ximilialog | MINGLE | The "Everyone's Tired and Hungry" Post-Mission Pizza Party

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MINGLE | The "Everyone's Tired and Hungry" Post-Mission Pizza Party

CHARACTERS: Everyone! A free-for-all general chill-out time, thrown haphazardly together by a mad scientist.
LOCATION: The Mess Hall
DATE: Sometime after the mission. Y'all know.
CONTENT: The Orb Crew tries to relax for a hot goddamn minute.
WARNINGS: Likely drinking or drunkenness, the usual party antics. Very mildly image heavy, NSFW for naughty threads, properly marked.

It seems the party has been properly set up for you all! But of course, there's an exuberant amount of 'Newton*' flair added to it, and people can find all sorts of random things — markers for drawing on the pizza boxes (which he distinctly requested, super important) cover the tables, and it's clear by the one designed like a Pikachu and a dinosaur that he's already began scribbling on them. He's also made... board games literally comprised of pizza boxes as well, including Chess and Connect Four, which is lovingly set up side-by-side on a table and done with intent to annoy.

They've got one deck of cards for games, no chips; you'll have to just make some of your own out of pizza box cardboard. The most grand of all creation appears to be a normal-sized Skeeball table, made of flimsy material, with oranges for balls. It may or may not last the night, but it sure works for now!

There's a very strong bottle of liquor from their last mission open for everyone, and, well, it will get you drunk quite fast if you're not careful. But it's also a Bring Your Own Beer situation; hope you guys asked Viv for some to plan for the party!

Lastly, there's classic bar rock playing from an iPhone rigged to a speaker that looks very very cobbled together, from loose bits and bobs from the lab's many boxes. If you go fiddle with that phone's playlist, you may be able to find a small collection of songs that aren't rock, but are likely from the 90's or early 2000's.

And yes, there is a couch with a sign on it, designated specifically for people who wish to nap. If they'd like. Don't be rude, let people lay down when they're sleepy. (Maybe Newton just put that there for him, honestly.) There are 50 pizzas total, which is practically a whole-ass pizza per person, so enjoy! (And thanks, Viv!)

Feel free to bring your own flair to the party, if you'd like.

These are just a few things for a m b i e n c e.

(*If you mention him, he will appear like a terrible omen.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh? Were you in the labs usually?

'Cus you definitely don't strike me as the kinda guy to hang out around beakers and test tubes. [He waves a hand, looking very matter-of-fact.] Tall and handsome dudes, they pilot the big guns, rescue people, fight aliens and get medals.

[ Jim stares at Newton, slightly amused. ]

That's a very rude stereotype, you know. [ Anyway— ] I did ace all my science classes, just so you know. But I was on a command path, and that's how I made it to Captain. But outside of my duties, I'm mostly interested in engineering. If I wasn't Captain, I'd probably be an engineer.

[He grins at that, plenty amused in tandem.]

No shit, huh? So you're trying to tell me you got the looks and the brains?

That's not even fair, dude. You guys need to leave a little for the rest of us. Being Captain sounds pretty sweet, though; sounds like you made off like a bandit.

We hot people come in smart versions, too. [ Genius versions, even, but that's not something he's that keen on flexing. ] But I shouldn't have to tell you that, I mean.

[ He gestures broadly at Newton. Aren't people telling you you're hot?? Gross oversight. ]

I did alright for myself. Got pretty lucky too, I'll admit.

[Pffft. He looks unsure if Kirk's joking or not, and then double-takes a second; then his eyebrows shoot up, just before he huffs a laugh... All in an incredibly quick span of time that practically reads like a Looney Tune skit, of course, as is Newton's way. He straightens up a bit, arms folded, as Guns and Roses starts up on his playlist.]

Well — yeah. Of course. I'm hot shit. [Said in a way that makes him sound terribly caught off guard and not very earnest. You drink a coupla beers and you get so lame, ugh. He's better than this!] Brains can make anyone look good, anyway. But it takes work past that, sometimes! We can't all just roll out of bed looking like a science fiction Prince Charming with a suave voice and god-given baby blues.

[It's one of the reasons he always coifs his hair so intently.]

[ That's a pretty impressive number of changes Newton goes through there, in such a short amount of time too. It's cute, though. Jim enjoys watching cute people getting all flustered a little too much, particularly when it's his own doing.

