( open ) and if i only could make a deal with god

[kovach]

CHARACTERS: takeshi kovacs & you
LOCATION: various locations on the station
DATE: late october
CONTENT: post-mission recovery, eating, sparring, getting high, etc.
WARNINGS: broken arm, nudity, sexual content, and various types of drug use in some prompts

I. PRIDE ( limit to 1 tag-in only, cw: broken arm )   the infirmary

---

[ his fight with cheri had turned out pretty rough, and though his sleeve has its advances with neurachem to make him a little more durable than most, it doesn't negate the rough slam of his body against the wall when she'd thrown him with the rough force of her power, resulting in the broken bone of his arm. when they arrive back at the station, most everybody's not in the best of conditions on account of their shared fights, some left better off than others, and though he's more inclined to just pass out right where he lands, kovacs does eventually make his way to the infirmary, still in the bloody, ripped mess of the clothes he arrived in.

he's not exactly expecting anyone to necessarily help him out here, a bit of stubbornness leading him to search around the room for a sling on his own. of course, while the arm is the only thing that's broken, the rest of his body is still plenty aching from the rest of the fighting and he hisses and grits his teeth in the midst of his search, muttering quiet swears as he looks around.

maybe it'd be helpful for someone to lend him a hand. ]

II. GLUTTONY   the mess hall

---

[ once he's got his sling for his arm, along with a fresh shower and clean clothes on, kovacs tries to get himself resettled at the station, at least enough so for him to get some rest after the big fight. starving, he heads on over the kitchen, fixing himself a fairly simply bowl of cereal before he goes out into the mess hall, seating himself at an empty table and picking up the spoon in his bowl with his currently only working hand.

if someone ends up sitting up at his table, his eyes peer over at the rest of the large room with plenty of empty seating before raising his brow at his new shared company. ] No other seats, huh?

III. ENVY ( cw: drug use )   the sunlight room

---

[ it might be something from that final fight, or maybe it's the way he hasn't had anything to keep himself busy since he's been back, but kovacs finds something pestering in his mind, something about his being here bothering him in more ways than he can really place. it's those times where his mind becomes consumed with old ghosts, visions in his mind that seem more real than they are, and so he chooses to fight them in the only way that's currently accessible to him.

in the bright pink backpack brought over with him from his own world, he carries not only a small collection of weapons but an abundance of drugs as well, some on the little harder side than others.

working like eyedrops, he lets the veuron fall into his eyes, feeling the effects of it work into him fast. in mere moments, he can see the colors of the sunlight room almost completely shift, the trees and the flowers suddenly brightening like a hologram of neon lights, the false stars above turning into lined waves of light circling around as his head sways.

bag still over his shoulder, he spins in place, mouth gaping and eyes wide like he's seeing it all for the first time, bright and mesmerizing. ]

IV. SLOTH ( cw: drug use )   the sunlight room

---

[ the hallucinogens aren't the only thing stored in his bag, and when it all becomes too loud, he finds himself seated against the bottom of a tree in the sunlight room, in the late dark of its nights, dropping the contents of a different drug into his eyes, this one with the effects of slowing everything down, everything falling quiet around him, his heart even slowing slightly.

he doesn't need to be high to see her. no, he can always very well see quell like she's right there in front of him, even when he knows she's gone, either as an aftereffect of still being fairly fresh with the sleeve he's wearing or simply because he can never get rid of her in his head — he'd never want to.

to anyone else who might slip by, he'd be staring at nothing right now, eyes focused with his arms dropped at his sides, bag nestled between his thighs, but for him, he can see every detail, every curve of her face as he remembers it vividly, even the sadness of her gaze. ]

I made a deal to get you back. [ he whispers quietly to her, his own eyes damp as he breathes shakily. ] It goes against everything we fought for. Everything you died for. [ with a swallow, his voice is a quiet rasp. ] But I can't do this without you.

