ximilialog | [Mostly Open] So we'll press, and press 'til you can't take it anymore!

Entry tags:

[Mostly Open] So we'll press, and press 'til you can't take it anymore!

CHARACTERS: Precursors and you. And Eventually Newton. Hopefully!
LOCATION: A holding room in Ximilia Station.
DATE: Est. two days post-mission, after the kaiju is defeated and the orb is retrieved.
CONTENT: The precursors are revealed — and are finally removed from Newt's mind.
WARNINGS: Possession and the bodily autonomy issues that come with that. More will be added if necessary!

Closed and opened starters will be added as I go, which will be announced on plurk! But if you don't use plurk or would rather keep an eye out by email/tracking, feel free to use the tracking option and mark to receive notifs any new top level comments posted to this log! The log will involve an open starter to visit the precursors where they're cuffed/contained in the room, so stay tuned.

Also no rush once the open starters are posted!

Feel free to focus on the player plot log first and come back to this later.

CLOSED STARTER | THE DOCTOR
DARKLING'S TOP LEVEL | WHILE NEWT WAS SLEEPING...
OPEN STARTER | THE PRECURSORS, REVEALED
CLOSED FINAL CONCLUSION | THE PRECURSORS, REMOVED
OPEN PROMPTS | NEWTON GEISZLER'S RETURN

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Daisy definitely shouldn't be standing without someone there, but that doesn't stop her from trying once she's got a clear shot at going to see Newton late one night. After their last conversation, she's been desperate to speak to him in person. To see him.

Thankfully he's only a few rows down from where she is, but even then, it takes her longer than it normally would. With no one around to scold her, she finally makes it over to where he is and pulls back the curtain. She half expects for him to be asleep, but is just as startled as he seems to be at seeing her.]

Sorry.

[Her eyes are locked on him, a wave of emotions coming over her. She's been asking him anytime someone comes to see her, but everyone has given vague answers at best as to how he's doing.]

Is now a bad time?

Literally anything. I love hearing about this kind of stuff! Besides, it's good to know for whatever we try to do with this chakra business. I've never interacted with it, so it pays to be as educated as possible! Right?

['Because he's a nerd' is the answer, Itachi.

... Ugh, he's eating his veggies now. Damn healthy foods.

(... it's good though, he's just bitter about healthy food, who isn't????)]

[He relaxes his hands, allows them to fall as Yzak's hand carefully presses his arm. Right. Sleep will be better, and the memory that had poured into his head will lessen with time... He'll adjust. Humans are super malleable. They bounce back from some crazy shit. What's one alien possession, huh?

(A lot, he thinks. But he'll try anyway, because fuck it.)

An exasperated sound leaves him.]

I was talking to you like an asshole. Why wouldn't you have hit me?

Sure, it wasn't me, but it's not like you knew that.

[Law isn't going to bring it up though his glance does shift to it when it rises out of habit.]

Mm. Now I know next time you try to pick a fight with me I need to alert Dr McCoy to prepare the OR.
[This is like half a joke, to lighten the mood but also sort of not.]

（ newt receives an attachment file. it's ... long, academically dry, and details various types of chakra (the various elements, as well as yin and yang forms) and their applications.

look, itachi is also a fucking nerd, of course he just has this on hand. ）

Check your earpiece.

[He chuckles at the response. Sounds like something Law would tell him, actually.]

Yeah, well, that's not what I think of when someone mentions having a better use of my time. If I wanted to go read a book or hang out in the common room I'd do that.

[And he does, sometimes. He might be introverted, but he does also enjoy his free time when he has something he wants to do. This just means what he wants to do is exactly what he's doing right now.]

I appreciate the intent, but I guess you're stuck with me at the moment.

[Newton's not an idiot.

He knows Daisy shouldn't be up on her feet right now; in fact, he had been counting in it, because it meant he had time to try to figure out what he'd say to her. Some part of him had really thought that the final messages he'd sent her over the earpiece was going to be some of his final words alive. And he's glad he was wrong!

