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ximilia mods ([personal profile] ximilian) wrote in [community profile] ximilialog2022-05-04 06:56 pm

MISSION: 4:50 TO VREFESEA

M I S S I O N   6 . 0

INTROFAR TO GOBLOOD ON THE LINEA WORD FROM OUR SPONSORSFYI

// INTRO. STAY ON TRACK  


This time, after a mission well executed, the weeks spent on the station might feel more restful than they have before before — but whatever the case, and whatever any orber might be occupied with, it is near midday when they all receive a file titled Steamhallow Express. The name might make you guess what the mission will be about before you even open it, but as always, Viveca’s familiar voice accompanies the file’s arrival shortly after.

// VIVECA.AI
Hi, everyone, hope you’ve had a good few weeks… and welcome to all new arrivals. I’ve sent everyone your next mission file. You’ll be taking a train from one city to another. I’ve located the orb to the city that is your final destination, Vrefesea, but it is an isolated city in the middle of the ocean, so you’ll have to get there like everyone else on the planet does: by the Steamhallow Express.

It’s an alien planet, but one without any magic, so those of you who have any abilities won’t have access to them during your time there. Don’t worry, you won’t suffer any side effects, it’ll be just like you’d never had any in the first place. Also, though the technology is rather advanced there, they don’t have any concept of robots or droids, so those of you will have to be masked with an illusion that gives you an organic appearance.

You’ll leave late tomorrow evening, so take this time to prepare — and remember, anything that is magic won’t work. That goes for items, weapons, anything.

The news may come as something of a shock and concern to some, and many will have to make some mental adjustments before the day of departure. Eventually the day turns to night, and then to morning, and time seems to move even slower still when evening approaches. Finally it’s hour one, and everyone on the team will arrive at the teleportation platform — there, the little cleaning bot is furiously scrubbing at a stain left on the floor from their previous mission. Beside it, Viveca floats in her robot body, smiling at each Orber.

// VIVECA.AI
I think at this point, you all know what to do. This mission will be a short one, I believe, so I expect to see you back here in a week or two, at most, depending how quickly you find the orb in Vrefesea. Good luck, everyone.

The loud hum of the teleportation machine is a comforting sound to some by this point… and if it isn’t, well, not to worry — soon, you’ll feel a tug somewhere behind your stomach, and the machine pulls you away, and it won’t matter anyway.

Yet again for a heartbeat, you simply hang there waiting… and then: the chorus of voices speaks and whispers in your ears the goal you must complete in exchange for the power waiting for you —

Without any time to answer, you open your eyes to the loud ambience of excitable chatter and the bustle of commuters moving to and fro within the busy terminal. Welcome to Craemore.

TOP


// PART I.FAR TO GO  


The Craemore Terminal spreads in all directions around you: its glass ceiling filters multi-coloured light from the outside, filling the entire, large hall with a beautiful, almost ethereal glow. A giant, mechanical clock in the middle of the Terminal chimes with a strange melody, signifying that it is 2:30 — and, according to the sign that shows the arrivals and departures, the Steamhallow Express departs from platform 338 at 4:50.



1.0   What this means of course is that there is plenty of time to visit the ticket office to reclaim your punchcard, and maybe even pop into some of the stores before finding your way to the right platform. There are stores selling food and drinks if you’re feeling peckish, and some clothing and accessories stores for those who want to make sure they arrive at Vrefesea looking their best — and maybe also for those who want to make sure they fit in with the locals…


2.0   At the platform, some might witness a varied group of alien-looking passengers, all well dressed, the youngest girl still being a teenager and the eldest looking somewhere between his mid-to-late 30s by human standards. Some of them look more alike than others, and their loud exclamations carry over to where you’re covertly listening to them.

ODEN
Jove, is that really you? Never thought you’d get this big, I remember you when you were a little crofpole! It’s good to see you, brother. And you, Luna, it’s been too long.