V. WRATH   training room

---

[ after about a few days to a week, he can feel the changes in his arm, healing a bit faster than the room, bone repairing from a combination of the tech on the ship on his own body's advantages. and after enough time of his own personal boredom and a frustration is being so limited with his limbs, the first thing he wants to do is make sure it's all in working shape.

heading on over to the training room, unicorn bag slung over his shoulder, his decision on practicing with his hands or a weapon is all dependent on who he may end up fighting against. looking to someone else in the room, he gives them a nod. ] Need a partner?

VI. LUST ( cw: nudity )   shared living space with the darkling

---

[ one thing he's definitely taking advantage of with all his current free time is sleeping, at least for as much as he can when he isn't fighting the sleepless nights, sometimes paired with nightmares of his past. sometimes, the exhaustion kicks in where he even forgets he shares a room, going to bed the way he's most comfortable — completely in the nude.

if there's a knock on the door — be it for him or the darkling, who shares the other half of the space — he'll wake with a muttered swear, rubbing his eyes and sleepily dragging his legs off the bed. too tired to even think of covering up, and often not even thinking of it much even if he were more consciously awake, he stands and heads over to the door, opening it with a deep squint of his eyes and body fully naked. ]

What do you want?

VII. GREED   anything and anywhere

---

( feel free to discuss with me alternative options of the above prompts or something different altogether. if you'd like to discuss a closed starter for me to write, just hit me up on plurk at hepburns or send a pm. ♥ )

Comments

[kovach]

[ the thing about being an envoy is having a unique intuition, the kind that looks carefully at the details, and he can feel something different about her too. the jokes don't differ but there's a change in her voice, in the way she carries herself as she steps into the room.

he watches her closely, in curiosity, reaching to his bedside to snatch his carton of cigarettes. something to keep his hands busy, mostly, one of which is now a bit more healed than it was when he'd arrived back, now out of its sling at least. ]

Yeah, got my ass kicked pretty good last week. [ he can admit that much, at least. he pulls out a cigarette but instead of putting it in his mouth, he spins it between his fingers, like he's distracted with her. ] But what about you? There's ... something different about you.

[bossily]

[If he were the Doctor, she'd counter quickly with reassurances that she's fine and just the same as always. Thankfully, he isn't the Doctor. The need to protect him from the truth isn't there.]

Different how?

[Her words are chosen carefully, and her eyes watch his face to judge his expression. She's more guarded now than she had been the last time they spoke, back when she was younger and more vulnerable and open. She had so much to prove back then. That she was worthy of being here, that she was capable of being a valuable member of the team. That need has been replaced with something more primal. A desperation for survival tends to have a way of putting things into perspective. Right now, all she wants to do is claw her way back into some sense of normalcy here on the station and feel like she's really alive again.]

Choose your answer carefully.

[Her decision on whether or not to continue recklessly flirting with him depends on it.]

[kovach]

[ the sleeve gives him that frequent nicotine addiction that he doesn't typically have otherwise, an itch that constantly needs scratching but despite being prepared to light it up to get that hit, he finds himself more curious in what's going on in her head right now, what's changed since he last saw her.

he lets the cigarette and the carton fall back on the table, bare feet moving across the floor closer to her, like he's observing, studying. her hair's different, shorter, but that's nothing to raise a brow at; anyone can get a haircut. it's more than that. ]

Like your shoulders got heavier. [ his voice is quieter but still in its typical low gravel, a tone that nearly vibrates in his throat whenever he speaks. ] Like you're carrying a hell of a lot more on it and you're trying to hold yourself straight.

[ it's familiar — because he used to be as he recalls seeing her, likely carrying burdens as anyone would, but more adamant about running forward. right now, she seems more restraint, like she's holding back; not unusual in the sense that it's the kind of thing that comes with experience, but the strangeness is in the suddenness, like something's happened since braccia. ]

[bossily]

[He's...actually incredibly good at figuring her out. She feels a growing sense of unease as he studies her and calls her out the way he does. Her hands fidget together more anxiously as she meets his eye, a single eyebrow arched defiantly.]

Trying and failing, feels like.

[She can admit that much at least, not denying anything he's said. She's too tired to bother trying.]

Whoever's in charge here sent me back home for a while. Guess I grew up some while I was away. Stopped believing this was one big space fairytale adventure.

