πΈππΆπΈπ πΎπ π½πΎπ πΈπ½πΆπππΎπ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dirtytrenchcoat) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ximilialog2023-04-03 03:51 pm
dirtytrenchcoat) wrote in ximilialog2023-04-03 03:51 pm
Entry tags:
CATCH-ALL | ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
CHARACTERS: Castiel & ????
LOCATION: Around the Station, Various
DATE: Assumed, throughout April
CONTENT: Top-Levels, Starters, Etc
WARNINGS: To Be Added
For now, Castiel's INFO, PERMISSIONS, and OPT-IN
01 β mess hall
late morning
02 β common area
afternoon
03 β sunlight room
at dusk
LOCATION: Around the Station, Various
DATE: Assumed, throughout April
CONTENT: Top-Levels, Starters, Etc
WARNINGS: To Be Added
For now, Castiel's INFO, PERMISSIONS, and OPT-IN
01 β mess hall
late morning
[Freedom is a length of rope, and while Castiel had spent much of the past ten or so years pulling that rope as far as it would allow he'd never been without purpose. In between his arrival and waiting for a new mission, Castiel's idle hands drive him out into the various wings of the ship to distract himself from his own misgivings. He knew that Jack had everything handled now, and an outline from which to continue, but it still didn't keep him from being concerned or from missing him and the people that mattered most to him.
He's surprised to find the same offbrand cereal that they kept stocked in the bunker for Jack on the shelves of the pantry and he pours himself a bowl, occupies an empty table, and just stares at it with a small glass of milk beside him, like it might hold the key to his future on this technologically advanced ship.]
02 β common area
afternoon
[No stranger to keeping himself busy with down time Castiel longs for the simplicity of Netflix, and the televised shows Sam and Dean had introduced him to. That being not as prevalent here has made him pursue old habits and with people watching being decidedly off the table he's chosen literature, not for the first time in his life.
Castiel, standing tall and rigid, has been standing in front of the bookshelf closest to the door for a while plucking books off of it, inspecting them front and back, in his desire to find something of interest to consume. He hesitated on a book of haikus, meant to be comedic in nature, but ultimately it returns back to its nesting place too.
The books are all in remarkable shape, given how long they must have been there, and he thumbs the cover of one such book with a frown that makes him crease his eyebrows.]
I fail to see what influence Chicken Soup would have on the soul.
03 β sunlight room
at dusk
[Nature is a boon for Castiel and the sunlight room is one more technological marvel that the ship is capable of. Logically he knows that this isn't real, the simulated room is only a very vivid phantasm but it doesn't prevent him from enjoying it all the same.
When the sun begins to set, Castiel perches himself on the bridge that leads out toward the forest that separates this room from the next. The sky becomes a gradient of orange, purple, pink, and blue and the wildlife present retreats back into the trees calling to one another for rest the same way people do.
It's peaceful, and the warmth of the wind that suggests summer must be coming at home makes Castiel close his eyes for a moment: meditative. The world still spins, regardless of whether or not he's at home being a part of it.]
no subject
He needs a haircut, Castiel never knew Dean to let his hair get too long. Always somewhere between a crew cut and a mohawk, but never one more than the other. It's a lot to take in, the hair on his jaw from forgetting to shave - maybe two days too many without taking the razor to it. Castiel's still taking it in when Dean says no, and the firmness that follows startles him enough to bring his attention back to his eyes and he finds the desperation in them too late to do anything but drown in those pools of green before their lips meet and Castiel's confusion and his discomfort are overridden by desire.
It's a selfish thing, kissing him back, and Castiel wouldn't have given himself so wholly if he'd been convinced that this was really happening. Maybe this was still part of the dream, maybe he'd wake up in the station with a twisted gut and goosebumps. Dean's grip is still firm though, and Castiel can feel it through the layers on his arms and it's that small acknowledgment that lets him believe that just maybe this was real, and maybe Dean wanted him the same way Castiel had wanted him without words or a name to put to it.
He's gone. Reckless abandon. The only thing that matters to him now is the way Dean's lips feel on his and after millennia his worldview has been completely centered on that, on him.
His arms, which were initially at his sides find purchase in the wings of Dean's back, and he opens his mouth deliberately beckoning something more, wild and hungry like a predator trying to lure prey. If this was some fluke thing, some way that the cosmic creativity of the ship sought to preoccupy him Castiel was going to take it regardless. After dying for it, admitting it only to end his own life, he knew that moments like these were precious and worthwhile. ]
no subject
But that isn't what happens. That isn't what he wants to do. Hell with what he should do, or what his brain thinks he should do, or what the voice of his father that still lingers in the back of his head says he should do.
Dean's doing what he wants to do, and what he wants to do is devour Cas right here in the sunlight room, clutch him tightly, mash himself up against Cas' broad frame, shove him up against the railing of the bridge, taste him, feel him, yank his shirt free from where it's tucked into his slacks and shove his hands up and under, grip warm skin under calloused fingers.
So that's what he does, he follows his heart, lets himself take and taste because Cas is letting him, Cas is returning it, opening his mouth under Dean's, as eager and wild as Dean is, desperation mingled with need and want and reunion.
Fuck, fuck fuck fuck. Dean's emotional, he can feel it welling in his chest, a choked sob that will humiliate him if it breaks free so he swallows it down, kisses Cas until he can't breathe anymore, clutches him close, fingers dimpling skin. He can't stop his eyes from welling up, Dean's an emotional man, but if he keeps them closed and keeps taking and taking, then Cas won't see, wont see how weak Dean is, how lost he's been, how far down the hole he's been spiraling. ]
no subject
Now, this? Lips on lips, his chest pushed flush into his own so close he can feel Dean's heartbeat rocketing through his chest, it all feels like a fantasy. Something he's wanted for so long that he can't help but cling to it desperately, his nails biting into the fabric covering Dean's back.]
no subject
Cas.
[ Intermingled with a gulped in breath of air, it comes out as more of a gasp, but the name on Dean's lips tastes good, lingering damp left from Cas' own lips. ]
Holy shit.
no subject
He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have succumbed so easily to the sins of the flesh and still now, standing in front of Dean he can't help but want to embrace him all over again. That desire to hold him so close that his grace echoes at the core of him hasn't dissipated even as shame, and shock come filtering in.]
I-
I'm sorry.
no subject
[ He shakes his head, a half laugh bubbling up, hysterical and a little manic.
Chill, dude. ]
Should be me sayin' I'm sorry. Kinda ambushed you. [ But he's not letting go, he's not backing off, and if anything he's coming in again for a tight embrace, needing Cas close, in his arms, against his body. If he's dreaming, he wants this to last as long as possible. ]
no subject
While it's not what Cas would call an ambush, the way he responds to Dean's touch after that with goosebumps and a punch of breath makes it clear that none of this had been what he'd anticipated.]
I don't - [Understand, clearly, but the words he wants to say aren't finding him now.] I didn't think that I would find you here and that we'd be doing this. I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
no subject
When he speaks, his voice is muffled, which is awesome because it hides how choked up he is. ]
I think you're supposed to say 'Hello, Dean'.
no subject
Even riddled with doubt, and presently confused, he still can't deny Dean a simple request like that and so with a half-moon smile he relents:]
Hello, Dean.
no subject
H-hey, Cas.
[ It's muffled against Cas' skin, Dean's eyes squeezed closed, a few tears slipping out that he quickly shuts off - waterworks aren't manly, get it together, dude. ]
Shit, I'm glad you're here.
no subject
I'm glad you're here, but what's the matter?
[He couldn't deny himself the question any longer, because the Dean he knew wouldn't have collapsed into him like this. They lived years before he'd even so much as hug him like this.]
no subject
[ How does he even begin to explain? There's so much, so much that's happened in the year plus since he's been here. ]
Let's, let's go to my room. We can talk.
[ "Talk". If Dean doesn't attack his mouth again, anyway. ]
no subject
[That's a broad spectrum of possibility, and Castiel's brows lift into his hairline to declare that non-verbally. He has many questions, most of which have nothing to do with his life here and everything to do with that kiss.]
Okay.
[Castiel hadn't actually been to his quarters yet and knew nothing of the location or set-up because his first tour had been of the amenities and what the ship provided outside of personal refuge.]
Where is your room?
[He could easily just take them both there, even though he'd found some solace in walking and doing things the "human," sort of way.]
no subject
[ There's a lot to share and he isn't sure where to start - if he should start. How do you explain what the last year has been like? How do you tell your best friend, the being who means as much to you as your brother, how much your heart has shattered again and again? It's patched together so crudely, it wouldn't take much for it to break permanently. Pieces are missing, parts of himself gone with the ones who have left, insides hollow and carved out, leaving him a shell, exhausted and empty. ]
This way.
[ He takes Cas' hand without hesitation, starts to drag him out of the room and across the station to the rooms, his specifically. ]
You're gonna stay with me, right?
no subject
When they enter the room, Castiel's look of confusion cascades into something almost nostalgic and his blue eyes scan all the memorabilia, little notes of Dean before hunting took his life and then long after.]
Stay with you?
[Cas searches the room, it's not what most would consider large and there's just one bed and bathroom. This combined with the fact that he doesn't sleep gives him some pause.]
no subject
[ Why wouldn't Cas stay here? Dean knows he doesn't sleep, but...it's the thought that counts, obviously. Or something, he doesn't know.
He just knows he can't lose Cas again, and the angel is likely going to have a shadow whenever Dean has a chance to bother him. ]
I just, y'know. Things haven't been great. I'm glad you're here.
no subject
[Castiel's primary concern is not breathing down Dean's neck despite how much he may want to hover and needlessly occupy his space now that he's here. He's missed him, and knowing what he knows - having confessed, and now miraculously kissed the man makes it that much harder. A chair where he can read and just sit while Dean does the human thing and sleeps would be helpful.]
What do you mean?
[His brow furrows, attention deviated from having somewhere to toil while Dean slept to Dean himself. It's unfortunate, that even coming to a place like this with its promises and procedure Dean would still suffer. It's not something he's pleased to hear.]