ximilialog | [ OPEN | Post Bad Company mission shenanigans ]

Entry tags:

[ OPEN | Post Bad Company mission shenanigans ]

CHARACTERS: Peter Quill and you~
LOCATION: Everywhere in the station
DATE: Right after the Bad Company mission ends
CONTENT: /this is fine.gif/
WARNINGS: Mentions of injuries, blood, death, starvation, terminal illness and also off-key singing.

↠ CLOSED TO GWEN | RIGHT AFTER COMING TO THE STATION | CW: mention of injuries and blood

[ By the time they make it to the station, Peter's head is full of static. Degard's presence almost doesn't register, his mind a flurry of jumbled thoughts after what happened to Welford. They left him behind, they couldn't save him. He can never save anybody. Even knowing that the leader of the Bouldersnakes is dead doesn't bring Peter any satisfaction.

The pain in his left shoulder is screaming at him, the exertion of the last few hours making itself known. Being bitten by a ghoul, doing a hasty job at stitching the wound up, and then fighting bandits maybe wasn't the smartest idea. It isn't as if he had much choice.

Peter wants to scream, to throw up, to run. Only one of those is a viable option, and he starts to walk, not quite sure where he is going, leaving the group of orbers he was with behind. If people talk to him, he doesn't hear them. Everyone has their own problems, anyway, and Peter is just one of many. He will be fine, he is always fine.

His vision gets blurry at the edges as he walks, his skin feels hot, too tight, and he's light-headed. Adrenaline crash is a pain in the ass, Peter thinks to himself, ignoring the way it feels as if someone is digging a heated-up fire poker into his left shoulder. Under his jacket, the wound in his shoulder has reopened and has started to bleed, red sliding down his arm, dripping onto the white clean surface of the station floor. Peter doesn't notice the trails he leaves behind as he walks.

The fingers of his left hand feel numb, and he has to reach out for a frying pan twice before he manages to grab it. A frying pan? Oh, he's in the kitchen now. How did he get here? He can't quite remember it. But they're back at the station, finally, and he promised people he was going to cook for them once they got back. That was it, what's why he's here. To help. To be useful. He needs to be useful, otherwise, what is he even good for?

The pan slips from his grasp, making a loud, clattering sound against the emptiness of the kitchen. Peter sees it fall as if it's in slow motion, but can't bring himself to stop it. The noise in his mind just gets louder. ]

↠ INFIRMARY | OPEN

A] The Great Escape

[ Much to his regret, Peter's injuries, combined with the starvation they went through in the last few weeks, meant that his sorry ass ended up in the infirmary. Anything resembling a hospital is bound to make Peter anxious rather than help him. The memories of his mother withering away in a hospital bed as the brain tumor slowly killed her come to his mind the moment he is no longer conscious. Hell no, he is not staying here.

Peter still looks like hell warmed over, and he's not even wearing pants - he would rather not think about who put him in a hospital gown, that's a humiliating thought for later-, but there's no way he's staying a minute longer in here. He pulls out the IV from his hand and winces at the sting, then tries to stand on shaky legs...and has to immediately grab onto the bed when the room starts spinning. Peter lets out some creative curses under his breath, most of them in a variety of alien languages, and takes some deep breaths. Only when it seems like his legs will support him, he makes a mad dash towards the door...and crashes against another person walking in. Damn it! ]

Oh, ey, nice to see you. I was just leaving, bye!

B] Don't Stop Believing

[ It turns out that a high dosage of antibiotics is what Peter needs to effectively treat the infection in his shoulder and It also helps to stop him from constantly trying to flee the infirmary. There are two downsides to this:

One: Peter is drugged up to the gills.
Two: He's going to make that everyone's problem

This morning he's started humming Queen songs to himself, not realizing what he was doing at first, until the humming turned into loud singing a cappella. Once he was done with Queen, and there had been quite a lot of songs to sing to, he moved onto George Michael, Iron Maiden, and Los Ramones. Currently, Peter is going for Journey, and he's really sad that he doesn't have a partner to sing with him. ]

Just a CITYYYYY BOYY...