[She shrugs after she says it, almost feeling a sense of loss for who she used to be compared to the person she is now. She'd never go back and change the person she's become, but she knows that she has to do something to keep herself from spiraling out of control to the point she's the same reckless idiot that let herself get killed. ]

[kovach]

[ and there it is, the reason for the change, how the weight of her can shift to an entirely different balance from one moment to the next. he could ask her how that happened, what it means to go back to where they came from and come back so suddenly. maybe it's just some advanced method of needlecasting or a trick of being double sleeved and pulled out from a different point in memory; there's plenty of explanations from his world that could probably describe it, but he doesn't really care about the science, and right now, that doesn't seem at all important compared to the way she says it. ]

You're right, it isn't. Life's pretty fucked and we're all here cause it's been rotten enough for us to want to do something to fix it.

[ it's where he differs from some of the people he's come to meet on this station, people they both know like the doctor who faces everything like a kid playing one elaborate game of discovery, or newton who acts like the station is filled with a bunch of chummy pals on some backpacking camping trip.

kovacs is always going to be the one facing the reality in all of this, and he's not going to sugarcoat it. ]

But you came back. [ his voice is slightly less pessimistic this time, raising a brow at her in turn with a slight tilt of his head. ] So maybe you grew up, but if you're here, that means you're still believing in something. [ at least enough to think that change is possible. it's why they're all here, right? ]

[bossily]

It means I believe in myself. [She corrects him gently, smirking just a little. She's not so foolish anymore to think that she can trust the people in charge here, or expect them to actually undo something as large as her regret.]

And it means now I'm willing to do whatever it takes to uncover the truth about what's going on here.

[Can these orbs really lead to someone's regret being undone? Are they all just being used as pawns? They're both questions on her mind right now.]

Do you really believe we'll get the chance to change a regret?

[kovach]

[ his lips quirk up at her words of believing in herself, possibly looking like a smirk with his face but certainly borderline on a smile. maybe she's changed some, but that sounds like the kind of thing the girl he'd met before might say too.

and then she asks the question that he's asked himself about a thousand times since he's been here, maybe even more since he'd taken part in helping to snatch up an orb himself.

his eyes turn slightly away, head shaking slowly. ]

I don't know. Maybe we don't even deserve one. [ it's not spoken cynically, instead muttered almost with a hint of pity. ] Maybe we're unleashing something worse in exchange for something we have no right to change in the first place.

[ because of course he wants to save her, to save quell, to save the envoys. but the mission of the envoys was to end immortality, to put a stop to power. in trying to save them, he'd just be betraying everything they stood for. and no one should have that kind of power.

he lifts his eyes back to her, catching her eyes, his voice with a touch of self-deprecating humor. ] Guess I stopped believing in fairy tales long before you did.

[bossily]

[She rolls her eyes because the topic is making her uncomfortable. This all is getting too deep and making her think entirely too many things. She's got enough questions on her mind without adding more onto the pile.]

Some of us deserve one.

[And she's not being forthcoming on whether she includes him or herself in that. But she's said it, and it's out there in the open now.]

But that doesn't take away from the fact it feels like we're all being used as pawns. You could have died on that last mission. That can't be a price you're willing to pay.

[Unless he's like her and it is. And in that case, maybe they have more in common than she thought.]

[kovach]

[ it sounds like she hasn't lost all sense of optimism, since she seems more willing to believe that than he is, even if she doesn't specify on who that some is. ]

Obviously we're pawns. That was never in question.

[ whether they'll get anything out of it is what needs asking, but he knows that ultimately these things likely don't give a shit about them. they protected him in his fight against cheri only because of the deal. whatever they want, they want it badly enough to use them however they can.

he stares at her for a longer pause, though, thinking about himself on that mission, what he'd chosen to do. ]

Of course it is. [ he answers quietly, like an exhaled breath. he was reckless then, throwing himself at cheri, urging her on. he took every chance he could, and it didn't matter. ] Doesn't matter if I die — lived too long, anyway. But it does fix it, if that's what it takes, then yeah. Maybe that's the price.

