[For a moment even though Sizhui continues speaking, those words of course I think it's selfish strike pure and utter torment in Wei Wuxian's face, but he schools it away a moment later, blinking and shifting his eyes away.

Rotten selfish boy.

Only caring about yourself.

Never stopping to do anything for anyone else after everything we've given you.

With nauseating effort, Wei Wuxian closes his eyes and banishes the familiar voice from his head, inhaling deeply and trying to focus back on his son. Madam Yu isn't here. And this is...it's different. He thinks it's different. It has to be different.

After a long pause, he finally allows himself to process the rest of what Sizhui's said.]

I don't know if they will allow it. It might not matter at all. [And it's a thought that makes him ache, but it's true. It might all be for naught.]

Still, I...ah, what am I saying? It really is too selfish of me, isn't it? [His voice quivers, unsure and pained.] I know you're trying to be kind, but it's irresponsible. How can I just...[He trails off, at a loss for words and trying to hide the despair settling over him.

He shouldn't stay. He shouldn't. Maybe Sizhui will have Wei Wuxian, but what if some other Sizhui doesn't because of his choice? What if going back is part of his penance for all he's done wrong?]