ximilialog | ( open ) I like to call myself wound but I will answer to knife

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( open ) I like to call myself wound but I will answer to knife

CHARACTERS: Erik Stevens / Killmonger You
LOCATION: The Station
DATE: Post-Mission Conclusion
CONTENT: Aftermath / Settling back in the station
WARNINGS: scarification, body modification in the first prompt

( i. infirmary - new wounds ) cw: body modification, scarification

[ a success.

not that erik would say so in public, but he accomplished his personal goal and the mission. he has solidified his use as player, even if his integration into the team was haphazard. he let too much slip to people, they know too much. but that can be a problem for another day. no one knows the extent of it after all, just patches of erik. and erik isn't real anyway. it's not his name.

erik sits on one of the medical beds, his shirt tossed to the side. his skin is littered with crocodile scars. he has a scalpel in his hand, as he assesses the free space to his side. ]

Hmm, think I got a little room there.

( ii. lab - spellwork and metalwork )

[ he hadn't gotten to use much charterwork in the field, preferring to lean on the abilities he did have and the panther suit. he wasn't fully comfortable with spells just yet, but erik is a scientist in his own right, not simply a war strategist. and what he needed was more comfortable exploration in his own time and space.

so erik has a bunch of different metals laid out on a table with a notebook littered with various charter configurations as he tries to find the best combination to strengthen the durability of each one. this would be best with vibranium, but erik wasn't going to risk his suit on an experiment.

he taps his forehead, drawing upon the marks for strength and shielding and weaving them into iron. satisfied, he plucks it from the table, idly tapping the side to listen to the vibrations and noise. he makes a little sound of disgruntlement before he bends over his notebook, scribbling his theory. ]

Sounds denser. Can charter affect molecular structure? Gotta give it an acid test later.

( iii. simulation room - oakland apartment )

[ he's not sure why he comes back.

lack of self-preservation? a reckless need to let all his secrets out? to see if his father will appear just like it had once with the heart-shaped herb? but erik no longer had the herb's effects pumping in his veins. at least he thinks so. he has no way of knowing for sure. he doubts t'challa would have left it in him. he doubts . . .

erik leans against the window. the wakandan sunset beats down on his face. it seems he's at his rawest here, caught between two worlds. two homes that never wanted him. and erik . . . wants something. wants more. he thought he had bled it all out, but talking about it again had given him the twist of yearning in his heart. where was he supposed to go? where was he supposed to be? was he meant to give up the dream and just settle in another reality?

out loud, he says. ]

You should have taken us back.

[ it is the first kernel of resentment for his father. who believed in the dream, who bled for it. who wanted a better life for others. but erik can't help thinking that the minute his mother died, alone and unwanted in a prison, they should have gone home.

but he thinks of his father's tears and he ducks his head, guilt churning. ]

( iv. wildcard )

[ got a prompt in mind? you can reach erik here / pm this account / hit me up @ timmtams ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You really think one will?

[ He pauses for a moment, thoughtful. ]

I'm sure many paths will show up to you, in due time. You'll just have to figure out which one you want to take.

[ erik eyes the glass briefly. ]

That sunset on Wakanda. It was the last time I was alive. I pulled the blade outta my chest . . . and I died.

[ The good thing is that it's more he's learning about Erik, which is what he wanted to. The bad thing is he really doesn't know what to say to that. Knows there's nothing he could say to make it better. ]

Do you want to talk more about it?

[ erik huffs. ]

I dunno. It's kind of a done deal. No regrets, no takebacks. I just didn't think I could see it again.

And I guess I was mad at my old man. He should have taken me home.

How did you feel, seeing it again?

[ And following Erik's train of thought, ] Why do you think he didn't?

It's where he met my mom. And he wanted to help.

[ erik shakes his head. ]

Still. Maybe seeing it again was a bad call. Somethings are just . . . a done deal.

Maybe it wasn't as done a deal as you thought. There must be a reason why you wanted to see it again.

Maybe I'm just a softie for pretty things.

[ he's not sure if he wants to navel-gaze. it leads to him second-guessing himself and that is a house of cards. ]

[ Jim huffs a chuckle at that. ]

Can't imagine you being a softie for anything.

Yeah?

[ he reaches out to brush jim's lower lip with his thumb. ]

You sure about that?

[ Jim can definitely feel his heart leap up from his chest. He's not sure if it's from the unexpectedness of the touch, or the fact that it's Erik touching him; or both. But he certainly doesn't discourage it. ]

A little less sure now.

That's the idea.

[ after a pause, he pulls his hand back. ]

[ And just like that, the touch is gone. Jim feels thrown off balance, not necessarily in a good way.

Yeah, he's just gonna help himself to a more generous serving of that tequila now. ]

[ hmm. erik takes a sip of his. ]

So why were you there? At the simulation room?

[ He exhales after downing his glass; it'll take a few more shots like that for a more pronounced effect, but he's starting to feel that familiar tingle. ]

Ah, just wanted to... I don't know. See a little of home. Have a break.

Home?

Yeah. My ship.

[ But then he didn't get to see anyone from his crew so he's not sure if it counts. ]

[ ah. erik pauses. ]

What's it like?

Well, you only saw the bridge. The ship is much bigger than that. It can comfortably house a crew of up to one thousand people, more in a pinch. The view screen really is something, but it doesn't beat the view you get from the various observation decks. I guess some people would say living on a starship isn't the best or most comfortable life, but in my personal case, I disagree. The Enterprise is modern and sleek, she's the most advanced model of the fleet, and she happens to have a lot of commodities that make life easier and safer for us. With time, we learn to work around the limitations we have. It's... I don't know, it's what feels like home to me.

I can show you around the rest of the ship sometime, if you want.

[ a low chuckle. ]

Sure. I ain't a man who can turn down seein' a space ship. Sounds like you're a little in love with her.

[ Jim laughs. ]

Maybe a little. But she's in a committed relationship with my chief engineer, and trust me, I just can't get in the way of that.

That's fair.

Are you even lookin' for something like that?

[ Jim presses his lips in, then shrugs. ]

I don't know. I've never had anything... serious. [ Never thought it'd be the kind of thing for him, either. ] I don't think it's the kind of thing you can just plan out, though. For me personally, at least, if it happens... it happens. You know?

[ he does, actually. linda was . . . ]

Yeah. I never really got close to anyone. People had a habit of dying 'round me.

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