[ Oooooh he hates this. Ooooh he's gonna hate doing this. Sincerely tell someone important to you what they mean to you. Why is it that everything during this mission seems to be set up to ruin his life! He's not good with this!
But this is his task. That memory was one thing, demeaning as it was. This is what he needs to accomplish his goal, fix his regret. Something he would easily give his life for if needed (not that he wants to). So he has to ensure it comes first. Even if the price here is more of his already battered dignity. ]
Fine ... fine!
[ Of course, that doesn't mean this is going to be easy for him. He looks at Newton, then averts his gaze down the floor, fists clenching. How much does he have to say? ]
Look, this whole thing was absolutely fucking ridiculous! [ A wonderful start. ] But, of all the people on this team who had to wander into here to see this shit, I'll ... probably be more relieved getting out of here that it was you. Even if you're maddening about it sometimes, you make it clear that you give a shit about the people around you. And ... I appreciate that. Even on the station or on a mission when we're focused on the task at hand, you're not only likewise focused, but you still somehow manage to do more to make it easier on everyone else - even if that 'more' is a disgustingly sappy movie! But looking after your team is obviously something important to me, so sharing that sort of priority with you and seeing you accomplish it in your own, unique [ You know what he means by that!! ] way so effortlessly, it's impressive. Sometimes even ... enviable, that you can do those things so easily! And you ... before, it was pretty clear that you were talking about Hermann, you realize that, right? Even though I'll tell you you're off base because what you saw is nothing like that at all! [ A breath, to stop himself before he falls back into that aggravation. ] But what you said all the same ... you're a person who can be trusted. I've trusted you all this time, anyway, so that's not even new!
And I know you trust, too, but I wish you'd trust more, when it comes more than just surface issues! Because you're an important part of this team, and we'd be at a greater disadvantage without your presence or aid! [ Which is a truth, but he realizes upon saying that it's a tiny slip back into his usual bluster. Sincerely. ] I ... also don't want to see any more people I care about be hurt, in any manner. Especially you, because you're my friend and I like having you around, okay!?
[ That should be enough, right? Which means he needs to tack on his own addition at the end to weigh out that embarrassing amount of feelings. He's flustered all over again. ]
T-that should all be obvious, though! You better have known it already! I just had to ensure I did this so I can complete my mission! Now we can forget all about it when we're awake!
no subject
But this is his task. That memory was one thing, demeaning as it was. This is what he needs to accomplish his goal, fix his regret. Something he would easily give his life for if needed (not that he wants to). So he has to ensure it comes first. Even if the price here is more of his already battered dignity. ]
Fine ... fine!
[ Of course, that doesn't mean this is going to be easy for him. He looks at Newton, then averts his gaze down the floor, fists clenching. How much does he have to say? ]
Look, this whole thing was absolutely fucking ridiculous! [ A wonderful start. ] But, of all the people on this team who had to wander into here to see this shit, I'll ... probably be more relieved getting out of here that it was you. Even if you're maddening about it sometimes, you make it clear that you give a shit about the people around you. And ... I appreciate that. Even on the station or on a mission when we're focused on the task at hand, you're not only likewise focused, but you still somehow manage to do more to make it easier on everyone else - even if that 'more' is a disgustingly sappy movie! But looking after your team is obviously something important to me, so sharing that sort of priority with you and seeing you accomplish it in your own, unique [ You know what he means by that!! ] way so effortlessly, it's impressive. Sometimes even ... enviable, that you can do those things so easily! And you ... before, it was pretty clear that you were talking about Hermann, you realize that, right? Even though I'll tell you you're off base because what you saw is nothing like that at all! [ A breath, to stop himself before he falls back into that aggravation. ] But what you said all the same ... you're a person who can be trusted. I've trusted you all this time, anyway, so that's not even new!
And I know you trust, too, but I wish you'd trust more, when it comes more than just surface issues! Because you're an important part of this team, and we'd be at a greater disadvantage without your presence or aid! [ Which is a truth, but he realizes upon saying that it's a tiny slip back into his usual bluster. Sincerely. ] I ... also don't want to see any more people I care about be hurt, in any manner. Especially you, because you're my friend and I like having you around, okay!?
[ That should be enough, right? Which means he needs to tack on his own addition at the end to weigh out that embarrassing amount of feelings. He's flustered all over again. ]
T-that should all be obvious, though! You better have known it already! I just had to ensure I did this so I can complete my mission! Now we can forget all about it when we're awake!