense. You wouldn't mind, would you?

[He blinks at her, expression falling.

As much as he's excited by the concept of fighting Karloff mummies...]

Something intense? It's not a bad kind of intense, is it?

[She stares back at him, trying to decide if she's ready to tell him. Or if he's ready to hear. So she smoothly responds, trying not to make it sound like a big deal even though it really is.]

It's a bit of a drag, yeah.

[He takes a deep breath in, then holds it a few seconds.

Okay.

... Okay, that's not ideal. But. He steels himself anyway for whatever it may be.

Soulmate friends, yanno? Gotta be there through thick and thin.]

Alright. I'm here, what's the drag?

open ; catch all for October

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