( open ) and if i only could make a deal with god

[kovach]

CHARACTERS: takeshi kovacs & you
LOCATION: various locations on the station
DATE: late october
CONTENT: post-mission recovery, eating, sparring, getting high, etc.
WARNINGS: broken arm, nudity, sexual content, and various types of drug use in some prompts

I. PRIDE ( limit to 1 tag-in only, cw: broken arm )   the infirmary

---

[ his fight with cheri had turned out pretty rough, and though his sleeve has its advances with neurachem to make him a little more durable than most, it doesn't negate the rough slam of his body against the wall when she'd thrown him with the rough force of her power, resulting in the broken bone of his arm. when they arrive back at the station, most everybody's not in the best of conditions on account of their shared fights, some left better off than others, and though he's more inclined to just pass out right where he lands, kovacs does eventually make his way to the infirmary, still in the bloody, ripped mess of the clothes he arrived in.

he's not exactly expecting anyone to necessarily help him out here, a bit of stubbornness leading him to search around the room for a sling on his own. of course, while the arm is the only thing that's broken, the rest of his body is still plenty aching from the rest of the fighting and he hisses and grits his teeth in the midst of his search, muttering quiet swears as he looks around.

maybe it'd be helpful for someone to lend him a hand. ]

II. GLUTTONY   the mess hall

---

[ once he's got his sling for his arm, along with a fresh shower and clean clothes on, kovacs tries to get himself resettled at the station, at least enough so for him to get some rest after the big fight. starving, he heads on over the kitchen, fixing himself a fairly simply bowl of cereal before he goes out into the mess hall, seating himself at an empty table and picking up the spoon in his bowl with his currently only working hand.

if someone ends up sitting up at his table, his eyes peer over at the rest of the large room with plenty of empty seating before raising his brow at his new shared company. ] No other seats, huh?

III. ENVY ( cw: drug use )   the sunlight room

---

[ it might be something from that final fight, or maybe it's the way he hasn't had anything to keep himself busy since he's been back, but kovacs finds something pestering in his mind, something about his being here bothering him in more ways than he can really place. it's those times where his mind becomes consumed with old ghosts, visions in his mind that seem more real than they are, and so he chooses to fight them in the only way that's currently accessible to him.

in the bright pink backpack brought over with him from his own world, he carries not only a small collection of weapons but an abundance of drugs as well, some on the little harder side than others.

working like eyedrops, he lets the veuron fall into his eyes, feeling the effects of it work into him fast. in mere moments, he can see the colors of the sunlight room almost completely shift, the trees and the flowers suddenly brightening like a hologram of neon lights, the false stars above turning into lined waves of light circling around as his head sways.

bag still over his shoulder, he spins in place, mouth gaping and eyes wide like he's seeing it all for the first time, bright and mesmerizing. ]

IV. SLOTH ( cw: drug use )   the sunlight room

---

[ the hallucinogens aren't the only thing stored in his bag, and when it all becomes too loud, he finds himself seated against the bottom of a tree in the sunlight room, in the late dark of its nights, dropping the contents of a different drug into his eyes, this one with the effects of slowing everything down, everything falling quiet around him, his heart even slowing slightly.

he doesn't need to be high to see her. no, he can always very well see quell like she's right there in front of him, even when he knows she's gone, either as an aftereffect of still being fairly fresh with the sleeve he's wearing or simply because he can never get rid of her in his head — he'd never want to.

to anyone else who might slip by, he'd be staring at nothing right now, eyes focused with his arms dropped at his sides, bag nestled between his thighs, but for him, he can see every detail, every curve of her face as he remembers it vividly, even the sadness of her gaze. ]

I made a deal to get you back. [ he whispers quietly to her, his own eyes damp as he breathes shakily. ] It goes against everything we fought for. Everything you died for. [ with a swallow, his voice is a quiet rasp. ] But I can't do this without you.

V. WRATH   training room

---

[ after about a few days to a week, he can feel the changes in his arm, healing a bit faster than the room, bone repairing from a combination of the tech on the ship on his own body's advantages. and after enough time of his own personal boredom and a frustration is being so limited with his limbs, the first thing he wants to do is make sure it's all in working shape.

heading on over to the training room, unicorn bag slung over his shoulder, his decision on practicing with his hands or a weapon is all dependent on who he may end up fighting against. looking to someone else in the room, he gives them a nod. ] Need a partner?

