ximilialog | CATCH-ALL | ACROSS THE UNIVERSE

CHARACTERS: Castiel & ????
LOCATION: Around the Station, Various
DATE: Assumed, throughout April
CONTENT: Top-Levels, Starters, Etc
WARNINGS: To Be Added
For now, Castiel's INFO, PERMISSIONS, and OPT-IN

01 — mess hall
late morning

[Freedom is a length of rope, and while Castiel had spent much of the past ten or so years pulling that rope as far as it would allow he'd never been without purpose. In between his arrival and waiting for a new mission, Castiel's idle hands drive him out into the various wings of the ship to distract himself from his own misgivings. He knew that Jack had everything handled now, and an outline from which to continue, but it still didn't keep him from being concerned or from missing him and the people that mattered most to him.

He's surprised to find the same offbrand cereal that they kept stocked in the bunker for Jack on the shelves of the pantry and he pours himself a bowl, occupies an empty table, and just stares at it with a small glass of milk beside him, like it might hold the key to his future on this technologically advanced ship.]

02 — common area
afternoon

[No stranger to keeping himself busy with down time Castiel longs for the simplicity of Netflix, and the televised shows Sam and Dean had introduced him to. That being not as prevalent here has made him pursue old habits and with people watching being decidedly off the table he's chosen literature, not for the first time in his life.

Castiel, standing tall and rigid, has been standing in front of the bookshelf closest to the door for a while plucking books off of it, inspecting them front and back, in his desire to find something of interest to consume. He hesitated on a book of haikus, meant to be comedic in nature, but ultimately it returns back to its nesting place too.

The books are all in remarkable shape, given how long they must have been there, and he thumbs the cover of one such book with a frown that makes him crease his eyebrows.]

I fail to see what influence Chicken Soup would have on the soul.

03 — sunlight room
at dusk

[Nature is a boon for Castiel and the sunlight room is one more technological marvel that the ship is capable of. Logically he knows that this isn't real, the simulated room is only a very vivid phantasm but it doesn't prevent him from enjoying it all the same.

When the sun begins to set, Castiel perches himself on the bridge that leads out toward the forest that separates this room from the next. The sky becomes a gradient of orange, purple, pink, and blue and the wildlife present retreats back into the trees calling to one another for rest the same way people do.

It's peaceful, and the warmth of the wind that suggests summer must be coming at home makes Castiel close his eyes for a moment: meditative. The world still spins, regardless of whether or not he's at home being a part of it.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When Dean pulls back the reality of what just happened, what they just did, finally hits him and his heavy-lidded eyes widen and his kiss-swollen lips press into a firm line.

He shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have succumbed so easily to the sins of the flesh and still now, standing in front of Dean he can't help but want to embrace him all over again. That desire to hold him so close that his grace echoes at the core of him hasn't dissipated even as shame, and shock come filtering in.]

I-

I'm sorry.

You didn't - no.

[ He shakes his head, a half laugh bubbling up, hysterical and a little manic.

Chill, dude. ]

Should be me sayin' I'm sorry. Kinda ambushed you. [ But he's not letting go, he's not backing off, and if anything he's coming in again for a tight embrace, needing Cas close, in his arms, against his body. If he's dreaming, he wants this to last as long as possible. ]

[The laugh only makes things more confusing for Castiel and he ticks his head to one side, as if looking at him from a different angle might help him to understand. It doesn't.

While it's not what Cas would call an ambush, the way he responds to Dean's touch after that with goosebumps and a punch of breath makes it clear that none of this had been what he'd anticipated.]

I don't - [Understand, clearly, but the words he wants to say aren't finding him now.] I didn't think that I would find you here and that we'd be doing this. I don't know what I'm supposed to say.

[ Dean, macho manly thing that he is, feels himself welling up when Cas tips his head like that - it's so familiar, reminds him so much of home that he has to bury his face in the angels neck to keep from losing his cool.

When he speaks, his voice is muffled, which is awesome because it hides how choked up he is. ]

I think you're supposed to say 'Hello, Dean'.

