ximilialog | Julog

Entry tags:

Julog

CHARACTERS: Yzak and you!
LOCATION: Various.
DATE: After return to the station.
CONTENT: All of that post-mission hubbub. Some closed starters in the comments.
WARNINGS: Will note.

#0: Just For Flavor | (not a prompt)

[ The team stayed on E-23b for a little longer than anticipated after finding the orb. What was Yzak up to during that time? He'd stayed near the towers in the chaos after one of them fell, and that topped with the fact that he had an unpleasant run-in with a couple of his colleagues back at the parliament who were looking for some revenge and to smear his name, the way things shook out afterward came together in a way where Yzak couldn't even be assed enough to argue about it. He'd been seen near the towers and accused by those colleagues of helping the Fables - which wasn't a lie in the end. So he decided to fuck off and drop the political "act," focusing his efforts on aiding his actual teammates with the work they wished to do.

His newfound time led him to split it between two main tasks within the sphere of sticking close to his team. Task one was if word got out or identity revealed regarding a certain comatose Mu and the guard tower's destruction, he wanted to make sure he was close just in case anybody else got any ideas of revenge into their head. Best visualized as your classic bodyguard/charge tragic love story at a bedside because one of them is dying trope. It's very sad. Task two was lending his power to Sabriel's by way of his Charter magic to work on the planet's toxic water situation. Best visualized as a classic sibling team up with cool, synergic motions to get the work done, and all of the banter from the occasional teasing to more somber conversations. It's very cute. ]

#1: The Boo Blue Blew Up Blues | (infirmary ; ota)

[ By now none should be surprised to see Yzak in the infirmary while Blue is there. Which is Often. If you're visiting the infirmary for whatever reason, just take the trope visualization described above as the sight you're greeted with, peppered with an option of your choosing between: he's reading something, he's fallen into a tiny doze in his chair, or he's resting a chin in his hand, looking so deep in thought about something that he doesn't even recognize you passing by.

If you're in the infirmary yourself for any injuries, Yzak isn't so rude to ignore you! He'll be up and about frequently, poking his head in ~~nosily~~ curiously to your character to see if they're awake, how they're looking, what they're up to. ]

Hey. How are you doing?

#2: Learning Lad in the Lab | (labs ; ota)

[ Yzak doesn't spend much time in the labs, so his presence there might come as a surprise to anybody who happens to find him there now. That's the extent of the surprise, though; he's not messing with the chemicals, and not even actually tinkering with the techy pieces or building anything.

He does have a bunch of pieces of ~machinery~ scattered out before him, though, a paper pad at his side and a book open at his other, sat atop a few other closed ones. He's skimming the book, eying the pieces on the table in front of him before picking one or two of them up, and then inspecting them closely, how they seem to fit together, what they are, what they do, familiarizing himself with their different shapes and sizes, how strong and how flexible they are. He does that, takes some notes (maybe makes the occasional small doodle to accompany some of the notes), and then repeats the process, now with different pieces of machinery.

He's pretty engrossed! But feel free to engage. ]

#3: Gundam Guy Galaxy Gazing | (simulations ; ota)

[ The view constructed in the simulations are far more bright and beautiful than the one from the station's windows even if it gets the same job done; Reflection. Anybody wandering into the simulations will find themself on the bridge of a battleship, techy and futuristic; metal paneling and computerized screens, sterile and clean and bright. But empty. Empty save for Yzak himself who's leaning against the back of one of the chairs closest to the windows and looking out at the view. The space around Earth and PLANT is a breathtaking sight to see - endless pinpricks of lights dotting space in varying size and brightness, streaks of color of distant clusters and galaxies that feel like staring at a beautiful watercolor painting.

The Earth itself is so close and blue and bright, serving as a backdrop to a group of hourglass-shaped space colonies - well over a hundred. If one were to stare out at the serene view for long enough to notice, there's a small area among the colonies them where a few of them don't look quite as good. Yzak's still in the white uniform he's always seen in as he quietly soaks in the familiarity of the ship and the view. Maybe if you ask nicely he'll give you a tour of some kind; physical tour of the ship itself? Audio tour of the view? ]

Wildcard & OOC | (current and new cr welcome)
Feel free to tweak any prompt and I'll roll with whatever! Or just wildcard me, baby, I'm here for it. Poke me at

gaignun, Tara#1768 or PM me here if you have any questions/want to kick around ideas if nothing stands out! The inbox is always open, too. ♥

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[Blue breathes out a gentle sound, slowly winding an arm around Yzak's middle.]

I know. And I'm sorry. Even though...you would not ask me to be. I just...know the unhappiness I leave behind when this happens.

You're right about that. [ That he wouldn't ask it of him. ] But if it helps ... then know that I hear you. And that it's okay. Because unhappiness is far from what you give or leave. [ It's like he's come to realize ... it's part of the package deal. No light without shadows, no shadows without light. And Blue shines so brightly to him. ]

Do you remember everything? What happened back then, when you lost control. What about the the last few weeks? There were times where you seemed as though you might have been more aware, but even in dreaming you were in and out of it.

[he closes his eyes and tries to remember, his head still somewhat cottony from the long sleep and medicine coursing through him.]

I remember...Finn... Finn looked to me. He...said something. He was... His arms were up above him. Holding...up the ceiling?

And then...Rey found me. She told me...it's time to wake up. That...I wouldn't want to see your crying face.

[ Yzak perks slightly at that last thing, almost as if he's about to say, hey! But he doesn't because ... it's fair. Had Blue died then, had he never woken up from this, of course he'd have cried. If it did happen at any other point in the last few weeks, nobody would know because it would have been in the privacy of Yzak's own room where nobody could see him or hear him frustratedly kick at his bed's frame with lack of an other immediate outlet to deal with the spikes of helpless dread.

If it happened, of course.

(it absolutely did) ]

Ah.

[ The tensed silence he falls into after that response is palpable. Torn between elaborating further and not wanting to cause him additional distress; Blue always feels so light against him, but there's something about it in this moment that makes him feel so much more so. Suddenly the idea of such a powerful surge of his ability being uncontainable by his thin frame makes so much sense. ]

[palpable indeed: it's in his body, too... Blue can't help but notice. what consolation can he give? there's no promise he can make that'll be satisfactory, because the ones he'd wish to are far from grasp. more and more, he can only promise the immediate, the right-now.

he lifts his head a little, bumping Yzak's jaw with the bridge of his nose, tickling at his skin with his eyelashes before he can sit up a bit more and kiss his cheek.

quietly:] Thank you...for being here.

[ As if he'd be anywhere else.

Okay, he could have been, he's a very busy man, even during downtime, evidenced by the small pile of books and the notebook atop it sitting next to that cup.

A light kiss like that still feels like a battery recharge. He's still tired, still worried, still dreading but still grateful, but it's as though a soft breeze runs through his bones to rejuvenate him some with the action. ] I could say the same to you.

I guess I am. [ He turns his head just as Blue pulls his own back from that peck on the cheek, nose to nose, the close proximity giving Blue a clearer look at his eyes. Eyes that for a moment just look at him, sheened ever so slightly before Yzak lets out a small breath and gives him a kiss on the lips back. Brief, but holding that bit of strength that he feels returned to his spirit with his waking. ]

Here. [ He uncoils one arm from around Blue to reach for that cup at the bedside - it's his, because he's always staying hydrated like a good boy. ] Drink some. There's a bit to catch up on, if that's all you can remember. [ Patiently he holds it up for him to take. ]

[the kiss is well-received, and while it can't be the cure-all of those fairy tales Yzak loaned him, it does warm Blue's heart and put him at ease while he remains in the silence of his mind. more and more, he's becoming acclimated (for better or worse) to that silence in Yzak's company, because there's no deception in his words or deeds. perhaps there's much still left unsaid because there must be: if Yzak gave voice to every thought or feeling that came to him, he'd be exhausted, Coordinator brain and all. Blue can forgive it because he loves him.

he's a little reluctant to sit up again, but he does so in order to accept the glass and the bit of help to get some of it down - it's rough for the first few sips, as the sting of the liquid on his dry throat makes him want to recoil, but he powers through for a few more sips. when he's had enough, he bobs his head in a gentle nod before passing the glass back to Yzak, waiting for his chance to lean against him again.]

[ If Yzak gave voice to every thought or feeling that came to him, everybody would be exhausted. And he comes close enough to doing so on the regular as is.

He's quick to return the glass to the table so he can get comfortable- as much as he can in an infirmary. He's never particularly liked spending time in one, especially when he was the one who couldn't come and go as he pleased. But as of late, he's basically had no choice but to get a little more used to the scenery. Yzak positions himself better so Blue can mold back in against him, leaning back on one braced hand and looking up to the ceiling. ]

He's recovered fine, now. Finn. Peter, too. The ceiling, I believe he was using his Force powers to keep it up for as long as he could when it started to come down.

I could feel it, too. When it happened to you.

[Blue settles back in, his head back on Yzak's shoulder, his expression growing thoughtful, somber. a little pang pierces through the warmth of that kiss, reminded of the torment he'd seen and felt from Finn, from Peter. it's in turn pierced by the interest of that remark Yzak brings up.]

...Felt it... [like a Mu? no--] How...?

It felt similar to when I knew something was wrong with you back in Braccia. [ That's about all he can compare it to. ] Something faint, short, but off, in my mind. Almost as if you were reaching out, but not specifically to me, or to anyone.

I wonder if that makes sense ... if you lost control and your psionics surged so powerfully, it sounds like the best guess I could make.

So it...affected human minds, too... [he must have unleashed one helluva thoughtwave, then.]

I don't...remember calling out...to anyone but myself. But in that state...I can't say I would've had much control.

So it seems. At least, I felt it. [ And that's all he can really speak to in the case of someone who isn't more psychically inclined. ] And you were a hell of a lot further away than you were in Braccia. [ Something he doesn't enjoy saying outloud. Because even if he'll always trust Blue to look after himself, even though this was a mistake, Yzak still just hates the fact that it happened at all, and that until he was there with Blue, he had no idea what was going on or how bad it was and felt so helpless. So small. ]

I don't think it lasted very long. You'll have to ask Peter or Finn the specifics there if you wish to know them. But it was still ... long enough. [ Long enough to damage, long enough for the fatalities, long enough to tear more at his already frail body. ]

[Blue exhales a long breath, his body sagging.]

It won't...happen again. It can't.

[ Won't. Can't. Yzak understands everything that both of those words mean when Blue speaks them. And some of what it implies ... he hates. He lets Blue sag against him, turning in some to allow him more comfort and, unable to help himself after hearing that, to put an arm back around him in an embrace, sturdy and diswanting to let him go. To let him go. ]

We'll- [ His mouth snaps shut, suddenly unsure of what he wants to say. What, they'll do their best to ensure it doesn't happen again? Or can't? Blue knows that's a given, anyway, if it's possible. And what that would entail...

So instead, he says: ]

It probably would have gone over a lot better with the locals had it happened on any other mission.

[ It's not really an attempt to lighten the mood - Yzak wouldn't be good at it if he were trying to anyway. But it's still an attempt at something. ]

I was worried about that, too. Not just you not waking up, but the way the citizens of the planet and even the Fables in the end looked at us all. I didn't want to let any of them near you with those sort of looks in their eyes. [ Because sometimes they were painfully like looking in a mirror of his past.

He lets out a huff. ]

Not that they were going out of their way to do anything but stay as far away from us as possible.

It must have...been uncomfortably familiar. [to what Yzak had shared with him of his home, his world.]

Thank you...for protecting me.

Eh. [ He gives a small shrug in return. ] Like I said, it just pissed me off! Powereds, they called us - because I guess much like where I'm from, a lot of the abilities the team possesses aren't real outside of fiction to them. And then the Fables ended up sending us away because we made them look bad, the longer they associated with us.

[ He lets out a sigh, relaxing some so he can properly enjoy the feeling of Blue against him. ]

I get it. Believe me, I do. Intent, accidents or not, doesn't matter much in the end to others when people die. But with how torn the team was about staying or going, and then for it to end like that the first time we actually end up staying to try and help ... it's not going to bode well moving forward.

And then... Hearing that the choice to stay may have...compromised other worlds...

[he exhales a pained sound, eyes closing.]

I don't understand...why regret had to be...what drew everyone together. Wouldn't...people wish to help? If told the scope of the plight. Not simply...those seeking their own gain, but...the sorts of people who yearn to help.

[but yearning doesn't automatically equate to capacity. he knows that. he's just musing aloud.]

May have. For all we know, every world we've visited could be compromised in an entirely different way we weren't even aware of - we know nothing beyond what little we're able to learn during our missions. And any civilization of even somewhat advanced age leaves behinds hundreds, maybe thousands of years of history and knowledge.

There are plenty of ways to be compromised that have nothing to do with any orb or with our interference. [ Like, what if there was a massive volcano beneath Braccia that erupted and blew up the whole planet right after they left! Who knows! What if they left Giva and 5 days later aliens invaded and destroyed the entire galaxy! ]

Yearning to help is an easy cause for regret. Why many of us are here, after all, is because we felt that way and failed to do so.

Yes...you're right. [he can concede it easily in a shiver and a sigh; the talk is heady...and exhausting, but not for lack of engaging points. he's just not built for it as he is right now (oh for the days of endless back and forth with Zel, Ella, Harley, Hillman...).]

Maybe we...could've done better, but...it is our past now. And unless one were to wish it to change...

We recovered the orb, the team returned okay. You, you're awake, now. Even the whole [ He waves a hand. ] revolution, turned out what appears to be for the better. We stayed to help because we primarily wanted to help. So, a wish like that won't be coming from me.

[ Even that much, speaking it aloud, feels like a hell of a lot to him, all things considered. But he is aware that not everybody on the team is looking at it the same way. ]

More importantly than that, though, [ He leans his head in to rest it against Blue's. ] do you feel as though you're ... awake now? [ Or at least, not about to just fall back into a coma for a few more weeks. ] Is there anything I can get - or do - for you? [ The former feels a lot more doable than the latter, right now. What can he do, indeed. More and more, it feels like less and less. ]

[Blue's head lifts a little, his hair smushing under Yzak's chin and cheek.]

I admit, I...I do feel like I'm still dreaming. But I am awake, aren't I.

You are.

[ A brief pause. ]

Because if this was a dream, if I woke up and you were still out, I'd be really pissed off at my own subconscious for fucking with me this way!

[Blue exhales a little laugh.]

Yes, that...I wouldn't be happy about that, either.

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Julog

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