TERRA
Wait, you’re Luna? Little Luna? I last saw you when you were a baby! Remember that, Helios? A nice break away from our studies, that was!

HELIOS
Yes, you were all too happy to skip a week of school. Sometimes I wonder why our parents didn’t send us all to the same school… it wouldn’t have taken so long to meet, then.

GOLDIE
Please, don’t blame Mama and Papa… you know they did the best they could, with their travels and all. We could have kept in touch better once we graduated, but…

LUNA
Hey, I haven’t even graduated yet!

GOLDIE
I know, sweetie. I’m just sorry Mama won’t be there for your graduation… but all of us will definitely be.

MARSHALL
Yes, we will. But let us face the facts: Mother is dead. She wants us to go to Vrefesea, so go we shall. Let’s take this as an opportunity to connect with each other after all this time.

JOVE
Well said! Let’s find our cars, we have plenty of time to chat aboard the train.

As they grab their bags and head towards the train, you realize it may be an opportune chance to follow a little ways behind … or maybe you’ll hang around on the platform for a while longer anyway, waiting for your fellow Orbers to arrive and board the train together with them.


3.0   Once inside the train, it is impossible to notice just how big it is: 120 cars in length, there is something for everyone: for the hungry, there are several cars lined with tables draped in silken cloths to cover them, servers in fancy suits delivering the highest-quality foods and beverages to you and your dining companions while a lounge singer croons a sweet tune in the corner of the room. Some cars are dedicated solely to dancing: the performers there have a larger stage to perform on, decked in velvety curtains and sparkling spotlights; and the floor, polished and shining, invites listeners to spend their night — or day — dancing it away. There are even cars for those looking for a little excitement in the form of games: the world’s version of pool, played with mechanical sticks and where the talent lies in being able to adjust the springs at just the right moment before a hit — easy enough to learn but difficult to master. There are also numerous card games played on decks that have different figures instead of single numbers and can be picked up through observing a couple of games beforehand. No matter your preference of entertainment, it shouldn’t be hard to find something to do.

And when you want to retire for the day — well, whether it’s a luxury cabin with a king-size bed, an armchair and even a little bookshelf of your own, or it’s one of the more worn-down cabins that you’ll share with anywhere from one to three other passengers … it all comes down to your luck and what level of punchcard you’ve been dealt. But there’s no need to despair if you’re one of the people with the cheapest ticket: you may have a friend staying in one of the better cabins that you can bunk with … or maybe you’ll get lucky and find an empty cabin whose lock you can pick to claim it for yourself. Just, you know, make sure you don’t get caught …

… especially when you see Valacar Pinot walk past in his bright shirt — because, harmless and sweet as the man may seem, you overhear him speaking with Helios Day:

HELIOS
Detective Pinot, what a surprise. What brings such a renowned man to Vrefesea? Business or pleasure?

VAL
A bit of both, a bit of both! Mr. Day, isn’t it? Might I have seen more of your family here? How intriguing — I never knew Felix and Hortensia had such a big family.

HELIOS
Yes, indeed. You see, Mother and Father worked all over the cities and outside them, so they sent us all to whatever boarding school was nearest to their work at the time… so really, most of us haven’t seen each other for over a decade.

VAL
Really? Well, it must’ve been your mother’s final wish to bring you all together again… my condolences for her passing.

Pinot and Helios walk away, chatting still, their voices growing fainter, but leaving you at least a little bit wiser — there’s a detective on board now, so being on your guard is not a bad idea.

TOP


// PART II.BLOOD ON THE LINE  


You may be fast asleep in your designated car, or you might be having a quick night-cap or midnight snack in the dining car when you suddenly hear the screams. Dragged from your night activity, whatever that may be, you’ll shuffle out in your night-clothes (or your clothes from that day) and find some of the Day family looking utterly distraught. Luna is crouched by the corridor of the car, her arms around her knees, expression frozen in shock as Marshall hovers around her, looking gaunt. Goldie is in tears, making attempts to speak through the sobs wracking her small frame while Pinot in his loud-patterned robe tries to console her through awkward pats and equally awkward There, theres.