VI. LUST ( cw: nudity )   shared living space with the darkling

---

[ one thing he's definitely taking advantage of with all his current free time is sleeping, at least for as much as he can when he isn't fighting the sleepless nights, sometimes paired with nightmares of his past. sometimes, the exhaustion kicks in where he even forgets he shares a room, going to bed the way he's most comfortable — completely in the nude.

if there's a knock on the door — be it for him or the darkling, who shares the other half of the space — he'll wake with a muttered swear, rubbing his eyes and sleepily dragging his legs off the bed. too tired to even think of covering up, and often not even thinking of it much even if he were more consciously awake, he stands and heads over to the door, opening it with a deep squint of his eyes and body fully naked. ]

What do you want?

VII. GREED   anything and anywhere

---

( feel free to discuss with me alternative options of the above prompts or something different altogether. if you'd like to discuss a closed starter for me to write, just hit me up on plurk at hepburns or send a pm. ♥ )

Comments

[kovach]

[ he turns to look at her with question, not immediately answering as he stares at her, taking in a long and slow drag of his cigarette. ]

I'm a lot of things.

[ he's more complicated than most, really. something he's not even sure about getting into. ]

It's just on loan. Guy who originally had it's in prison on ice right now. Giving it a little spin for the time being.

[ which probably doesn't answer her question. ]

[morethan084]

[None of this sits right with her, and she has to break eye contact with him as she tries to understand all of it.]

Is that where most of the bo--

[She almost says bodies, but that's not the term he's been using.]

Is that where they get the sleeves? From prisoners?

[kovach]

[ it's still strange having to explain all of this at all, the concept of it too normal in his mind. though some of it, too, had to be explained to him upon waking, because even while stacks and sleeves were already normal in his time, the future brought about a lot more of moral questions.

some of which he can almost see going through her head right now with the way she almost seems uncomfortable. ]

Some of them. Sometimes the bodies are cloned too. Sometimes they're synthetic. Sometimes they get them through dirtier means.

[morethan084]

[Daisy looks at him when he explains how these sleeves are acquired, her expression falling the more ways he lists off. She’s angry, but not with him.]

And by dirtier means you mean murder.

[Daisy doesn’t pose it as a question, because she can’t imagine what else he could mean.]

[kovach]

[ he answers her with a shrug from one shoulder, the answer already obvious, able to interpret that she isn't actually asking for an answer. he's not going to sugar coat the kind of world he lives in; it's not like he hadn't once fought to keep it from becoming that way. ]

That's what happens when humanity finds way to live forever. They'll do whatever it takes to stay alive, no matter how dirty.

[ except what it usually means is that the rich succeed while everyone else gets left behind. ]

[morethan084]

And what if you don't want that? What if you just want it to be over?

[She's not upset with him, obviously. It's not like he's the one who created this technology.]

cw: suicidal ideation

[kovach]

[ what if you just want it to be over?

that question carries more weight than she might realize, at least to him. he falls quiet for a moment, staring off with a steadiness of silent breaths. he can almost feel the gun in his hand, raising it up to his neck in a haze of emotional pain, the sight of quell at his side, whispering to his ear.

if you do that, it won't all go away, she says.

looking up now in the small confinement of the room, he can see her now, an image of his past, standing in the corner, staring at him in his pensive state. but she isn't there. she's a ghost. daisy won't see her as he does.

he shakes himself out of the drifting thoughts. ]

There's, uh — religious coding. If it goes against your beliefs, your DHF can be coded so that they don't spin you back up. There's that or stack damage. If the data's busted and not backed up, it's over.

[morethan084]

[Frowning when he goes silent, Daisy realizes she might've been too blunt with her questions. She's about to apologize when he speaks up again, watching him as he explains how it works. It occurs to her maybe he's experienced that with people he knew, and the thought has her looking away from him and down at her hands.]

Oh.

[Daisy's quite for a good minute before she looks back up at him, brows knitted together in curiosity as her eyes roam his face.]

How old are you?

[He said this wasn't his sleeve, which means something happened to his old body...]

[kovach]

[ when she goes quiet, he thinks maybe she's done asking questions, preparing to stand back up on his feet before she asks the next one. he scoffs almost silently with a touch of humor. it's a question he's had to answer a few times here already and one that he hates. mostly because he was never meant to reach his age at all. ]

Nearing three hundred I guess.

