[He seems to consider his words before he can speak them, smoothing his hands over his knees nervously. Moments like these, he feels like every inch of him is uncomfortable, like he doesn't fit in his body correctly anymore.]
It feels like I'm numb. I'm so numb, I can't tell if stuff's been amputated. Like... the things I should love go right through me. I sit at my desk and stare at blank journals until someone knocks. I don't trust my thoughts anymore, so I've been staying away from everyone else. And when someone hugs me or takes my hand or comforts me, there's this little voice in the back of my head — it, uhhhhm. It just says don't touch me over and over... and I'm scared it'll always be there, and the numbness isn't temporary, and they won in making me something I'm not, even after they're gone.
What if I'm just some dimmer, more pathetic version of Newt Geiszler now?
👀 looks betwixt ur fingers | cw: mental health stuff wooohooo
[He seems to consider his words before he can speak them, smoothing his hands over his knees nervously. Moments like these, he feels like every inch of him is uncomfortable, like he doesn't fit in his body correctly anymore.]
It feels like I'm numb. I'm so numb, I can't tell if stuff's been amputated. Like... the things I should love go right through me. I sit at my desk and stare at blank journals until someone knocks. I don't trust my thoughts anymore, so I've been staying away from everyone else. And when someone hugs me or takes my hand or comforts me, there's this little voice in the back of my head — it, uhhhhm. It just says don't touch me over and over... and I'm scared it'll always be there, and the numbness isn't temporary, and they won in making me something I'm not, even after they're gone.
What if I'm just some dimmer, more pathetic version of Newt Geiszler now?