His smile widens a hint more as Newton finishes with that last remark,tilting his head slightly. ]

Well, you don't need to shower me with compliments, but I'm not going to tell you to stop, either.

[ Yes he's cute thank you, carry on. ]

Who would, honestly? Getting compliments from me is a pretty high honor.

[He straightens up a bit, chin up. 'Cus okay, okay!

He gets what's going on here, Mr. Smooth Operator.]

You are speaking to a total master at flirting, anyway. [And then, adjusting his glasses, he teases more confidently:] And I gotta say, yours could use some improvements if you want to be on my level.

[A pause, as he drops his arms, looking a touch sheepish.

Where'd that confidence from a second ago go? You'd think he was putting on a front.

He glances out to the crowd, feigning casualness.]

... So, who put you up to this, anyway? What do I need to do to help you win whatever bet you've got going on? 'Cus I'm cool to help out, but you totally owe me half of whatever you're getting from it.

Mm, I'm sure I can manage to turn it up a notch or two.

[ But also it looks like Newt's having a time coping with just this little, and he doesn't want to cross the line between teasing/playful and downright pushy.

He glances around them too, a little confused for a moment, then chuckling at the question, shaking his head. ]

No one's put me up to this. Why, do people not hit on you on occasion?

... Not usually, no.

I'm more the move-maker type. Bars and concerts and... parties...

[Places you can easily kiss and never tell. The kinda get-togethers where nobody'll know about the fact that you had some quick, necessary sexual intimacy in whatever place suits the other's fancy. Some good fun, some bad not-so-fun, but always a hell of a journey. Especially when you're in a country you can't speak the language of; that's always a riot.

After a moment, he scoffs, leaning back and rubbing a hand down his face.]

Wow, yeah, I guess I'm the one who wandered up and called you handsome. Of course it's not — boy, I sound kinda dumb right now, huh? But in my defense, I'm totally a light-weight with this hard liquor.

[But that's probably obvious, he's a little dude.

Anyone could probably pick him up like a sack of potatoes, no effort.]

[ Jim's smile softens a little at that. He's always a sucker for honesty, and when Newt drops that whole act and bravado, it just makes him melt a little on the inside. He thought he was cute before, now he's just thoroughly endeared. ]

You're fine. More than fine, honestly. And I don't know about everyone else, but I was just acting of my own accord. This isn't some stupid prank, I promise you. Anyway, I figured you'd appreciate the honesty and openness, given your post.

[ Which isn't the only thing motivating him, but he liked Newt's approach. Very open, very practical, no unnecessary prudishness. Always refreshing. ]

[He cracks a more earnest grin at that, moving to sip on the cup of booze he'd haphazardly left balanced on the speaker a few minutes ago.]

Yeah? I'd rather be honest and open than a total jackass who skirts around things. Maybe it didn't get me a whole lot of friends in school, but — hey. [With a soft little sigh, he settles against the edge of the table a bit more comfortably. Stupid drinking. He's always way more sappy and weird when he drinks.] I was kinda worried I came off as a weirdo, so that's good. I come across as weird in a lot of other areas of my life, which I'm totally into — weird and proud, or whatever.

But that kinda thing, you really don't wanna be the weird mouth-breather lurking around on the space-internet.

Well, that's their loss. I'll take that over a total jackass any day.

[ He sips on his own drink, smiling at Newt's confession. His head tilts slightly, and he's quick to admit at least one thing. ]

I might not be the best judge on that, to be fair with you. I come from the 23rd century, people are generally much more open about that kind of thing, and even there I'd be considered, ah... more open than the average? I believe in no judgment when it comes to sex, sexual preferences, kinks and the like. You don't need to go around shouting it at the top of your lungs, but I don't see why not be direct about it when you're looking. I mean, how are you going to know if people are interested if you don't ask?

So maybe some people will turn you down, who knows. Maybe a few will be into it. I am, for instance, so.

[... The 23rd century is awesome.

And so's Kirk. Even if they just stood around doing a whole lot of nothing, Newt would be pretty jazzed. But a dizzying little burst of eagerness hits him, and he stands straight up, like he's about to get right to work on something, hands shifting into fists. About to save the world? About to bone down? Both apparently have similar reactions.]

I'd be into it!

[Liquid confidence suddenly hits him in a rush, which is usually what happens when he's drank just enough to feel empowered — especially now that he knows this is legit, isn't just someone about to say 'oh sweetie' and pat his head, tell him to run along to his gross Kaiju guts and shrill banter with Hermann.

But then he realizes he's said that a bit loudly. Thank god for the music being louder for once. He brings his voice down a few notches, holds out his hand determinedly to hopefully grab Kirk's and drag him like a kid forcing their parents up for Christmas.

As if shouting would be any less discreet than taking someone's hand.]

I mean — yes. If you're into it. My room's always open. Unless you wanna find a broom closet or a bathroom or something, but that's not exactly the classiest I've ever been, and I'm trying to give a good first impression.

[... Nobody could ever say Newt wasn't always authentically Newt.]

Edited 2021-08-19 18:17 (UTC)

[ The excitement gets a laugh from him, broad and genuine. Newt's too cute, it's honestly a wonder no one else has made a move on him after that post. Then again, Jim is very easy... but he still thinks Newt's pretty high up there on the list of hot/cute people so far.

He lets his hand be grabbed, lips curling into a lopsided grin. Wherever Newt drags him off to, he'll just follow his lead. ]

I think I've outgrown my phase of party hookups on bathroom stalls, [ He comments with a chuckle. ] Your room's fine. Or mine. Either one, I'm not picky.

[Believe it or not, he's had a few moves made. Well, no, you can believe it, but — y'know. He's still honestly a little surprised. Is he having some kind of weird daydream before death, or something? Where he's actually getting lucky with really nice people? This is so awesome. He has some pep in his step, his hand warm and firm around Kirk's as he leads him toward his room.]

Right? I'm 35 now, man, not in college.

[Not that he's... stopped having hook-ups in bathroom stalls. But better to pretend he's outgrown that kind of desperate loneliness. The sounds of classic rock still thuds through the empty hallways, and it reminds him of those times before where he'd clumsily led other people through the back corridors of a dive bar, way drunker and way more desperate for someone's mouth on him. His heart beats a little fast every time, more out of excitement and relief than anything.

Once he gets to his door, he glances back, eyebrows raised high.]

... I'm kinda used to just going with the flow, but I should probably ask — did you have anything in particular in mind? 'Cus I don't really care what we do, man. Anything works for me. I'm a 'every pizza is a good pizza' kind of dude. Well, maybe not anything crazy rough, but you don't seem like you'd be rough, so.

[ Yeah, Jim can believe it, easily. Like he told Newt, nothing like being straightforward about this kind of thing. He's bound to find some people who are into the idea, even if some may get flustered or even bothered by an open proposition like that. Jim evidently doesn't think there's anything to be shy or embarrassed about.

As for desperate hook-ups in dark corners and bathroom stalls, Jim knows about that a little. Or a lot. He was well past his Academy age and he was still doing that sort of thing, but he's a little over it now. Mostly because he hasn't made the time to even have hook-ups at all during the past few months, so. You know, it's a comeback in more ways than one. ]

Well, I do like it rough sometimes. But I don't think we need to go into that right now. I didn't really have anything in mind, no. [ Considering he just hit up Newt out of the blue at that party, it's probably safe to assume he didn't have any kind of plan on his mind. He can think of the most basic question, though, just as they reach Newt's door and he steps closer, fingers brushing along the collar of his shirt. ] Do you have a preference for top or bottom?

[ And popping one button open. ]

[He looks up at Jim, freckles vanishing under a new blush, one muddled with both anticipation and excitement and a touch of mild embarrassment. Handsome dude unbuttoning his shirt? Kick-ass. The excited energy moves from his feet up, and he feels that familiar old stirring feeling grow, mixed with nerves; good nerves! He likes the butterflies in the stomach feeling that comes with this kinda thing.]

I like either! Bottom works, though; I mean, I've been getting used to it again. Practice makes perfect, right? [That's shorthand for I've been messing around a little in that department on behalf of someone else. The condoms and science-approved lubricant in his drawer probably would speak volumes enough, and he's not so sure if Kirk's been as invested as him about reteaching his body the last few days. Ha.

A few more buttons popped open reveals winding tattoos in blue-greens and orange-reds; the stylized creature inked on his collarbone vanishes down into a full piece, his chest always so carefully shaved to proudly carry the artwork. It's then that Newt leans in while Kirk's head is ducked enough to press a kiss to the man's lips in full — 'cus those are just his kind of lips, and the need for that hits him like a sledgehammer. He's always been so compulsive, jumping before looking, and the promise of someone loving him for a couple of hours makes him dizzyingly desperate to confirm this is real.

After a moment of thought, he pulls back, laughs apologetically.]

Sorry, I probably smell like pizza and beer. [Most of the ship does, probably, at this point. But...!] I should brush my teeth, huh?

[The door slides open. Thank god he hasn't lived here nearly long enough to trash it. He still has to account for empty bowls and crumpled cans and manic writings scribbled all over the loosest leafs of paper on a table in the far corner, but it's not quite the whirlwind nightmare that his room back on base used to be.

He does seriously miss the handful of figurines he'd had displayed on his shelf back on the PPDC, but... y'know. Maybe not the most mature look when you're bringing home a captain of a spaceship.

(And hey, if he's just saying he's a captain of a spaceship to get cool points, Newt ain't even mad.)]

[ Jim lets out a hum, airy and a little distracted. Just to let Newt know he's heard that, and really, any configuration works just fine for him, he's flexible like that. Right now, though, he's very much intrigued by what he can see of Newt's tattoos popping out of his shirt; and he pops another button, tugging on the fabric just a bit.

So he has them all over, Jim can only assume. Well, all over his torso anyway. That's kind of really awesome. Jim doesn't have much contact with tattoos in general, so he's absolutely eager to see the rest of that.

Newt manages to derail that thought when he leans in to kiss him. Another sound escapes him, more surprised than anything this time, and he clutches at Newt's collar while tilting his head to kiss him back. It's excited and hot but all too brief, and Jim grins that Newt's even worried about that. ]

Your breath is fine. Don't worry about it.

[ Beer and pizza are far from the worst things to feel the lingering taste of in a kiss, frankly. Anyway, he follows Newt into the room, looking around briefly, interest piqued by some of the papers scattered around. Picking one of them up, he looks it over while continuing to unbutton Newt's shirt with the other. ]

Interesting. We can talk about that later.

[ Or, you know, they can talk later, period. He sets the paper back down and both hands get to work on Newt's shirt, while he leans in to kiss him again, a little deeper and hotter than before. ]

Well, in that case — don't let me stop you, dude. [A kiss-]And hey, [Another peck-] hands off the papers; [A deeper, lingering kiss-] those're robot arm designs for Viv- [The kiss deepens, which effectively cuts off his dorky little ramblings for the time being; it's warm and soft, sharpness left only in teeth that drag against sensitive skin. He always has to move his hands, sex or no sex, and so he gropes along the hem of Kirk's shirt, slides his fingers across the torso beneath to get a feel for the person under it.

Man, some people are just eternally blessed with good genetics, aren't they?

His shirt slides off, revealing a more average body — fit and small, but with soft, less defined spaces, those tattoos vanishing into his waistline; they also seem to end just above his clavicle, too, where an endless sea of soft brown freckles dust across his shoulders and back instead. A canvas not quite filled in yet, it seems.

Breaking off the kiss, he wrinkles his nose and wriggles his fingers at Kirk menacingly.]

Off with his clothes — gimmie, gimmie! [He starts tugging Kirk's shirt off, ignoring, for the moment that the pants he's still got on are feeling really tight right now; nothing like your dick reminding you that you're a human being with biological responses to hot and heavy touching.

Thoughts like firecrackers pop off in his head, bright and electric and — now that he's hyper-focused on wanting to touch someone else — quite lovely.

Everything's good now. Everything's tactile and distracting, and it's not just him spinning down a drain with his own thoughts. Once the other man's shirtless, he reaches out, sliding his fingers through his hair in a bit of awe, their chests touching, the hard outline in Newt's pants clear as day against Kirk's thigh. Newt looks at him for a moment, almost a bit star-struck.]

............ Man you're hot.

[Newton is more than happy to stroke that ego for you, bud.]

Mm, definitely wanna talk about those later, [ He murmurs with a grin. Hands off the papers? Yeah right, good luck with that now, Newt. You're gonna wake up to Jim pouring all over your schematics like a nerd later, you just wait.

Luckily, for now Newt's keeping him very much distracted, with all the kissing and touching and those very fascinating tattoos. As for Newt's body, he'd say it's anything but average, but then he's never liked that definition. Hard to determine what's considered average, and the way Newt presents himself is certainly incredibly unique. That's more attractive to him than a finely sculpted body. Once he tugs Newt's shirt off of him, he runs his hands over his torso, tracing some of the lines of the ink. He's absolutely fascinated, mesmerized almost, and he's a little surprised when Newt goes for his shirt next.

The enthusiasm draws a laugh from him, hands quick to grab and tug at his shirt, pulling it off in one quick, eager move. Underneath it, Jim looks very much different from Newt: a more defined body, for a start, clean lines of muscle and very little fat anywhere, and to add to that, he also has no hair anywhere, and no marks or scars at all, as Newt should be expecting if he remembers well. He also has no tattoos, obviously. ]

Thanks. I get that a lot. [ He grins like a cheeky little bastard, one hand snaking down between them to shamelessly cup Newt's bulge, giving it a nice, firm squeeze and rub. His own pants are getting a little tight too, but he's not quite as hard as Newt yet. Now, that's excitement. ] You're not too bad yourself.

[Newton practically squeaks in surprise at the hand pressing against him... but he can't help the instinct to rut back against the hand while he steadies himself by grasping Kirk's hips. His cheeks are red enough to drown out the freckles littered there as he practically pouts at him.] C'mon, don't tease me, man. I can't be super seductive if you grab my junk by surprise like that!

[He sinks to sit down on the edge of the bed, gesturing down with one hand downward.]

Lemme get your shoes off for you. [The way he says it, you'd think he was just offering a helping hand to a friend. He's nothing if not helpful, okay? No man left undressed! One shoe off, second shoe goes flying to the side, with not a care in the world for where anything actually lands around here; if he finds underwear on the lampshade, then it's clearly been a successful night, right? He'll just have to make sure they aren't left there for Hermann or Yzak or someone equally stick-up-the-assy to point out.

He reaches for Kirk's pants next, too, working to shimmy them down and letting him kick them loose once they're down at his ankles; he can make out a larger than average dick through the fabric of his underwear, not quite so erect as Newt. It's not a King Kong mammoth dick you'd see in the most outlandish Pornhub video, but Newt's a little guy, okay? He's got a tiny ass! He's gotta be able to walk tomorrow, not in a week's time!

Whistling, he says exasperatedly, mostly to himself:]

Oh, geez. You're gonna wreck me. [He pulls Kirk's underwear down fully — 'Jailbreak!' his mind supplies — and adds, glancing up:] Here — lemme get that for you, too. [Newt takes the other's half-hard dick in his mouth without any sort of hesitation, gently at first, and then in earnest. It's a sort of easy skill as he closes his eyes, almost blissful as he works to stroke him into fullness with his mouth. This whole chubbed business isn't gonna fly here, after all, and if there's one thing he's super confident in it's using his mouth on someone to get them excited.

He's practically got a seventh PhD for it. Don't cite him on that, just trust him.

... Besides, it's one of the very few things that'll get him to shut up for a sec.]

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were trying to go for super seductive there.

[ So far Newt's giving off more of an excitable dorky vibe, which to be fair seems to be working wonders for Jim. He loves a partner that makes him smile, that gets a laugh from him every so often while they're getting hot and heavy, and so far he hasn't had a reason to get that stupid smitten grin off his face. Newt's cute, okay.

He does get a more puzzled look from Jim when he gestures to his shoes. That's... kind of a weird request. ] Uh... alright? [ He huffs, amused, but lifts his feet off one after the other so Newt can get the shoes out of the way. Okay, at least that wasn't about some weird kink like he thought he was about to learn about Newt, and moments later they're on the pants. Much, much better, his own hands going to his waist to help push his pants down and past his thighs, kicking them out of the way.

And no, he's not abnormally big, but he's definitely bigger than average. He's also as groomed and tidy around the base of his dick and in his groin area in general as he is everywhere else. It's probably obvious by now that Jim is a pretty vain guy, he likes to take care of himself, and he breaks out into laughter as soon as Newt speaks up again. ]

I'm sure you'll manage. I'll be real gentle with you, though, I promise, [ He teases, but it's short-lived. It's like Newt's geared to one-up him on every corner, even when it doesn't look like he's planning it. It just keeps happening. Laughter and grins die out fairly quickly when there's a mouth very suddenly on his half-hard dick, a full-body shudder rolling down his spine, making him groan and close his eyes. Yep, there we go, no longer laughing now. ]

O—kay. Holy shit, Newton, [ He manages somehow, followed by a gasp, one hand resting on Newt's shoulder while the other weaves into his hair, near the base of his skull. That's all he can think about to show some encouragement without entirely overwhelming him. ]

[You're lucky his mouth's busy, or he would have said 'it's Newt — or doctor, if you're nasty'. Instead there's a hum of approval, and he has to fight not to grin around the dick in his mouth. It's easy work to get Kirk full and ready, mouth leaving the head with a pop as he looks up at him with wet lips and needy pride, his glasses sitting on the edge of his nose; behind the frames, hazel eyes are bright and alert and focused, like this is some math or science test he's dead set on passing.]

How's that?

[He leans in to slide the flat of his tongue across the underside of his length, slow, content with the hand in his hair. His last 'serious' boyfriend loved these; didn't like a lot else about Newton, come to find out, but hey — the sex was good, way back when. Feels like the day he joined the PPDC was the day he practically forfeited any relationships, though; the world was ending, and they didn't have time to 'fuck chicks and suck dicks'.

... Not on the clock, anyway.

Ugh. He sounds like a big ol' slut when he thinks it that way.

Shuddup, Newt.

He grins back up at Kirk.]

Don't you go blowing your load from a BJ, El Capitan.

Edited 2021-08-22 18:53 (UTC)

[ They didn't quite get around to shortened versions of names or anything, and Jim's very much distracted to realize that yes, Newt does roll off the tongue a lot nicer. Instead he's holding onto him while he works his magic, and boy, is it magic. Newt is exceptionally skilled in this, which isn't necessarily a surprise, but at the same time, it is. For a giddy guy who almost didn't seem to know what to do with Jim hitting on him for a while there.

He sucks in a breath and shudders when Newt pulls back, goes back in, makes him groan and roll his eyes just a little. That's more than enough to get him completely erect, though he's not quite pushed anywhere near the edge for an orgasm to even be a consideration just yet.

The sight that Newt makes might just get him there, though. Wide, bright eyes, freckles, glasses and all. Jim groans for a whole different reason. ]

I'm not... quite there. [ His fingers run through Newt's hair, a light tug as he bends low to kiss him, his other hand fixing those glasses up. He was going to get them off him, but now he kinda wants them to stay right where they are.

Both his hands then move down to Newt's pants. Not fair he's the only one completely naked here. ]

[Newton feels the usual flutter of nervous butterflies in his gut, once hands find his beltline. Sure, he's got a heaping of confidence he bolsters frequently, but it's not a naturally grown kind — it's manmade, carefully manufactured by his hands, a determined little project that brought him to the person he is today. He's a little worried he's not gonna measure up, is the point, but he pushes onward anyway, leaning backward until he's on his bed, lifting his hips helpfully to give room to remove pants that are a touch too tight; he's always loved skinny jeans, sue him, and when they're removed, and then his underwear, an average-sized but more than eager erection springs free to rest against a too pale thigh.

He's not usually hyper-focused on staying trim and well-maintained, but considering he'd practically put his body out there on the network a few days back, he's prepared for the occasion. His tattoos continues in swirling reds and oranges past his hip bone, vanishing into pubic hair at a full stop at the crease where pelvis meets thigh. He lays there for a moment with his pants tangled over his doc martin boots, breathing softly in the dim lights with hands on his stomach; he looks a bit like he's waiting to be judged by a jury of peers.]

Oh — uh...! The nightstand drawer — [He points up over his head sheepishly, using one foot to start jimmying the shoe off the other foot. He shouldn't be keeping the dude waiting too long; what if he had somewhere else to be after this? He doesn't know his schedule, okay, maybe he had other things to do.] I got lube and condoms there.

Edited 2021-08-23 02:07 (UTC)

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cw: slooowly nsfw business in here

ain't nothing slow about this thread

TRUE... TRUE.... ⚠ turn back all sfw souls who enter here ⚠

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☠ another subject line reminder that this is a dirty thread ☠

it saucy 🍆👅 proceed at your very own risk

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