[ he shrugs, giving a vague shake of his head. ]

Slept through most of it though while I was on ice.

[morethan084]

[That does surprise her, even if he's already told her this wasn't his 'original sleeve'.]

How come you were asleep for that long?

[kovach]

They had me locked up. Going dark is usually what happens in prison.

[ so along with everything else, he's a criminal too. though that's a plenty complicated concept all on its own. ]

[morethan084]

[Daisy nods once, looking down at her hands.]

What were you in prison for?

[It must've been bad if he had been put on ice like that.]

[kovach]

[ he scoffs into a chuckle. the real question is, what wasn't he put into prison for? he can still remember the warden listing off his crimes like a grocery list, though from what he recalls of it, a lot of it had been bullshit stitched together by jaeger. not that he's going to whine about it. ]

Little of this, little of that. Just tend to be the kind of guy who easily pisses off the wrong people.

[morethan084]

So this rich, not-so-dead guy, took you off ice to solve his murder?

[She's starting to imagine what he meant by 'little of this, little of that'. ]

Why does he care, anyway? I mean, he's alive. Isn't he?

[kovach]

Whoever wanted a shot at him tried to take out his back-ups too. When the rich get paranoid, they'll do anything to clean up the mess, make sure they're invincible.

[ he's already seen the kind of extents they go to in order to secure that. that kind of power, the dominance over life, quell had warn them all about hundreds of years ago and she was right. bancroft was just one of many. ]

Kind of like what Cheri did. Took out everyone who got in the way of her immortality, of her power. Wanted to make sure she was foolproof.

[morethan084]

So he's already...?

[Daisy trails off, unsure how to feel by the notion that he preemptively had bodies picked out.]

He picked sleeves out in advance?

[Raising her brows when he mentions Cheri, Daisy scoffs softly.]

And look how that worked out for her.

[kovach]

He had clones of himself ready in storage. Kind of thing only people with that much influence and money can pull off.

[ though with the right equipment, anyone else could attempt it. he thinks about that bio-organic printer they confiscated from bancroft's kid, just stored away now in the evidence locker at the bcpd. even he could pull something off if he had access to it. ]

She lasted long enough. I'm sure if we didn't show up to sniff up the right trees, she probably could have kept at it. Personally, I'm not surprised she ended up that way. Live long enough and — well, it could happen even to you and me.

[morethan084]

Imagine if he put that money towards helping others.

[She can only assume he's like every other rich person out there.

Frowning when he brings up a good point, even if she can't imagine that for herself, Daisy crosses her arms over her chest.]

Immortality sounds--

Depressing.

[kovach]

Not if there isn't something in it for him.

[ he watched the way he used his body to approach the sick and poor that couldn't come in contact with anyone else, putting on a show of goodwill, theatrics just to solidify his position as a god. no one like him gave a damn about anybody but themselves.

but daisy points out the obvious and kovacs sighs, caught in a loop of thoughts he can never really escape from. ]

Yeah, it's ... not worth it.

[ he stands on his feet, moving back to his side of the room. ]

Don't know if he's gonna be back anytime soon. [ kirigan, he means. it's a much desired escape from the conversation. ] Probably just be better to give him a call instead of waiting.

[morethan084]

[Brows knitting together when he gets up from the bed, Daisy realizes she's really put her foot in her mouth this time. It's probably a good call that he's kicking her out, and she gets to her feet quickly.]

Yeah.

[Right. The whole reason she even came here was to talk to Kirigan.]

Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that.

[She wants to at least apologize before she leaves. Whether or not he forgives her for it, is up to him.

Not wanting to make this even more awkward, she's quick to make her way over to the door.]

[kovach]

[ he sighs at her apology, hands going up to his hips as he lets his head hang. it's not like he's upset with her, but it's still not the most thrilling topic to land on, and in these days, his feelings on the matter have only grown more complicated.

even as she's walking to the door and he's faced away with her, he gives a shake of his head. ]

It's fine.

[ quiet, simple, but honest. ]

I'll see you.

[morethan084]

[Daisy looks at his back with a frown before turning to face the door.]

Yeah, see you around.

[There's really nothing else she can say, so she just leaves without another word.]