( home sweet fuck this place - open log )

[cheapbastard]

CHARACTERS: billy butcher + ota
LOCATION: around the station
DATE: a few weeks post mission
CONTENT: return from a canon update
WARNINGS: language, possible violence, mentions of illness/death

01. RETURN

( it's kind of fucked up, ain't it? give him a taste of home and then take it away from him just as he was starting to get settled in and relaxed. fucked up. one minute he's here, the next he's back in his supe infested world and back to his single minded focus on killing homelander.

instead, homelander's still alive, he's got ryan, soldier boy's back in a fucking lab and he's...well, he's dying. he knows that he's dying and he doesn't give a shit at this point. there's still some temp v vials in his pocket and one in his system. there's no need to use it on the station though his eyes flicker brightly before he closes them down and rubs at his temples to get the urge to die off.

when he opens his eyes, he shudders a bit and then shakes his head. this fucking shit hadn't even ben worth it in the end, had it? homelander was alive and he'd lsot ryan. the one thing becca wouldn't want him to do and he'd done it.

that thought's still ringing in his head when he finds his way into the mess hall. the anger rises up like bile in his throat and he punches a wall hard enough that his hand should break. it doesn't. the wall doesn't give either but he feels a little better. )

I need a drink.

02. FLU LIKE AN EAGLE

( it's not all that easy to hide the side effects of this shit but you know who's doing his best? it's billy. most of the time, he dulls the pain with alcohol so you'll find him in the mess ball drinking something heavy and maybe going through it faster than he usually does. but the migraine pounding in his head tends to dampen if he's got something in him and he prefers the intoxication over the pain.

sometimes, you might pass him in the corridors during a particularly bad muscle spasm where he can't even really walk for shit but ask him if he's okay and he'll probably bark at you. he's fine, okay. he's fine.

he's not fine and he knows why he's not fine but he can deal with it. he's got eighteen months, right? plenty of time to try and figure this shit out and not die. or maybe he will die. he doesn't know.

the one thing he doesn't do is visit any sort of doctor or shit because what's that gonna do? let people know what's wrong and then they label him a liability? fuck no. if he can't kill homelander, he's damn sure gonna take the rage out on someone else. )

03. WILDCARD

( for anything else that doesn't fit. if you have questions, feel free to dm this journal or hit me at jortles for questions. billy's been canon updated and he has temporary superpowers including laser eyes and super strength. this comes with a side effect of dying but he's not going to be very open about that to people. the superpowers things might be evident depending on where you catch him, though. )

Comments

[homeostatic]

Oh, you look like crap.

( There's mild affection to his assertion, at least.

That wince has his attention, something he zeroes in on, but glass houses and stones or something. )

But that's goin' around lately.

[cheapbastard]

Yeah.

( he makes a face and shakes his head before he straightens, trying to stiff upper lip the shit and glances at bones. )

You included? With the looking like shit.

[homeostatic]

Nah, I'm glorious.

( it's so sarcastic, haha, but he admits a moment later, )

Yeah. I've been better.

[cheapbastard]

Yeah.

( billy absolutely knows how that feels. he sighs and rubs his fingers against his face. )

So am I. We're just two glorious fucks stuck on this godforsaken station. Our luck is amazing, ain't it?