[bossily]

[She could say that his dying would matter to her, but it would be patronizing. Of course his life matters to her, he's her friend. And maybe it would be better to blurt that out rather than focusing on the fact that his words make her incredibly uncomfortable. They hit a little too close to home and Clara can do little more than just stare over at him.

The silence stretches out for what feels like half a minute, until she finally shifts and steps in close enough that she's directly in his personal space.]

Maybe it is.

[She finally speaks, agreeing with him.]

Maybe we die and it fixes things for someone else, and that's the price. But there has to be more than that here for us.

[Her head is tipped just enough that she can look up at him, eyes almost desperately pleading for him to give her some kind of optimism that there's more for them here than just being someone's pawn.]

I need for there to be something more.

[kovach]

[ she steps in closer to him, where even in the partial darkness of his room, lights dim, he could see her eyes so plainly, the way they peer up at him almost expectantly. it's then that he wishes he had lit up his cigarette for a smoke, that he could have had something to focus his attention somewhere else, anywhere but at her.

because it's the kind of look that knows how to carve into his chest, knows how to pick him apart until there's nowhere left to hide. he's seen it before, fallen victim to it, and somehow, right here, with her, he hadn't been prepared to face it again.

his lips part as if to say something, but nothing leaves him, nothing but shutting his mouth again to swallow, his eyes never leaving hers, like he's trapped there. ]

I ... can't promise that to you. [ he's not going to lie to her. because he doesn't know. but his voice isn't harsh either, like she's reeled it in for him somehow and he exhales deeply, speaking quietly. ] But we're here. You and me. So we figure it out.

[bossily]

[He can't promise her anything. And honestly, she's not expecting him to. The edge of desperation that she's feeling right now isn't something that's his responsibility. But he's saying the right words, using phrases like you and me and figure it out. They're incredibly attractive phrases to someone that's desperate for some kind of connection to the living world.

Her teeth press against her lower lip for a second as her dark eyes look up to his face. A light nod shortly follows, agreeing with what he's just said.]

Yeah. How hard could it be to figure out if we work together, right?

[A hand reaches up so she can comb fingers through her hair, pushing it up and out of her face. The dark strands are tucked behind her ear, more a nervous gesture than an act of comfort. But her eyes don't leave his, seeking reassurance in the intensity that she sees there. She hardly knows him, but he's quickly become someone she trusts. He's a friend, someone that's willing to help her figure things here out.

Her eyes look down to his lips, then back up to his eyes.

But we're here. You and me. So we figure it out.

His words replay in her mind as she inches in a little closer. They can figure it out later. Right now, this conversation is steering dangerously close to becoming intense and emotional. She takes control and distracts herself from feeling those emotions by closing the slight difference between them by rising up on her tiptoes to steal a kiss. If her lips are busy against his, then she doesn't have time to keep the conversation going.
]

[kovach]

[ it wouldn't be fair to promise her anything and he's glad that she doesn't ask him to. it happens too many times where people expect him to be something he isn't, to be someone else, and it's more than enough that he's riding someone else's skin, that this body isn't his own and he has to live on the back of someone else's life. he can barely save himself, much less someone else, and with his record, he's only ever been known to let people down.

with the way she looks at him, eyes wide and desperately hopeful for something, he feels the lump in his throat where the guilt lingers. he doesn't owe her anything, they barely even know each other, but he still feels the sense of wanting to give her more — even if he can't.

he doesn't answer her, the question feeling more rhetorical when spoken out loud, like the response is all in the way they look back at one another, how he watches the slide of her fingers in her own hair, how she meets his eyes and keeps him right there with her, seeing the drift of her gaze onto his lips, like a silent signal before she even moves.

this isn't like before, where she prompted teases before kissing his cheek at the arena, a time that's likely so much further back for her now that he knows where she'd somehow gone to; when she steps closer, he can feel that she isn't setting him up this time, a different girl standing in these shoes now when she tips herself higher to reach him. she's so much smaller than he is that he leans down to help in closing that distance, like it's somehow her pulling him down to meet her lips.

but he doesn't fight it either, like maybe there's a part of him that needs this too, too selfish to say no, not when her mouth is warm and it's the closest connection he's had to anything in a while.

bringing his fingers up to graze at her cheek, it's him this time tucking back her hair, touching with a light caress, leaning down and in to taste more of her mouth, eager but gentle all the same. ]

[bossily]

[When he doesn't pull away, Clara feels a weight start to come off her shoulders. She doesn't have to go at this alone. She isn't expected to talk about her feelings or what she's been through. All she has to do is marvel at the feeling of her body pressed against his, and enjoy the sensation of his lips on hers. Her heart is still thundering in her ears, reminding her that she's still on borrowed time.

