( open ) we do what we can

[naloxone]

CHARACTERS: marta cabrera et al.
LOCATION: around the station
DATE: after mission: scorpion's bend, the rest of february
CONTENT: marta deals with the aftermath of her first mission
WARNINGS: alcohol use, description of stabbing injury, brief mentions of malnutrition (will update as needed)



undo your regret, they said.
it'll be fun, they said.

( open starters )

Comments

[firstroar]

[how inconvenient, not knowing what burdens he may lay on someone... not knowing if they even feel that weight! beyond what he is told, he can only assume now...and trust what is outwardly given to him by his bodily senses.

like a human, huh...]

About...the injury? [his brow furrows.] The outcome? Or...what is missing...

[naloxone]

Whatever you want to talk about.

[ marta uses her foot to hook the leg of a chair and drag it closer so she can sit just beside the bed, never once letting go of the other. ]

Whatever's concerning you the most right now. I have time. I'm not going anywhere.

[firstroar]

[Blue's hold weakens a bit, but only for a moment in his distraction, in his effort to find that lost sense, to orient himself in this place properly. it's difficult - like suddenly going blind in the middle of a strange room with limited perception of its blocks.

that grip tightens soon enough, however: Marta's the only anchor he has right now.]

Is it really...because of what happened there... [he closes his eyes, brow furrowing.] Was it...that "performance" the orb wanted...?

[naloxone]

[ so marta stays firm, steady. unyielding even as his grip adjusts and readjusts, perfectly ready to be the support she offered to be. ]

I wish I knew. This orb... It seems to be more cruel than the others I've heard about. Whatever happened — [ even now, she still isn't sure. she hasn't had the heart to ask those who were there. ] — it seems like it was what the orb wanted.

[firstroar]

[Blue breathes out a faint, pained sound as he works to recall the last thing he remembers.]

That man...

[...]

We...cursed...an already cursed man...

[naloxone]

[ marta feels something splinter inside of her at the thought of welford again, of his despairing, endless wail. ]

If we had known...

[ she pauses, unsure what she'd been about to even say. more platitudes perhaps. more empty promises that are easy to speak now, now that they wouldn't be bound to them.

besides all that, she cannot lie. and marta can't say for sure any words of risking the orb can be considered the truth. ]

The truth can be a curse. [ the words feel heavy on her tongue, and taste like bitter acid. ] But maybe, in time, [ and it seems he's got so much of it, ] he'll learn to move on. To live again.

[firstroar]

To live...regardless... [Blue's eyes blink slowly, his gaze unfocused on the ceiling.]

Perhaps that will be our fate. When...our wishes our granted. The cost of it...

[naloxone]

[ marta quiets for some time, keeping her uncertainties to herself. she hadn't much thought about a cost to all this. probably because she had (foolishly) assumed the cost was this — the time, the energy. the wear and tear of doing what they had to do in order to fulfill their own selfish goals.

but there's always more to it than that, isn't there? nothing that can be undone, will be done so easily. ]

Get some rest, Blue.

[ marta gives his hand another gentle squeeze before settling herself back on her feet. it wouldn't be wise to get him too worked up now. ]

[firstroar]

[the intention of her rising doesn't strike him until she's already well and done it, and before she can think to let him go, his fingers tighten around hers with a sudden urgency that's mirrored in glassy eyes that search over for her.]

Don't-- [he swallows.] Don't leave. Please. There's...no one here. With me. I can't...feel them.

[and the prospect of being so utterly alone in a vulnerable state is chilling.]