another open log t-poses in ur periphery

[firstroar]

CHARACTERS: Blue & open
LOCATION: Infirmary, Blue's room, Sun Room, Mess hall, dreams?!?!?
DATE: the post-Giva mission downtime
CONTENT: miscellany encounters & followups & dreamshares & even new cr?!? I DARE U
WARNINGS: mentions of death/terminal illness are likely, medical procedures/equipment/needles; other cws will be marked as needed



infirmary.

Blue was conscious for all of three minutes returning to the station, after which point he fell into Yzak Jule's arms and was asleep for two days, give or take. Some interference by way of Viveca had his body find its way to the infirmary for the necessary infusions that will see him back to the waking world and a less malnourished state.

Since then, Blue's a frequent visitor here, but he's determined to not be a resident. He'll accept the help he needs to get back here, turn his head away from the needle which pierces his hand to connect him to the concoctions taking the place of food and keep him running another day. He's been lucky to not have been harmed over the course of the mission beyond the strain of exhaustion, so he won't be found there in a sour mood. Instead, he welcomes company while he's tied up here, and he'll keep company those who may be stuck there for their own maladies.

---

dormitories.

He keeps his door open during the busier hours, especially when his psionics have flickered off: It grounds him, helps remind him he's still present, not in a nightmare. That's why passers-by may double-take and catch glimpse of wide, troubled eyes as the Mu sits on an edge of his bed, hugging his arms to himself while he's taking stock of himself with only five senses.

Three hundred years haven't made him shy to looking for help - rather, as his time has waned, he's grown more used to the taste of humility and the need for that help, even if it is simple companionship. It's never so simple for a Mu, after all.

---

mess hall/sun room.

In times where he's feeling better and more mobile, he'll borrow some help to get him to more public spaces. People gather to prepare and eat their meals, and while Blue himself can't partake in much more than teas or broths, there's nourishment in company that he still has a strong appetite for.

When the smell of food sours his stomach too much, he'll instead retreat to the sun room to sit (or lie down, as Majima taught him) under the warm light while others are present. While he's come here for comfort, when his psionics are active he'll instinctively turn his gaze on those with more troubled feelings wafting off of them - his gentle, red eyes watching, inviting company or conversation should they be so compelled.

---

dreamshare

There are some times, when Blue is asleep and his powers are still whole, his sleeping mind can be drawn to others also asleep, bleeding through the thin veil of another's mind into their dreams. He'll be an unwitting visitor at first, but the nature of dreams will gradually rouse him to lucidity within it. He'll figure it out...and perhaps clue the dreamer in, too, should the landscape be too dire.

---

[if you have a preference for psionics on or off, just lmk somewhere in the tag-in; you can also wildcard in if u want idc GO TO MY INBOX IF U WANT IDC COME AT ME U WANNA GO?? U WANNA FNKUCKING GO??/]

Comments

Dreamshare

[bindsthedead]

[Sabriel's dreams are more peaceful this time, although still odd, permeated through with death and magic.

She's lying on her back, in shallow, ankle deep water, looking up at the stars. There's nothing else- the water stretches towards the horizon, and behind her, there's a wall of darkness, running in a straight line as far as the eye can see.

The stars themselves are bright, and so numerous that they seem to almost be a silvery fog- except sometimes, their color shifts to something more golden, and they start to move, before stilling and shifting back to silver.]

[firstroar]

[Blue's form solidifies slowly, with the first thing is dream-senses fill with is that feeling of water hugging at his ankles. he watches the ripples and the distorted reflection of himself, shaping closer to what Sabriel herself sees in him - whether that's a haler, brighter form or something much closer to the frail form she carried out of Death is entirely on her.

soon those ripples lead him to find her shape, and he slowly sloshes over to stand nearer.]

What are you seeing? What are you looking for?

[bindsthedead]

[What Sabriel sees is something haler- closer to how Blue looked when she first met him. She turns when she hears his voice, sitting upright. The stars are still there- and they stop shifting to gold as Sabriel's attention shifts from them, remaining a brilliant silver.]

The Ninth Gate. The point past which nothing living can go.

Seeing Purgatory reminded me of this place, I suppose.

[The vastness, at least- just sky and the surface, endlessly going to the horizon.]

It's a little ironic- the deepest part of Death is also the safest.

dreamshare

[aurable]

Drift had this dream before. Even if his subconscious was deep in the all-encompassing delusion that this was an absolute reality, or if the more subtle details had shifted over time, Drift would eventually wake nostalgic for another iteration of the same dream. It was a feeling he was steadily, pitifully getting used to.

The stage was set with the same scene in mind, but the backdrop had changed. Like two photographs bleeding together in double exposure, the room was an amalgamation of the common area on the Ximilia and what looks like a bar on an alien ship. Everything was scaled to human proportions but what stuck out was the brightly colored vats of fuel and Energon on tap behind the bar.

The place had also been decorated with a celebration in mind. Lights floated above close to the ceiling. Every table, chair, and possible surface had been adorned in gossamer streamers woven with crystalline blue flowers that reflected the twinkling lights overhead. Strung up above the bar was a large sign in too-flowery script with the words:

"Congrats on getting...bitched?" A gruff voice erupted from the shorter, stockier figure in red and white standing beside Drift.

"I know Rodimus meant 'hitched,' but honestly, his malaphors when it comes to human phrases just loop back around to foolishly charming that I didn't want to change it last minute." Drift answered, hands on his hips and an amused expression on his face.

"You put way too much faith in that idiot," The cantankerous figure said.

"That 'idiot' who is doing his best is also my best man for my wedding — or should I remind you, our wedding." Drift playfully elbowed the figure beside him.

"Remind me again why we're going through with Earth traditions?"

"I just find human tradition heartfelt and interesting."

"Huh. You know humans used to burn anyone they found weird at the stake — you really wanna say we're enamored with all their traditions?"

"Ratty," Drift shook his head and barked out a surprised laugh, "Always the romantic."

It was just then the bright-eyed, lovestruck expression on Drift's face shifted into puzzlement and worry when he turned and saw someone standing there he hadn't noticed before. Both he and the interloper were the same height in the dream. Something Drift didn't even question when otherwise he towered over non-Cybertronians. They were out of place...but weren't.

Drift didn't even notice how the scene around him abruptly froze like a still shot as he stepped forward, cautious but too curious to stop himself.

"You're...not here for the party, are you?" The question that didn't sound so much like a question as much as confirmation was quiet, even melancholic.

[firstroar]

It's strangely to Blue's benefit that they're not closely acquainted - it means the shape he takes on can be truer to how he'd wish himself than what another mind would perceive. It means he's not slouched forward in weakness, instead standing straight, clad in his Soldier's tans and lavenders. Bright red eyes were taking on the scene in a quizzical silence, because there is a practiced familiarity resonating in this place that he is partly disconnected from; he can recognize the emotions, but not the memories fueling them. Nor the ones forming this memory! It's all uncanny to his mind, save for the bits of Ximilia peaking out here and there.

Really, he doesn't even feel a full form until focus shifts upon him, and Blue's eyes lock onto the metallic form who questions him.

"I'm not?" His head cants just slightly with thought. "Maybe...I'm not. But then...what would I be here for?"

sunlight room

[oiorpata]

[ andy is, in fact, someone else in the sunlight room, and she is sprawled out comfortably in the grass, eyes closed and enjoying the feel of it. it's easier to pretend it's real that way. ]

[ her entire essence is full of troubles more often than not, something blue has doubtless already noticed, albeit andy tries to keep it all more muted. it just has to be, if she wants to wake up in the morning. ]

The worst part of space is no sun. [ a beat. ] Earth sun. I know about the science of stars now, even if I didn't always.

[firstroar]

[just two old folk sprawled out in the sun like cats in a sunbeam, as one does.

Blue doesn't open his eyes when she speaks, but he is listening, still acclimating to the simmering state of endless years of strife and effort, dappled by those bright spots of care. he can't help but wonder if he seems the same - if his own spirit seems different, were a Mu to come and find him here.]

Humans are born under a single sun. Just as the plants and the animals are. To yearn for it is...as natural as breathing, I'd imagine.

Even I do, after so long.

dreamshare.

[calmness]

[ xichen's dreams are rarely as peaceful as this one. more often they are filled with death, with distant voices accusing him of condemning a friend to death and other, nearly purring as it begs him to stay and die with them.

the scene this time is different; a peaceful meadow, filled with flowers and the sound of life on the mountain it sits on. there is the sound of laughter too, of a small child giggling. xichen sits under a familiar large tree, there is no rabbit hutch to house the small colony of rabbits that have taken to the back hills of cloud recess.

his nephew sits a few feet in front of him, a little boy of barely four that's dressed in white robes and wearing a lan ribbon. he's drawing something, using a piece of charcoal to draw what resembles a rabbit.] Uncle! The bunny is moving too much to draw. [ a small huff. then he stands, toddles over to xichen. ]

When can I take this to Father? [the boy asks, looking at his uncle with what could easily melt into a pout on the face of another child but is controlled, too tempered for a child his age. xichen leans in to look at the rabbit that has one too many ears.] Soon, a-Yuan. At the end of the week, when he is strong enough for another visit. [soothing, gentle. it's enough to earn a soft sigh from the child, who holds the drawing out so xichen can take the paper and set in a pile of others intended as gifts. there's pride in xichen's gaze after he gives it an amused once once, before he notices a figure standing near by. his brows crease.] Has something happened? I told the Grand Master that I would be spending the afternoon with a-Yuan. [if someone has come for him, his own uncle needs him urgently.]

[firstroar]

[it is no official or informant who has come to interrupt the moment, but a boy. fourteen, fifteen at the most, with pale skin and white hair. from one moment to the next, his eyes seem to be either blue or red; from a distance, who can say for sure?

reflecting on the past, on youth...that's what's molded Blue's form here. and while a ribbon is woven around his slender wrist, the rest of him doesn't look as though he belongs in this place as he is.

his gaze had been on the child and the rabbits before being noticed, but now he startles straight, looking directly at Xichen. has something happened?]

What...kind of thing could happen?

I WANNA FNNKNG GOOOOOOO to the dormitories

[hatejakku]

[ Finn hasn't been having it easy as of late. Not after the mission he's been through, being cut from his powers, from his entire reality, for weeks. Any longer, and he's pretty sure there wouldn't have been much left of him to recover.

Even now, he fluctuates between maybe disconnected and far too connected. He's exhausted, mentally and emotionally and physically, more so than he's ever been, and sleep has been elusive at best.

The worst and best part about the entire ordeal is that it gives him direct experience of what Blue's going through. And when he feels most of the other man's presence fade from the Force (because he feels everything these days), Finn's on his feet and moving in an instant. ]

Blue?

[ He lets himself into the room, tired eyes and baggy clothes, falling to his knees in front of the Mu and prying one of his hands away from his body to hold. ]

Hey, I'm here.

[firstroar]

[Finn. whatever tone or color the Force paints relief as is the one Blue is filled with as he sees him draw near. before he can open his mouth to say anything, Finn's already here, and untangling his own arms to wrap around him is faster and more to the point. it means slipping off the bed to meet him, but that's hardly an issue and more just happenstance.

he hates how little he's gotten used to this - the blinding of his senses, that is. enough times and it should be something he can bear with more control, right? but it's always jarring, it always takes his breath away to feel so suddenly alone.

Finn understands. he shouldn't have to, but he does - and Blue doesn't even know how well he understands now. all he knows is Finn promised to find him when it happened, to remind him he was still somewhere real.]

t-poses directly at itachi while the spongebob movie plays muffled in the bg

[firstroar]

[within a handful of days, Blue's able to find his feet under him by himself - at least enough for the short distance from one dormitory to another.

he knows Itachi made it back, same as the others. he knows without having to psionically confirm, but even so...

even so, he gently knocks on the door. he may not even be there, for how little the man gives off for him to perceive, but that's just his way.]

[blackfire]

（ he knows the knock for blue, and gently he sets his calligraphy brush aside. he's been doing very basic, light exercise, which in this case is writing out old haiku he recalls from a book in his father's study, most recently 夏草や　兵どもが　夢の跡. the characters are imperfect, a barely-perceptible wobble on the twelfth stroke of yume, but as physical therapy goes it serves his need — ensuring his right arm does not atrophy too greatly while he's healing.

he rises, comes to the door and opens it, stepping back to allow blue entry. ）

Blue.

（ he inclines his head faintly in greeting. ）

sun room

[spacedisaster]

[ Blue's clock is ticking towards an ending that is all too familiar for Peter and he's often torn between two pretty strong feelings. Sometimes he hovers close to his friend and tries to offer as much comfort and distraction as he can. Others, the dread of what's to come claws at Peter's inside like a rabid animal, wraps around his throat until he's choking with past and present grief, for his mom, for Blue. On those days, he makes himself scarce.

But on the better ones, like today, he looks around the station for Blue, carrying something in his hand, until he finds the Mu. He smiles brightly, trying to keep up the good spirits. ]

Blueee, ey man. Look what I've found in the items teleportation room. [ Peter plops down next to the other man and holds up a Tarot card deck. ] Wanna play? I can do some readings. [ No, he doesn't know how. Is that important? ]

[firstroar]

[he can feel Peter coming, so he's already in the process of sitting up and rubbing his eyes, shaking off the sleepy daze he'd fallen in, so by the time the man makes his greeting remarks, Blue can already smile and nod in turn, but before he can say anything in reply, something's brought for show and tell.

he looks down at the deck, not immediately aware of what he's looking at; he hesitates, then reaches over to touch it, disturbing the pristine deck - that's what makes it click.]

'Readings'... [!] Are these...fortune cards, Peter?

dreamscape/wildcard-ish

[construing]

[ gwen dreams vivid colors. even when the subject is terrible—a year spent behind bars; numerous friends lost through the years; peter confessing he only ever wanted to be like her—the colors are bright. greens and blues and pinks and yellows as vibrant as a child's first paints. not that she can ever remember the contents. it has been a long, long time since she could remember any of her dreams.

even as she sleeps, her ankle crossed over wei wuxian's asleep beside her, a third does not. the symbiote does not share its host's sleep-wake cycles. it rests when she does, but it is alert—not more so than when it senses an intruder. for a moment, the new york skyline, leaning abstract and washed in color; the next, darkness rams blue, venom closing around gwen's mind. the act is abrupt enough to jolt her awake.

gwen blinks at the ceiling. wei wuxian breathes gently next to her. she has no warning from spider-sense. so why…?

the symbiote answers her in its way.

sighing quietly, she thinks blue's name. ]

Blue?

[firstroar]

[being snapped out of sleep isn't always jarring, but when it is...y'know, hoo boy! Blue's left to catch his breath, not unlike the nightmares which rattled him in Sedorum.

it's disorienting to hear a pointed call in his mind in the midst of it; the last time he awoke with a fright, his psionics were gone. this time, though? he can still perceive them - the many minds near and around him, flickering here and there like errant stars. the call gives him something to focus on, but he doesn't answer right away - not until he's sure he's not dreaming or...something.

eventually (and after an attempt to reach out with psionics fails):] Gwen, what's wrong?

dormitories

[winscenario]

[ The past couple days Jim has split his time between cooping himself up in his room with Bones, or popping over to be with Finn, with the occasional break to grab them something to eat. So walking the hallways in the dormitory section of the station isn't unusual for him, and it's how he ends up walking past Blue's room and spotting the door open.

It's strange, but not necessarily worrying. More worrying is what he sees when he looks inside, and he immediately walks into the room to sit next to Blue, one arm resting lightly behind him, hand pressed to a shoulder blade. ]

Hey. Feeling alright?

[firstroar]

[Blue doesn't seem to register his arrival until the bed shifts with his weight, and by the time the hand rests on his shoulder, he's already braced for it, yet still bristles to some degree.

he looks to him with wide, unblinking eyes for a beat.]

...James. [or someone with his face. he can't confirm the truth of the mind behind it as he normally would.] It is you, yes? If...I'm awake.

I can't tell.

gremlin chitters into some dreamshare

[coordination]

[ Blue is in Yzak's dreams so much that it's always hard to tell when it's actually a case of their dreaming minds connecting to one another.

But Blue is drawn to dreams with similar things that he feels and longs for, so this dream of Yzak's in particular will most definitely catch the attention of the Mu's subconscious. The view that greets him something unfamiliar, something he didn't get to see on their last mission: Giva.

A large empty plain surrounded by rockside and jagged cliff edges. Past the horizon is a steep mountain range with evergreens covering their slopes and shadowing steep ridges. Splitting the natural scenery is a stone wall that stretches its architecture towards the sky — and behind that a prosperous city stands proud, imposing and unyielding.

There's no battle here, though. It's quiet, empty. Peaceful. A soft breeze blowing through the rock formations. On one of them sits Yzak, and because he dreams of Giva, he dreams of himself as he was on Giva, possessing the wings he gained there, blues of the feathers as bright as his eyes.

He sits alone. ]

[firstroar]

[he doesn't sit alone for long. after all, it's like he said: Blue's in his dreams a lot, right? and in lying together asleep, it's all too easy to find his way there - easier still when a heart aching for peace and beauty has no qualms in diving into a space that seems brimming with it.]

Is that what they looked like? Your wings. [the ones he called out about in alarm.

Blue has never needed wings to fly, and so he doesn't have them as he floats over to join him - not unless Yzak's subconscious has anything to say about that. it won't bother him either way, given that his focus isn't on himself.]

( infirmaries )

[scarcastically]

[ erik takes small shifts here. his healing abilities are basic, but combined with his knowledge of medicine and magic, he's still an asset and he knows how to treat those. assets are to be used otherwise it's worthless. so he does check up on the beds before pulling up a chair to keep blue company. ]

Got knocked down a bit huh?

[ his tone is casual, not at all judgmental. everyone gets knocked down. ]

[firstroar]

Hello, Erik.

[Blue looks up, blinking out of the idle daze he'd been in while waiting the IV out.]

No, I was not injured. This is just...how I must operate for the foreseeable future. [his eyes flick down to the tube near his hand.] I decided to trust Viveca's judgment on this...since Doctor McCoy seemed to agree.

gundam saad

[coordination]

[ Well.

Yzak's been doing pretty okay since the last mission! It ended well, they got the orbs secured, lesbians prevailed, the people were all safe, Blue and Yzak's unofficial daughter got back to her family. They returned to the station more or less okay, Blue told him he loved him, he told him that back, they even had a pleasant little drinking date!

Of course, this is all happening in front of a metaphorical dam that's cracked and leaking. Not broken! Not yet, anyway. But looming precariously as it's been since these feelings for Blue started to intensify. Yzak's been holding it back as best he can, trying not to simply stare at it and wait for the inevitable.

Especially when he sees Bones' post on the network, and all that it implies.

Crack.

Blue can probably feel Yzak like an approaching hurricane. Where is he even going? His own room? Blue's? Is he going to try to throw down with Degar or Viveca? Either way, his footsteps are quick and heavy against the sterile floor of the station as he makes his way down the hallway lined with rooms where his own and Blue's are located. He's not feeling too great right now. But who would, after hearing and considering that? ]

[firstroar]

[many dark clouds have begun to loom throughout the station, almost as many as the brighter spots in having McCoy reawaken so quickly. the news he came with, however...

Blue feels it, too. things relating to the loss of memory have always been a sore point, after all. as Peter said: who are we if not our memories?

the pressure in Yzak's heart is unmistakable, and Blue finds himself unable to quell it well enough. funny: for all Yzak may lament being unable to change things for the better for him...Blue fears he cannot in turn.

feeling that storm drawing near pulls Blue carefully to his feet and conveys him to the door, opening it to see Yzak in view, but indecisive in his direction.]

...Yzak. [a quiet beckoning. is company what he seeks? or isolation. humans...do find comfort in their own solitudes somehow.]