Is all she has left here on the station? Is this her long way around before she heads back to face the raven? She knows now that she's fully capable of being brave. But she'd much rather face this sort of bravery, the sort that requires her to let down her guard long enough to allow intimacy. There's no strings that have to be attached to this, at least not with him.

She knows he won't assume this is anything more than two people coming together because they both need a connection. It doesn't have to be anything more than that, and it's exactly what she needs right now.

It's Clara that deepens the kiss, one of her hands slipping behind his head to thread fingers through his hair. With her fingers tangled there, it's easy to keep him right where she wants him, and occasionally give a little tug to counter the gentleness that he's using with her. Her other hand drifts to rest against his hip, fingers pressing firmly against the sheet that's tied around his waist. She doesn't make a move to tug and let it slip away, doesn't dare cross that line.

Not yet.

She waits until her head is swimming to break away, dipping her head so that her forehead is pressed in against his chest. The hand on the back of his head slips away, but the one against his hip remains in place. It's what's keeping her anchored to him in the moment.]

Sorry. I should've asked before doing that.

[She apologizes in a whisper, a breathy laugh slipping free.]

Though you didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

[kovach]

[ this is much easier than answering questions, than trying to figure out their purpose here, in whether any of it even really matters, if being here is going to make any kind of difference for the things that brought them here in the first place. kissing her means not having to think about his own guilt, of the people he's left behind and let down, of mistakes he wants to erase, of whether second chances are deserved at all.

her fingers move into his hair, short strands given light tugs that draw him more firmly in seeking out her mouth, responding to her deepening press of the kiss with no reservations, especially when she's reaching for a touch at his hip that in turn has him press his hand to her back, urging her as close as their heights allow while their lips move together.

when she draws away, he's breathless, eyes remaining closed as she tucks in to his chest. at her height, it's easy for him to merely bend his head down, his nose tucking into her hair as he sighs, hand still light at her spine as his other fingers curl against her nape. ]

Thought you might've missed my cheek this time.

[ it's a quiet joke, referencing a time from however long ago for her, but his voice is still gentle, almost a whisper to her hair as his fingers brush against her back. ]

But I don't mind. And if you want to leave it at that, that's fine. Won't judge. Won't ask. [ one kiss to let off a little steam from an intense moment, he'd needed it to. but he doesn't let her go, touch still gentle, thumb stroking a touch at the nape of her neck as his lips whisper against her temple. ]

Or you can stay and I can kiss you again. Whatever you want.

[bossily]

[She's quiet for a few moments as she tries to decide the best course of action. She's got an abundance of self-respect that's telling her he'll look down on her if she stays. But she knows that isn't true, knows he wouldn't be inviting her to stay if he thought so little of her.

She almost pulls away.

Almost.

It's the fact that he feels warm and solid against her and makes her feel safe and alive that keeps her planted firmly in place. There's a slow exhale as she lifts her head, eyes meeting his once again.

She hasn't been with another man since Danny. Leaping back into physical intimacy with someone after so long almost makes her feel guilty. She knows she shouldn't, but there's an edge of uncertainty there that tells her she's a terrible person. That Kovacs will think the same thing if she presses for more, no matter how much she's craving it.

He's not judging her though. He just said so himself. That's enough to let her be brave and open with what she needs.]

I want to stay.

[She admits without hesitation or a need to cover up her desire with some sort of teasing, witty remark. The hand against his hip shifts, fingers curling into the fabric there. There's a gentle tug as she kisses him once again, eager to taste him again.]

[kovach]

[ whatever her choice, he's not going to judge her nor is he going to have any kind of expectation from this. because he knows the danger in that, knows the role he plays in something like this, a temporary escape in the face of all things horrible, and he accepts that as his reality. it was the same with kristin some short time before he first arrived here, and with clara being the first person he's kissed like this since then, it's almost like stepping back into that same purpose.

but it isn't like he's getting nothing from this; for all that he's enjoyed a run of occasional flirting, even came to appreciate the view of a series of naked dancers back in braccia, it's nothing compared to the sort of intimacy that comes with touch, with his fingers sliding soft through her hair, with her hand clutched at his hip, the fall of her breath warm against his chest before she raises his eyes to him.

he needs this, too, needs to feel wanted by someone, if only for a little while, and while he won't say it as to not steer her choice one way or another, he wants her to stay.

when she says it out loud, he exhales a held breath, sighing into the kiss that she presses up into his mouth, this time pouring that relief into something more passionate, leaning into her with a fervent press of his lips.

the sheet isn't tied so tightly around his waist that it wouldn't take much to loosen free, and with her slight tug, he feels it go slack down his hips, snagging it with his own fingers to pull out of the way before his hands reach for the back of her thighs, grasping to lift her up against his chest, mouth breathless but still kissing her as he carries her to the bed. ]

[bossily]

[She's half expecting for him to politely turn her away, even after he invited her to stay. When he doesn't, there's an initial moment of panic. The fear of being close to someone in a way that could possibly leave herself open to be hurt is terrifying. But this isn't the start of a relationship. She cares for him, but at the end of the day, he's going to remain her close friend.

This is safe. It's alright. There's nothing she needs to waste time overthinking. All she needs to do is let instinct take over so she can just live in the moment. The sensation of being lifted is enough to remind her of that. Her legs wrap around him, freeing up her hands to lightly press against his cheeks. Fingers dip to curl against his warm skin, though her touch slips away so she can start working at her dress.

She's incredibly grateful she chose to wear something simple. They won't have to waste time fiddling with her usual layers. Of course, it's a little awkward to try unzipping your own dress while you're carried to bed. The zip stalls halfway down and she curses in between kisses, a laugh slipping past her lips to be muffled against his.]

Sssh. [She quickly interjects before nipping at his lip, an attempt to ward away any mocking for her impatience to get as naked as he is.]

[kovach]

[ even when he picks her up, taking the steps across the room to work his way closer to the bed, he's not necessarily in a rush to get there. her body is plenty light, easy enough to carry that he's not at all bothered by the weight of her lifted from her thighs by strong calloused hands. and when her fingers linger, touching his cheeks with a gentle caress, it's a welcome distraction, even pausing in his steps for a moment to focus on the return of his kiss.

he can feel the shift of her body though when she starts to try working off her dress, and with her muttered swear, he can't hold back the amusement in his grin, more of a light smirk, but a genuine reaction that differs from the signature neutral scowls etched on his lips.

chuckling with her light nip to his lips, he hums his response, ] I got it.

[ when his legs hit the edge of the bed, rather than lay her down atop it, he turns his own body, taking a seat and bringing her down with him so she's straddled over his lap. freeing his hands from her thighs, he reaches to finish off the pull of the zipper, giving it a stronger yank to smooth it out along the path of the teeth. once it's loosened enough, he gives her a rather affectionate smirk as he leans back to pull her dress free up over her head. ]

[bossily]

[She thanks her lucky stars that he guides her to straddle him. A hint of a smirk tugs at the corner of her lips as she rises up on her knees just enough to let him pull her dress free. It's easily tugged off, and she pulls it out of his hands so she can toss it onto the floor.

Still resting on her knees against the bed, she realizes that for once she's taller than he is. Not one to just let that go to waste, she takes advantage of the position so she can curl forward over him. Her lips seek out his once more, more heated and insistent this time. She kisses him with hunger and a quiet desperation as her hand slips upward, palm pressing gently against his cheek.

She takes her time with him now, any impatience forgotten as she simply enjoys the way he feels beneath her. Her other hand that's resting against his chest slips downward, stopping briefly to press against his stomach. It doesn't stay in place there for long before her touch drifts down lower still. Her fingers curl around his length, lightly touching and slowly stroking.

Her lips break from his long enough to catch her breath, and with a contented sigh her forehead rests against his. Knees shift as her thighs press against his legs more firmly, and she lowers herself to rest in his lap once more.]

You're sure this is okay?

[He's not judging her, maybe. But she wants to hear him say he wants this and he's not just doing it to appease her.]

[kovach]

[ he could have laid her down on the bed, but aside from this position making it easier to undress her, there's something satisfying in seeing her sway over him like this, leveling out their heights more to where it's easier to kiss. and he doesn't mind at all that the control is practically left in her hands, when it's her that leans in over him, taking his lips with her own, leaving him to succumb fully to her kiss as she locks his body between her thighs.

even her fingers have a power of her own, the touch to his cheek leaving him to sigh against her mouth, one quick breath before her kiss takes him more fervently, heat in her lips that keep him well occupied with a fueling desire. there's no real secret to his own want, to the way he seeks her kiss, to his palms sliding against her bare thighs, sloping up against her back, strong fingertips kneading the length of her spine as he holds her close. it's all distracting enough that he only half focuses on the descent of her fingers, right until she's reaching between their bodies and wrapping her fingers around him.

he shudders against her lips with a quiet groan as she draws back, his breath shaking as he slowly grows hard from the relaxed strokes of her touch.

with their heads tipped together, he can't get a focused look at her eyes, but he can see her mouth, soft and wet from their kiss. ]

I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't.

[ his voice is quiet, honest, while his breath shakes in being touched. for all that he likes sex, it's not something he'd do just for the sake of doing it, even if his casual and nonchalant attitude about most things would suggest otherwise. there's a trust here, something understanding and unspoken between them, that feels different than if it were just anybody.

he says it without words, lifting his hand to gently caress over her cheek, a calloused but gentle graze of his thumb tracing across her lip, feeling the steady heat of her breath before he kisses her again, soft to start before leaning in for something deeper, making sure she knows the extent of his want. ]

[bossily]

[That's reassurance enough. A hum of approval forms on her lips as he leans in once again to kiss her. There's no rush here, no need to get this done quickly and slink away in shame. She can feel him growing hard beneath her touch, and she slows the relaxed strokes to something almost teasingly slow.

Her hand shifts slower and slower still until she stops completely, smirking as she breaks the kiss and leans back enough to slip free of her bra in a quick motion. Her knickers are next, of course, but there's no real rush. Not yet.

A hand presses against his chest, guiding him to lie back against the bed with a gentle push. She's towering over him this way, giving him an almost full view of her body.

She's smiling when she shifts to lean down over him once more. There's a kiss to his forehead as one of her fingers traces along his jawbone, and another kiss to the tip of his nose as her finger runs along his lip. She laughs at that, of course, because she feels relaxed around him enough that this casual intimacy is something she's fine with.

Her lips seek out his, the kiss quickly deepening once more. Her hips rock a bit as does, the friction enough to satisfy her for now. Still, that final barrier between them needs to go. She's not in a rush, but...

There's no time like the present to feel her completely naked body against his.

A huff sounds off against his lips as she tries to tug and wriggle her way out of her panties without stopping completely.]

[kovach]

[ the way she slows down her fingers is almost cruel, breathless with a grunt when she comes to a full stop, her lips shifting and smirking against his that for a second, he almost considers she might just leave him exactly like this, urging him on before drawing away, almost like her old trick with dodging his lips to kiss his cheek.

on the plus side, stopping to get herself more undressed is a good alternative, especially when she presses him down onto his back and gives him the full view with nothing covering her chest, her straddle making it all the better to appreciate, like he almost doesn't need the touch of her fingers to feel the inspiration.

but it's the softness of her kisses that really surprise him, when she leans in and pecks those kisses to different parts of his skin, and he can't help but breathe out a chuckle, even smiling when she finally gets back to his lips. it's not the way he usually imagines these things to go, not with the kind of playfulness she provides, hints that assure him she hasn't changed entirely from the girl he first met at this station, the one who joked about bringing him to his knees, who pretended to treat him like a brother in braccia despite her teases suggesting otherwise.

it's strange to feel the ease of it, to feel this relaxed, but it's plenty good too while she's rolling her hips, the weight of her grind coaxing another moan against her kiss, his palms grasping at her waist to feel the teasing roll of those movements in her muscles, proving to be a little more anxious now for getting her fully undressed.

and when he can feel her moving to try working off her panties, like she's trying to get away with it without pulling herself away, the same way she'd tried with her dress, he laughs breathlessly again. but just like her, he doesn't want to ease her off, too content with the heated friction rolling down against him, so he intervenes yet again, as he'd done with her dress, this time by snagging the the straps with both of his hands, gripping it with his fingers on each side and giving it a firm tug, using his slightly advanced strength, to simply tear the fabric free.

whoops? this time it's him nipping at her lip, a sly smirk on his lips to show just how apologetic he is. ]

[bossily]

[There's something to the softness he inspires within her that has her on edge. They aren't romantically interested in one another, they aren't long term lovers. But there's a gentle sweetness to their soft, breathy laughs and the way he allows her to kiss him in more playful ways that has her questioning how this is going to end.

Then his fingers give a tug at her panties and manage to literally rip them off her body. She gives a sharp gasp as she hears the thin fabric tear, but isn't actually upset about it.

She teases him with a nip to his lip in counter protest, causing their teeth to brush against one another in the process. Now that any pesky layers are out of the way though, she settles and makes a content hum as she shifts against him once more. Her hips angle as both hands press against his chest, keeping him in place. It's not that she minds him moving, it's more that she gets off on being completely in control.

With her palms splayed firmly against him, she leans back so she's sitting up fully atop him. There's a second where one of her hands retreats so she can push hair behind her ear, but soon it's right back in place. With a slight exhale she rises up, positioning herself so she can bare down and guide him into position within her. There's a time and a place for tons of foreplay, but this isn't about that.

Maybe next time, if there is one, they can really take their time. She's too focused on the desperation to feel alive and feel anything at all as she slowly sinks down on his hardened length. The initial feeling is enough to make her bite at her lip as she tries to hold back a quiet murmur of arousal. ]

Don't move till I say to.

[It's not a request, but a gentle command. She needs a moment to adjust so the building emotions and sensation she's feeling don't mingle together in a way that overwhelms her.]

[kovach]

[ he almost laughs against the attempt at a bite to his lips, with that bump of teeth that doesn't make it all any less satisfying, especially when she gasps from the surprise of him ripping her underwear. it's something they could concern themselves with later, whereas right now it's all about the need to rid themselves of every possible layer, more satisfied to feel all bare skin everywhere they touch, from the soft press of her breasts to his chest when she kisses him, to the heat of her naked thighs trapping him down at his hips.

for a brief moment, he tries to chase her mouth on instinct, like a part of him isn't done with tasting her kisses, but her hands press him down, keeping him stationed against the mattress as she hovers above him. there's no protest from him then, captivated by the look of her, by her breathless mouth all pink and swollen from kisses, by the tuck of her hair that shows off the soft flush of her cheeks and the look of determination in her eyes, by the way she curves her body to position herself down against him.

her hands splay at his chest, over scars that aren't his own, save for a few of the fresher ones he's received in the recent months, some back on earth in bay city, and some in the fight at braccia. against her palm, his heart beats fast, a heart that isn't his but thumps with his own adrenaline, his own arousal, his own want of her in this very moment.

he tenses naturally when she starts to lower herself, when he feels the heat of her surround him, and his breath shakes but he exhales deeply when she tells him not to move. his hands are already sloped over her thighs, stroking at naked skin but he doesn't move otherwise. ]

Yeah. [ it's barely a word, more a hushed gruff breath, but it's cooperative and more than willing. he wants to hold her, cradle her close, find her lips, kiss her skin, make her moan — but he wants to watch her too, wants her to use him every way that she wants, and with the way she feels against his body, he doesn't care about anything else but this. ]