But it leaves some unfortunate situations in the ruin. Specifically, the fact that he'd burned their friendship to the ground. And sure, the precursors had influenced him — they'd been influencing him since the day he'd gotten here — but it didn't change that they hadn't been fully in control the times they'd spoken before.

And it definitely didn't help that his hands were the ones that harmed her.

Fact of the matter was, he wasn't a good friend to have. And for Daisy, especially? He's pretty sure the best thing he can do for her is hide under the blanket and tell her to find better company.

But he doesn't. Because he's frozen where he's sitting, the beeping of the heart monitor speeding up urgently.

'How many of those relationships have crumbled because of your lack of control?' He can hear the precursors, even though they're gone; the memory of their words are barbed, cruel things. 'You're already a volatile little thing. You're emotional and illogical.']

You shouldn't — [His voice cracks. 'They'll abandon you—'

Half-heartedly:] Be in here.

[He doesn't laugh. But he'd considered trying to anyway.

Instead, his shoulders slump in defeat, and he breathes a soft breath.

But y'know. Law tried. And that's commendable, so.]

Yeah...

Sorry for all the trouble.

[He lights up like a kid/bull in a toy/china shop, thank you, Itachi.]

Hell yeah...! There's so much here; I see we've got ourselves a real academic kinda mind here. Could use a little flare to the wording, but y'know, we can't all be storytellers around here. [He takes a big bite of food, stores it in his cheek to add:] Pulling my old professor job card, I give you a passing grade on this one.

You haven't really caused me any trouble. I've pulled hundreds of hearts out of people.
[LAW.]

Anyway, I came over here to check for sequelae. You don't have any physical residual symptoms, do you?

[The frozen look on his face was enough for Daisy to know that maybe this hadn’t been a good idea, but then his heart starts racing and she’s regretting doing this now. But she can’t help herself. She needed to see him, needs to talk with him. To make sure he understands that she doesn’t blame him.]

Why?

[She doesn’t move closer, but she doesn’t back out either.]

[ She hums faintly, tilting her head to look at him. ]

I think you've earned it. A little. Just be careful not to get too caught up in it, Sweetie. I promise the isolation is worse.

[ Squeezing his hand, she adds, ]

And you never have to thank me for this. You're my friend, and I enjoy your company. Even if you have healing to do.

[ she allows him the space to talk, but she does continue eating as he does so. her only real experience with possession is what she so nicely deems a whole 'crock of shit,' but this was undeniable a very real thing. ]

I think that's sort of the whole point of a possession, in my understanding. You lose control of yourself.

These were fucked up high powered aliens, right? You're one person. Maybe you failed at fighting back, but I don't think you can discount those odds.

It's not. But that doesn't change the fact that it wasn't you, but it was still your body.

[ And then, a little lighter: ] I guess you're lucky that they found it prudent to take away my enhancements during that mission. Because if I'd put more of my natural strength into it you might have been recovering from a broken jaw right now, too.

[He snorts a scoff, taking a drag from his cigarette.]

We're all stuck with each other.

... But I guess that's more good than bad, huh? [He drapes his arm across a knee. The other is bouncing, bare foot tapping the smooth tile floor.] ... There're people here who were willing to be stuck with me. They didn't have to be — but I'm still here, so...

[He glances to Rosinante.]

I didn't see as much, once they pushed me further down.

But I could hear you talking. To them. Real pleasant crowd, huh?

（ newt just gets... a long, exasperated look.

nothing else.

no other reaction.

just a Look.

please return to your veggies, newt. ）

[... Scoff.

You know he's gonna make dumb jokes about stealing hearts in the future, right?

You brought that upon yourself, frankly.

More thoughtfully, he hums.]

