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（ he remains perfectly still until the moment mccoy is gone from his sightline, until his footsteps have receded down the hall.

and then his shoulders sag, and he lifts one hand up to bury his fingers briefly in his hair, leaning into the respite of his palm.

it is only a moment. a sliver of vulnerability, there and gone the way a cloud chases the moon. when he exhales, it is steady.

then he rises, and brings the dishes to the kitchen. he no longer has an appetite of any sort. ）