GOLDIE
I found him like that, me and — and Oden.We were about to say our goodnights, we hadn’t met each other before and we’d lost track of time, and just as we were about to go to our separate cabins, Oden calls out to me, “Jove! Jove!” I have never heard such a cry before! When I saw the body — oh, there was so much blood! I don’t know who would do such a thing! And why? Please, Detective, please do something!


4.0   If you decide to investigate a little closer, you’ll find Oden standing right by the door, arms hugging his chest. He looks like he’s about to be sick as he stares at the lifeless body of his brother, Jove, lying sprawled over the carpeted floor of their shared car. Jove’s condition is grim. Without touching the body, you might notice that beyond the blood-soaked robe of his night clothing, there are a series of stab wounds just under his ribs, each stab just a little more careful than the last. There is a crumpled up letter squeezed between the fingers of one hand, bits of broken wax seal under them. The other looks dirty with blood caught beneath the nails, the tips broken from struggle. The rest of the room seems untouched, a small box of toiletries in one corner, next to a lamplight, and a set of neatly folded clothes. It’s as though Jove hadn’t even had the chance to settle in for the night before his attack.

This is confirmed by Oden, who, turning to a pale Terra, says:

ODEN
If only I’d gone with him when he decided to turn in for the night…but Goldie and I stayed up talking and didn’t even notice how late it had got. I should have been there with him…!

TERRA
It’s not your fault, Oden. But seeing him like that… it’s almost like when he fell out of Dad’s study window as a kid, remember? But he — he was fine, then. I keep expecting him to laugh and get up —

She trails off with a choked sob, Helios stepping closer to wrap her in a hug.

Indeed, all the Day family are present and they all look some form of shocked and upset, which isn’t a surprise considering one of their siblings has been so brutally murdered. You might try and speak with one of them or have a look around the car — but be respectful, of course. A murder has just happened.

TOP

// PART III.A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS  


You can hear the way the Steamhallow Express slows to a halt, pulling in to a station much smaller than the one you just came from, the rhythmic chugga chugga coming to a stop. The mood is solemn and everyone aboard the train is still silent, keeping to themselves in light of last night’s events. A horror, really, you hear Terra whisper to her brother Helios, and from across the car, Luna and Marshall nod their heads in agreement. They look as though they haven’t slept a wink, faces waxy and wane, the circles under their eyes darker than they should be.

If you look out the window, you’ll see craggy rust-coloured rockfaces surround you that cast a warm shadow over the train. But just past the edge of the station platform is a metal-grated pathway leading directly into a cluster of individual buildings made of wood and steel and packed mud, and strings of colourful flags overhead flapping in the pleasant, cool breeze overhead. The sun overhead is bright and ever so inviting, reflecting off of the white walls and orange-red roofs. This is the trading city known as Qririe Cliffs, an in-between place that feels more old-school than any other location on Novis Nox.


5.0   Before any of the passengers, including you, are allowed to leave the confines of the train, a voice comes over the speakers in a tinny deep boom. The conductor’s voice is just a little too cheerful, given what you all remember transpired — but that’s just his job.

“Good afternoon everyone, this is your conductor speaking, we have been instructed to remain within the train for just a moment longer. No one is to gather their things, but most importantly we are all to remain calm. Given recent events, we have been informed that the Qririe Cliff’s fine authorities are on their way to speak with some of our passengers and gather information to share with the right folks when we reach our final destination in Vrefesea.

But until then there are still beverages and food in the dining cart, and why not catch up on your reading? Let us know if you require any assistance and a steward will be along shortly to help. Thank you, and we hope you choose to ride with us on the Steamhallow Express again in the future.”

