It wants me to admit to- [a pause as he cuts his gaze away from Chishiya, hands clenching in his lap] what I fear I might be capable of.
Perhaps it's trying to figure out how far I will go, to undo my regret. It could simply be having a laugh. The personal goals are... strange.
[Never centered about one thing, or one idea. Not the ones he's had nor any he had heard of in these past few years. The questions and acts seem chaotic, like a spoiled child making demands.]
But my thoughts on the goals were not a part of my mission- [confess, it said, your worst trait.] I fear I might hold grudges for far too long. That there is nothing I would not do, if it ensured that my people were kept safe.
[His worst trait, to live for as long as he had, and he still held hatred in his heart for all the Grisha he had seen murdered; hanged, burned at the stake or simply sold into slavery. The ones marched to Shu Han as part of negotiations and the bordering villages, razed and torched by Frejdans and there were never any actions taken against this.
No safety.]
That I would sacrifice that which I hold most dear to me, if it meant that my people would live free.
[Wasn't he here, undoing her whole existence? The only person like him. The other half of him, the second heart beating close to his own. The only one who could ever walk with him, and he would never have to watch her die - from sickness, from disease, from old age.
His last, final hope of finding a home.]
I'm ruthless-[confess, like a prayer to the Making.] and I am heartless. [a heart that doesn't beat in sync with another, not anymore. Not since Degar stepped in and quieted the tether.
The connection that binds them, both of them, to the Making and to each other.
He would have marched with her in times of war, been the blade in her hand and the weapon at her side. He would have waited for her, until the end of time. He had seen her face in the Making at the Heart of the World, and there was no one more beloved.] I have wants, and they make me weak yet I would deny it all to ensure that my people are enslaved no more.
I also like pickled fish too much, according to some.
no subject
Perhaps it's trying to figure out how far I will go, to undo my regret. It could simply be having a laugh. The personal goals are... strange.
[Never centered about one thing, or one idea. Not the ones he's had nor any he had heard of in these past few years. The questions and acts seem chaotic, like a spoiled child making demands.]
But my thoughts on the goals were not a part of my mission- [confess, it said, your worst trait.] I fear I might hold grudges for far too long. That there is nothing I would not do, if it ensured that my people were kept safe.
[His worst trait, to live for as long as he had, and he still held hatred in his heart for all the Grisha he had seen murdered; hanged, burned at the stake or simply sold into slavery. The ones marched to Shu Han as part of negotiations and the bordering villages, razed and torched by Frejdans and there were never any actions taken against this.
No safety.]
That I would sacrifice that which I hold most dear to me, if it meant that my people would live free.
[Wasn't he here, undoing her whole existence? The only person like him. The other half of him, the second heart beating close to his own. The only one who could ever walk with him, and he would never have to watch her die - from sickness, from disease, from old age.
His last, final hope of finding a home.]
I'm ruthless-[confess, like a prayer to the Making.] and I am heartless. [a heart that doesn't beat in sync with another, not anymore. Not since Degar stepped in and quieted the tether.
The connection that binds them, both of them, to the Making and to each other.
He would have marched with her in times of war, been the blade in her hand and the weapon at her side. He would have waited for her, until the end of time. He had seen her face in the Making at the Heart of the World, and there was no one more beloved.] I have wants, and they make me weak yet I would deny it all to ensure that my people are enslaved no more.
I also like pickled fish too much, according to some.