bossily: (Default)
Clara Oswald ([personal profile] bossily) wrote in [community profile] ximilialog2021-10-23 01:41 pm

open ; catch all for October

CHARACTERS: Clara Oswald & OPEN
LOCATION: Around the station
DATE: 10/17-10/21
CONTENT: Clara pops back onto the station after a canon update
WARNINGS: Mentions of death


I. Twice Returned
[Time is such a funny thing, really. In her time spent traveling with the Doctor, she's come to understand that it can be such a meaningless thing. Except for when it's important. And in the series of events that have just unfolded for her, time feels incredibly important. Vital, even.

The thing is, she remembers being on the station before. Remembers her friends there, and the missions. And she remembers the orbs. It had all been one big adventure before. But then she was sent back, gone in a blink of an eye. For those close to her, it's not likely they even will notice she's gone. For her though, time passes more slowly. Hours turn to days away, and days to week. Before she knows it, years have passed. Time spent aging and growing, developing into a different person. Clara Oswald has a home on Earth maybe, but she no longer feels the same sort of attachment to it that she once had. With the loss of Danny Pink and the intensity of her connection growing stronger with each adventure after, Clara's left more and more of her life on Earth behind.

Sure, it's fine to tap in and out of London to check in on people like Rigsy. People who are friends. People who -

Well, people who Clara's willing to die for. Her reckless streak has finally caught up to her in the form of a chronolock. One that's recently taken her life. Or maybe it took her life billions of years ago, things are a bit fuzzy at the moment. She recalls coming back, recalls learning the Doctor spent billions of years in a personal hell because of her dying. She recalls stealing her own TARDIS, recalls making the one person she loves more than anyone forget everything about her.

She had done it for his own good, and the good of the universe. It's a bit hard to justify staying together when you know an entire prophecy was written as a warning to keep you apart. It won't do to have their relationship bring on the hybrid.

Which is exactly why she's confused as she's pulled back into the station and has to try and sort things out. Is the Doctor still here, she wonders. Have billions of years passed here too? Only a few days? Weeks?

Time had started to feel meaningless for her.

That was before the raven swooped in and changed everything.

Now it feels increasingly important to pinpoint exact moments in time. Her fingers press against the inside of her left wrist as she slowly navigates the hallways. There's a heartbeat there. But there shouldn't be. When she bumps into someone as she walks she owlishly blinks up at them, her fingers slipping away.
]

How long has it been since the last mission?



II. Sunlight Room
[For those that know her well enough, it's easy to tell that something is a little off. She looks a little older in her face, her eyes holding a maturity that she had previously been lacking. She's seen and been through so many things in her time away that being back here almost feels surreal. It doesn't feel like it should be possible.

But she's the impossible girl, or at least she once had been. She knows from experience that anything is possible. Usually she's the one forcing the impossible to happen. There's almost something comical about the fact that she finally was in full control of her own destiny. She had the ability to be the Doctor in her own right, traveling whenever and wherever she wanted. She could face her death when she was ready and go back to it the long way around.

She finally had all the control she wanted, only to have it torn away from her again. But she knew now she had a distinct purpose for being here. She couldn't remember her regret from before, but knew that it couldn't be as important as the one she wanted to undo now. She would do whatever it took to protect the Doctor. Even if it meant rewriting time itself.

She stands in the sunlight room, head tipped so she can peer up at the artificial light. It's almost like she's looking for something. She hears the sound of someone walking past and reaches out to grab hold of their hand. There's no words at first, no sign of what she wants. Really, she's just desperate for some kind of contact right now. A reminder to anchor her to the reality of being back and having a purpose again.
]

Do you think this station had a purpose before we all arrived here?


III. Kitchen

[Apparently coming back to life and getting her heartbeat back means that the threat of being caught between her last heartbeat and death doesn't have to be an immediate threat. What is the immediate issue is that no amount of food seems to be enough. Clara's typically anxious over the amount of supplies on the station and worrying about whether or not everyone has enough. She started her hydroponic garden to help ensure the children have plenty to eat. But now that concern is far from her mind as she camps out in the kitchen and eats.

She spends hours grazing her way around the kitchen, only pausing when she catches sight of someone else entering. Her mouth is usually full when this happens, and she swallows what's in her mouth to try and awkwardly smile.
]

Right, so...I can explain.

