[ Much like when he spoke to Viveca, he feels the corners of his lips tug downward at the thought. Transfer what ails Blue to you instead. The orbs would be that spiteful. The orbs could be that spiteful. But those, too, are merely ideas and not guarantees, aren't they? ]
If it meant turning the tables and just - putting you in my position ... I wouldn't want it, either. [ Saying that comes with a sting of guilt, because he doesn't like to speak aloud how much it's hurt, how much it hurts to be where he is. To know that Blue is going to be taken away from him soon enough. As Blue's life slowly frayed over time, so too has Yzak's heart despite the love he has in it. Always feeling as though his hold on him can slip at any moment and it's just a matter of when. Yzak never has to say it outloud, because he feels it strongly enough and knows that Blue can, too. And that's already enough. ] I'd have to be an absolute fucking idiot if I agreed to something like that...!
But you're being taken away from me already. [ He already has been, technically. ] And if I can do something about that, I want to try.
[ He brings up their intertwined hands, elbow on the mattress to brace as he dips his head to press his forehead against them. ] It's always felt like no matter how many paths I'd have ahead of me to take, paths with you on them, there'd always be something there, ready to stop us. [ There's that heavy thump he feels in his chest when he says that, accompanied by the visceral, burning rejection his very soul tries to rile against it all with.
Yzak's fingers tighten around Blue's hand. ] If I could, I'd smash every single thing blocking our way to pieces if it means getting where I want to be. [ He remembers their shared dreams in his home, he recalls his face buried against Blue's shoulder to hide the tears he couldn't stop when that feeling of powerlessness became too much to bear. ] I want to. But I don't know if I can.
All I can do right now is take this chance to give you the one thing you desire in remaining here; more time.
[ His face tips back up to look at Blue, his other hand coming up to properly take his hand into both of his. ] So please, let me to try and make that wish come true. Not just for your sake, but no matter what awaits us at the end of this, whether you can stay with me or if we'll even remember any of it at all, if success means you'll be able to stay here, with me, to reach that end by my side, it will have been worth it.
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If it meant turning the tables and just - putting you in my position ... I wouldn't want it, either. [ Saying that comes with a sting of guilt, because he doesn't like to speak aloud how much it's hurt, how much it hurts to be where he is. To know that Blue is going to be taken away from him soon enough. As Blue's life slowly frayed over time, so too has Yzak's heart despite the love he has in it. Always feeling as though his hold on him can slip at any moment and it's just a matter of when. Yzak never has to say it outloud, because he feels it strongly enough and knows that Blue can, too. And that's already enough. ] I'd have to be an absolute fucking idiot if I agreed to something like that...!
But you're being taken away from me already. [ He already has been, technically. ] And if I can do something about that, I want to try.
[ He brings up their intertwined hands, elbow on the mattress to brace as he dips his head to press his forehead against them. ] It's always felt like no matter how many paths I'd have ahead of me to take, paths with you on them, there'd always be something there, ready to stop us. [ There's that heavy thump he feels in his chest when he says that, accompanied by the visceral, burning rejection his very soul tries to rile against it all with.
Yzak's fingers tighten around Blue's hand. ] If I could, I'd smash every single thing blocking our way to pieces if it means getting where I want to be. [ He remembers their shared dreams in his home, he recalls his face buried against Blue's shoulder to hide the tears he couldn't stop when that feeling of powerlessness became too much to bear. ] I want to. But I don't know if I can.
All I can do right now is take this chance to give you the one thing you desire in remaining here; more time.
[ His face tips back up to look at Blue, his other hand coming up to properly take his hand into both of his. ] So please, let me to try and make that wish come true. Not just for your sake, but no matter what awaits us at the end of this, whether you can stay with me or if we'll even remember any of it at all, if success means you'll be able to stay here, with me, to reach that end by my side, it will have been worth it.