[The words tumble out, sharp, but without anger; he's interrupting both himself and Yzak's current line of questioning, doubling back a moment to the previous subject because he realizes Yzak is drawing some conclusions, and he can't bring himself to leave the wrong impression, to make it sound like Kazuma is some sort of secret violent warmonger.
...But hesitating on the point is enough to put a few more cracks in the dam, and before he can stop himself, grievances are spilling out of him as a miniature tirade:]
...At least as far as he could see, it was the only way to pursue a truth that he sought after so desperately. I understand that. But... Being here in this room... I can't shake this sense of resentment. Why didn't he just tell me from the beginning? He had to wait until we were already on the bloody steamship? Why? So he could be sure I wouldn't leave?
[Now there's an edge of anger creeping in, a bitterness that he's been bottling up for some time now threatening to come uncorked. He trusted Kazuma more than anyone, and he'd thought the feeling was mutual. It hurts him to look back at this moment and know it wasn't entirely true. But even more than that... It saddens him, knowing full well that Kazuma probably did trust him, at least as much as he had the capacity for at the time. And that still wasn't enough to make him be honest.
Shoulders that were just tensed in anger a few seconds ago now sag sadly, and Ryunosuke makes a weak, dismissive gesture, glancing at Yzak with an apologetic wince.]
...Sorry. You... You really didn't need to hear any of that. I just... [He shakes his head lightly, rubbing the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger in embarrassment.] Yes. We've talked about it a bit... He would have had to tell me, eventually. He just... Never got the chance.
no subject
[The words tumble out, sharp, but without anger; he's interrupting both himself and Yzak's current line of questioning, doubling back a moment to the previous subject because he realizes Yzak is drawing some conclusions, and he can't bring himself to leave the wrong impression, to make it sound like Kazuma is some sort of secret violent warmonger.
...But hesitating on the point is enough to put a few more cracks in the dam, and before he can stop himself, grievances are spilling out of him as a miniature tirade:]
...At least as far as he could see, it was the only way to pursue a truth that he sought after so desperately. I understand that. But... Being here in this room... I can't shake this sense of resentment. Why didn't he just tell me from the beginning? He had to wait until we were already on the bloody steamship? Why? So he could be sure I wouldn't leave?
[Now there's an edge of anger creeping in, a bitterness that he's been bottling up for some time now threatening to come uncorked. He trusted Kazuma more than anyone, and he'd thought the feeling was mutual. It hurts him to look back at this moment and know it wasn't entirely true. But even more than that... It saddens him, knowing full well that Kazuma probably did trust him, at least as much as he had the capacity for at the time. And that still wasn't enough to make him be honest.
Shoulders that were just tensed in anger a few seconds ago now sag sadly, and Ryunosuke makes a weak, dismissive gesture, glancing at Yzak with an apologetic wince.]
...Sorry. You... You really didn't need to hear any of that. I just... [He shakes his head lightly, rubbing the bridge of his nose with thumb and forefinger in embarrassment.] Yes. We've talked about it a bit... He would have had to tell me, eventually. He just... Never got the chance.