↠ KITCHEN | OPEN

[ A few days later, once Peter is free to leave the hospital and his health has improved, he goes to the kitchen. They all need to recover and eat better, so he's making all kinds of food and putting it in containers, or leaving it in front of his friends' doors to make sure they have something good to eat.

There's grilled salmon (main for Majima), takoyaki, cheeseburgers, fried chicken, a variety of salads, lots and lots of pasta, fish sticks with chili dipping sauce (for Gwen), different kinds of tacos, as well as lots of meat, and fish dishes.

Peter makes food that he rarely eats, and he's even found in the kitchen at late hours of the night, almost as if he's avoiding going to his own room for some reason. After cooking a large batch of cookies, he sits by the kitchen table, arms folded and head resting on them, closing his eyes for a second. ]

↠ WILDCARD
[ If you'd like to do anything specific, please feel free to send me a PM, contact me on

Lylith, or hit me up with a starter of your own.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ uncharacteristically unsteady on her feet, gwen stumbles from the platform. the ending came so abruptly she has not changed from her mask and suit; she stares at her white-gloved hands until the fabric turns black and melts away from her fingers. the dimensional travel watch dulls again. the newtrilizer keeps ticking.

gwen takes it off, and finds the switch newt had showed her. the ticking stops.

a whisper of alarm takes it place—sensations she has become deft at translating. newly alert, she straightens her stride, and quickens it when she finds the trail of blood. ]

Peter?

[ gwen approaches him carefully—not afraid of what he could do to her, but rather what he might do to himself. bending, she retrieves the pan he dropped, the floor having felt the impact more than the cast iron, and places it on the countertop.

he looks godawful. she eyes with worry the blood dripping off his fingers.

touching his opposite shoulder, gwen moves into his line of sight. ]

Hey, Pete. [ they had a fight just hours ago. her voice is even because of her rising concern. ] Looks like you had a run-in with a wood chipper there. How about we get that seen to?

Edited (icon too angry) 2022-02-15 00:55 (UTC)

[ Peter isn't usually like this after a mission, he's been on plenty of them that ended badly before. But perhaps because of that very reason, his brain refuses to cooperate now. You can only push a machine so much until it starts to break. He doesn't hear Gwen calling his name, doesn't give any reaction when she reaches down for the frying pan, but jumps slightly when she touches him. Blinking rapidly, as if he's waking up from a dream, Peter's eyes try to focus on her face. ]

I...oh....Gwen? I was... [ He has no idea. He's here for a reason. Where is he? Right, right, the kitchen. Food. People are hungry. ] You wanted fish sticks. You need to eat now that we're safe, Gwen.

[ It comes out softly, almost apologetically. Peter doesn't understand her concern or the mention of the wood chipper until he tries to lift his left hand to place it over her wrist. A hot pain like molten fire runs down his shoulder, and this time he can't stop the wince. It does help to sober him up. ]

Fuck aah...it's nothing. I got injured before the bandit's attack, the wound must have reopened.

N-no...!

[it's happening again.

it happened before, in the midst of sleeping, and because it happened in the midst of sleeping, Blue thought it a dream. a bad dream.

but he's not asleep anymore.

he's quite awake, in fact. and...

they're gone.

the ambient thoughts and feelings of the station...gone. it's Badrock again. again, except--

no one. no one's...here?!

panic gives him the strength to push up to his feet, to stagger to his bedroom door, to burst through it and stumble for the next handhold in a desperate attempt to move, to search for them, calling feebly in his thoughts the whole time.

Where are you...where did you all go?! Yzak, Finn...James...Peter...!

the truth is that no one has left - his powers have. the perception of those people...it's vanished, and he's convinced they're gone.]

Where...where...!

[Where are you?!]

[ Peter hasn't been sleeping well either. He hasn't been sleeping, in fact, and when he does, he only has nightmares. They will hopefully get a little better with time, but right now, the bad memories of the last mission are still too fresh for Peter's mind to rest.

He's awake and in the common living area, pretty close to the bedrooms, and it doesn't take long to hear the noise. Someone else is awake and they sound very stressed. It takes Peter a second to realize it's Blue's voice, and he hurries down the corridor, looking for the man. ]

Blue? Are you okay? What's wrong? [ Peter is alarmed now, which does nothing to improve his tired appearance, his green eyes wide and looking around for threats. ]

[it seems Blue didn't anticipate Peter even being there...because he didn't. he didn't feel him approach! and he can't...

...sense him now.

Blue is holding himself up by way of clutching someone else's door handle, desperately searching and fixing his focus on Peter. his mouth opens and closes without a reply at first -- not audibly.

Peter. Something's wrong. Peter--

but Peter's not looking. not noticing? not until he calls aloud:]

Peter--

It's not nothing, Peter. [ still gentle. still trying to avoid another fight. ]

I don't know about you, but I don't like blood in my fish sticks. [ she chuckles weakly. ] I don't even like my steak rare.

[ as she talks, she catalogs what she sees. he's distracted. unfocused. maybe blood loss. maybe shock. maybe it's just the pain. she slides her hand down to his wrist, half in comforting gesture, half to feel for his pulse. ]

Come on. Let's get you seen to, cleaned up… We can get the fish sticks later.

[ He expects Blue to feel him coming before he even shows up in the corridor, because that's usually what happens. It's something Peter has gotten used to and even come to expect.

After seeing Blue cling to the door handle for deal life, Peter approaches him faster, his hand reaching out for him. He doesn't hear Blue until he speaks. ]

It's okay, I'm here. Are you hurt? What's wrong?

[Blue all but throws himself at Peter, grasping at his arms both to hold himself up and to try and open that door to greater communication.

but that door...it isn't even there. he only feels Peter as a flesh-and-blood body, no thrumming mind and heart.

his stomach drops.]

No... Why... This isn't...really you, is it? [his eyes move past him, trying to see some notion of minds somewhere - anywhere.]

Where is...everyone...?! The orb again?

[ Peter wraps his right arm around Blue firmly, his left one not so much. The injury of his shoulder still slows him down, and he can't make sudden movements or raise the arm over his elbow yet. Big, green eyes stare back at Blue, trying to understand what might be happening, looking at his friend up and down for any possible injuries. ]

Yes, it's me. I couldn't sleep, so I was not in my room. Almost everyone else is in bed at this hour, but I've seen others orbers in the living room and the kitchen. Nothing's wrong with the orbs, Viv would have warned us. Do you feel anything strange about them? Should we warn Degard?

[Viv.

Viveca--

Viveca...what is happening to me?

Blue goes still, breath caught in his throat for a beat that ends in a tremble. his grip tightens and then slacks.]

No, it--

It's...me...

[he nearly wobbles backward, reeling.]

I can't...feel--

You can't feel? Blue, I don't understand what...

[ That's irrelevant, Peter tells himself., Blue is upset and scared, and whatever is happening isn't good. He holds the smaller man tighter again himself, getting just as alarmed as Blue, but trying to hide it. ]

It's okay, we will figure out what's happening, I promise. [ He tries to keep his voice, even, his emotions at bay, knowing that if he gets scared Blue will sense it. ] Do you want me to get you to the infirmary? Of if you need to sit, my room's closer.

It doesn't-! Change! [Blue's attention whips back at Peter, wide-eyed in dismay.]

When I--when I woke, it was gone. Everything...empty. Like Badrock! You, Finn, the others...I can't...feel you anymore! Your hearts, your minds! Gone!

[he exhales shakily, shaking his head.]

I thought. I was dreaming, but...it's...happening again. [he sags, head falling against Peter's chest.] It's...really happening. I'm...

Empty? [ That's alarming, even for someone who's never had power.

Did they all lose their hearts? Peter hasn't been feeling well since he came back, but he's aware it's his lingering PTSD and feeling down because Gamora and others disappeared and about what happened to Welford. He still cares and worries for people, that needs to count for something, right? ]

Blue, blue...[ Peter reaches up to place a hand on his nape, gently brushing his hair to soothe him. His mother used to do that for him when he was upset, he hoped it would help Blue as well. ]

I'm here, I am real. Can you feel my touch? Sense my heartbeat? I don't know what's wrong, but we can look for a solution together. Perhaps the orbs at the station really are messing with us...

[yes, he can feel him. he's warm. there's a pulse. but--

but...did those visions also feel warm? did they have pulses? Blue never knew, keeping such a safe distance from them for most of the time. he could pretend he remembers, but that's just it: pretense.

Blue's legs start to give as he sags against Peter, eyes welling up.]

It's like... Going blind...losing a limb. Navigating the world without psionics...
I can't...even remember how, Peter.

[ He feels Blue shag in his arm and he seems close to crying, and Peter moves before even thinking if it's a good idea. He leans forward and wraps an arm more firmly around Blues's waist, the other moving under his legs to lift him up bridal style. His friend doesn't weigh much but his left shoulder still protests about the strain. Peter winces slightly in pain but starts to walk them both towards his room. ]

So it's your powers...fucks I can only imagine. [ Peter had Celestial powers only for a hot second, and losing them sucked. He can't even begin to imagine how big the loss is for someone like Blue. ] It could be temporary. We went through a lot, perhaps you just need to rest and recover.

[ The bedrooms rooms are all in the same corridor, and it takes Peter less than a minute to reach his own. His hands are full of Mu, alas, so he can't exactly open the door. So he kicks it and the door opens on it's own, the ship's tech clearly understanding what Peter wants after that blunt sign. ]

[Blue's lighter than he ought to be and has little means to protest, clutching Peter's shirt and ducking his head against his shoulder, bristling a bit from the force of the kick - something he couldn't brace for, lacking the glimpse of Peter's intentions.

he likewise brooks no resistance in being set down, save for still hanging onto Peter's shirt after-the-fact.]

I thought...it was just a bad dream...

[ He doesn't have it in him to fight more, and he wouldn't yell at her - unless Gwen is terrorizing him with dead snakes, that's it. Her soft tone seems to be working. Peter is pretty easy to handle if done kindly, something that Yondu never quite understood. ]

Yeah, that's not... that's not a good topping. [ His heart rate is elevated, nothing wildly, but also not normal either. Peter is also hotter to the touch than usual because of the rising infection caused by teh woudn in his shoulder. He takes a deep breath and then nods, finally giving Gwen a good look and letting her lead him anywhere she might want. ]

I'm sorry, I...it's been.... We fucked up, the mission. And here, I wanted. I wanted to do something right, to help. But...

[ the heat of his skin is worrying. gwen lays the backs of her fingers against his forehead, then his cheek. his face feels overly warm too. worry rises up her throat; she tastes it every time she swallows. ]

None of that. [ her tone is a little firmer. ] Some days, it's enough just to know you made it.

You're alive. So am I. The rest can be fixed. But you need to be okay for that part.

[ The fingers feel blessedly cool against his skin, and Peter closes his eyes, letting out a sigh. He is being ridiculous, he knows, he's survived worse missions in the past with his team. But this one is hitting him hard, perhaps because he's been trying to ignore his feelings for so long that things have reached a critical point.

Gwen needs food and rest, having to sustain herself and Venom, while Peter is older, and more expendable. But pointing that out might only upset her more, and he has enough brain cells to know that. Peter nods, but the movement makes him feel dizzy, and he sways on his feet ].

Okay. I think...I should sit. I don't suppose the kitchen is spinning on its own, uh?

No, that is definitely a you problem.

[ gwen pulls his arm across her shoulders…then pulls the whole of him over her shoulders. ]

Up you get, Star-Lord.

[ she shifts him up into a fireman's carry, leaving his hurt shoulder free. he isn't heavy to her, even exhausted she is. her fatigue is far away right now, concern for peter overriding everything else. she turns for the door. ]

So, [ she begins, hoping to keep him engaged, ] aside from fish sticks, what else were you planning?

[ The view of the double bed makes something in Peter's chest ache, but he takes a deep breath and ignores the awful feeling of loss. Blue needs him to know, his own issues can wait.

Walking in, he gently lowers Blue to the bed and sits next to him, still offering the comfort of touch with an arm kept around the man's waist as Blue clings to him. ]

Could it be that something triggered a block? Or maybe that your body needs more rest?

More rest... [Blue can't even vocalize his frustration properly; it's too much effort and energy.] How much...more must I rest? Peter... This... It's unsustainable.

[from mostly being around the infirmary and helping take care of those injured after the mission was over, peter had been no exception to being one of the few people she had been checking up on while he was there. it had been a few days but she already knew he feeling well enough to no longer be stuck there but she is surprised to find him in the kitchens especially this late at night.

she probably isn't one to talk being up this late herself but sleep tends to evade her even in the best of circumstances. she just barely makes it a couple steps into kitchen when she notices the amount of food that was cooked and ready to eat followed by seeing peter with head down, looking like he's taking a nap while seated at the kitchen table] Wow. It seems like you've been busy.

[ He hasn't been at his best, both feeling lonely and without the energy to socialize. Clarke coming to see how he was doing was something Peter appreciated more than he could put into words. He has been pretty out of it the first few days, so he's sure he made a fool of himself, there was that added layer of embarrassment to deal with.

Now, he needed to do something useful, and after nearly two months of starving, he started cooking to make sure everyone had something to grab when they came to the kitchen. The voice rouses him from his half-sleep state, and he looks up with tired eyes at Clake. It takes him a second to recognize her, and then Peter straightens, rubbing at the back of her neck. ]

Oh, hi Clarke. Feel free to grab anything you want, all the containers are labeled with the ingredients. Jim is allergic to a lot of things, so I thought that others might be as well. Better safe than sorry.

[ He can't vocalize it but Peter hangs around people who have some difficulty expressing their emotions, and knows how to read the atmosphere. His actual tired state doesn't make him the most insightful, he's generally better at comfort, though. ]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I imagine this shit must be terrifying after having had this that sort of powers and connections to others for so long. Most of us humans go through life blind, figuring people's emotions by trial and error. [ Peter rubs the back of his nape, at a loss of how to help or what to do. ] Does anything hurt? Maybe there's another issue we haven't realized just yet that could be causing this temporary loss of powers.

[Blue doesn't answer right away. he doesn't mean to make matters more stressful by way of silence, but trying to navigate his distress means he needs to clam up and try and focus on what he can take stock of. heart pounding is from panic - that's why his chest hurts... so trying to slow his breathing will help that. he closes his eyes and tries...

does anything hurt? oh, Peter. the more Blue could say, the worse it would be...

stories and reflections could paint suffering as graceful, even beautiful in some respects, but being in the midst of it is far from glamorous. it's humiliating, demoralizing...disgraceful.

quietly, eventually:] I don't know, Peter. I don't know. [more's the frustration.]

Ah..yeah I get a lot of those sometimes. Me problems.

[ If Peter was only half responsible before, then the new change in position wakes him up fully. He startles, arms flailing for a moment and then immediately letting out a pained OUCH! when the movement makes his shoulder hurt more. At least it prompts him to stop squirming. ]

You're very strong. [ He sounds surprised, like Peter always does when Gwen does things like this. What is with Spider-people being all super strong but looking like dancers instead of bodybuilders? Lucky fellows. ]

I was, uhm...[ He's still a bit dizzy and out of it but talking is helping him focus. ] Yelena likes spicy food, I was going to make crispy buffalo wings. Do you like those? Or your only comfort food is corndogs?

[ maybe they can find a radioactive spider to bite peter. if he can stop squirming long enough to let it be put on him, anyway. ]

I've been known to eat spicy wings from time to time.

[ she carries him easily from the kitchen in direction of the infirmary. ]

[ No poor spider deserves that fate. But Peter would enjoy having spider power, if anything, because he loves flying. ]

I could make you some. But maybe tomorrow.

[ If Peter weren't so out of it, he would find this whole situation ridiculous. He's a grown-ass man being carried around by someone barely out of her teenage years like he's some sort of helpless damsel. As it is, the only thing he has to say is: ]

Sorry for bleeding on you. Where are we going? The room's are not that way. I...think.

[ They're both just as lost, it's no one's fault. Peter would be as afraid as Blue if he were in his position, and he would be angry because that's the emotion that usually follows

Pain has never been glamorous or something Peter liked to romanticize, far too used to it from a young age. It builds frustration, and often it requires an outlet. It's why, after Blue's strained answer, Peter can only think of suggesting: ]

Do you want to break anything? Or yell? That could help. We can...we can go to the simulation room and find something that works for you.