... Headaches, mostly. Tired a lot, but I think that's just from the shock of what happened. But no nosebleeds like there were months back, or... seizures yet, or anything. McCoy's got me on anticonvulsants like before; he said something about repairing any brain tissue damage, but it's minimal. I mean, compared to what it could be. No golf-ball sized holes in my scans.

So... that's cool.

[Newt seems anxious with that little sequence of rambling. He frowns, then reaches over and sets a large hand on his shoulder. It's not a hug, he doesn't really give those out willy-nilly, but it's something.]

Can't imagine bearing that as long as you did and coming out the other side still mostly yourself. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. Those things... It puts a lot of what you told me before into context. About the monsters under your seas.

[Makes him deeply worried, actually, and not just for Newton.]

[He looks floored by the question for a moment.]

You're hurt. And you're talking to me, after everything I —

[He squeezes his eyes shut. How many times does he have to do this? Keep falling into these groundhog moments where he feels like he's in a hospital bed? Or struggling to control his emotions? Fighting to get the words out with her? Only now the aliens are gone, and all that's left is a terrible chasm where they'd dug parts of him out. Hands link together behind his head as it bows forward; he's curling in, the pressure of what he's done bearing down on him like a thousand pound weight against his spine.

He can't look at her, because he sees the memory instead.

They left him with all the memories.]

Everything's ruined. Why are you putting yourself through this?

It's all ruined.

... I'll try not to. Get caught up in it.

[He squeezes her hand back; he's never been able to help squeezing back.]

And I still wanna thank you. It's good to know when your efforts mean something, you know?

[He breathes out, running his hand back over hair that could use a wash.]

I just appreciate it. From one friend to another.

[Brows knitting together, Daisy watches him in silence as he curls into himself. She remembers what the felt like, the guilt overpowering every other emotion and thought. She remembers wanting to be left alone, to not be forgiven by the people she hurt. But she can't just leave, not now.]

I know what you're going through.

[Daisy takes a few steps forward, moving fully into his room.]

I've had my mind controlled before. I hurt people I cared about, and I was powerless to stop it.

And you're going to stay that way. We're all going to make sure of it.

[What the precursors said about what would happen after they were gone- Sabriel won't allow that to happen. They're gone, and Newton is going to live, and be happy. And not be burdened by what they used him to do.]

Yeah, but... Y'know. I just kind of hoped I was good enough for the whole... 'character takes back control just in time' kind of outcome. Not almost blowing up a whole line of trains with a bunch of people in it.

[The lines of his face seem to deep as he says it, a haunted expression floating through his vision.

But then he shakes his head, as if to jar the look loose before she can digest it in full.]

I guess now... I'm just trying not to lose my mind now that they're gone.

... The ice cream's helping. I think. Maybe if I eat a lot really fast.

[.... A-ahaha.]

Yeah... Lucky me. But the others probably would have appreciated the peace and quiet, if they had to wire my jaw shut.

[As if he's done much talking lately. But you know what he means.]

[Newton tenses at the touch, but only for a fleeting moment. There's honestly a great awe and relief when he doesn't think of how disgusting or unwanted the physical contact is — that's what they used to make him feel, and now... now it feels nice. It feels like what he's always really wanted, always had under the veil of their mindgames. It's almost enough to make him tear up; to his credit, there's a sheen in his eyes that is quickly stamped down. No crying over shoulder pats, stupid, is a thought that is very well his own and no one else's.

He reaches up, gives the hand a reassuring pat in return.]

They were supposed to be dead. I guess we... didn't get 'em all.

But Sabriel and the others, they fucked up their mind so bad, they're practically harmless. If they're even still alive past that. And Viv... she said there's a chance that what the others did will carry over into my world.

That I might not have to worry about them being in my head, or capable of hurting anyone ever again.

[That's... the hope, anyway. A hope he's clinging to for dear life.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Page 18 of 22

[Mostly Open] So we'll press, and press 'til you can't take it anymore!

Infirmary

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject