ximilialog | catch-all

We do.

[ There's even someone on board the station right now that Megatron has kissed! He just doesn't talk about it ever. ]

Though not usually in this sort of circumstance enforced by superstition.

[ he huffs a laugh. ] I think calling it superstition is probably crediting it with deeper meaning than it has.

[ it sounds like it's just an excuse for consenting adults to kiss in public, but hey. ]

I won't push, but.. on the other hand-- [ his smile takes on a faintly teasing note, and he taps his cheekbone. ] --I do have a perfectly serviceable cheek if you'd like to partake in their tradition.

[ A moment of hesitation follows as Megatron tries to gauge the appropriate course of action. Luke is pleasant enough, for an organic. And he does remind him much of another young friend--though maybe with more brain cells. He half-shutters his optics and a moment later his holoform flickers into being next to Luke. Leaning over, Megatron presses a chaste kiss to Luke's cheek, though he looks grumpy the whole time. ]

Satisfactory?

[ luke actually jumps a little as a figure just appears, and he's too startled to react to the kiss. it's already over by the time he finally blinks, glance flickering from megatron's real body to.. his.. projected body? ]

Oh. [ he hesitates, fingers touching his cheek. there had been pressure and warmth, so it's more than just a projection. his fingers drop again, instead reaching to carefully, cautiously curl over the human-shaped megatron's forearm. ]

How did you..? [ he glances again between the two very different bodies, before smiling helplessly. ] You make a very handsome human, too.

[ There's an aggravated huff from the holographic projection. Megatron's real body seems to almost be in a sort of standby mode, standing stock still where it's been left. When Luke touches the holoform's arm, he can feel it. It has warmth--the result of the projection's energy usage, but perhaps not quite the right temperature for a human body, by a few degrees in one direction or another. ]

...It is a holomatter avatar. Meant for infiltration or deception when we need to remain unbothered on planets occupied by organics. A vehicle usually doesn't drive itself in such places, after all.

[ Is he embarrassed? No. He can't be embarrassed over this stupid, fleeting contact with a fluffy little organic. Even if he is distressingly like an old friend. His brain module begins to play catch-up with the rest of Luke's words. ]

...too?

[ since megatron doesn't seem to mind, his other hand comes up to grasp the avatar's other arm, hands skimming up his biceps to his shoulders. he can't feel anything through the glove and his prosthetic, of course, but it's still kind of fascinating just being able to touch him. ]

So do you adapt to the kinds of vehicles used on other planets, then..? [ that is genuinely one of the most fascinating things he's ever heard. megatron's people are a wonder.

the disbelief in his voice makes luke's eyes lift again, meeting the other man's, amused and a little fond in spite of himself. even though he hasn't known him long at all, he's so grouchily tolerant it's endearing. ] Yeah. That is, I don't usually have time to really appreciate people aesthetically anymore, but.. [ well, things have slowed down a little since he arrived and he doesn't just have to worry about survival right now. he pulls a hand away from the avatar to jerk his thumb toward megatron's real body, brows arching. ] Well, I'm not blind.

[ Megatron makes another annoyed sound and the emotion that ripples off of him is annoyance. He's reminded of Rodimus yet again--the way the other would casually invade his space to take a tablet or datapad, or simply lean up against him once they'd gotten comfortable.

He doesn't know that he likes it. But he also doesn't know that he dislikes it either. ]

We come online with an alternate mode. It can be many things, ranging from vehicles to mining or construction equipment to devices such as electron microscopes or data slugs. It's possible to change the alternate mode--sometimes it's simply an aesthetic one, to blend in with the locals. Sometimes it's form entirely. I've been a miner, a weapon, a flying craft, and now an armored fighting vehicle in my lifetime.

[ Why is he being so damnably patient? As his explanation finishes the holoform fizzles away, fading as if it had been nothing more than the sort of transmission hologram that Luke might be used to. ]

You are not the first human who has expressed these sorts of opinions. The more I learn about your species, the less I understand.