The engines have now fully stopped with an exhale, and the voices of your fellow passengers and crew-members of the Ximilia sound louder than ever now, amplified in the silence. You might find you’ll need this moment to recount the events of last night alone, or find someone to speak with, to reassure yourselves that what happened really did happen. Perhaps some of you will take it upon yourselves to get to the bottom of what happened now that it’s daylight. Whatever the case may be, you don’t have much time.


6.0   In what feels like forever and yet no time at all, there is a loud banging from the outside of one of the cars, followed by a hollow, “Open up! It’s the QCPD,” as the authorities have finally arrived. That figure sitting by himself, arms folded across his chest, begins to straighten, scratching at his chin. The deep purple of his eyes blinks once, twice, and then he lets out a sigh.

Well, it’s about time, boys. I’ve got a train to catch, after all!” he says, and you watch as Detective Pinot pushes through the crowd to get to the door, pushing it forward to reveal an organic with bright pink skin peering into the car. Pinot laughs at his own joke as the officer removes their hat and takes a few steps up to enter. And then the blue-skinned detective immediately gestures with a hand towards the cars towards the back. You might decide to follow them if you’re curious, but there isn’t much of a point before Pinot and the officer disappear into the crime scene, shutting the door and making it clear that this is now official business. Occasionally the detective will poke his head out and a couple of the Day family will be ushered in to clear up some of the details and to build the case. Some of the other passengers follow suit for witness statements.

It feels like hours have passed before the officers and the detective re-emerge. With solemn steps, they approach the car where most of the Ximilia crew (and some of the Steamhallow’s other passengers) have gathered. Detective Pinot remains silent — thoughtful and serious, which contrasts greatly to the print of a colourful deck of cards adorning his button-down shirt today — before the QCPD point in the directions of Clara Oswald and Peter Quill, and call their names out. A small folded sheet of paper, torn at one end, is held in the hand of one of the officers. There are a few gasps in the car as all eyes turn to Clara and Peter — or you.

Before anyone can react, the pink-skinned officer, joined by their partner, steps forward to detain the suspects in question. If it’s you they’ve arrested, it’s best to go quietly while the rest of your fellow crew members try and quickly sort this whole mess out. If you’re watching your friends being escorted off of the train, you still have some time to quickly try and investigate the crime scene now that the light is better. Pinot appears to be thinking the same thing, hanging back for a moment.

What you do with this limited time is up to you — what will you do next?


7.0   You might be a little shaken, but there is simply nothing anyone can do at the moment. Pinot might assure you that your friends aren't being imprisoned, and as long as the facts line up, the truth will come out in the end, and Clara and Peter will have their names cleared soon enough. He encourages you to go into the city for a couple of hours and lets you know that there are items here you’ll probably never see in Vrefesea or Craemore. It’s worth a look at least, isn’t it?

If you do decide to go into the city, you’ll find that the energy here is cheerful and bright and freeing. The people of this city have their wares out, spread across blankets and set up in tiny shops. Some of these items include: pottery, jewelry, small trinkets, collectibles, statuettes and prayer sculptures. There are more higher-tech items as well: gadgets and unfinished inventions, household appliances and even some small weapons. Some shops can barely fit more than two or three customers at a time; others are more like stalls with items set up under the shade of an awning. There is music in the little square and people are dancing — if they aren’t hanging out by the outdoor tables, enjoying delicious sweet and savoury foods and drinks. Something colourful and effervescent swirls in one woman’s glass; and a younger organic with bright green skin slurps up at what anyone from Earth might recognize as a frozen popsicle (or something very much like it). You might eventually see some of the Day family there too, Luna and Oden walking past you, and Terra by the edge of the waterside, solemnly watching the waves and the horizon.

You might nearly bump into Goldie Day who dips her head and apologizes, and then shuffles off towards an alleyway nestled between buildings, eyes glassy with unshed tears.

You’ll remember that the Steamhallow Express is set to disembark for Vrefesea by the evening, and hope that your fellow crew members are released from questioning, but you’ll want to make your way back to the train when the sun looks to be setting and people slowly begin to gather their wares back up for the night. There is still music and dancing and the lights from within buildings start to glow, lighting up the town in a different way — it’s beautiful, really, despite the events on the train — but this short reprieve must come to an end.

That evening, the Steamhallow Express leaves once more for Vrefesea. It will become more important than ever for the team to pull the information they’ve gathered together, whether through investigations on their own or speaking with Detective Pinot who seems surprisingly amenable to working this case with you. It might be the eagerness in your ambition, or the fact that he’s never had any kind of partner or team to work with before.

Or perhaps you want to investigate the dead man a little closer: kept in its own car separate from the main passenger baggage (something about the presence of mind, and perhaps the smell), Jove’s body is to be kept in some form of stasis before it’s transported to Vrefesea for an autopsy and investigation in another 36 or so hours.

There’s no guarantee that the body will be so easily accessible, however, and those of you more determined to get down to the truth might need to cause a distraction of sorts to gain access into the otherwise locked room.

TOP


F Y I

The events in this log take place during the month of May. ICly, the train ride is 96 hours, along with the stop at Qririe cliffs.

If you have questions about any of the prompts or the mission in general, please direct them HERE.

To submit a search request regarding any clues, or to speak with any of the NPCs mentioned in the log, trying to overhear conversations, or exploring any specific place during any of the prompts, please do so HERE.

And finally, your soundtrack for this log:

TOP


NAV

dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-st21-126)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-22 09:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Spock looks away quickly, his own eyes going to his tea as he looks for something to focus on. There's a vulnerability he can't quite keep out of his eyes. There has been too much mourning in his life already, but a few losses feel as if they've truly left a scar in him. His mother... Ambassador Spock... Jim. ]

Thank you. He will be missed.
winscenario: (fifty two.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-22 10:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He knows grief isn't an easy thing for Spock to deal with. Well, it's not easy for anyone, but to Spock of all people, deep and strong emotions have always been a challenge. He is aware of this, and it's why he's learned to be careful around them, tactful where years ago he would have been thoughtless. ]

I know.

[ By him too, but in a different way. A Vulcan's life is so incredibly precious now, and someone like the Ambassador all the more so. To Jim, it's more like the last chapter in a story he wasn't really part of, his own still at the beginning. ]
dichotomized: ([poortraits]spock102)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-22 10:23 pm (UTC)(link)
When he was still alive, I found myself considering our differences, but now that he's gone I find myself dwelling on our possible similarities.

[ He doesn't speak on these things often, even if he meditates on them in his own mind. Does he have the potential to become that man? Does he want to? Have the differences between their timelines set them on much different paths? In the years since their meeting, Spock has seen what Jim means to him and what he brings out in Spock. He can see the tightly coiled springs of his tight control unwinding in places and he still cannot tell if it is a good thing or a bad thing at times. ]
winscenario: (hundred sixty one.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-22 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah? How so?

[ The topic genuinely interests him; Jim's never spent much of his time thinking about possible similarities or differences between himself and the other version of him, but then he has never met his counterpart like Spock has. For all that they led different lives, they still exist within the same universe now. Comparisons are inevitable, and unfair too, particularly for Spock. ]

I mean, that's... understandable, but I wouldn't think that it's good for you to focus on that too much. You're your own person. Differences and similarities don't always matter, and you definitely shouldn't let them affect you or shape you a certain way.
dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-startrekp2-173)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-22 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Spock looks up again from his drink. This is not something he has spoken on. It is the sort of thing he might have said to his mother if she were still here. She had always been easy to talk to, understanding of his unique needs in ways many Vulcans could not be. ]

I believe he had found a balance between his two worlds that I am unsure I will ever attain with the loss of Vulcan. I do not know if he attained that merely from age or from the humans he chose to surround himself with.
winscenario: (seventy one.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-22 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Jim can understand the desire to fit in, to find a place in the universe, but it's doubtful that he understands Spock's unique struggles as well as Amanda would. Alas, that is another horrible loss that Spock was forced to learn to live with. Jim can do nothing but be himself, and be here in whatever capacity he can, whatever capacity Spock needs him. ]

I feel the need to point out that you chose to surround yourself with the same humans.

[ Or, well, their counterparts in this universe. Spock could have easily chosen a different path, and likely excelled at it too. ]

Why did you? [ An important question, he thinks. ]
dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-st21-128)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-22 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
After Vulcan was destroyed, I was prepared to leave Starfleet. I felt... a sense of obligation to assist in rebuilding what we could. It would have been the logical duty to follow.

[ To abandon the career he had worked for. To return to the very people who had treated him cruelly. There is little logic in holding onto childhood spite. ]

It was the Ambassador who had reminded me that I could now be in two places at once. He encouraged me to stay. I do not regret that I did. He was always careful not to dictate what my life should be, but the few times that he offered me advice--

[ He pauses, words catching in his throat. It had felt like the sort of advice he might have received from his mother. ]

I believe that he told me things I truly needed to hear.
winscenario: (seventy four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-23 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ Jim stays quiet throughout all that, knowing there's not much he could say. Besides, he wants to hear everything Spock's willing to share. God knows he's not the type to share this openly, so Jim takes every little bit he can get, especially when it's been a while since they've gotten to be like this.

He does get up so he can take a seat next to Spock instead, setting his drink down on the way there, shifting close enough to rest a hand on his arm when he seems to be done. Silence lingers for a while, comforting more than anything, fingers gently squeezing Spock's arm.

Eventually, he asks the question that has popped into his head, with everything that Spock's just said. ]


Do you think you will now? Leave Starfleet?
dichotomized: ([insomniatic]trekxiii143)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-23 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The touch on his arm feels grounding like an anchor. There are moments in Spock's life where he's felt so completely untethered and Jim has been there for a good number of them, but he has been the thing that pulls Spock back to a grounded place just as often as he's sent Spock spinning off into the chaos of his own emotions. ]

Any other way forward would be selfish, would it not?

[ His eyes trail over Jim's hand where he can feel the warmth through his sleeve and then up to his face.

In itself, he's admitting that he wants to stay with that statement. If he allows himself to be selfish, that is what he would want to do, because when all the other factors are removed, he wants to remain by Jim's side on the Enterprise.
]
winscenario: (four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-23 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Of all the ways to react, Spock's question makes him smile, a soft chuckle slipping past his lips. His hand doesn't move, almost as though he can sense how the contact is helping Spock stay grounded, focused on the present. ]

Things are never that simple. We often have both selfish and selfless reasons for any choice we make, and there's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you think it would be selfish to stay, but I know there are more reasons behind that choice than just because you wanted to.

[ Everything Spock does here— well, here meaning Starfleet, that is, he knows it's also because he wants to make a difference, to make life better for others, and the universe a better place. He won't let Spock just classify those reasons as selfish. ]
dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-st22-067)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-23 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ There are moments when Spock envies Jim's ability to follow his intuition. Spock is well past the point of questioning Jim's motivations. He believes he knows the man well and he knows that Jim strives to do what he believes is right even when it will not always be easy. Yet he still finds a way to be true to himself and that is something Spock struggles with. He wants to work towards the greater good, but even with all the factors he's spent countless meditations weighing, he cannot be sure what that is.

His sense of duty to Starfleet and his sense of obligation to New Vulcan pull him in opposite directions and he cannot imagine a path where he can serve them both equally.
]

I did not intend to tell you like this.
winscenario: (ninety four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-23 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Jim does know that the two choices are mutually exclusive; Spock couldn't possibly do both, and he definitely understands that. What he meant is that he doesn't believe they can be so clearly defined as the selfish choice, and the selfless choice. A lot of factors can weigh in, even ones that Spock may not be aware of.

But it's in a beat of sudden realization that he notes they're no longer talking hypothetically, or discussing options. Spock is talking like he has made his choice.

Jim pulls his hand from his arm, sitting more upright. ]


So you are leaving Starfleet.
dichotomized: ([poortraits]152)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
I am.

[ Saying it out loud to Jim feels so final. For whatever relief he might have expected in the admission, it surprises him how much worse it feels to say it. He had been pushing off telling Jim and part of him wishes he was still doing that now because his arm feels cold now and the distance between himself and Jim feels impossibly larger than it has any right to in this small cabin.

It reminds him of a conversation he'd had with his mother, years before. He'd worried that she would be hurt had he chosen to undergo Kolinar. Now, he finds himself similarly concerned that this decision could hurt Jim.
]

It is not because I do not wish to remain on the Enterprise. I hope you will not see it that way.
winscenario: (hundred seventy four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 09:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ Jim's eyebrows knit together, in a mix of hurt and confusion at Spock's confirmation. It does feel final, more so than Jim would expect— he would have expected to hear about it when Spock was still thinking about it, when he wanted to share his concerns and hear Jim's personal thoughts on it. He thought that was what this conversation was, but no. Apparently he's just being informed that he's losing his first officer. His friend, his—

It is stupidly childish and incredibly hypocritical to get upset about this. After all, wasn't Jim going to take that position in Yorktown without talking to either Spock or Bones? And yet, he is upset. He can't help it. He just tries not to turn that upset onto Spock, because he really did nothing wrong, and it's not like he had to talk to Jim about this. ]


I see.

[ Sitting still feels like torture, especially next to Spock. So he gets to his feet, crossing the cabin to the window, looking out to the view and wishing he had something stronger than tea right now. ]
dichotomized: ([poortraits]spock118)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Spock is not blind to Jim's reaction, even if he struggles to deal with emotions in such a context. When Jim moves away, Spock's own hand twitches at his side to reach out and catch him and not allow the distance between them to grow. ]

Jim.

[ He takes a slow breath, reminding himself that it is only logical that he leaves Starfleet. It's difficult to see that logic when he's faced with Jim, not only his reaction but the way his presence makes Spock feel and that frightens him.

Pushing himself up to his feet, he follows Jim to the window, stopping only once he's close enough to feel the warmth of Jim at his side. It's only fitting that even now the urge to follow Jim overrides so much of his mind--the need to stand by his side, to support him as the leader Spock knows he is and most importantly to hold onto the man he cannot deny is the greatest friend he has known and likely ever will know.
]
winscenario: (hundred sixty eight.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 06:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He knows it's a logical decision, and he's largely struggling to stop himself from telling Spock that making such a choice based solely on logic is stupid. But he feels like it would just be his biased view tainting his reaction, an upset response to something happening that he doesn't like or want.

But what can he do, really? He can't stop Spock. Wouldn't, even if he could. He's also not going to hold it against him, no matter how much he wants to be sad or upset about it. It's not fair, not right of him to make Spock feel bad about a decision that he believes to be right. ]


I wish you luck then, Spock. I really hope everything works out the way you want it to.

[ He shoots him a brief glance and an even briefer smile, for only the little while he can manage to hold Spock's gaze before looking away again. ]
dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-startrekp1-116)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The words are kind, but the undercurrent Spock can feel in them is far too complex. He doesn't doubt that Jim means it, because Jim cares about him and Jim's capacity for care is near-unlimited. It's yet another thing Spock admires about him. ]

I had thought we were past the point of misleading each other.
winscenario: (sixty four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It sounds close to an accusation, as much as Spock might not intend it this way. Even if he's not mad about it, it does end up leaving him more on the defensive, though he tries his best not to let it show. ]

I'm not misleading you. I do hope things work out for you. As long as you're sure that's the right choice for you, then you'll have my full support, always.
dichotomized: ([easystreet]easycompany-st22-100)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 07:15 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't doubt that you will support me, however the unspoken but on the end of that statement could--to borrow a human phrase--be seen from space.

[ Is he starting a fight? Maybe he's looking for a fight. Maybe he wants Jim to ask him to stay and maybe that's something he's wanted all along, because Jim is one of the few humans who truly never has a hard time pushing back with Spock. Where many others want to see a machine, Jim knows there is a man. He has seen Spock break separated by only a door and Spock can still remember what it felt like when he had thought that he had lost Jim forever. ]

Speak your mind.

[ A pause. ]

Please.
winscenario: (fifty three.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
Why? So that I can be biased and selfish, and you don't have to weigh the consequences of any choice you make?

[ He sucks in a breath. It really sounds like the start of a fight. He doesn't want that, it's the last thing on his mind, and it was the farthest from his intention when he first opened his mouth. He adds immediately after. ]

I'm sorry. That was unfair. [ He turns to Spock again, slowly. ] But this isn't my choice to make. Whatever I think about it is— undeniably tainted by my own emotions, and by my own desire for you not to leave my side.
dichotomized: ([insomniatic]trekxiii320)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 07:34 pm (UTC)(link)
No, Jim. I want to hear your thoughts because you are my friend and I value your opinions.

[ And his feelings, but Spock isn't comfortable admitting that. Even if Jim's feelings don't change his decision, they still matter to Spock. He does not expect Jim to hide his the way Spock does. He is not a Vulcan and to expect him to live as one would only dismiss the very strengths that make him who he is.

Spock turns to Jim and reaches out to gently squeeze his shoulder. Initiating physical contact is not something he's used to doing easily, but Jim's own freedom with touch has made it clear that the contact is not unwelcome on the whole.
]

I hope you truly understand that it is not my desire to leave your side. Were there no other factors involved, I believe that there would be no thought of leaving it.

[ He can't entirely keep the emotion from his voice now. ]

I do not believe there is anywhere else I have ever felt that I belonged more.
winscenario: (eighty four.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 08:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ That's never been put into question, he knows Spock values his opinions, his view on life and the universe at large. But his opinion doesn't matter here, or at least that's what he tells himself because he would feel immensely guilty and selfish if Spock were to change his mind simply because of him.

Unlike every single time before, the touch isn't welcome right now. Jim doesn't actively pull away from it, but his shoulder shifts just so, posture stiff in response. He presses his lips thinly, shaking his head. ]


Then I don't understand. We all hope to find our place in the universe, somewhere we belong. If you've found it, what other factors could you possibly have to throw that away?
dichotomized: ([poortraits]spock214)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Spock's hand drops to his side. Any hope that he can keep his voice even is lost now. ]

I feel a sense of duty for my people that I cannot shake. Twice in my life, I have put my own desires ahead of the good of my people and chosen Starfleet. I--

[ His voice nearly breaks. ]

It is not my wish to leave the only home I have had since I lost my mother.
winscenario: (hundred fifty seven.)

[personal profile] winscenario 2022-05-24 08:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He can hear the emotion in Spock's voice, and he doesn't want to make it worse, he really doesn't. But he can't help his own broken tone when he answers all that very simply. ]

We are your people, too.

[ What an unfair thing to say, he realizes, but he says it nonetheless. ]

We're your family.
dichotomized: ([poortraits]152)

[personal profile] dichotomized 2022-05-24 09:06 pm (UTC)(link)
You are.

[ He cannot deny what is simply the truth. Jim is his family. The crew is his family. ]

You cannot know what that means to me. Before I came to Starfleet, I had very few connections to people. I was... an oddity to be poked and prodded and looked down upon for my shortcomings. Even after I came to Starfleet, I stood apart. It was not until I served with you that I understood what it was to be a part of something so intangible.

[ He takes a slow, shaky breath. ]

You possess a strength that cannot be taught. You are what made us what we are and my distance will not change that. My regard for you is... immeasurable. I do not expect in my lifetime to meet another who I will regard in quite the same way.

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