ximilialog | ( open ) and if i only could make a deal with god

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( open ) and if i only could make a deal with god

CHARACTERS: takeshi kovacs & you
LOCATION: various locations on the station
DATE: late october
CONTENT: post-mission recovery, eating, sparring, getting high, etc.
WARNINGS: broken arm, nudity, sexual content, and various types of drug use in some prompts

I. PRIDE ( limit to 1 tag-in only, cw: broken arm ) the infirmary

[ his fight with cheri had turned out pretty rough, and though his sleeve has its advances with neurachem to make him a little more durable than most, it doesn't negate the rough slam of his body against the wall when she'd thrown him with the rough force of her power, resulting in the broken bone of his arm. when they arrive back at the station, most everybody's not in the best of conditions on account of their shared fights, some left better off than others, and though he's more inclined to just pass out right where he lands, kovacs does eventually make his way to the infirmary, still in the bloody, ripped mess of the clothes he arrived in.

he's not exactly expecting anyone to necessarily help him out here, a bit of stubbornness leading him to search around the room for a sling on his own. of course, while the arm is the only thing that's broken, the rest of his body is still plenty aching from the rest of the fighting and he hisses and grits his teeth in the midst of his search, muttering quiet swears as he looks around.

maybe it'd be helpful for someone to lend him a hand. ]

II. GLUTTONY the mess hall

[ once he's got his sling for his arm, along with a fresh shower and clean clothes on, kovacs tries to get himself resettled at the station, at least enough so for him to get some rest after the big fight. starving, he heads on over the kitchen, fixing himself a fairly simply bowl of cereal before he goes out into the mess hall, seating himself at an empty table and picking up the spoon in his bowl with his currently only working hand.

if someone ends up sitting up at his table, his eyes peer over at the rest of the large room with plenty of empty seating before raising his brow at his new shared company. ] No other seats, huh?

III. ENVY ( cw: drug use ) the sunlight room

[ it might be something from that final fight, or maybe it's the way he hasn't had anything to keep himself busy since he's been back, but kovacs finds something pestering in his mind, something about his being here bothering him in more ways than he can really place. it's those times where his mind becomes consumed with old ghosts, visions in his mind that seem more real than they are, and so he chooses to fight them in the only way that's currently accessible to him.

in the bright pink backpack brought over with him from his own world, he carries not only a small collection of weapons but an abundance of drugs as well, some on the little harder side than others.

working like eyedrops, he lets the veuron fall into his eyes, feeling the effects of it work into him fast. in mere moments, he can see the colors of the sunlight room almost completely shift, the trees and the flowers suddenly brightening like a hologram of neon lights, the false stars above turning into lined waves of light circling around as his head sways.

bag still over his shoulder, he spins in place, mouth gaping and eyes wide like he's seeing it all for the first time, bright and mesmerizing. ]

IV. SLOTH ( cw: drug use ) the sunlight room

[ the hallucinogens aren't the only thing stored in his bag, and when it all becomes too loud, he finds himself seated against the bottom of a tree in the sunlight room, in the late dark of its nights, dropping the contents of a different drug into his eyes, this one with the effects of slowing everything down, everything falling quiet around him, his heart even slowing slightly.

he doesn't need to be high to see her. no, he can always very well see quell like she's right there in front of him, even when he knows she's gone, either as an aftereffect of still being fairly fresh with the sleeve he's wearing or simply because he can never get rid of her in his head — he'd never want to.

to anyone else who might slip by, he'd be staring at nothing right now, eyes focused with his arms dropped at his sides, bag nestled between his thighs, but for him, he can see every detail, every curve of her face as he remembers it vividly, even the sadness of her gaze. ]

I made a deal to get you back. [ he whispers quietly to her, his own eyes damp as he breathes shakily. ] It goes against everything we fought for. Everything you died for. [ with a swallow, his voice is a quiet rasp. ] But I can't do this without you.

V. WRATH training room

[ after about a few days to a week, he can feel the changes in his arm, healing a bit faster than the room, bone repairing from a combination of the tech on the ship on his own body's advantages. and after enough time of his own personal boredom and a frustration is being so limited with his limbs, the first thing he wants to do is make sure it's all in working shape.

heading on over to the training room, unicorn bag slung over his shoulder, his decision on practicing with his hands or a weapon is all dependent on who he may end up fighting against. looking to someone else in the room, he gives them a nod. ] Need a partner?

VI. LUST ( cw: nudity ) shared living space with the darkling

[ one thing he's definitely taking advantage of with all his current free time is sleeping, at least for as much as he can when he isn't fighting the sleepless nights, sometimes paired with nightmares of his past. sometimes, the exhaustion kicks in where he even forgets he shares a room, going to bed the way he's most comfortable — completely in the nude.

if there's a knock on the door — be it for him or the darkling, who shares the other half of the space — he'll wake with a muttered swear, rubbing his eyes and sleepily dragging his legs off the bed. too tired to even think of covering up, and often not even thinking of it much even if he were more consciously awake, he stands and heads over to the door, opening it with a deep squint of his eyes and body fully naked. ]

What do you want?

VII. GREED anything and anywhere

( feel free to discuss with me alternative options of the above prompts or something different altogether. if you'd like to discuss a closed starter for me to write, just hit me up on plurk at hepburns or send a pm. ♥ )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ she steps in closer to him, where even in the partial darkness of his room, lights dim, he could see her eyes so plainly, the way they peer up at him almost expectantly. it's then that he wishes he had lit up his cigarette for a smoke, that he could have had something to focus his attention somewhere else, anywhere but at her.

because it's the kind of look that knows how to carve into his chest, knows how to pick him apart until there's nowhere left to hide. he's seen it before, fallen victim to it, and somehow, right here, with her, he hadn't been prepared to face it again.

his lips part as if to say something, but nothing leaves him, nothing but shutting his mouth again to swallow, his eyes never leaving hers, like he's trapped there. ]

I ... can't promise that to you. [ he's not going to lie to her. because he doesn't know. but his voice isn't harsh either, like she's reeled it in for him somehow and he exhales deeply, speaking quietly. ] But we're here. You and me. So we figure it out.

[He can't promise her anything. And honestly, she's not expecting him to. The edge of desperation that she's feeling right now isn't something that's his responsibility. But he's saying the right words, using phrases like you and me and figure it out. They're incredibly attractive phrases to someone that's desperate for some kind of connection to the living world.

Her teeth press against her lower lip for a second as her dark eyes look up to his face. A light nod shortly follows, agreeing with what he's just said.]

Yeah. How hard could it be to figure out if we work together, right?

[A hand reaches up so she can comb fingers through her hair, pushing it up and out of her face. The dark strands are tucked behind her ear, more a nervous gesture than an act of comfort. But her eyes don't leave his, seeking reassurance in the intensity that she sees there. She hardly knows him, but he's quickly become someone she trusts. He's a friend, someone that's willing to help her figure things here out.

Her eyes look down to his lips, then back up to his eyes.

But we're here. You and me. So we figure it out.

His words replay in her mind as she inches in a little closer. They can figure it out later. Right now, this conversation is steering dangerously close to becoming intense and emotional. She takes control and distracts herself from feeling those emotions by closing the slight difference between them by rising up on her tiptoes to steal a kiss. If her lips are busy against his, then she doesn't have time to keep the conversation going.
]

[ it wouldn't be fair to promise her anything and he's glad that she doesn't ask him to. it happens too many times where people expect him to be something he isn't, to be someone else, and it's more than enough that he's riding someone else's skin, that this body isn't his own and he has to live on the back of someone else's life. he can barely save himself, much less someone else, and with his record, he's only ever been known to let people down.

with the way she looks at him, eyes wide and desperately hopeful for something, he feels the lump in his throat where the guilt lingers. he doesn't owe her anything, they barely even know each other, but he still feels the sense of wanting to give her more — even if he can't.

he doesn't answer her, the question feeling more rhetorical when spoken out loud, like the response is all in the way they look back at one another, how he watches the slide of her fingers in her own hair, how she meets his eyes and keeps him right there with her, seeing the drift of her gaze onto his lips, like a silent signal before she even moves.

this isn't like before, where she prompted teases before kissing his cheek at the arena, a time that's likely so much further back for her now that he knows where she'd somehow gone to; when she steps closer, he can feel that she isn't setting him up this time, a different girl standing in these shoes now when she tips herself higher to reach him. she's so much smaller than he is that he leans down to help in closing that distance, like it's somehow her pulling him down to meet her lips.

but he doesn't fight it either, like maybe there's a part of him that needs this too, too selfish to say no, not when her mouth is warm and it's the closest connection he's had to anything in a while.

bringing his fingers up to graze at her cheek, it's him this time tucking back her hair, touching with a light caress, leaning down and in to taste more of her mouth, eager but gentle all the same. ]

[When he doesn't pull away, Clara feels a weight start to come off her shoulders. She doesn't have to go at this alone. She isn't expected to talk about her feelings or what she's been through. All she has to do is marvel at the feeling of her body pressed against his, and enjoy the sensation of his lips on hers. Her heart is still thundering in her ears, reminding her that she's still on borrowed time.