[ oh, there he goes. .. can the holoform feel? is megatron aware of both of his bodies when he uses it? he has about a dozen questions he wants to ask, though probably not in the doorway like this.

still, he shifts, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe and folding his arms loosely as he peers up.. and up at the mech. ] A miner, huh? Humble beginnings. I started out as a moisture farmer, myself. [ he still doesn't know how to just take a steady supply of water for granted.

he hesitates, then rolls his other shoulder in a small shrug. ] I don't know the sort of humans you're used to interacting with, but in my galaxy, lots of species mingle and intermarry, and humans are pretty compatible with most.

A moisture farmer? I imagine it's exactly what it sounds like, farming water in some way?

[ Okay, Megatron can vibe with that. Working class people are always easier to talk to than the wealthy. ]

In my universe, humans were native to a single planet. My people's civil war spilled onto it. A large number of them were killed.

[ Megatron frowns, his features, dark and unhappy. ]

I was directly responsible for most of the casualties.

[ He doesn't want to say the number. It had been so easy to say to Newt, to Peter--so why does he hesitate to say it to Luke? ]

Mm, on a desert planet. You can imagine what that was like, I'm sure. [ extremely hard work for very little reward. ] I'm the first generation in my family to be born free, too, so there was some pretty constant concern about slavers in the region.

[ overall, tatooine is not a planet he'd recommend to people as a retirement location, even now. maybe especially now, until the alliance builds up some sort of infrastructure.

he goes very quiet and very still as megatron admits to-- well, to that, painfully reminded for a moment of his father at the end. the same weary grief seems to radiate from megatron the same way it had been painted in anakin's presence in the force.

his fingers tighten on his arms briefly, then release, and he reaches out, his real hand curling over the mech's fingers once in a squeeze. ] Thank you for telling me. I'm glad to see that you seem to be giving humans a chance now.

I can.

[ As Luke mentions 'slavers' there's something foul and angry in Megatron's expression. Rage barely contained. But it stills. As Luke speaks again, Megatron's guilt and weariness only increases. ]

For a very long time I harbored nothing but hatred and disdain towards humans. Towards all organic life. It's only very recently in my life that I have been able to appreciate the strength you have, the nobility of spirit. In spite of being so fragile you continue to prove your bravery and resilience. It's... humbling.

[ he pauses a little uncertainly for a moment, feeling his ears warm in spite of himself. this.. feels like a conversation for somewhere a little more private, not something to be had standing under mistletoe in a doorway where anyone might encounter them.

with that thought in mind, he closes his hand around megatron's fingers, gently tugging to encourage him to come with him if he wants to. ] Here, let's-- Do you want to take a walk with me? Maybe through the sunlight room, it's apparently especially pretty right now.

[ he smiles up at him, chest a little tight, aching, and for a few moments, he can't tell if it's his own pain or megatron's. ]

What made you change your mind about us?

[ There's surprise on Megatron's face when Luke reaches out to tug at his hand. His first instinct is to pull away. He feels a little ill, thinking about all these people who seem to want to know him in spite of what he is and what's done.

But then, there had been others like that on the Lost Light. Minimus. Rodimus. Ratchet. Nautica. So many of them. It makes his spark ache with the loneliness of the centuries he's spent in the dark. ]

I saw that I had been wrong about a great many things.

[ Megatron murmurs softly. ]

It's hard to explain.

[ Just as hard to explain as why he lets Skywalker begin to lead him towards the sunlight room. ]

[ as they walk, luke instead cautiously slides his hand up to megatron's wrist instead, tucking it lightly in the joint to keep some physical contact between them. he gets the feeling that maybe the mech doesn't get a lot of positive or harmless touch-- if he was anything like luke's father had been, a lot of people in his home probably still hate and fear him. ]

Hard to explain because you can't find the words, or hard to explain because you're not sure you're ready to talk about it?

[ there's a difference, even if people aren't always aware themselves of which it is. ]

[ Megatron seems surprised that Luke continues to touch him and after a moment, he gently pulls his arm away. The touch is strange and there's a taut, unhappy feeling somewhere inside him that says he shouldn't allow it. It feels too vulnerable, even with as vulnerable as this conversation seems to be becoming. ]

Hard because it's difficult to put into the words the exact reasons. A friend sacrificed himself for me, even though he had every reason to hate me. He offered me kindness, when he could have easily done nothing.

That was the start of it.

[ he says nothing as megatron pulls his arm away, but he can feel the turmoil. he's not surprised about it, not considering what he's been learning about him. the guilt he can sense is nearly overwhelming, suffocating, crushing. megatron hadn't simply begun to think differently, he's completely changed, it seems. for a species that's as long-lived as his people seem to be, that can't have been a simple thing. ]

It makes sense, [ he says after a few moments, maybe a little more solemnly than he means to be. ] There was-- [ his lips part, press thin. is he really going to talk about this? but it only seems.. fitting, in a way. ] Back home, there was someone in a similar position. He was one of the most powerful men in the entire galaxy, and feared by everyone. He'd killed.. entire worlds, whole populations. He wasn't beyond hope, though, in the end.

[ it doesn't change what he'd done any more than megatron's change of heart negates what he's done. but it still.. means something, means everything. ]

[ Skywalker describes someone from his own galaxy and Megatron feels himself fitting into that space so neatly it's as if it were made specifically for him. Megatron can feel the guilt and frustration squeeze around his spark and he has to pause for just a moment. ]

...So did I.

[ He says it quietly, not because he doesn't want Skywalker to hear but because it feels too heavy to say it much louder. ]

My Decepticons wiped out millions of my own people during the civil war. I don't know how many more organics died because they were in our way or because their worlds turned into our battlegrounds. Billions? Trillions?

[ He looks distant as he heads towards the sunlight room. If robots could be pale, he probably would be. ]

[ they step into the room, and luke shivers, though he's not sure if it's from the chill in the air or the weight of megatron's pain. it's almost a tangible thing, something even those without force-sensitivity can sense and feel.

he picks a less-trafficked, winding route through the room to follow, mindful of megatron's size and the trees dotting the landscape. as a desert child, snow had been a slightly terrifying wonder the first time he'd seen it, but hoth had ruined any affection he held for it. now it's just cold and wet.. but he has to admit that here and now, it is pretty. ]

Vader died not long after he.. changed. He gave his life to save mine. [ just days ago. and though he knows his father is one with the force now, it doesn't make the wound of losing him any less painful. ] And I think a lot of people in the galaxy would probably say good riddance, it solves the problem of what to do with him.

[ doubtless, it's what many people would have wanted for megatron, as well. he's sure this must sound.. familiar. ]

But it also means that he can never do anything good again, too. He's just gone. There can never be anything else. No conversations, no closure, nothing.

[ Skywalker is talking of this 'Vader' fellow and as Megatron's feet crunch through the snow, he listens. It sounds... familiar. Achingly, hauntingly familiar. His head bows in thought, hands clasped at the small of his back. ]

I had some last few years aboard the most remarkable vessel with the most remarkable crew. I took a chance I had and did do some good. I made positive changes. I helped others. I was able to try and make up for some of the things I'd done in a small way.

Then I surrendered myself to the justice of the galaxy I had wronged. That's where I've been for the last several centuries. Imprisoned, alone, in the dark. Connected to a mobius generator until my spark burns out. No visitors, no reprieve, no possibility of parole.

[ He pauses, considers. ]

And I can only say that I deserve worse.

I think it's a waste, [ luke says, almost breathless with the barbarity of what was done to megatron. what was the point of it? ] It's just more suffering. It doesn't give anyone back their lives or their loved ones, and though I'm sure it gives some people satisfaction to think of you alone and in pain, it's just.. revenge cloaked in the appearance of-- of justice. That's not justice, that's torture.

[ he glances up at him, blue eyes bright in his face, lashes a little damp. ] It's not acceptable in a society that's trying to recover from war. That's not-- they should have done better. We should do better. [ the alliance, the republic that they intend to set up. war criminals should be given fair trials, fair and humane punishments.

even people like darth vader, or megatron. ]

It doesn't.

[ Megatron can agree with that much. ]

I had a comrade who likely would have agreed with you. I can't say I disagree, either. If this justice, though, is what's required for my people to have a chance to live in peace or for me to atone for the wrongs I've done, I willingly submit myself to it.

[ He looks back down at Luke. He is reminded again of Rodimus, in a way. There is a painful sort of naïve hopefulness to this human, an earnestness that Megatron wishes he could still grasp. Rodimus was certainly more petty than this Skywalker, but... he had wanted better for Megatron, in the end. If nothing else. ]

I was hated. Handing me over to the Galactic Council for trial was part of the price for allowing Cybertronians to become something other than galactic outcasts after our war had caused so much devestation.

[ luke stares up at megatron, mouth thin, brows knit. it's ugly, what megatron may have to return to. that this is just a short reprieve from torture that's going to last a very, very long time is one more cruelty to add to his punishment.

but.. maybe not. ] --Your regret, [ he says carefully at last, arms curling around himself as if cold. ] Is it to do with your war? [ and if it is, will it rewrite his people's history? his own? if the power of these orbs can really do what people have said, then maybe things can be very different for his reality.

it's none of luke's business, he knows. their regrets are often very personal things, after all, but he can't help but want.. better, a kinder fate for the mech. whatever he was, after all, he's clearly not the same person now. ]

[ Megatron hates his prison--almost wishes they had simply executed him. But perhaps, if he is lucky, there will be a chance for reprieve and for him to continue his work somewhere in the future. He is a creature who has nothing but time, after all. ]

In some sense.

[ The question feels heavy and the answer even heavier. ]

There's too much tied up in the war for me to wish to undo it completely. And I've seen what happens when there isn't a Decepticon movement. It's worse in its own way. A Cybertron where those without a useful purpose are culled by religious fanatics and where the ruling classes stretch Cybertronian imperialism further than I could have dreamed.

[ He shakes his head, morose. ]

No, I don't wish to undo the war. My cause was just when we began, even if I strayed.

There is one loyal soldier, one loyal friend that died because of my inaction and my inability to confront myself. He was killed by fanatics I had created myself for the purposes of my war.

[ He trails off, staring at the simulated snow as a few flakes drift by on the simulated breeze. ]

It's a small thing in comparison to weight on my scales, but one life is a start.

[ luke stares up at him, searching his face, chest aching and throat tight with the injustice of it all. having to choose a war because the alternative is worse.. luke understands it, in a way. the death star haunts him, battles he's fought, those he'd killed in the name of freeing the galaxy from the grip of a tyrant. he could undo them, if everything is true, but at what cost?

so he made his regret small and personal, like megatron had, because anything greater is too great a risk. ]

.. It's a start, [ he agrees softly, and with some effort, forces himself to uncurl, to open his posture up again. he takes a breath, two, carefully centering himself, bearing himself up beneath the hurt. it's not going to help either of them if luke buckles. ] One life in the grand scheme of things may not seem like much, but it's everything to the people that cared about him, to all the lives he touched and could have touched. [ he offers a small smile, and finally glances away, out toward the rest of the sunlit, snow-covered field. ] .. I guess you're just going to have to treat being here as the reprieve it is. For now.

[ all hope isn't lost just because they can't see a way forward yet. ]

It's a reprieve, yes. Not one I'm sure I deserve.

[ Megatron exhales, his optics shuttering against the sunlight gleaming on untouched snow. ]

I'll admit, it's nice to be able to hold a conversation again, at least.

[ He looks back down at Luke, gleaming red optics focused on the human once again. ]

It's also a privilege to be allowed to continue the necessary work on myself.

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