[the suggestion is something so absurd to hear in earnest, yet Peter is nothing but earnest, isn't he? in the midst of sucking back a breath to keep anguish at bay, Blue can't help but exhale in a shaky laugh, eyes welling up with tears.]

Break...tear...yell, scream... Haa, Peter... I would do all of these things and more. [he wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand.] I'm so...angry at this misery in me, I no longer care...how justified it is, ha.

You're a regular Sherlock.

[ she does not bother to explain where they are going when stepping through answers the question just as well. beds are already occupied, and she grimaces. spotting an empty bed, gwen walks toward it, and sets peter carefully atop it. ]

You need that shoulder looked at. [ along with…everything else. with his phobias, gwen isn't sure how much he actually ate. ]

I always liked Colombo more. [ The moment Peter realizes that she brought him to the infirmary, he turns a shade paler, uneasiness setting in the pit of his stomach like a stone. Peter also starts to trash around. ]

Oh, no, nonono...you know what? I'm feeling much better already! I just need to sleep it off. Gwen put me down.

[ If she does that, he will start running in the opposite direction of the infirmary, like a mature adult. Usually, he wouldn't be this irrational when forced to stay in a hospital-like room and rest, but the fever isn't helping. ]

I would, [ she fights to keep a grip, ] but you seem a flight risk. Stop wriggling, man, you're going to fuck up your shoulder even more!

[ Life is often absurd and incoherent. Sometimes, given into such absurdity can be really freeing. ]

Then do them. It might help, otherwise, anger and frustration make a nest inside you and fester. I've seen it plenty. [ Peter moves his hand from Blue's shoulder up to his nape until he can run his finger through the long hair there. His mom used to do that for him when he was anxious or afraid, and it helped him. ]

I meant it, even if it sounds silly. Sometimes we need to cry, other times we need to scream at the injustice of it all.

[injustice? Blue breathes out a pained sound, his head turning away and tilting down.]

It's...comeuppance, not injustice, I think. For...skirting my death...one last time. There's no hiding from it this time.

Wanting to live a little longer is not a crime. [ God knows what Peter would have done years ago, only to give his mother even just another happy day in her life. ]

Blue... [ He looks pained himself after hearing Blue so defeated, at the realization of what the loss of power really means, and for a moment, Peter is just stunned. He blinks quickly, fighting back the bad memories of seeing his mother slowly waste away in a hospital bed, trying to ignore the sinking feeling blooming in the pit of his stomach. He wouldn't wish that fate on anyone, especially not his friend. ]

Don't talk like that. We will find a solution. There are people here who can do magic, who are good doctors...we will figure something out.

[ He's trying to convince both Blue and himself, but he's accomplishing neither. ]

[Blue squeezes his eyes shut, having to now brace against the swell of anxiety Peter exudes - chilled by the faint visions of the roots of that dismay, the loves lost that are forever entangled with the suffering of loss.

he fears seeding more of those thorns.

don't talk like that, Peter says. he won't, then. but he can't...really speak to anything more, can he? not with the tightening knot in his throat. he can only swallow and exhale, sagging against the man doing his damndest to be stable despite the shuddering of foundations.]

[ It's not as if Peter wants Blue to hold in his feelings, of course, especially if he's scared or angry. It's only that negative thoughts can drag you down into an even bigger spiral of anxiety and distress if you let them run amok. He knows it from experience.

When Blue doesn't say anything more at all, Peter gives up and wraps both of his arms around Blue, pulling him close. He's having trouble putting a name to the overwhelming sensations he's feeling. There's fear about the past and what might come, grief about the lost time and the chances that were denied to them, and a bone-deep tiredness due to the miserable past constantly repeating itself no matter what Peter tries. It's all mixing together, like something alive and vicious, thorny, that is curling around his chest and squeezing. It makes his eyes well up with tears. ]

I don't know what to do, Blue. I'm sorry.

[ She's way stronger than him, so he's probably easy to keep in place. It doesn't stop Peter from trying, though. But damn, spider-powers, they're not fair. ]

I'll pay you literal money if you let me go.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ OPEN | Post Bad Company mission shenanigans ]

no subject

no subject

wild mu problems

Oh no, baby ;w;

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

kitchen!

♥

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject