July Catch All

[unclesam]

CHARACTERS: Sam Wilson & You (Open + Closed Starters)
LOCATION: All Aboard the Ximilia
DATE: Post Fox and the Hare
CONTENT: Catch-all prompts for post mission feelings
WARNINGS: Will be added to Top Levels

Closed/Open Prompts in the comments:

✪ [OPEN] Simulation Room
✪ [OPEN] Infirmary
✪ [OPEN] Lab/Tech Storage
✪ [OPEN] Training Room
✪ [CLOSED] Natasha

If you want to wildcard anything or want a closed starter, too, feel free to hit me up via PM, Discord: inkcharm#4573 or Plurk: inkcharm

Comments

[deaddrop]

I know what Steve would say to that.

[She'd heard him say it before. How they couldn't let that stop them. Even if there were casualties, if they didn't act, there might be more.

Steve would say that as though it didn't tear him up too. Or maybe it was because they tore him up.

Natasha shrugs.]

I'm not sure that's what you need to hear, though.

[And speeches aren't really her thing.]

Do you? Agree with her fight, I mean.

[unclesam]

Don't matter what Steve thought.

[ There's no heat to his words, though. He gets what she's saying, and it's not that he fully disagrees - but Sam's not Steve, and he carries the shield differently, too. ]

Well, yeah. End of the day, all she wanted was to get food and medicine to people the government was in the process of violently displacing to make room for the people returning because of the Blip. They were herded in camps by soldiers with guns, awaiting some senator or other to vote on their fate like they don't matter. I almost got Karli to understand that there was a different way to go to bat for the people needing to be seen and heard. [ He shrugs. ] She needed to be stopped. She didn't need to die.

[deaddrop]

Maybe.

[She can only take his word for it, and honestly the facts aren't the problem here. How Sam sees it is the important part.]

How did she die?

[unclesam]

She had a gun on me. Sharon shot her.

[ The real failure is in not having gotten through to her before it came to that - and in her doubling down when they'd gotten so close to bridging that gap. But then, Sam has to remind himself Karli was only 19. A kid in many ways, including her stubborn refusal to meet someone halfway who was in her corner, even if she couldn't quite see that. ]

I don't blame her for that, for the record.

[ He's been in enough combat to know that sometimes, even if you'd rather spare a life, you gotta take the shot, and they will never know if Karli would have shot or not. No, the moment Karli pulled the gun and refused to lower it, Sharon had to make a call, and he won't blame her for the one she made. ]

[deaddrop]

No, you're blaming yourself. Which, I have to say seems a little unfair to Sharon. She's a grown woman with plenty of experience. She decided to take the shot. If it was a mistake, then it should be at least partly on her.

[Which Natasha doesn't say because she thinks Sharon is to blame. She points it out because if Sam can be that kind to someone who actually pulled the trigger, maybe he should extend himself a little of the same understanding.]

You did what you could. So did she. Unfortunately, it didn't end well.

[Natasha touches Sam's shoulder, giving it a gently rub.]

So what would you do differently, fighting the same fight.

[unclesam]

[ He leans into the touch with a small sigh of gratitude. Sometimes, it helps to have someone give you tough love. Almost like he knows that and just never applies it to himself. ]

I wouldn't drop the damn shield, for one.

[ The fight was stacked against him - underground quarters limiting the use of his wings, up against a super soldier and refusing to back down down or fight back in an attempt to de-escalate the situation. Add the fact that he's still getting used to the shield on top. It wasn't a rookie mistake, but he knows his grip is more solid these days. ]

The bigger issue is getting her to trust me. We almost got there... I talked to her alone, before all this. We were close to reaching an understanding. Walker busted in to arrest her, and she felt betrayed by me. I couldn't convince her I was still on her side after that. When I picked up the shield, she saw it as a betrayal. I think she thought I was going to represent what Walker did.

[deaddrop]

Not quite what I meant.

[It's not a rebuke though. If he wants to take the conversation that way, she can go that way.

If that's how he read her, then there's probably a reason for it.]

What do you want it t represent?

[unclesam]

Everyone this country's left behind.

[ It's a tall order. Sam knows this. ]

And that includes those who're gonna hate me for carrying it.

[ Because there will be plenty of those. There already have been. Sam's not naive to it. ]

[deaddrop]

That's quite an ambitious list.

[Admirable, but also a lot. Natasha hopes Sam isn't taking on too much, but if it leads to this... well, signs point the other way, don't they.]

One that might end up pulling you in a lot of different directions.

[She also notices that his answer is a who; not a what. That says quite a bit itself, doesn't it?]

You know, I might have a little different perspective on that sort of thing than you do.

Not being American originally, all that.

[unclesam]

[ Sam's not gonna deny that. It's an ambitious list. It's impossible too, in many ways. But someone's gotta start trying, or else what's the point. Sam wants to believe he could lead by example. He doesn't know if there will ever be another group like the Avengers. But perhaps if nothing else, the things he stands for and lives by could turn the shield into a little more of a guiding light for people to step up to as well.

He opens his mouth to invite her to share, but then freezes. Wonders. And the moment the question rises up, he can't push it back down. ]

Did you know there was a black super soldier? Korean war vet.

[deaddrop]

Makes sense. We knew the US was working on a super soldier program. Most countries with the resources were.

[Natasha will neither confirm nor deny her exact knowledge. She will, however, admit she's not at all surprised.]

There's always rumors about different countries. Conjecture. Ghost stories, like Barnes.

[Hard to keep that kind of operative completely dark; deniable was usually good enough.]

Korea was a little before my time though.

[unclesam]

[ It's strange, how that was just not something too hard on Sam's mind. How he'd just... he'd always known his government did fucked up things to his people. But this... he'd just not considered... ]

They experimented on black people. Plenty dead. It took in one guy. So they locked him in a lab and experimented on him for 30 years. Tryna replicate the serum.

[ So they could make a more... palatable super soldier, no doubt. ]

They're never gonna let me keep this. I already know exactly what's waiting for me when I get back. That's why I didn't want it, originally.

[deaddrop]

Maybe. But if we only ever did what people let us do, the world would be a fairly different place.

[Both personally and universally. From some people, that might sound more cheerful; from Natasha the prospect is more exhausting.

Because she knows if she encourages Sam, she's encouraging him to pick up a fight that he won't ever see the end of.]

Why did you decide to take it again? You let go of the shield initially, and you had plenty of good reasons for that, even aside from who the world wants to see as the face of Captain America.

You changed your mind.

[unclesam]

Y'know. When John Walker was handed that shield within a day of me putting it in a museum... I felt like they might as well have spat in my face. It felt like confirmation of all the reasons I didn't want it at first. And he had his press tour all geared up... new uniform, posters, the whole deal.

[ It's so obvious by the timeline alone that the government had been preparing this shit. In the entire six months he'd had to contract with the Air Force and was flying on wings that were no longer even technically his own, they'd clearly been preparing for this exact move. ]

And Bucky sure didn't get it. I think he thought it was just about me not respecting Steve's wish. Maybe he even thought I didn't think I could measure up to Steve. And I wondered that briefly, too. Not gonna lie - I tried to check myself on whether this was just some imposter syndrome at work. But nah. For me it wasn't about whether or not I was good enough for the gig.

[ Sam knows he's got no super soldier serum, no powers. But when has that ever stopped him? From the moment he met super soldiers and super spies and literal gods, Sam has done nothing if not keep pace. There's a reason the Avengers wanted him in their lineup, and it's not just because he's damn handsome. ]

But Walker showed me it ain't just about who's not holding it. It's very much about who carries it. A symbol is given meaning by its bearer. And what's the point of everything I and others like me fight for at home and in the world at large if I let some jacked up dillweed put his boot on the necks of desperate people, and put blood on that shield. What would be the point of all the pain and sacrifice those before me and those beside me have gone through, if I wasn't willing to continue that fight?

[ His people, but not just. He includes Natasha in that sentiment as much as Tony and Steve, as much as Isaiah Bradley, as much as his sister, as much as Karli. ]

At that point... it was my choice. Not Steve's. Not Bucky's. Not Isaiah's or Karli's or my sister's. Just my own choice. I told Bucky to stop looking to other people to tell him who he is, and I guess I took my own advice in the process. Y'know, for once.

[deaddrop]

Then it sounds like anyone who doesn't want to let you keep it can go fuck themselves. Not to put too fine of a point on it.

[The moment probably called for something else. Some tact. But Natasha isn't one for encouraging speeches, and while she is capable of tact being blunt feels better.]

And if anyone tries to come and take it from you, they better really mean it. I know it's not just going to be you they have to go through to get it, it'll be Barnes too.

And I'm willing to bet more than that.