[ and there it is, the reason for the change, how the weight of her can shift to an entirely different balance from one moment to the next. he could ask her how that happened, what it means to go back to where they came from and come back so suddenly. maybe it's just some advanced method of needlecasting or a trick of being double sleeved and pulled out from a different point in memory; there's plenty of explanations from his world that could probably describe it, but he doesn't really care about the science, and right now, that doesn't seem at all important compared to the way she says it. ]

You're right, it isn't. Life's pretty fucked and we're all here cause it's been rotten enough for us to want to do something to fix it.

[ it's where he differs from some of the people he's come to meet on this station, people they both know like the doctor who faces everything like a kid playing one elaborate game of discovery, or newton who acts like the station is filled with a bunch of chummy pals on some backpacking camping trip.

kovacs is always going to be the one facing the reality in all of this, and he's not going to sugarcoat it. ]

But you came back. [ his voice is slightly less pessimistic this time, raising a brow at her in turn with a slight tilt of his head. ] So maybe you grew up, but if you're here, that means you're still believing in something. [ at least enough to think that change is possible. it's why they're all here, right? ]