Is all she has left here on the station? Is this her long way around before she heads back to face the raven? She knows now that she's fully capable of being brave. But she'd much rather face this sort of bravery, the sort that requires her to let down her guard long enough to allow intimacy. There's no strings that have to be attached to this, at least not with him.

She knows he won't assume this is anything more than two people coming together because they both need a connection. It doesn't have to be anything more than that, and it's exactly what she needs right now.

It's Clara that deepens the kiss, one of her hands slipping behind his head to thread fingers through his hair. With her fingers tangled there, it's easy to keep him right where she wants him, and occasionally give a little tug to counter the gentleness that he's using with her. Her other hand drifts to rest against his hip, fingers pressing firmly against the sheet that's tied around his waist. She doesn't make a move to tug and let it slip away, doesn't dare cross that line.

Not yet.

She waits until her head is swimming to break away, dipping her head so that her forehead is pressed in against his chest. The hand on the back of his head slips away, but the one against his hip remains in place. It's what's keeping her anchored to him in the moment.]

Sorry. I should've asked before doing that.

[She apologizes in a whisper, a breathy laugh slipping free.]

Though you didn't seem to mind in the slightest.

[ this is much easier than answering questions, than trying to figure out their purpose here, in whether any of it even really matters, if being here is going to make any kind of difference for the things that brought them here in the first place. kissing her means not having to think about his own guilt, of the people he's left behind and let down, of mistakes he wants to erase, of whether second chances are deserved at all.

her fingers move into his hair, short strands given light tugs that draw him more firmly in seeking out her mouth, responding to her deepening press of the kiss with no reservations, especially when she's reaching for a touch at his hip that in turn has him press his hand to her back, urging her as close as their heights allow while their lips move together.

when she draws away, he's breathless, eyes remaining closed as she tucks in to his chest. at her height, it's easy for him to merely bend his head down, his nose tucking into her hair as he sighs, hand still light at her spine as his other fingers curl against her nape. ]

Thought you might've missed my cheek this time.

[ it's a quiet joke, referencing a time from however long ago for her, but his voice is still gentle, almost a whisper to her hair as his fingers brush against her back. ]

But I don't mind. And if you want to leave it at that, that's fine. Won't judge. Won't ask. [ one kiss to let off a little steam from an intense moment, he'd needed it to. but he doesn't let her go, touch still gentle, thumb stroking a touch at the nape of her neck as his lips whisper against her temple. ]

Or you can stay and I can kiss you again. Whatever you want.

[She's quiet for a few moments as she tries to decide the best course of action. She's got an abundance of self-respect that's telling her he'll look down on her if she stays. But she knows that isn't true, knows he wouldn't be inviting her to stay if he thought so little of her.

She almost pulls away.

Almost.

It's the fact that he feels warm and solid against her and makes her feel safe and alive that keeps her planted firmly in place. There's a slow exhale as she lifts her head, eyes meeting his once again.

She hasn't been with another man since Danny. Leaping back into physical intimacy with someone after so long almost makes her feel guilty. She knows she shouldn't, but there's an edge of uncertainty there that tells her she's a terrible person. That Kovacs will think the same thing if she presses for more, no matter how much she's craving it.

He's not judging her though. He just said so himself. That's enough to let her be brave and open with what she needs.]

I want to stay.

[She admits without hesitation or a need to cover up her desire with some sort of teasing, witty remark. The hand against his hip shifts, fingers curling into the fabric there. There's a gentle tug as she kisses him once again, eager to taste him again.]

[ whatever her choice, he's not going to judge her nor is he going to have any kind of expectation from this. because he knows the danger in that, knows the role he plays in something like this, a temporary escape in the face of all things horrible, and he accepts that as his reality. it was the same with kristin some short time before he first arrived here, and with clara being the first person he's kissed like this since then, it's almost like stepping back into that same purpose.

but it isn't like he's getting nothing from this; for all that he's enjoyed a run of occasional flirting, even came to appreciate the view of a series of naked dancers back in braccia, it's nothing compared to the sort of intimacy that comes with touch, with his fingers sliding soft through her hair, with her hand clutched at his hip, the fall of her breath warm against his chest before she raises his eyes to him.

he needs this, too, needs to feel wanted by someone, if only for a little while, and while he won't say it as to not steer her choice one way or another, he wants her to stay.

when she says it out loud, he exhales a held breath, sighing into the kiss that she presses up into his mouth, this time pouring that relief into something more passionate, leaning into her with a fervent press of his lips.

the sheet isn't tied so tightly around his waist that it wouldn't take much to loosen free, and with her slight tug, he feels it go slack down his hips, snagging it with his own fingers to pull out of the way before his hands reach for the back of her thighs, grasping to lift her up against his chest, mouth breathless but still kissing her as he carries her to the bed. ]

[She's half expecting for him to politely turn her away, even after he invited her to stay. When he doesn't, there's an initial moment of panic. The fear of being close to someone in a way that could possibly leave herself open to be hurt is terrifying. But this isn't the start of a relationship. She cares for him, but at the end of the day, he's going to remain her close friend.

This is safe. It's alright. There's nothing she needs to waste time overthinking. All she needs to do is let instinct take over so she can just live in the moment. The sensation of being lifted is enough to remind her of that. Her legs wrap around him, freeing up her hands to lightly press against his cheeks. Fingers dip to curl against his warm skin, though her touch slips away so she can start working at her dress.

She's incredibly grateful she chose to wear something simple. They won't have to waste time fiddling with her usual layers. Of course, it's a little awkward to try unzipping your own dress while you're carried to bed. The zip stalls halfway down and she curses in between kisses, a laugh slipping past her lips to be muffled against his.]

Sssh. [She quickly interjects before nipping at his lip, an attempt to ward away any mocking for her impatience to get as naked as he is.]

[ even when he picks her up, taking the steps across the room to work his way closer to the bed, he's not necessarily in a rush to get there. her body is plenty light, easy enough to carry that he's not at all bothered by the weight of her lifted from her thighs by strong calloused hands. and when her fingers linger, touching his cheeks with a gentle caress, it's a welcome distraction, even pausing in his steps for a moment to focus on the return of his kiss.

he can feel the shift of her body though when she starts to try working off her dress, and with her muttered swear, he can't hold back the amusement in his grin, more of a light smirk, but a genuine reaction that differs from the signature neutral scowls etched on his lips.

chuckling with her light nip to his lips, he hums his response, ] I got it.

[ when his legs hit the edge of the bed, rather than lay her down atop it, he turns his own body, taking a seat and bringing her down with him so she's straddled over his lap. freeing his hands from her thighs, he reaches to finish off the pull of the zipper, giving it a stronger yank to smooth it out along the path of the teeth. once it's loosened enough, he gives her a rather affectionate smirk as he leans back to pull her dress free up over her head. ]

[She thanks her lucky stars that he guides her to straddle him. A hint of a smirk tugs at the corner of her lips as she rises up on her knees just enough to let him pull her dress free. It's easily tugged off, and she pulls it out of his hands so she can toss it onto the floor.

Still resting on her knees against the bed, she realizes that for once she's taller than he is. Not one to just let that go to waste, she takes advantage of the position so she can curl forward over him. Her lips seek out his once more, more heated and insistent this time. She kisses him with hunger and a quiet desperation as her hand slips upward, palm pressing gently against his cheek.

She takes her time with him now, any impatience forgotten as she simply enjoys the way he feels beneath her. Her other hand that's resting against his chest slips downward, stopping briefly to press against his stomach. It doesn't stay in place there for long before her touch drifts down lower still. Her fingers curl around his length, lightly touching and slowly stroking.

Her lips break from his long enough to catch her breath, and with a contented sigh her forehead rests against his. Knees shift as her thighs press against his legs more firmly, and she lowers herself to rest in his lap once more.]

You're sure this is okay?

[He's not judging her, maybe. But she wants to hear him say he wants this and he's not just doing it to appease her.]

[ he could have laid her down on the bed, but aside from this position making it easier to undress her, there's something satisfying in seeing her sway over him like this, leveling out their heights more to where it's easier to kiss. and he doesn't mind at all that the control is practically left in her hands, when it's her that leans in over him, taking his lips with her own, leaving him to succumb fully to her kiss as she locks his body between her thighs.

even her fingers have a power of her own, the touch to his cheek leaving him to sigh against her mouth, one quick breath before her kiss takes him more fervently, heat in her lips that keep him well occupied with a fueling desire. there's no real secret to his own want, to the way he seeks her kiss, to his palms sliding against her bare thighs, sloping up against her back, strong fingertips kneading the length of her spine as he holds her close. it's all distracting enough that he only half focuses on the descent of her fingers, right until she's reaching between their bodies and wrapping her fingers around him.

he shudders against her lips with a quiet groan as she draws back, his breath shaking as he slowly grows hard from the relaxed strokes of her touch.

with their heads tipped together, he can't get a focused look at her eyes, but he can see her mouth, soft and wet from their kiss. ]

I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't.

[ his voice is quiet, honest, while his breath shakes in being touched. for all that he likes sex, it's not something he'd do just for the sake of doing it, even if his casual and nonchalant attitude about most things would suggest otherwise. there's a trust here, something understanding and unspoken between them, that feels different than if it were just anybody.

he says it without words, lifting his hand to gently caress over her cheek, a calloused but gentle graze of his thumb tracing across her lip, feeling the steady heat of her breath before he kisses her again, soft to start before leaning in for something deeper, making sure she knows the extent of his want. ]

[That's reassurance enough. A hum of approval forms on her lips as he leans in once again to kiss her. There's no rush here, no need to get this done quickly and slink away in shame. She can feel him growing hard beneath her touch, and she slows the relaxed strokes to something almost teasingly slow.

Her hand shifts slower and slower still until she stops completely, smirking as she breaks the kiss and leans back enough to slip free of her bra in a quick motion. Her knickers are next, of course, but there's no real rush. Not yet.

A hand presses against his chest, guiding him to lie back against the bed with a gentle push. She's towering over him this way, giving him an almost full view of her body.

She's smiling when she shifts to lean down over him once more. There's a kiss to his forehead as one of her fingers traces along his jawbone, and another kiss to the tip of his nose as her finger runs along his lip. She laughs at that, of course, because she feels relaxed around him enough that this casual intimacy is something she's fine with.

Her lips seek out his, the kiss quickly deepening once more. Her hips rock a bit as does, the friction enough to satisfy her for now. Still, that final barrier between them needs to go. She's not in a rush, but...

There's no time like the present to feel her completely naked body against his.

A huff sounds off against his lips as she tries to tug and wriggle her way out of her panties without stopping completely.]

[ the way she slows down her fingers is almost cruel, breathless with a grunt when she comes to a full stop, her lips shifting and smirking against his that for a second, he almost considers she might just leave him exactly like this, urging him on before drawing away, almost like her old trick with dodging his lips to kiss his cheek.

on the plus side, stopping to get herself more undressed is a good alternative, especially when she presses him down onto his back and gives him the full view with nothing covering her chest, her straddle making it all the better to appreciate, like he almost doesn't need the touch of her fingers to feel the inspiration.

but it's the softness of her kisses that really surprise him, when she leans in and pecks those kisses to different parts of his skin, and he can't help but breathe out a chuckle, even smiling when she finally gets back to his lips. it's not the way he usually imagines these things to go, not with the kind of playfulness she provides, hints that assure him she hasn't changed entirely from the girl he first met at this station, the one who joked about bringing him to his knees, who pretended to treat him like a brother in braccia despite her teases suggesting otherwise.

it's strange to feel the ease of it, to feel this relaxed, but it's plenty good too while she's rolling her hips, the weight of her grind coaxing another moan against her kiss, his palms grasping at her waist to feel the teasing roll of those movements in her muscles, proving to be a little more anxious now for getting her fully undressed.

and when he can feel her moving to try working off her panties, like she's trying to get away with it without pulling herself away, the same way she'd tried with her dress, he laughs breathlessly again. but just like her, he doesn't want to ease her off, too content with the heated friction rolling down against him, so he intervenes yet again, as he'd done with her dress, this time by snagging the the straps with both of his hands, gripping it with his fingers on each side and giving it a firm tug, using his slightly advanced strength, to simply tear the fabric free.

whoops? this time it's him nipping at her lip, a sly smirk on his lips to show just how apologetic he is. ]

Edited 2021-10-25 05:15 (UTC)

[There's something to the softness he inspires within her that has her on edge. They aren't romantically interested in one another, they aren't long term lovers. But there's a gentle sweetness to their soft, breathy laughs and the way he allows her to kiss him in more playful ways that has her questioning how this is going to end.

Then his fingers give a tug at her panties and manage to literally rip them off her body. She gives a sharp gasp as she hears the thin fabric tear, but isn't actually upset about it.

She teases him with a nip to his lip in counter protest, causing their teeth to brush against one another in the process. Now that any pesky layers are out of the way though, she settles and makes a content hum as she shifts against him once more. Her hips angle as both hands press against his chest, keeping him in place. It's not that she minds him moving, it's more that she gets off on being completely in control.

With her palms splayed firmly against him, she leans back so she's sitting up fully atop him. There's a second where one of her hands retreats so she can push hair behind her ear, but soon it's right back in place. With a slight exhale she rises up, positioning herself so she can bare down and guide him into position within her. There's a time and a place for tons of foreplay, but this isn't about that.

Maybe next time, if there is one, they can really take their time. She's too focused on the desperation to feel alive and feel anything at all as she slowly sinks down on his hardened length. The initial feeling is enough to make her bite at her lip as she tries to hold back a quiet murmur of arousal. ]

Don't move till I say to.

[It's not a request, but a gentle command. She needs a moment to adjust so the building emotions and sensation she's feeling don't mingle together in a way that overwhelms her.]

[ he almost laughs against the attempt at a bite to his lips, with that bump of teeth that doesn't make it all any less satisfying, especially when she gasps from the surprise of him ripping her underwear. it's something they could concern themselves with later, whereas right now it's all about the need to rid themselves of every possible layer, more satisfied to feel all bare skin everywhere they touch, from the soft press of her breasts to his chest when she kisses him, to the heat of her naked thighs trapping him down at his hips.

for a brief moment, he tries to chase her mouth on instinct, like a part of him isn't done with tasting her kisses, but her hands press him down, keeping him stationed against the mattress as she hovers above him. there's no protest from him then, captivated by the look of her, by her breathless mouth all pink and swollen from kisses, by the tuck of her hair that shows off the soft flush of her cheeks and the look of determination in her eyes, by the way she curves her body to position herself down against him.

her hands splay at his chest, over scars that aren't his own, save for a few of the fresher ones he's received in the recent months, some back on earth in bay city, and some in the fight at braccia. against her palm, his heart beats fast, a heart that isn't his but thumps with his own adrenaline, his own arousal, his own want of her in this very moment.

he tenses naturally when she starts to lower herself, when he feels the heat of her surround him, and his breath shakes but he exhales deeply when she tells him not to move. his hands are already sloped over her thighs, stroking at naked skin but he doesn't move otherwise. ]

Yeah. [ it's barely a word, more a hushed gruff breath, but it's cooperative and more than willing. he wants to hold her, cradle her close, find her lips, kiss her skin, make her moan — but he wants to watch her too, wants her to use him every way that she wants, and with the way she feels against his body, he doesn't care about anything else but this. ]

[The way he so willingly gives her the control she needs is intoxicating. She has to take a second to admire him beneath her, take in the look in his eyes and watch the way he stays as still as possible. Goosebumps rise up over her skin as she starts to slowly move, only a slow rocking motion at first. She's been so worried about whether or not she was alive that being able to feel each and every tiny movement and the sensation each one brings is almost to much for her.

Her eyes shut tight just long enough for her to shakily inhale, fingernails digging in against his skin. Her nails rake downward as her slow rocks become a little faster, and she sets a pace that sticks with the sweet and gentle mood they started with.

Her back arches as she breathily sighs, eyes opening to him once again. When her back arches, it's only so she can curl forward and over him once again. A hand goes to his cheek, gently caressing as she presses her lips against his in a tender kiss. ]

Okay. [She whispers against his lips, giving him permission to move how he likes. Having total control isn't something she feels that she needs anymore, not with him. The give and take between them is perfect, and exactly what she needs.]

[ he wants her to have this, something in the weight of her eyes suggesting that she needs it, for reasons he may not understand. but it's the same for him somehow, like he's chasing something in this, something itching at him from the inside ever since he returned back from braccia, where he'd momentarily stared death — again — in the face, in a way that made him so unsure of what he's been searching for.

i need there to be something more, she'd said, and it's something he needs too, something he can't promise, but maybe there's something in this that can help them keep going, push them forward from whatever's been holding each of them back.

because everything else falls away for a little while when she moves, when she rides him slow and the pleasure stretches throughout all of his limbs, heating every inch of skin. he doesn't move, just as she'd asked, but his fingers do curl against her thighs, breath hissing through his teeth as the occasional moan leaves his breath, low and quiet, eyes taking her in as her pace picks up.

and when she leans down for his mouth, he's right there with her, leaning instinctively against the palm at his cheek, mouth breathless to her lips. ]

Okay. [ he whispers back with an understanding, quiet with a soft nudge of his nose to her, taking in another breath. his fingers reach up into her hair, grasping without force, merely holding her as he seeks out another fervent kiss. in a moment, he's leaning himself up on his other elbow, arching her up with him as he rolls his hips up beneath her, trying to find a matching rhythm with her rather than trying to take over any control. ]

[A very small part of her wants to shove against him and tell him to stop being so obliging. That she needs something rougher and more intense to really make her feel like this is real, that she's alive again. That part of her has Clara hesitating as he shifts their position. Her desire to have control screams in alarm at even the marginal lost of it, but she quickly decides that she trusts him and doesn't mind losing control in the here and now.

It feels too good for her to care about anything other than seeking pleasure in the moment.

She gasps sharply as he begins to move beneath her, the push and pull between them quickly settling into a perfect rhythm. She shifts and rolls her hips one way, and he rolls his up in another. Her mouth drops open as her breaths become a little heavier, and she has to turn her head to seek out his lips with her own.

This position is secure, neither of them are falling and going anywhere. But her hands still travel his body where they can reach anyway, grasping and groping, fingernails digging into his skin every so often.

It's Clara that begins to increase the pace as the heat coiling in her core threads tighter and tighter. It's only slightly harder, just enough to make her moan quietly in between her soft gasps. Each sound recklessly falls free from her and against his lips. She knows she could give a rough tug to his hair, or do more than just lightly nip at his lip in between kisses. She could make this something less gentle and sweet, but in the end this is what she needs. And maybe it's just what he needs too. It's far more romantic than she intended this to be, but she finds she doesn't mind at all.]

Kov- [She gets out the start of his name before she's cut off by a low and throaty groan. Her head dips as her body gives a slight tremble, goosebumps from sensation rising up across her skin. This is almost too much all at once, a jump start to her system. Emotion threatens to overwhelm her and she slows her movements, one of her hand slipping to rest against his arm. She doesn't need him to stop, she just needs a second.]

[ he isn't incapable of providing a more definite roughness, and he knows it would take nothing at all to spin their bodies in an instant, that he can flip her down to the mattress and urge his weight down between her legs, grip her wrists and give her everything he has. but he doesn't, because he can feel her reluctance to sacrifice her position, and he equally wants her to know that he doesn't need the power, that he can admire her just like this.

but there's a shared control in this, in sitting up with her upon his lap, with the shifting motion of their hips that begin to match in pace, learning one another, bodies fitting together just right. and when she chases his mouth, her breath hot upon his lips, he knows they've found precisely what they need — mutual trust, mutual control.

as she feels out her fingers against her, he clutches tight to her in turn, calloused palm kneading up and down the length of her naked spine, fingers massaging up along her nape, curling into her hair whenever he seeks out stolen kisses, fleeting but passionate all the same as their lips break for every gasp, every moan.

he rounds his hips against her, harder in his motions when she moves her own faster, heels digging to better support his own thrusts. when she begins to tremble against his body, he wraps an arm supportively around her, his nose pressing into her cheek. he can feel the shake in her and he holds her through it, his other fingers caressing light to her jaw as he leans his forehead back against hers. ]

I got you. [ he whispers soft, not rushing her through it, even as he catches his breath, his body hot all over. ]

[Mutual trust is something that's earned. It's something that takes time and work. It's not something that should be this easy. And yet it is, and that makes her entire world crash down around her. There's a flicker of panic that's quelled the second he reassures her, and she gives a quick nod of her head in understanding.]

I know.

[The words come out thick and charged with emotion. It's with a shaky breath that she keeps moving, seeking out what she knows her body craves and needs. It's with slower, more deliberate movements that she seeks out her release. Her forehead stays pressed against his, leaving them to share one another's warm breaths. She feels like she's burning hot now, the heat in her core coiling to the point where any tiny movement sets her skin on fire.

And maybe it's the fact that she does trust him so completely that helps her get to this point so quickly. Her head lifts as she begins to move faster, fingernails scraping at his back as she does. She's close now, so close. It's with a near whine of need that her lips seek out his. He's got her.

She's got him in return. Mutual trust, mutual control. There's nothing given or wanted in return, it simply is. And in that moment, it's everything she needs.]

[ she shouldn't trust him, not because he'd ever seek to purposely hurt her, but because things have a way with taking the worst turn when he's involved, like it magnetizes to his every step — this is what you do, love. stride across the centuries and death follows, churning in your wake.

but he can't hear quell's warning in his head over the sound of clara's shaking breaths, over the i know that digs beneath his skin and gives him something to clutch onto, even if it isn't meant to last. the sting of her fingernails at his back keep him locked into the moment, transfixed on her, on the way she moves faster, fueling the heat even stronger between their bodies. his hands never leave her, an extension of his promise, rounding over her curves, feeling out the warmth of soft skin, his fingers kneading at a breast, his lips always ready for every desperate kiss she chases.

groans are deep in his throat, scratching like gravel, as he breathes hard. he isn't far from release either, but he grinds up with the intent to focus on hers, a large palm pressing against the small of her back to hold her close. there's something in how they're able to move together like this, learning fast, trusting easily, and he almost curses at how he hadn't been prepared for it, for how he'd feel in having something like this again.

with a shake of his breath, he mutters against her lips, overwhelmed by how much she surrounds him completely, in more ways than one. ] Clara.

Edited 2021-11-26 18:29 (UTC)

[It's the way that he says her name that makes her shiver. It's just a little tremble, something that likely isn't noticeable. But with the way his hands are on her, coaxing her toward seeking what she needs; she feels taken care of. She feels valued. She feels seen. With her blood running hot, she feels alive and real.

And it's feeling secure in that, in hearing and feeling the connection she's formed with him, that sends her over the edge. Her head dips, forehead pressing against his shoulder. Her hips grind more urgently against him, breath coming out heavy as she gasps and feels the tension build to the point it snaps and releases. His name comes out a sharp cry, and she goes still for a moment against him. The warmth in her belly spreads throughout her limbs, thighs quivering as it threatens to nearly overwhelm her once again.

There's the physical pleasure mingling and mixed completely with the emotional connection, and the intensity of it has her slowly riding out her orgasm in order to drag it out just a bit longer. Just a little more, she thinks. She wants to feel this for as long as possible, until she feels so much that she's so sensitive it's painful.

Her fingernails rake and drag against his skin as she shifts, and she presses whispers of kisses against his skin as she keeps her forehead in place against his shoulder. In between there are murmurs of his name, urging him to join her. ]

[ he isn't even entirely sure he's said her name out loud before this, but when it leaves his lips now, it's like an assurance she really is the only thing he's seeing, hearing, feeling, that he's giving everything in this very moment for her, everything he has to offer right now all poured into this escape they're chasing together.

even without the accompanying cry of his name, he can feel the shake in her body, the tremble that presses against and around him, signaling that peak. when she sinks herself against him, still chasing it in her rocking hips, he moves with her, palms grasping on her hips, so he gives her every grind of pressure in her pleasure until she signals for him to stop.

when she mutters against his shoulder, her lips hot with her breath to his skin, he shudders as he thrusts up against her, knowing he isn't going to fall too far behind, not when she feels as warm and inviting and exhilarating as she does, when she urges him to find that peak of pleasure with her.

soon enough, he groans, digging his face in against the crook of her neck, breathing hard to the junction of her shoulder as the build pulses through his body, the motion of his hips seizing as he gives in to the release. his own body trembles as he brings an arm around her, the other secured at the base of her neck.

in cooling down, his name leaves her lips quietly, feeling every part of himself open and unshielded for her, even as he hides himself against her skin, holding her as everything falls still. ]

[Her head turns so she can press a kiss to his temple. Her nose lightly nuzzles against his hair as she does, and she lets her eyes slide closed as she just basks in the moment. Every single inch of her feels electric, and she finds herself smiling in delight at the sensation. She had been so worried she was some kind of zombie or worse, but she's still as human as she ever was.

One of her arms wraps protectively around him, palm pressed against his back, fingers splayed wide. She rubs her hand in a light circular motion, more idle than anything. She feels incredibly vulnerable right now, but safe in his arms. ]

You have a roommate, yeah?

[She almost sounds tired as she says it, voice thick and heavy with exertion.]

[ with that first kiss she'd pulled him into tonight, he'd thought this would lead to something spontaneous, just a rush to take the edge off, a temporary scratch to an itch, but as she presses a kiss to him now, light to his temple, he realizes it's taken a turn to something he wasn't anticipating, something gentler and more soothing than he ever could have been prepared for.

he's relieved she isn't so quick to pull away, even if he feels a selfishness in seeking the way her body continues to surround him, feeling like a child in the way he sinks into her embrace, his own arms curled around her back, fingertips warm as they lazily trace her spine. ]

Yeah. [ his voice is a whisper, the word almost spoken in a breath. ] He comes and goes. [ truth be told, he doesn't even know if kirigan'll be back tonight. they tend to keep out of each other's businesses for the most part.

turning his head, his lips kiss soft at her shoulder, relaxed as he sighs. ] But you can still stay the night if you want.

( open ) and if i only could make a deal with god

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