[He basks in the warmth of her figure like a lizard along a heated rock, the fast beating of his heart finally slowing. But then again, she was always good at calming him after a nightmare, wasn't she? Nightmares that had been their fault all along. All this time... all these awful feelings. The fear she'd felt of him before — all of it had come down to the snapping of bone in a dream-world neither were allowed to remember.
All that pain that hadn't been explained until now. It's staggering to look back.
He laughs, sniffling, at her description of the TARDIS, though his smile fades by the end of her gentle reply. Because of course it does. But he humors her, gives her a chance to convince him; a hefty task, for a man who still has the deaths of civilians burned behind his eyelids... who still has the smell of his friends' blood in his nostrils.]
... Strong how?
[He leans his forehead against her still, but his eyes are closed, lost to memories of the last two, four, six — eleven months. But especially that train; god, that train.]
I didn't notice them all that time... couldn't find a way to remember them after the dreams. Couldn't stop 'em from breaking your arm, or pushing away Hermann and Daisy... Couldn't finish them off in Sedorum, or warn anyone in Giva... I laid in the sunroom with you and couldn't say a word —
And the only reason we're all still here is because of people like Alina and Rhys on that train... or the Doctor in that holding room... or Sabriel and the others in my head. I didn't do any of that.
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All that pain that hadn't been explained until now. It's staggering to look back.
He laughs, sniffling, at her description of the TARDIS, though his smile fades by the end of her gentle reply. Because of course it does. But he humors her, gives her a chance to convince him; a hefty task, for a man who still has the deaths of civilians burned behind his eyelids... who still has the smell of his friends' blood in his nostrils.]
... Strong how?
[He leans his forehead against her still, but his eyes are closed, lost to memories of the last two, four, six — eleven months. But especially that train; god, that train.]
I didn't notice them all that time... couldn't find a way to remember them after the dreams. Couldn't stop 'em from breaking your arm, or pushing away Hermann and Daisy... Couldn't finish them off in Sedorum, or warn anyone in Giva... I laid in the sunroom with you and couldn't say a word —
And the only reason we're all still here is because of people like Alina and Rhys on that train... or the Doctor in that holding room... or Sabriel and the others in my head. I didn't do any of that.