[She still thinks supplies are an issue and she should apologize for just stuffing her face this way.]


IV. Personal Quarters - closed close CR
[Clara spends as little time as possible in the room she shares with the Doctor. She finds herself not really wanting or needing to sleep those first handful of days back, only getting some catnaps here and there around the station. But when she finally feels disgusting and in ready of freshening up, she makes her way back to her quarters at long last.

After cleaning up and getting a change of clothes, she spends an extraordinary amount of time looking in the small mirror hanging on the wall by her bed. Typically her ego doesn't see any issue with admiring her reflection. Her purpose for looking today has little to do with how amazing her hair looks or how on point her eyeliner is. No, she's far more concerned about something else. It's easy to pretend like she hasn't been gone at all with the others. When it comes to the Doctor...well, she has her concerns. He'll be able to tell she's different immediately, just from the look in her eyes.

But it's the number that's tattooed on the back of her neck that she's worried about. Is it even still there? Clara gathers up her short hair to lift it up and turn in a way she can look at what she's afraid will be there. And sure enough, the numbers 001 are there, taunting her. There's no escaping the chronolock. Even here in another dimension and possibly even another universe entirely it follows her. It's a reminder of what she has waiting for her. Of what she has to hide from the man that's willing to tear the fabric of the universe apart if it means protecting her.

No matter what happens, the Doctor can never know her fate.

She's so caught up in her thoughts that she doesn't hear the door open at first. Her close friends know they're always able to just come inside, and it's likely the Doctor could pop back in as well. As soon as she realizes she's not alone her hair is dropped, hopefully masking any sign of the fact she's marked with a permanent countdown. She forces a smile, though it doesn't quite meet her eyes. She's able to keep her tone as fond and teasing as ever, which is a win. Banter is exactly what she needs to cheer up right about now.
]

Let me guess. You want me to come see something you've done that shows how amazingly clever you are?

romancekiller: (pic#8640882)

[personal profile] romancekiller 2021-12-06 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[clarke gives a small smile hearing that because for all her skepticism, she can't help but find herself agreeing with that] Yeah, hopefully— I'll admit I've been feeling uncertain if it's worth it too though but that's a good way to think about it.
groupiedrifter: <user name=bushyeyebrows> (pic#15004504)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-06 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, that's.

Horrific.

Maybe he should be staring at her like it's horrific. That's not exactly helping anyone here, huh? What am I supposed to say to that? Hell, what's he supposed to say to any of that? Swallowing hard, he considers 'I'm sorry', or 'That sucks', both ends of the spectrum — painfully generic on one side, bluntly inconsiderate attempt at something light on the other — and he settles for a mash-up.]


I'm sorry, Clara, that — fucking sucks.

... What happened with the Doctor, then?

[All the facts first, sitting with her and crying into kleenex later.]
groupiedrifter: mr.bingley @ hollow-art (pic#14771054)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-08 03:10 am (UTC)(link)
... That sounds like a pretty typical Doctor response. For you, especially.

[He smiles sadly, wondering if it'd have made a difference to him either.]

You know I'd never tell anyone your secrets; that'd totally ruin the whole point of a soulmate friend, right? So you don't have to worry, it's totally doctor confidentiality over here.

[But...]

What happened, then? You weren't, uh... able to bring Danny back, or...?
lateness: (236)

[personal profile] lateness 2021-12-10 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, Clara.

[ His voice is soft, and he closes his eyes for a moment like her words have hurt him somehow — but mostly it's because the truth of it is that it goes the other way. The Doctor couldn't leave Clara — not again. He thinks she knows this, too. How could she not?

In most circumstances when faced with this sort of closeness and intimacy, the Doctor's first instinct is to flap his hands and take a very large step back, not wanting to get close. He'll fill those moments with awkwardness until the whole thing is just much too silly and he can slip away. It's easier.

He ... isn't sure he wants to do that now, not when her palm slides against his in such a way, her fingers slowly curling around his to hold them in place. He could kiss her if he wanted to. Or he could stay where he is, feeling her warmth radiating off of her like she's the sun and still feel like he's just a small planet struggling to remain in her orbit, only able to feel a fraction of that heat from where he's rooted. Because that's where they're at now, isn't it? She's moved so far beyond him that this face has become a part of her past, and there's that same cruel joke being played on him again.

He huffs a soft laugh, rueful. ]


Of all the people on this station, it had to happen to you, didn't it? The impossible.
groupiedrifter: <user name=bushyeyebrows> (pic#15004565)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-11 07:47 am (UTC)(link)
[He reaches out to catch her hand in his, squeezing it.

And while he can't quite understand it, her speaking about a man being converted into a weapon makes his stomach fall into his feet. It feels personal, feels like something that twists his empathy into a complicated pretzel. Swallowing hard, he tries to dismiss it, because it's not important right now.]


... He was a really brave, really smart guy.

He knew what was worth protecting.
romancekiller: (pic#11623821)

[personal profile] romancekiller 2021-12-12 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
[clarke considers this for a moment, it's not the first time the question has crossed her mind since she arrived. she has often pushed her own feelings on it aside, not dwelling too much on her paranoia because of how badly she wants to believe not just for herself but for her people too]

I don't know yet— my regret isn't just about me so if any of this is true I don't want to give up on it either. [technically it would be so easy for her to just decide to go back and to deal with the consequences of her actions, the war that has been inevitably set in motion but if there's even a chance she could fix it, she doesn't want to run from it like she has been doing lately]
groupiedrifter: <user name=bushyeyebrows> (pic#14789157)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-13 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
[Newt breathes out slowly, leaning into her shoulder. Not a nudge, but a weight, his head finding a spot to rest against her where they're laying on the bed. It's easy this way; not having to look at each other, but looking at the same quiet space, thoughtful in the heavy atmosphere that blankets the room. He bites his lip, considers everything with more thought than is usual of him.]

... I don't know if this makes it any better or worse, but. I probably would've fallen into the same thing as you, if we switched places. It's hard to love someone you're not with. Harder to try and move on from that with someone else.

I screwed up a lot of relationships because I wasn't ready to be in them.

Yours just, uh. Involves... aliens and space travel and... impossible adventures.
lateness: (242)

[personal profile] lateness 2021-12-17 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Sometimes.

[ His voice is soft, so very soft too, but no. He doesn't move away, not physically, and he doesn't even think to separate himself from the emotional confession either. ]

Sometimes it was hard. [ He pauses. ] Too confusing. Still is, now that she's here.

[ She is, after all, supposed to be dead. And all of the times they'd run into each other had been from some time before her death, with the two of them running into each other from opposite ends of the swirling scoop of spaghetti that was their relationship. He'd seen her die; he'd been witness to it before this particular face had even met her. He'd worn a long coat then and silly shoes, and he'd watched her give up her life for them all.

He looks at Clara now and wonders if the same really is to be said of their relationship too. It'd serve him right though, wouldn't it? He never did like doing things in the one straight line going forward; it always had to swirl around, over and under and this and that and every which way in between. ]
groupiedrifter: <user name=bushyeyebrows> (pic#15251619)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-22 12:14 pm (UTC)(link)
What a coincidence, I'm destined to do that, too!

[He's more than happy to be the idiot sandwich between her hand and shoulder, Clara, thank you. But as he sits there, wondering what he could possibly do to help, he realizes there's really nothing to do. Other than relate, he supposes. After a moment, he says:]

Did I ever tell you about my last actual relationship? How it ended with me getting arrested outside of a bar?
groupiedrifter: <user name=bushyeyebrows> (pic#15004574)

[personal profile] groupiedrifter 2021-12-23 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
[He laughs nervously at that, turning a little red.]

C'mon, Clara, I know I don't seem like a great guy to get into a relationship with, but I'm a little better than that. [How mortifying, though. Does he seem like someone who'd start it? Maybe he does. Maybe he should be a better person, so people expect better of him.] And for the record, he punched me first.

[A-ahaha.

He figures she'll want more than just that, so he adds:]


He got a little drunk, got a little jealous, said a few pretty nasty things. I pushed him for it, and it was history from there. Not proud to admit it, but after he threw that right hook, we got into a knock-down-drag-out in the bar; not that I was winning, because I made the mistake of liking my guys tall and muscular, but it definitely knocked around some chairs and broke some bottles.

One thing led to another, police showed up... He told them I'd been harassing him and that he'd never met me before a day in his life.

The last time I ever saw him, I was getting put into the back of a cop car. [He looks at her, leaning his cheek on his fist, trying not to look a little ashamed about it.] It's a fun little mugshot in my dossier at the PPDC somewhere.

Page 8 of 8