... it's not like I made many things much easier myself. [ He can admit as much to himself now. ] If I had a soldier on my team that was anything like how I used to be, I'd put him in his place immediately because even the slightest bit of stupid shit could get you, and your team, killed.

Looking back now, he didn't curb that sort of thing as harshly as he should. Which isn't surprising.

[ His mouth dips into a brief, small frown. ] Not that I'm putting the blame entirely on him for plenty of the shit I did back then. My actions in the end were still my own to carry. [ As horrific as at least one of them was. ]

In either case, you don't need to be a soldier or in a war to have that sort of thing happen. Trust in someone can always be exploited and ruined.