But Blue, you— [ He stops sharply, feeling a sudden lump in his throat, fingers of the hands both holding Blue's and the other on his lap curling. His gaze briefly drops, unfocused, to the ground, and he pulls in a slow, deep breath through his nose. It comes back out as a sigh, releasing at least some of the sudden build up along with it. And then he continues, voice not cracking like it would have, had he not taken that moment. ] You're not ... going to make it to the end of this.
[ There's a deep, painful assuredness in the statement, devoid of the hope he'd force himself to desperately cling to. But Blue has to be able to feel it better than anybody can see it, and staring at him in this moment ... it's so, so clear to see. It serves to both break Yzak's heart and swell a once-thought nearly impossible determination in him. ]
I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I did nothing but sit back and let that happen, I'd regret it so much that I'd want to change the reason I came here in the first place. And I know you'd hate that, because you care for your people as much as I do mine, and wouldn't want your own life put above theirs. I'd ... hate it, and myself, too. [ And yet, the selfish theoretical has crossed his mind many times before, as that sort of human nature simply can't be helped. Would he actually do something like that? He'd like to say no, but truly he doesn't know, and that's the part that frightens him. ]
That's why, if there's a way something can actually be done, that this potential exists to help you without burdening you with the guilt of giving up my regret or the pain of anything else being taken away from you, I want to do it.
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But Blue, you— [ He stops sharply, feeling a sudden lump in his throat, fingers of the hands both holding Blue's and the other on his lap curling. His gaze briefly drops, unfocused, to the ground, and he pulls in a slow, deep breath through his nose. It comes back out as a sigh, releasing at least some of the sudden build up along with it. And then he continues, voice not cracking like it would have, had he not taken that moment. ] You're not ... going to make it to the end of this.
[ There's a deep, painful assuredness in the statement, devoid of the hope he'd force himself to desperately cling to. But Blue has to be able to feel it better than anybody can see it, and staring at him in this moment ... it's so, so clear to see. It serves to both break Yzak's heart and swell a once-thought nearly impossible determination in him. ]
I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I did nothing but sit back and let that happen, I'd regret it so much that I'd want to change the reason I came here in the first place. And I know you'd hate that, because you care for your people as much as I do mine, and wouldn't want your own life put above theirs. I'd ... hate it, and myself, too. [ And yet, the selfish theoretical has crossed his mind many times before, as that sort of human nature simply can't be helped. Would he actually do something like that? He'd like to say no, but truly he doesn't know, and that's the part that frightens him. ]
That's why, if there's a way something can actually be done, that this potential exists to help you without burdening you with the guilt of giving up my regret or the pain of anything else being taken away from you, I want to do it.