[It's far from the same sort of cant to his head that he'd done when they'd first met, bird-like, and inhuman. There's a relaxed sort of acceptance to how he moves and speaks now, an educated and almost human but not quite cadence to his voice.

Even riddled with doubt, and presently confused, he still can't deny Dean a simple request like that and so with a half-moon smile he relents:]

Hello, Dean.

[ The sob that bubbles up is choking; the tenor of Cas' voice, the familiar Hello, Dean echoing in his head, memories flooding - it has him crumbling, yanking the angel close again, burying his face into Castiel's neck. ]

H-hey, Cas.

[ It's muffled against Cas' skin, Dean's eyes squeezed closed, a few tears slipping out that he quickly shuts off - waterworks aren't manly, get it together, dude. ]

Shit, I'm glad you're here.

[Cas could have chalked up his first few missteps as merely being out of touch with his life at home, but now being so close to him he knows better. He doesn't let Dean go, and runs his palm soothingly up the bulbs of Dean's spine to the hair at the nape of his neck he'd always longed to touch.]

I'm glad you're here, but what's the matter?

[He couldn't deny himself the question any longer, because the Dean he knew wouldn't have collapsed into him like this. They lived years before he'd even so much as hug him like this.]

Shit, man...everything.

[ How does he even begin to explain? There's so much, so much that's happened in the year plus since he's been here. ]

Let's, let's go to my room. We can talk.

[ "Talk". If Dean doesn't attack his mouth again, anyway. ]

Everything?

[That's a broad spectrum of possibility, and Castiel's brows lift into his hairline to declare that non-verbally. He has many questions, most of which have nothing to do with his life here and everything to do with that kiss.]

Okay.

[Castiel hadn't actually been to his quarters yet and knew nothing of the location or set-up because his first tour had been of the amenities and what the ship provided outside of personal refuge.]

Where is your room?

[He could easily just take them both there, even though he'd found some solace in walking and doing things the "human," sort of way.]

Everything.

[ There's a lot to share and he isn't sure where to start - if he should start. How do you explain what the last year has been like? How do you tell your best friend, the being who means as much to you as your brother, how much your heart has shattered again and again? It's patched together so crudely, it wouldn't take much for it to break permanently. Pieces are missing, parts of himself gone with the ones who have left, insides hollow and carved out, leaving him a shell, exhausted and empty. ]

This way.

[ He takes Cas' hand without hesitation, starts to drag him out of the room and across the station to the rooms, his specifically. ]

You're gonna stay with me, right?

Edited 2023-04-30 13:50 (UTC)

Everything was a term that could be all-encompassing, and not for the first time since he found Dean in the sunlight room Castiel is at a loss for words and follows after Dean silently, with his free hand at his side and the hand in Dean's clinging desperately to the touch, longing to lace their fingers and see just how well the fingers of his vessel fit in between Dean's.

When they enter the room, Castiel's look of confusion cascades into something almost nostalgic and his blue eyes scan all the memorabilia, little notes of Dean before hunting took his life and then long after.]

Stay with you?

[Cas searches the room, it's not what most would consider large and there's just one bed and bathroom. This combined with the fact that he doesn't sleep gives him some pause.]

Yeah, duh.

[ Why wouldn't Cas stay here? Dean knows he doesn't sleep, but...it's the thought that counts, obviously. Or something, he doesn't know.

He just knows he can't lose Cas again, and the angel is likely going to have a shadow whenever Dean has a chance to bother him. ]

I just, y'know. Things haven't been great. I'm glad you're here.

Okay. Is there a ... chair? Can I get a chair?

[Castiel's primary concern is not breathing down Dean's neck despite how much he may want to hover and needlessly occupy his space now that he's here. He's missed him, and knowing what he knows - having confessed, and now miraculously kissed the man makes it that much harder. A chair where he can read and just sit while Dean does the human thing and sleeps would be helpful.]

What do you mean?

[His brow furrows, attention deviated from having somewhere to toil while Dean slept to Dean himself. It's unfortunate, that even coming to a place like this with its promises and procedure Dean would still suffer. It's not something he's pleased to hear.]

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