ximilialog | Julog

CHARACTERS: Yzak and you!
LOCATION: Various.
DATE: After return to the station.
CONTENT: All of that post-mission hubbub. Some closed starters in the comments.
WARNINGS: Will note.

#0: Just For Flavor | (not a prompt)

[ The team stayed on E-23b for a little longer than anticipated after finding the orb. What was Yzak up to during that time? He'd stayed near the towers in the chaos after one of them fell, and that topped with the fact that he had an unpleasant run-in with a couple of his colleagues back at the parliament who were looking for some revenge and to smear his name, the way things shook out afterward came together in a way where Yzak couldn't even be assed enough to argue about it. He'd been seen near the towers and accused by those colleagues of helping the Fables - which wasn't a lie in the end. So he decided to fuck off and drop the political "act," focusing his efforts on aiding his actual teammates with the work they wished to do.

His newfound time led him to split it between two main tasks within the sphere of sticking close to his team. Task one was if word got out or identity revealed regarding a certain comatose Mu and the guard tower's destruction, he wanted to make sure he was close just in case anybody else got any ideas of revenge into their head. Best visualized as your classic bodyguard/charge tragic love story at a bedside because one of them is dying trope. It's very sad. Task two was lending his power to Sabriel's by way of his Charter magic to work on the planet's toxic water situation. Best visualized as a classic sibling team up with cool, synergic motions to get the work done, and all of the banter from the occasional teasing to more somber conversations. It's very cute. ]

#1: The Boo Blue Blew Up Blues | (infirmary ; ota)

[ By now none should be surprised to see Yzak in the infirmary while Blue is there. Which is Often. If you're visiting the infirmary for whatever reason, just take the trope visualization described above as the sight you're greeted with, peppered with an option of your choosing between: he's reading something, he's fallen into a tiny doze in his chair, or he's resting a chin in his hand, looking so deep in thought about something that he doesn't even recognize you passing by.

If you're in the infirmary yourself for any injuries, Yzak isn't so rude to ignore you! He'll be up and about frequently, poking his head in ~~nosily~~ curiously to your character to see if they're awake, how they're looking, what they're up to. ]

Hey. How are you doing?

#2: Learning Lad in the Lab | (labs ; ota)

[ Yzak doesn't spend much time in the labs, so his presence there might come as a surprise to anybody who happens to find him there now. That's the extent of the surprise, though; he's not messing with the chemicals, and not even actually tinkering with the techy pieces or building anything.

He does have a bunch of pieces of ~machinery~ scattered out before him, though, a paper pad at his side and a book open at his other, sat atop a few other closed ones. He's skimming the book, eying the pieces on the table in front of him before picking one or two of them up, and then inspecting them closely, how they seem to fit together, what they are, what they do, familiarizing himself with their different shapes and sizes, how strong and how flexible they are. He does that, takes some notes (maybe makes the occasional small doodle to accompany some of the notes), and then repeats the process, now with different pieces of machinery.

He's pretty engrossed! But feel free to engage. ]

#3: Gundam Guy Galaxy Gazing | (simulations ; ota)

[ The view constructed in the simulations are far more bright and beautiful than the one from the station's windows even if it gets the same job done; Reflection. Anybody wandering into the simulations will find themself on the bridge of a battleship, techy and futuristic; metal paneling and computerized screens, sterile and clean and bright. But empty. Empty save for Yzak himself who's leaning against the back of one of the chairs closest to the windows and looking out at the view. The space around Earth and PLANT is a breathtaking sight to see - endless pinpricks of lights dotting space in varying size and brightness, streaks of color of distant clusters and galaxies that feel like staring at a beautiful watercolor painting.

The Earth itself is so close and blue and bright, serving as a backdrop to a group of hourglass-shaped space colonies - well over a hundred. If one were to stare out at the serene view for long enough to notice, there's a small area among the colonies them where a few of them don't look quite as good. Yzak's still in the white uniform he's always seen in as he quietly soaks in the familiarity of the ship and the view. Maybe if you ask nicely he'll give you a tour of some kind; physical tour of the ship itself? Audio tour of the view? ]

Wildcard & OOC | (current and new cr welcome)
Feel free to tweak any prompt and I'll roll with whatever! Or just wildcard me, baby, I'm here for it. Poke me at

gaignun, Tara#1768 or PM me here if you have any questions/want to kick around ideas if nothing stands out! The inbox is always open, too. ♥

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He huffs a laugh, arm sliding to rub his shoulder; just an anxious tic.]

Yeah!

Crazy, right? If I get it done and go back home, I'll live a whole 'nother life without knowing it. Because I won't remember any of this. People I know'll change, and it'll be like the war never happened.

[He won't ever meet anyone in the PPDC.

Including Hermann.

After all, the kaiju is what brought them together in the first place.]

[ His expression very visibly falls when Newton speaks of not remembering any of this. But as he goes on, it melts away only a little bit, still leaving him looking a bit concerned. Because when he mentions the war never happening, his own mind heads in a similar direction, only he speaks it aloud. ]

So you wouldn't know Raleigh anymore.

Or Hermann.

[ Saying that second name feels a lot heavier to him. He still misses him, too. ]

[A soft sigh, followed by a smile that almost seems easy — if he were better at a pokerface, anyway. It's hard to pretend it isn't a miserable thought, the idea that he wouldn't have memory of them. That they'd never have met.]

It'd be a good thing, though. Raleigh would have his brother in his life, and Mako wouldn't have lost her family. Pentecost and chuck and all kinds of people would be alive. It's a good thing.

It would be. [ There's no denying that much. ]

But that doesn't mean you have to like it. I sure as hell wouldn't. [ It would mean not never meeting anybody he cares about now - Dearka, Athrun, Isaac and Shiho... But it would mean Nicol would never had to have joined the military and gotten killed - he could have become a famous pianist. Rusty wouldn't have been shot through the face during their infiltration of Heliopolis. So many people wouldn't have died. Yzak wouldn't have murdered innocents and maybe might not have even become such a garbage piece of shit for a while there. But he wouldn't know right now, if not for all of that. And he knows he's selfish in a way, to treasure that.

Not that he wants to give up his own reason for being here. Not that he'd assume to know better than Newton here about himself. Still, the other isn't very good at the pokerface. ]

Yeah, heh. I don't have to like it. Trust me, it drives me nuts.

[He shrugs, glancing aside, hands slipping into his pockets like he's not sure what to do with them. A sign, perhaps, of hesitancy over what to say, what to reveal. He's usually a pretty goddamn open book, but some things are still fresh — still sting, feel almost pathetic in how much he obsesses over them. But Yzak's a good friend, someone who knows how he feels — one of the only people who knows how he feels.]

Truth is, I screwed up enough that I think... it's for the best, if some people didn't meet me; I wouldn't be surprised if some of them regret it. [He laughs weakly.] Some of Hermann's last words to me here was 'go to hell', y'know? Maybe some part of him wanted to get out of here to forget everything I ruined.

[ It's part a selfish reaction for sure, the way Newton speaks of anybody wanting to leave here and forget everything about it - because it's something he despises and his soul just can't help but reject. But he also reacts the way he does because he knows Newton is wrong about it. He scowls. ]

Are you kidding me-!? [ As ever, nothing about what Yzak wants to say gets much of a filter. Especially when he feels strongly about something. ] Those things were influencing you for months, weren't they? Hermann didn't say those things to you! If he'd learned what was going on...

Oh, yeah, I'm a real big kidder.

[He says it tiredly, dragging a hand over his face. There's some part of him that prickles defensively — and another part of him that immediately drains that defensiveness like pus from a wound.]

Does it really matter? Whether I was influenced or not, it's all the same. Not only did I endanger his safety back home by doing what I did, but I fucked everything up between us; he has every right to want to run for the hills.

I was just lucky he wasn't around to see what I turned into. Last thing he needs is to blame himself for something happening to me without him realizing.

-of course it matters...! [ Spoken like it's the most obvious thing in the world. ] Because it's not the same. Those bastards were specifically trying to push everybody away and fuck things up because as much as they scoffed otherwise, they knew it'd be harder if they didn't isolate you and deceive us.

Not that their efforts did much for them in the end on that count. The fucking cowards.

If Hermann were here and blamed himself for something that we all did, then I'd call him an idiot too. Even if I completely understand the feeling. But I sincerely doubt he'd have wanted to cut himself off from you like that. Because it wasn't really you he told to go to hell.

[Newt quiets as Yzak talks, frowning down at the floor.]

... What if it's just easier? To pretend he'd hate my guts. [He laughs, but it's humorless, and he looks up to Yzak with a strained smile.] That way, I don't feel like I'm losing one of the most important friendships I've ever had in my life? It's foolproof. Can't be totally distraught about it if Hermann wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

If it were easier, it would just be easier and you wouldn't be distraught at all or need to do any of the mental gymnastics. You just admitted it yourself, too - it'd just be pretending. So if it's going to hurt either way, why bother with the extra stress of it to make it worse? You're only punishing yourself doing that.

You aren't losing it. Even if you change the past that much, it will still have existed here and now. And you haven't lost it already, either, because I sincerely doubt he'd give up on you so easily.

[His shoulders slope. Eyes burn holes in the ground still as he wordlessly adjusts his glasses. It's not really natural, the quiet that has formed in his room, which is usually so loud and active.]

... Guess so.

It still all exists in my head right now, so... I should just try not to think past that too much. And who knows? Maybe we'll end up running into each other once I'm back in my world. Maybe we'll meet anyway.

[Despite himself, his voice cracks pathetically as he adds:]

Weirder things have happened.

Julog

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